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Misc masturbation/porn is similar to addictive substances

C

chevybald

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 7, 2021
Messages
3
I wholeheartedly believe that masturbation/sex is a drug of choice for addictive/pleasure-seeking personalities especially since I've compared myself to my mother addicted to CC. The bigger picture of addiction behaviour (conscious and subconscious ways of obtaining that pleasure) in myself and mother signifies my drug is porn and her drug is crack. Her itch is a lot worse than mine of course but my itch is so easily scratched and sometimes I make that itch when its not even there. The mental disorders (dissociation depression anxiety) and the need for ejaculation have mutual causality just as any other addictive substance or thing.

Only in recent years I realise the damaging effect masturbation has had on my mind. 25 years of living 18 years of masturbating. I'd say i have a mild personality disorder and dissociative disorder purely because of it. It's difficult to notice but there are slight changes to my personality every time I've masturbated based on how i do daily activities and emotional responses. My personality shifts dramatically every time i masturbate and shifts slightly/gradually without masturbation. Just like how one may make an excuse to use a drug I make an excuse to shift my mood/personality/mind to feel better. It's never better though sometimes i make myself believe it.

Also I realise how every year, my days of happiness have reduced from many to few to seriously none. I feel like this constant masturbation has sapped me of my emotions and ability to sense or give love. It's gradually becoming more rare now, but there are periods of time in which i feel like myself, im able to love, im able to feel angry or happy or sad and i feel like i can take on anything. these moments i have of myself currently occur less than once a week and when it does its lasts until i wake up the next day to being emotionally numb again. If i have not masturbated i start feeling glimpses of this true self but the overwhelming negative withdrawals drive me to use again. Even so, feelings of happiness entice me just as much as sadness/depression to wank again.


I know that if i stop i can recover myself from the 'devil's grasp' and lead a normal life but it's so hard for me to make a step :(
 
I agree it is quite addictive. But unlike other enjoyments - say drugs for instance - it doesn't seem to get old. That is the possessive part IMO as ya either doing it or thinking about it, am I right? LOL

edit: need citations for the addictive porn for experimental reasons
 
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My drug addiction (opioids, benzos, etc..) slowly murdered my sex drive.

But in a way, I'm okay with it. Because I feel like sex & feelings of horny-ness were distractions for the most part.
I still have one, it's just easier to control because being medicated helps my mind slip away from it when I think about it, if I choose to.

Plus once you try harder drugs, there's just nothing else that can compare to them.


Antidepressants can kill your sex drive, if you've ever tried them. But they can cause a whole host of other side effects as well. Might be worth looking into though if you are feeling down and all. The side effect of removing your sex drive for awhile may allow you to be able to focus on other areas of your life that need attention.


I think you are young yet (if you're 25) and it's normal to be a crazy wanker at that age. :p Once you get older, you'll lose some of that and might start to look at life/love differently.


I wouldn't suggest going and getting a drug addiction, but finding some other pleasurable thing to do to replace it could help.
I find semen retention to have rewarding qualities and it almost becomes addictive to NOT masturbate because you can literally feel the energy building up inside you.


Interestingly, the French call it Le Petite Mort, or "the small death". And the Chinese believed it was your life force. Every time you ejaculate, you lose a piece of yourself (as you describe, losing your ability to feel love, emotions, pleasure). You will have to discipline yourself greatly if you'd like to get over it. Especially in today's hypersexualized world. But it's worth it. And it can be done if you are serious about it and put your mind to it.

Good luck OP!



PS : Porn is also definitely a drug. The act of masturbation itself also in a way is a built in drug delivery system.
 
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