cherub
Bluelighter
I can't explain where this came from in my head and the jumping around in thoughts I tried to put it into maybe three poems. But it does seem to work it's self out of control by it own right. That is what I get for fishing in my head to the calm and serene person I have been lately.
So naming this work has become a puzzle since it is a marsh of words
that take my mind here and there tonight.
but all in all it has a place and meaning somwhere in my life
This is not just someone going insane or just questions about life
writting this was putting it all into perspective
Maybe paint a picture one where i have finally
danced with the grove in motion
streaming so far and sooth
The mastered and practice art of self discovering
So maybe I guestion all the things around me to much
Taking to much on, more then I should do
breaking me down, then putting me back together again
But I do it all for me in the end
The selfish being that I am
I help to make me feel good.
Not for recognition,
but to find that one place
where I mean something.
Like that dolls when you were little
you ripped it's head off
Realizing it was your favorite
and it will never be the same again
I tear myself apart putting it back together
so certain that this one of me might be right
But years of tearing and repairing
maybe finally have gotten my head right ?
I just want to be finally
that goofy girl they laughed about, or the struggling one if is told to be proper and never fart in public.
But I can delete and erase who I am,
I have tried so many times
I become this mismatch puzzle with no scientic reason for
why, why is life, why is there me, why are the choices at hand some
of the hardest to make
Many nights i wished for
any shoulder to be mine for another night
but not the way is was back then. But for you to see me now, since you went and made me guestion who I really was.
It was like you handed me a flashlight in the dark of the tunnell and walked away. Leaving me to test and tamper with this light that was gona lead me out to..... Freedom
You failed to give me instructions I barely think you know them yourself leaving out certain items like waist deep water up ahead. Big rock could fall on your head if you turn down left in that tunnell. No map to carry, just this light. constant reminder I can't have fear ,,, I can't be the one to find all the faults to run from or beat a relationship to pieces till there is nothing left.
Could it be in the search for learning is not always running Cause if you stay in one situation to long, it will be put as in a rut, and you stop learning and experience more. I am there and now then here,,,, all mixed up to be this search, my search is balance all the questions i have, and even them out with my reality. Finding that balance in me. The one i search for on a daily basis. Some days i feel closer to knowing and other more lost then when i set out to see. It is coming on not strong but intensitity i can't even wish to ingore.
So naming this work has become a puzzle since it is a marsh of words
that take my mind here and there tonight.
but all in all it has a place and meaning somwhere in my life
This is not just someone going insane or just questions about life
writting this was putting it all into perspective
Maybe paint a picture one where i have finally
danced with the grove in motion
streaming so far and sooth
The mastered and practice art of self discovering
So maybe I guestion all the things around me to much
Taking to much on, more then I should do
breaking me down, then putting me back together again
But I do it all for me in the end
The selfish being that I am
I help to make me feel good.
Not for recognition,
but to find that one place
where I mean something.
Like that dolls when you were little
you ripped it's head off
Realizing it was your favorite
and it will never be the same again
I tear myself apart putting it back together
so certain that this one of me might be right
But years of tearing and repairing
maybe finally have gotten my head right ?
I just want to be finally
that goofy girl they laughed about, or the struggling one if is told to be proper and never fart in public.
But I can delete and erase who I am,
I have tried so many times
I become this mismatch puzzle with no scientic reason for
why, why is life, why is there me, why are the choices at hand some
of the hardest to make
Many nights i wished for
any shoulder to be mine for another night
but not the way is was back then. But for you to see me now, since you went and made me guestion who I really was.
It was like you handed me a flashlight in the dark of the tunnell and walked away. Leaving me to test and tamper with this light that was gona lead me out to..... Freedom
You failed to give me instructions I barely think you know them yourself leaving out certain items like waist deep water up ahead. Big rock could fall on your head if you turn down left in that tunnell. No map to carry, just this light. constant reminder I can't have fear ,,, I can't be the one to find all the faults to run from or beat a relationship to pieces till there is nothing left.
Could it be in the search for learning is not always running Cause if you stay in one situation to long, it will be put as in a rut, and you stop learning and experience more. I am there and now then here,,,, all mixed up to be this search, my search is balance all the questions i have, and even them out with my reality. Finding that balance in me. The one i search for on a daily basis. Some days i feel closer to knowing and other more lost then when i set out to see. It is coming on not strong but intensitity i can't even wish to ingore.
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