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Married woman making advances

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puking

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
56
I'm a 23 yr old guy with little experience in sex/relationships. There is this married, older (mid-thirties) woman at work.

I did a few favors to her back a few months. Then we developed a small friendship. She started getting closer and closer though. At some point I started getting uncomfortable, she being married. I have little to no sexual attraction towards her. It seems she'd get every chance she could to talk to me and appear in front of me (sometimes like a fuckin vulture). One day, to my utter disbelief, she started spilling out rapidly some very personal stuff about her life and her marriage, even sexual stuff, WITHOUT ME ASKING. I'm uncomfortable even knowing about this stuff. At this point I wanted to tell her to fuck off but I didn't want to be rude.

Her husband is a crackhead and she suffers in her marriage.

The day before yesterday she brought a gift to me at work. I asked why the fuck are you giving me a fucking present she said it is because I'm so nice, for the favors I did for her. Jesus, it is small insignificant stuff. I accepted it, didn't want to be rude.

If I had a wife or girlfriend, I certainly wouldn't like her giving gifts to men at work...

Yesterday it became crystal clear. We were alone at some point and she started to throw herself at me, figuratively and literally. In the work place. No need for details though. I refused as politely and nicely as possible, but I'm affraid I was too lenient with her.

What the fuck? This is new to me. I didn't know there was neeeeeedy married women out there throwing themselves at younger guys.

This situation is filling me with anxiety, paranoia and mental confusion. This is certainly "helping" with the withdrawal issues I'm going through right now. I'm afraid I was too polite, too lenient.
Or am I being too prudish?
There is something about this woman that creeps me out though.
Does anyone have any experience with this?
 
Really only two choices here... Be blunt that you're not interested, or fuck her. It's your call.
 
She sounds pretty unhappy & lonely. She's just desperate for some type of affection, that's all.

You say youre not attracted, so just make it clear, as kindly as you can, that it's not gonna happen. It may take a few times.
 
You're not attracted to her so the suggestions above that recommend you have sex with her ... probably not the way to go.

And yeah, she clearly isn't happy in her relationship, not something you really have to deal with. Not when she keeps acting like this without you initiating anything, or going with it. Some people don't understand that no means no. And that you simply aren't interested. You are going to have to be blunt though. And upfront. Your way isn't working (unfortunately) so you've got to do something different.

It may be okay to pretend to have a girlfriend or something, although I don't know for sure if that'd work.
 
puking said:
What the fuck? This is new to me. I didn't know there was neeeeeedy married women out there throwing themselves at younger guys.
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hah, yeah you definitely thought wrong on that one

llama112 said:
It may be okay to pretend to have a girlfriend or something, although I don't know for sure if that'd work.
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you know I think that this would work. however, she will no doubt be confused as to why you aren't a cheater like her. explain to her that while she is great and all, you are in a relationship with someone that you just love so much, and couldn't imagine cheating on her...
 
I think teenage boys and women in their mid to late thirties are the horniest people on the planet.

Just remember there is a husband involved.. and some husbands can have a tendency to get a little upset if someone starts fucking their wife.. some can even get violent if they become aware.. also if you enter into a relationship like this, I believe there is an unwritten constant obligation to listen to her bitch, wine, and sob about how her husband doesn't treat her well. This is common I think because the women who have affairs can build up and express so many negative things about their husbands as justification for the affair in their own mind, and feel that you should be aware of this also, ya know so you dont think they are some cheating fluzzy. but isnt it funny how its never awful enough for them to leave or work on .. and for some odd reason these justifications seem to be in their mind right after they have been taking a hard pounding of cock that happens not to be their husbands.

But on the other hand women In this age group usually are pretty damn good lays.. but maybe find one that isn't married;)

I would not do this and dont as why mess wit a marriage when there are so many single ladies out there.. especially if there are kids in the marriage.. being a potential home wrecker just isn't something to aspire for.. especially just for a little strange.
 
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I always stay away from married women - because I have a tendency to want to stay alive; fucking a married women increases your chances of getting knifed by a statistical 65 percent
 
When you say that you were too lenient with her, how did you rebuff her advances? Some people can't/won't take a hint so you will have to be ready for her next time. Know what you're going to say and if you have to be mean, then you will need to be mean. This woman needs to realize that what she's doing is not cool at all, especially in the workplace. No means no and don't leave room for misinterpretation.
 
Could be fun man , but remember - guns don't kill people - husbands who come home from work early kill people.
If you want to be nice , let her continue to vent her problems to ya' ..... But I'd personally let her find someone else to fuck around with - and she probably will .......that must have been awkward ( and hard to turn down )
 
your gonna have to be super blunt. be harsh and make it clear that you are not interested because any glimmer of hope is just setting her up for more annoying of you
 
I feel letting her know that her being married is ample reason for you to maintain distance and not develop any sort of relationship. Tell her its respect of marriage and her husbands entitlement.
 
She already knows that I'm single, can't fake I have a girlfriend.

One thing that drives me crazy is the fact that people in the office keep leaving us alone.

neversickanymore said:
Just remember there is a husband involved.. and some husbands can have a tendency to get a little upset if someone starts fucking their wife.. some can even get violent if they become aware..
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Yes, that's the problem. I already know that her husband might be a violent person.

Today I avoided her pretty efficiently. But there was this situation a few hours ago where I was lifting a heavy load and something in my back stung painfully. I said something like "oh shit, my back". She was passing nearby and said, in front of several other people, "oh dont worry about your back, I'll massage you later". What a wacko. There was people there who I suspect are acquinted to her husband.
 
puking said:
She already knows that I'm single, can't fake I have a girlfriend.

One thing that drives me crazy is the fact that people in the office keep leaving us alone.



Yes, that's the problem. I already know that her husband might be a violent person.

Today I avoided her pretty efficiently. But there was this situation a few hours ago where I was lifting a heavy load and something in my back stung painfully. I said something like "oh shit, my back". She was passing nearby and said, in front of several other people, "oh dont worry about your back, I'll massage you later". What a wacko. There was people there who I suspect are acquinted to her husband.
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thats socially awkward and really counts as a form of harassment. if need be you might have to be harsh go to your boss or tell her in front of people "my back doesn't need any massaging from you" she has no respect for you. its not on
 
I had to report a boss for sexual harassment last year. It sucked bad, because he also had mental issues and was abusing his meds. I couldn't even tell you if it was worth it. I felt like a narc but he wouldn't leave me alone. They moved him out of our little area, and it made everything so awkward. If I had it to do again, I would have just found another job.

It will make things better as far as contact with her, but everything just becomes so awkward, because sooner or later the whole office knows and it just turns the work environment from frustrating to awkward.

If it's to the point of reporting it, I really suggest finding another job.
 
Alright, Im actually glad I saw this. I have had a LOT of experience with this the past half year. I got clean and all the sudden every married woman in sight wanted me sexually. I admit that I slept with 5 married women. Im totally ashamed and in no way bragging about it, but its the truth. Being sober was weird, and having attention like that with so many women made it comforting. They ALL had one thing in common though, their husbands were either hopeless addicts, wife beaters, or just not there... Yes, some were fun and no strings, but there was one that when it ended her husband found out... he was more than pissed and had to deal with some really shitty things. DO NOT get attached (although i dont think this applies) to any of them. Its bad.... because they ALL GO BACK TO THEIR PIECE OF SHIT HUSBANDS. No matter what story or how bad the marriage seems, they will 85% of the time go back if it starts as a fun sexual thing with you. So no attachments.
For you man, since you arent wanting to go there and her husband is a crack head...you gotta be blunt. Polite, but blunt. Make no moves she can use against you, make as much distance from her as possible, be polite as stated but firm in your word and body language that you dont want to screw her. No teasing at all. hope you dont do what I did. If I could go back, I would do it differently
 
I'm just reading this thinking about if a man was doing this to a woman. 8o I think this counts as sexual harassment.
 
blueaddict43 said:
They ALL had one thing in common though, their husbands were either hopeless addicts, wife beaters, or just not there... Yes, some were fun and no strings, but there was one that when it ended her husband found out... he was more than pissed and had to deal with some really shitty things. DO NOT get attached (although i dont think this applies) to any of them. Its bad.... because they ALL GO BACK TO THEIR PIECE OF SHIT HUSBANDS. No matter what story or how bad the marriage seems, they will 85% of the time go back if it starts as a fun sexual thing with you.
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neversickanymore said:
also if you enter into a relationship like this, I believe there is an unwritten constant obligation to listen to her bitch, wine, and sob about how her husband doesn't treat her well. This is common I think because the women who have affairs can build up and express so many negative things about their husbands as justification for the affair in their own mind, and feel that you should be aware of this also, ya know so you dont think they are some cheating fluzzy. I guess they dont understand that men probably like and respect cheating ladies more than cheating cheating ladies in denial that make you listen to hours of sob stories about the awful marriage.. but isnt it funny how its never awful enough for them to leave or work on ..
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is there an HR department in your company? you need to get this documented and reported as soon as fucking possible. the longer this goes on, the more likely it is to escalate to something crazier, and her behavior indicates that it could get REALLY crazy. and, as Lysis mentioned, it's possible that your best option may just be finding another job.
 
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