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married, but still thinking about sleeping with other people

G

genesis man

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 4, 2014
Messages
1
Is this normal? I love my wife. She's amazing. But I often catch myself thinking about having sex with other people. Is this normal because I'm a man? Or am I a scumbag?
 
It's okay to have fantasies. However, if it involves cheating, just make sure it stays as a fantasy and you don't actually cheat.
 
llama112 said:
It's okay to have fantasies. However, if it involves cheating, just make sure it stays as a fantasy and you don't actually cheat.
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^
You can look once(at that ass that walks by), You look twice and it's cheating(in her eyes).
 
It's normal bud. Maybe you could think of some creative ways to spice up your sexual relationship with your wife. Maybe you guys can role play and have her dress up Hot & Sexy. Do you have any sexual fetishes? Maybe you could get her to dominate you & give you a hard spanking or vice versa. I would try to eliminate masturbation and watching porn, so you can focus every ounce of sexual energy to her. Giving massages & teasing often can spice it up. And I would say having less actual intercourse could be beneficial. I'd focus more energy into foreplay & teasing. The mental aspect of sex is more stimulating.

Just having casual missionary sex too often can get old. Spice it up my bud. You're a good guy for being considerate :D
 
Teabag Johnny said:
I would try to eliminate masturbation and watching porn, so you can focus every ounce of sexual energy to her. Giving massages & teasing often can spice it up. And I would say having less actual intercourse could be beneficial. I'd focus more energy into foreplay & teasing. The mental aspect of sex is more stimulating.
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Good advice. Just playing with her skin and teasing her, physically and verbally, will get her frothing at the gash. If she's good she'll do the same to you. I find that this aspect of intimacy is more pleasurable to me than the intercourse itself because she's fucking my mind as well as my body.
 
D's said:
^
You can look once(at that ass that walks by), You look twice and it's cheating(in her eyes).
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Wait so you look at a female twice and it's cheating? Is the second look actually sex? I'm so confused.
I'd have no issues with my boyfriend checking out females. If she's hot, she's hot.... I get it. The other day, we're at a club, my boyfriend was like "wow, that girl has some nice dance moves!" so he went up to her and complimented her on them (preceding with "I have a girlfriend, not hitting on you, just wanted to say....") and that is fine. He was definitely looking at her more than once.

Eh, some people are jealous, some people aren't.
 
It's normal, but if you love and respect your partner, don't drag that fantasy into reality. (It's always better as a fantasy anyhows).
 
Its normal...you are always attracted towards people who look beautiful...and after sometime your mind is at normal state.
 
I'm not married but I've been with my gf for 8yrs and we've known Eachother 9 yrs.. We started as best friends lol from high school threw college and all ..

and I've always thought of other girls but never would act on it ..and that's the important part
 
Its all about getting attracted towards other people. Its just a matter of time and after that your mind gets refreshed (lol) and you are back to your normal life.
 
I think it's fairly normal. I fantasize about group sex, which probably equates to the same.

However, nothing would ever persuade me to cheat on her, because sex and love is mostly about loyalty to each other.
 
genesis man said:
Is this normal?
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Well, I'm sure it's quite common, if that's what you're asking.

genesis man said:
I love my wife. She's amazing. But I often catch myself thinking about having sex with other people.
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Uh-huh.

genesis man said:
Is this normal because I'm a man? Or am I a scumbag?
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You sound more like a wanker than a man. Are you a consumer of pornography by any chance?

Or maybe you want to feel wanted and your wife isn't making you feel that way. But is that because you spend your time fantasizing about others or other selfish endeavours instead of making her feel wanted?

IMO you are cheating on her in your mind. Thoughts come and go and that's ok. But if you are actively fantasizing and giving the thoughts power, that's bad. And a slippery slope towards actually doing it.

Oh and I look at women every day and appreciate their beauty. It doesn't mean I want to have sex with them, being so intimate with a stranger just seems disgusting. Every now and then some of them don't seem to understand that and they get mad. :D Whatever though, I could give a fuck what some pervert thinks about me. Well, I do kinda feel good when it makes them happy, even if they are misunderstanding me.
 
If she can handle it, and it is starting to bother you, perhaps you should be open and talk w/ your spouse about it. Exercise your judgment; perhaps it'll lead to a new level of profound intimacy in your relationship. Best of luck.
 
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