Carfentanilfreak
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2005
- Messages
- 197
Awesome experience Near Death Experience on PCP
(Mods I know this was posted in Psychedelics but I just feel it was the wrong place and there was nothing I could do to move it)
I was just wondering if any of you other drug users out there have had a near death experience on PCP? I have posted my near death experience as a text document I wrote for college in which the topic was a non fictional life changing experience. I know the attachment is kind of long but if you take the time to read it you will hear a description of the absolute most incredible experience in my life on drugs. The experience PCP gave me was by far the most frightening experience I have ever had, yet the near death experience that arose was so overwhelmingly awesome that it makes me melt in awe just thinking about it. The hell of addiction too often makes me wish I could return. Im not trying demonize drugs in this experience, but I just find it amazing that by seeing the true nature of time from a seemingly higher dimension, my experience either told me that drugs could ruin my life, or that they would. (which they have) I do not believe for two seconds that the drugs caused my mind to create this awesome experience, rather they can cause your mind to think you are dead and the higher aspect of your conciousness is revealed. I dont beleive that in the fucked up distorted state that I was in my mind could have had that kind of hallucination. As soon as my body went limp the relief from the experience was instantaneous and I knew right then and there that I knew the comfort of truth. The experience even now is incomprehensible yet I did the best I could to give a description. The problem is there are alot of religous artists out there creating NDE lies with religious intentions. My experiece to my surprise didnt involve any religious characters. I have know a couple of people that have really died, returned and had an experience exactly like mine, which best of all nearly ensures that hell is the biggest lie ever created by man. I would love to hear you all's responses especially if you have had the same experience.
Peace
---------------------------------------------------
and for all those trippers who don't want to download it :
---------------------------------------------------
English 120
23 September 2003
A Life Changing Experience
It happened my junior year of high school. All throughout high school I had always been a “preppy” student who always got good grades and made the right choices. One day in the eleventh grade, my friends Aaron and Stewart asked me if I wanted to skip lunch and hang out with them. Even though they had always seemed to be the kind of people to make stupid choices, my lunch period was not too exciting itself, and so I gladly agreed to hang out with them that day, provided that they would have me back before the tardy bell rang. It wasn’t long until we had arrived at Stewart’s house. I walked down the hall into his bedroom and was shocked to see that he was rolling a cigarette with marijuana. The scary part was, I knew they were going to want me to try it out for myself, which was something that would go against everything I had been taught.
As excited as Aaron and Stewart were, we made our way into the backyard. The house looked old and was connected to a chain link fence that surrounded the backyard. The yard was filled with weeds and a large tree in the middle. Stewart led us to a shed in the backyard that had lawn chairs in it. As I walked toward the shed, even the looks of it were intimidating. The small shed had an odor of gasoline and was just big enough to fit in three lawn chairs.
Aaron lit the cigarette, inhaled deeply and passed it to Stewart. Stewart took a less deep inhalation and passed it to me. This was it. All throughout my childhood I had had promised myself that I would never even try the rotten stuff once. With my recent interest in psychology, a strong feeling of curiosity, and the result of a little peer pressure, I decided I would give it a try. After all, it was interesting seeing other people affected by marijuana. I held it up to my lips and started taking the deepest breath I possibly could to try to show up my friends. This seemed ineffective so I took another drag as hard as I possibly could. Something was wrong though; the second breath had a strong chemical taste in it that wasn’t normal in the regular marijuana plant material. Holding the breath in as long as I could, my body eventually revolted heavily with the worst coughing and nauseating sensation I have ever had.
Stewart started blurting out, “Don’t die on us now!”
I laughed heavily, “Nothing is even happening to me.” I began noticing that my friends were already a bit intoxicated. After all, what was the big deal? I had inhaled much more deeply than any of my friends and I was fine.
“It will probably hit you like a ton of bricks,” Aaron added.
I had always thought that the material world outside was concrete and it did not matter what you did to your mind: there would always be a material reality to rely on outside my body. Then it hit me like a thousand freight trains of pure darkness so hard I couldn’t realize what was going on. The darkness I fell into felt like a deathly unconsciousness so much darker than the color black that it could not even be imagined. My body then suddenly felt as if I was stuck in a plaster cast. When I would try to move it would take every bit of effort I had and then the “cast” would harden again. The colors of everything around me were spectacularly brighter, and every split second of time had stretched to what felt like an eternity. The fabric of reality had been torn apart, and I was thrown into the worst panic of my life.
I slammed open the door to the shed and ran outside to see what was wrong with the world. It was horrible. Every bit of movement was comparable to that of a strobe light, only a million times slower. I was thrown into this awful state, and yet my mind was too jumbled up to know how I ended up that way. As I glared back at the shed, I was trying to tell my intoxicated friends that something was wrong. Their eyes, however, told me that they were in no condition to help me, which only made things worse. As I walked back toward the shed, I was surprised to find that it was painless when I started punching myself in the head as hard as I could because I knew that something was wrong with my head. A startled look struck my friends’ faces as they glared at me like I was a zombie out of control. We then ended up going inside so I could sit on the couch and attempt to relax, as I was feeling a bit drowsy in this paralyzing stupor. I felt as if I had spent a year outside and looked on my watch to find out it had only been three minutes! My body felt distorted. Not only did I feel much like I was paralyzed, but at times my arm might feel as if it were ten miles long, three feet thick, or that my head was the size of a bean. My friends would try to talk some sense into me, but all that I heard was an echo I could not understand. At this point I accepted the fact that I would probably die and remain in this awful state of consciousness for eternity.
Then suddenly something happened to me that I could hardly begin to describe. The echoing of my friends’ voices and the distortions of my body started becoming more and more distant as a radiant white light started permeating my vision field. It came suddenly, and all of my suffering ceased as I was in a bright white light that was so much more brilliant and pure than the brightest color of burning magnesium. A warm feeling of peace suddenly washed over me. I started hearing music that was so beautiful; it immediately eased my every fear of the possibility of spending eternity in this place. The beauty of the melody I heard was incomprehensible to the human mind, but the only way I can describe it is that it had the sound of a pipe organ, an oboe, and a million angel voices that reverberated throughout the vastness of this peaceful white realm of light. My soul trembled as my ego started to feel as if it were dissolving to become part of something so much greater than myself. This whole time I felt as if I was returning to a place I had known before my birth. Despite my family’s religion, beyond my life I had known all along that I would return to this wonderful place when I died.
I had completely lost the feeling of my body and I had backed away from all of my distorted senses. Time was something I had transcended for I could see it for the illusion it really was. The only comprehendible way I can describe it, is that my life appeared before me like a timeline I could experience all at once. I felt at peace, and nothing I could have ever done in my life would have sent me to hell, despite the other beliefs in the world. The white light and music started making me feel as if there was a Being of pure love and infinite forgiveness that had a message for me. The odd yet magnificent thing about it was that the Being communicated to me in a way that gave me total understanding, unlike language we earthly humans use. As my whole life appeared before my eyes, the Being started making a certain part of my life stand out. I began to see the event in which I had inhaled the contaminated marijuana as hard as I could. The Being then showed me what I had done to cause an early end to my life. Even though I had made a stupid choice that would end my life, I would get to spend an eternity in this wonderful place; yet I realized that life had had a special opportunity and that life had been filled with purpose.
Soon the white light and beautiful music began to fade as the echoing sounds and distant images of my friends began to return. The feeling was somewhat uncomfortable to have to leave the state that I was in. My friends had been pulling on my arms, hitting me as hard as they could, and doing anything else they could to wake me up. After I was finally “awakened”, I completely returned to the suffering, distorted, paralyzing state of mind I had gotten myself into.
It was time to leave Stewart’s house even though school was already over. They drove me to my house that I was hardly able to recognize, and I was finally able to fall asleep on the couch. Later I woke up in a much more sober state and started to question what had been going on earlier. I was surprised when I had almost completely forgotten about the life-changing event I had experienced that day. It was not too unlike the way a person can completely forget about a dream, even though the experience had been more real than the waking life
It was not long until my parents came home asking me why I had not been at school for them to pick me up. I knew then that I would have a story to tell.
As bad of a choice as it had been to experiment with marijuana, I had no idea that the marijuana I experimented with had actually been mixed with PCP. The choice I had made to try something stupid for the first time was not only a result of my interest in psychology, but a consequence of curiosity as well.
Ever since this has happened to me, not only have I completely lost a fear of death, but I have gained a completely new outlook on my life and the purpose of my life-and of course, I learned not to make destructive decisions, such as trying new things that can have permanent consequences.
(Mods I know this was posted in Psychedelics but I just feel it was the wrong place and there was nothing I could do to move it)
I was just wondering if any of you other drug users out there have had a near death experience on PCP? I have posted my near death experience as a text document I wrote for college in which the topic was a non fictional life changing experience. I know the attachment is kind of long but if you take the time to read it you will hear a description of the absolute most incredible experience in my life on drugs. The experience PCP gave me was by far the most frightening experience I have ever had, yet the near death experience that arose was so overwhelmingly awesome that it makes me melt in awe just thinking about it. The hell of addiction too often makes me wish I could return. Im not trying demonize drugs in this experience, but I just find it amazing that by seeing the true nature of time from a seemingly higher dimension, my experience either told me that drugs could ruin my life, or that they would. (which they have) I do not believe for two seconds that the drugs caused my mind to create this awesome experience, rather they can cause your mind to think you are dead and the higher aspect of your conciousness is revealed. I dont beleive that in the fucked up distorted state that I was in my mind could have had that kind of hallucination. As soon as my body went limp the relief from the experience was instantaneous and I knew right then and there that I knew the comfort of truth. The experience even now is incomprehensible yet I did the best I could to give a description. The problem is there are alot of religous artists out there creating NDE lies with religious intentions. My experiece to my surprise didnt involve any religious characters. I have know a couple of people that have really died, returned and had an experience exactly like mine, which best of all nearly ensures that hell is the biggest lie ever created by man. I would love to hear you all's responses especially if you have had the same experience.
Peace
---------------------------------------------------
and for all those trippers who don't want to download it :
---------------------------------------------------
English 120
23 September 2003
A Life Changing Experience
It happened my junior year of high school. All throughout high school I had always been a “preppy” student who always got good grades and made the right choices. One day in the eleventh grade, my friends Aaron and Stewart asked me if I wanted to skip lunch and hang out with them. Even though they had always seemed to be the kind of people to make stupid choices, my lunch period was not too exciting itself, and so I gladly agreed to hang out with them that day, provided that they would have me back before the tardy bell rang. It wasn’t long until we had arrived at Stewart’s house. I walked down the hall into his bedroom and was shocked to see that he was rolling a cigarette with marijuana. The scary part was, I knew they were going to want me to try it out for myself, which was something that would go against everything I had been taught.
As excited as Aaron and Stewart were, we made our way into the backyard. The house looked old and was connected to a chain link fence that surrounded the backyard. The yard was filled with weeds and a large tree in the middle. Stewart led us to a shed in the backyard that had lawn chairs in it. As I walked toward the shed, even the looks of it were intimidating. The small shed had an odor of gasoline and was just big enough to fit in three lawn chairs.
Aaron lit the cigarette, inhaled deeply and passed it to Stewart. Stewart took a less deep inhalation and passed it to me. This was it. All throughout my childhood I had had promised myself that I would never even try the rotten stuff once. With my recent interest in psychology, a strong feeling of curiosity, and the result of a little peer pressure, I decided I would give it a try. After all, it was interesting seeing other people affected by marijuana. I held it up to my lips and started taking the deepest breath I possibly could to try to show up my friends. This seemed ineffective so I took another drag as hard as I possibly could. Something was wrong though; the second breath had a strong chemical taste in it that wasn’t normal in the regular marijuana plant material. Holding the breath in as long as I could, my body eventually revolted heavily with the worst coughing and nauseating sensation I have ever had.
Stewart started blurting out, “Don’t die on us now!”
I laughed heavily, “Nothing is even happening to me.” I began noticing that my friends were already a bit intoxicated. After all, what was the big deal? I had inhaled much more deeply than any of my friends and I was fine.
“It will probably hit you like a ton of bricks,” Aaron added.
I had always thought that the material world outside was concrete and it did not matter what you did to your mind: there would always be a material reality to rely on outside my body. Then it hit me like a thousand freight trains of pure darkness so hard I couldn’t realize what was going on. The darkness I fell into felt like a deathly unconsciousness so much darker than the color black that it could not even be imagined. My body then suddenly felt as if I was stuck in a plaster cast. When I would try to move it would take every bit of effort I had and then the “cast” would harden again. The colors of everything around me were spectacularly brighter, and every split second of time had stretched to what felt like an eternity. The fabric of reality had been torn apart, and I was thrown into the worst panic of my life.
I slammed open the door to the shed and ran outside to see what was wrong with the world. It was horrible. Every bit of movement was comparable to that of a strobe light, only a million times slower. I was thrown into this awful state, and yet my mind was too jumbled up to know how I ended up that way. As I glared back at the shed, I was trying to tell my intoxicated friends that something was wrong. Their eyes, however, told me that they were in no condition to help me, which only made things worse. As I walked back toward the shed, I was surprised to find that it was painless when I started punching myself in the head as hard as I could because I knew that something was wrong with my head. A startled look struck my friends’ faces as they glared at me like I was a zombie out of control. We then ended up going inside so I could sit on the couch and attempt to relax, as I was feeling a bit drowsy in this paralyzing stupor. I felt as if I had spent a year outside and looked on my watch to find out it had only been three minutes! My body felt distorted. Not only did I feel much like I was paralyzed, but at times my arm might feel as if it were ten miles long, three feet thick, or that my head was the size of a bean. My friends would try to talk some sense into me, but all that I heard was an echo I could not understand. At this point I accepted the fact that I would probably die and remain in this awful state of consciousness for eternity.
Then suddenly something happened to me that I could hardly begin to describe. The echoing of my friends’ voices and the distortions of my body started becoming more and more distant as a radiant white light started permeating my vision field. It came suddenly, and all of my suffering ceased as I was in a bright white light that was so much more brilliant and pure than the brightest color of burning magnesium. A warm feeling of peace suddenly washed over me. I started hearing music that was so beautiful; it immediately eased my every fear of the possibility of spending eternity in this place. The beauty of the melody I heard was incomprehensible to the human mind, but the only way I can describe it is that it had the sound of a pipe organ, an oboe, and a million angel voices that reverberated throughout the vastness of this peaceful white realm of light. My soul trembled as my ego started to feel as if it were dissolving to become part of something so much greater than myself. This whole time I felt as if I was returning to a place I had known before my birth. Despite my family’s religion, beyond my life I had known all along that I would return to this wonderful place when I died.
I had completely lost the feeling of my body and I had backed away from all of my distorted senses. Time was something I had transcended for I could see it for the illusion it really was. The only comprehendible way I can describe it, is that my life appeared before me like a timeline I could experience all at once. I felt at peace, and nothing I could have ever done in my life would have sent me to hell, despite the other beliefs in the world. The white light and music started making me feel as if there was a Being of pure love and infinite forgiveness that had a message for me. The odd yet magnificent thing about it was that the Being communicated to me in a way that gave me total understanding, unlike language we earthly humans use. As my whole life appeared before my eyes, the Being started making a certain part of my life stand out. I began to see the event in which I had inhaled the contaminated marijuana as hard as I could. The Being then showed me what I had done to cause an early end to my life. Even though I had made a stupid choice that would end my life, I would get to spend an eternity in this wonderful place; yet I realized that life had had a special opportunity and that life had been filled with purpose.
Soon the white light and beautiful music began to fade as the echoing sounds and distant images of my friends began to return. The feeling was somewhat uncomfortable to have to leave the state that I was in. My friends had been pulling on my arms, hitting me as hard as they could, and doing anything else they could to wake me up. After I was finally “awakened”, I completely returned to the suffering, distorted, paralyzing state of mind I had gotten myself into.
It was time to leave Stewart’s house even though school was already over. They drove me to my house that I was hardly able to recognize, and I was finally able to fall asleep on the couch. Later I woke up in a much more sober state and started to question what had been going on earlier. I was surprised when I had almost completely forgotten about the life-changing event I had experienced that day. It was not too unlike the way a person can completely forget about a dream, even though the experience had been more real than the waking life
It was not long until my parents came home asking me why I had not been at school for them to pick me up. I knew then that I would have a story to tell.
As bad of a choice as it had been to experiment with marijuana, I had no idea that the marijuana I experimented with had actually been mixed with PCP. The choice I had made to try something stupid for the first time was not only a result of my interest in psychology, but a consequence of curiosity as well.
Ever since this has happened to me, not only have I completely lost a fear of death, but I have gained a completely new outlook on my life and the purpose of my life-and of course, I learned not to make destructive decisions, such as trying new things that can have permanent consequences.
Last edited by a moderator:
