asmodeus256
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2002
- Messages
- 2,646
Note: This occured at a party a few weeks ago, where my friend pulled out a bag of weed and asked if I wanted some and I emphatically said, "Yes." ... I don't really know the time course of this experience but I think it all happened within a few hours. I had a few beers before smoking... but I don't think that effected me much. I wrote this not long after the experience... and it is a bit jumbled... but it details my experience very well.
I don't really like smoking weed because it makes me very analytical and paranoid... but I decided to go with it. He gave me a Sobe bong hit... which is a whole bowl of smoke compacted into a small area... which is taken in one hit. They told me I'd get fucked up on it... and I wasn't sure what to expect. It hit me rather quick... and now here is where the fun part of the story begins...
I was in the kitchen... listening to a story a girl was telling. She was talking about how she gets high with her professors... as I was listening, I began to examine her very closely. I was looking at her body language, her thick make-up on her face, the way she was talking... and I realized that she didn't really enjoy talking about what she was talking about, but it got her attention and made her feel like she fit in. Then I started to see her as fake... her make-up became a plastic mask... hiding her real face and her true emotions.
It was at this point that I realized that I needed to go upstairs and find a dark room to curl up in.
As I was walking upstairs... I realized I was flipping through layers of reality in a verticle turnstyle motion (much like how the old Rolodex's work). Occasionally I would land on this physical reality... just long enough to pee, and splash my face with some water. Then I crawled into a bedroom and turned the light out and sat on the floor. I could feel my heart racing in my body... I'm thinking the loud, fast paced music helped to accelerate my heart rate. I felt like I was spiraling through levels of realities and I need to hold onto something 'real' and calm myself down... so I began counting softly... 1...2...3... etc. I did that for a while and calmed myself down somewhat.
It was very much like an out of body experience... because I could see myself like i was outside myself... and I couldn't see myself as a whole... only my skeletal structure. I then laid down and began to think.
I really did feel like I was spiriling out... and I needed again to hold onto something from this physical realm. So i started to think of concepts... civilization and people being the most important. Because at the time I felt like nothing was real. For most of this I was in a dark room... so my visual perception was not very strong (but at one point i did flip open my cell phone and gazed into the white light... much like i was falling into a star).
However... the music continued to play downstairs... and I was 100% linked to the music... when it was calm and mellow.. i was... when it was fast and thumpy... i was. I could swear that as I was thinking about civilizations and how people are not just constructs... a song was playing where the work 'civilazation' was repeating over and over again.
As I was going through this journey of the mind... I realized where i was going and where I had been. I was heading back down to my physical body... and I was coming from infinity. I believe that I experienced infinity.
Then I started to try to think of familiar faces and names... specifically my name... and Jen's name (a very good friend of mine). I could hear people talking outside of the door, but I couldn't understand any words intially... but when words started to creep in through the garble. It felt like people were talking and asking about me.. "He's a really cool guy." "Where did he go?"... and so forth... it was like they were trying to call me back.
Somewhere around there I had a vision of a continuum... an endless cascade of light... in which i was flowing down... there were many small points of light... some brighter than others... and I took this to mean each point of light was a person... I could feel myself as a point of light falling and searching through these points... I think I was looking for my friends... and my physical place on this earth.
Then I began to think of my family... and home... and people that I love. I feel this helped me to center myself better. I even thought of the connection I share with my friend Shayna... and I'm sure that her energy helped to bring me back.
Around this time... I began to see people as real. And almost on cue... my friend Cali walked in the door. She appeared at exactly the right time so as to make me not feel alone... and not long after that my friend Brian walked in the room. He asked if i was gonna crash there... I said yes... he said it wasn't a problem... because the room would be empty. This felt really good... because it felt like there were other people that have felt what I was going through.. and it's like they were saying "It's okay... you don't have to be afraid... go with it... and you don't have to stop or leave."
It was a truely amazing moment...
At some point I must have fallen asleep... It seemed like this lasted forever... but it probably only spanned within an hour or so... time dilation was enormous. I think I feel asleep between 3:30 AM and 4 AM.
I woke up around 9 AM and went downstairs... Cali and Brian were the only ones left. They were smoking shisha... so I joined then and we chatted for a while. i left around 10 or 10:30 AM.
For the rest of the day (and the day after) I was in one of the best moods of my life. Everything seemed to feel so good.
As i was going through this... my mind was analyzing it and contemplating it.
Here are a few things I felt:
We are all part of an infinite network... a One Being... and we reside in physical bodies for a short amount of time. Through death... meditation... or drugs... we circumvent the physical aspect and reach our true spiritual nature. Thats what I think happened... I went back into the infinite fold for a short amount of time... and I had to make my way back.
Now you might ask... "all this... with only weed???" Yes... thats true... I did have 3 beers... but i dont think that did much. But it was a lot of weed smoke in a short amount of time... and i certainly did have altered perception. Plus I'm already a very perceptive person... so I'm not surprised that I was able to tap into this with such a standardly benign drug.
I really can't put into words what I felt and experienced... but it certainly was a spiritual breakthrough. This has affirmed many things that i've felt before. Life truely is beautiful... we are here only for a short time... so we should enjoy it while we are here.
Another thing I was thinking is that all religions, spiritual practices, even non-spiritual practices are designed to bring us back to the infinity. Each religion takes it from a different point of view... but in the end it is all the same. Even using drugs and having sex is the same way... drugs alter our mind to let us experience that... and sex releases emotions and chemicals much in the same way as drugs to make us feel good... and make us feel like we belong and are going back.
Going back to the infinity of the universe... the infinity of "God" (however you define it). Things in this physical life have no adverse bearing on infinity... there is no Hell where our souls are damned because of things we did or did not do. Everyone takes his or her place back in the fold of the infinite.
The hardest part about this experience was considering if it was real or i was just 'high' and imagining it. I told Jen about it (she's not much of a spiritual or religious person) and she said that she would have probably dismissed it and said I was 'high'... but didn't only because of the fact I was rather sure of it. That's really the frightening thing... I went through this... but I was hesistant to tell people about it because I didn't want to be labeled as a freak or a nutjob or anything of that sort. I'm sure you wont do that... this is why I wrote you this email... because i feel comfortable talking about this to you. Jen is my best friend... and I can tell her anything... anything that happens on this physical realm that is... because she is still 'asleep' and doesn't want to wake up and see things for how they really are.
Thats another thing I realized... most people are asleep in a metaphorical sense. They live their lives with their head down... and never look up to see the big picture. I've always had a mind for what's beyond... and this is the first step in a journey that I know will bring me peace.
I don't really like smoking weed because it makes me very analytical and paranoid... but I decided to go with it. He gave me a Sobe bong hit... which is a whole bowl of smoke compacted into a small area... which is taken in one hit. They told me I'd get fucked up on it... and I wasn't sure what to expect. It hit me rather quick... and now here is where the fun part of the story begins...
I was in the kitchen... listening to a story a girl was telling. She was talking about how she gets high with her professors... as I was listening, I began to examine her very closely. I was looking at her body language, her thick make-up on her face, the way she was talking... and I realized that she didn't really enjoy talking about what she was talking about, but it got her attention and made her feel like she fit in. Then I started to see her as fake... her make-up became a plastic mask... hiding her real face and her true emotions.
It was at this point that I realized that I needed to go upstairs and find a dark room to curl up in.
As I was walking upstairs... I realized I was flipping through layers of reality in a verticle turnstyle motion (much like how the old Rolodex's work). Occasionally I would land on this physical reality... just long enough to pee, and splash my face with some water. Then I crawled into a bedroom and turned the light out and sat on the floor. I could feel my heart racing in my body... I'm thinking the loud, fast paced music helped to accelerate my heart rate. I felt like I was spiraling through levels of realities and I need to hold onto something 'real' and calm myself down... so I began counting softly... 1...2...3... etc. I did that for a while and calmed myself down somewhat.
It was very much like an out of body experience... because I could see myself like i was outside myself... and I couldn't see myself as a whole... only my skeletal structure. I then laid down and began to think.
I really did feel like I was spiriling out... and I needed again to hold onto something from this physical realm. So i started to think of concepts... civilization and people being the most important. Because at the time I felt like nothing was real. For most of this I was in a dark room... so my visual perception was not very strong (but at one point i did flip open my cell phone and gazed into the white light... much like i was falling into a star).
However... the music continued to play downstairs... and I was 100% linked to the music... when it was calm and mellow.. i was... when it was fast and thumpy... i was. I could swear that as I was thinking about civilizations and how people are not just constructs... a song was playing where the work 'civilazation' was repeating over and over again.
As I was going through this journey of the mind... I realized where i was going and where I had been. I was heading back down to my physical body... and I was coming from infinity. I believe that I experienced infinity.
Then I started to try to think of familiar faces and names... specifically my name... and Jen's name (a very good friend of mine). I could hear people talking outside of the door, but I couldn't understand any words intially... but when words started to creep in through the garble. It felt like people were talking and asking about me.. "He's a really cool guy." "Where did he go?"... and so forth... it was like they were trying to call me back.
Somewhere around there I had a vision of a continuum... an endless cascade of light... in which i was flowing down... there were many small points of light... some brighter than others... and I took this to mean each point of light was a person... I could feel myself as a point of light falling and searching through these points... I think I was looking for my friends... and my physical place on this earth.
Then I began to think of my family... and home... and people that I love. I feel this helped me to center myself better. I even thought of the connection I share with my friend Shayna... and I'm sure that her energy helped to bring me back.
Around this time... I began to see people as real. And almost on cue... my friend Cali walked in the door. She appeared at exactly the right time so as to make me not feel alone... and not long after that my friend Brian walked in the room. He asked if i was gonna crash there... I said yes... he said it wasn't a problem... because the room would be empty. This felt really good... because it felt like there were other people that have felt what I was going through.. and it's like they were saying "It's okay... you don't have to be afraid... go with it... and you don't have to stop or leave."
It was a truely amazing moment...
At some point I must have fallen asleep... It seemed like this lasted forever... but it probably only spanned within an hour or so... time dilation was enormous. I think I feel asleep between 3:30 AM and 4 AM.
I woke up around 9 AM and went downstairs... Cali and Brian were the only ones left. They were smoking shisha... so I joined then and we chatted for a while. i left around 10 or 10:30 AM.
For the rest of the day (and the day after) I was in one of the best moods of my life. Everything seemed to feel so good.
As i was going through this... my mind was analyzing it and contemplating it.
Here are a few things I felt:
We are all part of an infinite network... a One Being... and we reside in physical bodies for a short amount of time. Through death... meditation... or drugs... we circumvent the physical aspect and reach our true spiritual nature. Thats what I think happened... I went back into the infinite fold for a short amount of time... and I had to make my way back.
Now you might ask... "all this... with only weed???" Yes... thats true... I did have 3 beers... but i dont think that did much. But it was a lot of weed smoke in a short amount of time... and i certainly did have altered perception. Plus I'm already a very perceptive person... so I'm not surprised that I was able to tap into this with such a standardly benign drug.
I really can't put into words what I felt and experienced... but it certainly was a spiritual breakthrough. This has affirmed many things that i've felt before. Life truely is beautiful... we are here only for a short time... so we should enjoy it while we are here.
Another thing I was thinking is that all religions, spiritual practices, even non-spiritual practices are designed to bring us back to the infinity. Each religion takes it from a different point of view... but in the end it is all the same. Even using drugs and having sex is the same way... drugs alter our mind to let us experience that... and sex releases emotions and chemicals much in the same way as drugs to make us feel good... and make us feel like we belong and are going back.
Going back to the infinity of the universe... the infinity of "God" (however you define it). Things in this physical life have no adverse bearing on infinity... there is no Hell where our souls are damned because of things we did or did not do. Everyone takes his or her place back in the fold of the infinite.
The hardest part about this experience was considering if it was real or i was just 'high' and imagining it. I told Jen about it (she's not much of a spiritual or religious person) and she said that she would have probably dismissed it and said I was 'high'... but didn't only because of the fact I was rather sure of it. That's really the frightening thing... I went through this... but I was hesistant to tell people about it because I didn't want to be labeled as a freak or a nutjob or anything of that sort. I'm sure you wont do that... this is why I wrote you this email... because i feel comfortable talking about this to you. Jen is my best friend... and I can tell her anything... anything that happens on this physical realm that is... because she is still 'asleep' and doesn't want to wake up and see things for how they really are.
Thats another thing I realized... most people are asleep in a metaphorical sense. They live their lives with their head down... and never look up to see the big picture. I've always had a mind for what's beyond... and this is the first step in a journey that I know will bring me peace.
