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March Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread

bptubbs said:
Feel ya there man, I need to remember to do that more often. Ya know give myself a bit of a pep talk.
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The divine source is within each and everyone of us. Waiting to be sought out and activated. Call it God, the third eye, whatever you wish.. divinity is the calm gentle voice of reason that wishes to set us free from ego and connect us to our fellow man and nature in a seamless web of source. The fountain that keeps on giving... Seek and you shall find. It's not what we have been led to believe. I believe God is within each and everyone of us. Excuse the concept and ignore the word God if it offends you for my concept of God is of a universal source of life energy and abundance..... Speak and it speaks back...ignore the dark that seeks to destroy and bathe in the light of the voice of life. I know... I'm out there but it has been a long journey for a restless, tattered soul to find such peace.

Mornings and night are for excercise, meditation, prayer and AFFIRMATION...

Much love from Somniland my fellow brother in arms sir Tubbsy.
 
somnilicious said:
What's up everyone.. 10yrs, aihfl, captain, Eric, simco rdhp ladyhlove and anybody else I missed. Rooting for you guys. I had a horrible blow out on my birthday but I am currently dtoxing a small habit with Zubsolv. I also have naltrexone to take after the zubs. I know I have to wait like 5 days after my sub dose but I am resolute. I always have the problem of coming home to my roommate using and fail by proxy. The naltrexone will give me a safety net untill I can find a better situation. Love u guys and I'm cheering for you 10yrs... Hoping the subs work for you sweetheart.
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hope you are doing well! glad to know you're still alive :)

I have a few years clean (I occasionally have a beer or two, and I still use cannabis/shatter, occasionally psychedelics, that's it).
 
Over two months without opiates, three weeks without other drugs and two and half weeks without my fiancee...
 
Not exactly but it is getting better.

We were about to go to long-term rehab together but instead I find myself going there on my own as she didn't want to stop using her DOCs yet and we had a huge argument which lead into break up.

Luckily today she called me that she was going to detox to get rid of the benzos and lyrica and we have started to discuss getting back together.

I am pretty much in a psychological mess due our break up but it has been getting better every day. Now I have mixed emotions about maybe getting back together so I still have some rough stuff to deal emotionally.

That is why I have been absent for a while.
 
I can definitely relate to feeling emotionally down and even confusing. Some days are better but others just make me doubt if it will be okay at the end. I believe that as we progress in our rehabilitation things obviously get better. For me the problem was always into creating lots of expectations.

I need to feel hopeful but when our best and almost realistic expectations are not met it feels pretty tiring at times.

I hope you feel better and happy soon. Sometimes our heart issues can be tougher than the other problems. It really messes things to another level.

My hopes that you be well!
 
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Im not sure yet as we have been talking today about being together again in the future if we both can abstain atleast from daily use of any drug.
 
Somni, glad you are giving yoga a go. I got out of the habit during my roughly four month relapse, but went this morning (only time I am able to go all week). Not nearly as strong or flexible as I was at the end of last summer, but I can get there again. Honestly, I thought my gym membership had lapsed which is why I wasn't going - and oh yeah, being unconscious through a lot of that four months probably had something to do with it too 8(

MrRoot, I am glad to hear you are doing what you need to do for yourself. I hope you get what you need out of the program you are in.
 
MrRoot said:
Im not sure yet as we have been talking today about being together again in the future if we both can abstain atleast from daily use of any drug.
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taking the time to work on yourselves is a good idea man

you both sound very mature
 
MrRoot said:
Im not sure yet as we have been talking today about being together again in the future if we both can abstain atleast from daily use of any drug.
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My heart aches in concert with yours MR :(
(((((<3)))))

You're a strong fucking dude, pls try and keep your head up. Can't be easy...
 
RDP89 said:
Thanks! Yeah, I have to do that sometimes. That and just remembering to think of the bigger picture and the goals I'm working toward. And how much better I am mentally and physically clean and sober. I just hate being such a negative doom and gloom person. I'm so quick to be like "everything's fucked". I'm trying to change that, and honestly I probably need to be on some kinda medication.
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Hey man. Congrats on the 19 days! Thats fantastic. A word about medication - have you felt like that during *significant* periods of sobriety or just early on in recovery? Just because for me personally and I'm sure most of us were we to explain our symptoms to a psychiatrist that we go through in early recovery without providing the context then I'm sure we'd leave with one or a handful of diagnoses, none of which are valid cos our brains are just fucked from stopping drugs. Hope you feel better soon anyway :)

Five days off cigarettes & heroin & crack for me, but it's been remarkably easy because I'm on 4mg bupe and vaping instead, but this is a damn sight healthier, and though total abstinence is my end goal I know if it weren't for the bupe I'd still be shooting smack and smoking crack and without this vape I'd still be smoking 20 a day so gotta keep things in perspective - feeling much better than this time last week!
 
Yeah, I've only ever been diagnosed ADD and that as in second grade. I do have more depression, lack of motivation and energy, mild attention problems even off Al drugs. Then again, the longest I've ever been off everything is 60 days. So yeah, I'm definitely giving myself time to see how I am in long term sobriety. And I am definitely wary of Psychiatrists, so much so that in the past I've just done my own research on psych meds and obtained them and dosed myself whenever I've gone that route, lol. Congrats on your sobriety too, wish you the best!
 
RDP89 said:
Yeah, I've only ever been diagnosed ADD and that as in second grade. I do have more depression, lack of motivation and energy, mild attention problems even off Al drugs. Then again, the longest I've ever been off everything is 60 days. So yeah, I'm definitely giving myself time to see how I am in long term sobriety. And I am definitely wary of Psychiatrists, so much so that in the past I've just done my own research on psych meds and obtained them and dosed myself whenever I've gone that route, lol. Congrats on your sobriety too, wish you the best!
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60 days definitely isn't long enough to get any kind of reasonable picture of your true mental health, your brain would still be in the process of rewiring and so you'd probably exhibit the symptoms of mental illness/personality disorders but it would just be your brain fixing itself. I'd wait a year before deciding psych meds were the answer.
 
So this is weird.

I got paid Friday. Today is Monday, and I still have money in the bank AND a little cash in my pocket. And I haven't stolen or pawned anything.

What's that shit about?

Peace&Love,
jasper
 
My brain needs rewiring so badly. 9 days off suboxone, so there's that. 30+ days since oxy. That's good. Day zero of kratom cessation. Not good.
 
jasperkent said:
So this is weird.

I got paid Friday. Today is Monday, and I still have money in the bank AND a little cash in my pocket. And I haven't stolen or pawned anything.

What's that shit about?

Peace&Love,
jasper
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howdy, I believe I remember you jasperkent

hope you are well <3
 
jasperkent said:
So this is weird.

I got paid Friday. Today is Monday, and I still have money in the bank AND a little cash in my pocket. And I haven't stolen or pawned anything.

What's that shit about?

Peace&Love,
jasper
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Welcome to my world, make 1/5th what I used to, and have more money left on payday.
 
3rd day no Suboxone after taking 2 5.7 Zubsolv 2 days to end my last little heroin run. Smoked a little pot and took a little phenibut earlier today. Now I have the next 2 days off, which I will spend relaxing at the beach, reading, smoking and then perhaps a theater in the PM to use a gift card I have. Going to buy a bike to ride down the beach in the mornings and enjoy my new freedom from opiates and the money saved
 
aihfl said:
Somni, glad you are giving yoga a go. I got out of the habit during my roughly four month relapse, but went this morning (only time I am able to go all week). Not nearly as strong or flexible as I was at the end of last summer, but I can get there again. Honestly, I thought my gym membership had lapsed which is why I wasn't going - and oh yeah, being unconscious through a lot of that four months probably had something to do with it too 8(

MrRoot, I am glad to hear you are doing what you need to do for yourself. I hope you get what you need out of the program you are in.
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Glad youre doing better after your DUI relapse. I'm just now sobering up again after a short heroin relapse. I have decided to let myself smoke pot during this next recovery go. It does me a lot of good to have it as a form of entertainment and brief escape..

Also a response to Captain heroin.. thanks for your years of posting as your name has been that of a companion in this process of addiction and recovery over the years. I am allowing myself the pot luxury as well this recovery go around..
 
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