Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2008
- Messages
- 94,868
I od'd on oxycodone a couple of days ago. The person I was with kept me awake, stopped me choking on my own vomit. I was puking for 36 hours. Kept nodding out too hard..the usual od crap. Of course no one would get medical help, I really thought it was the end.
I am done. I had kicked h and oxy, was my first relapse after 10 days straight cold turkey. I don't want to die. I'm too old for this, my body can't take it Fuck I just want my kids to love me again.
My boyfriend's response to I'm done was "yeah right, till next time".
I just want to be me again, but I don't know if there is a me left without opiates now.
I'm glad you survived, and I hope this has strengthened your resolve to stay clean.
damn, Bottleofsun, that was shitty what your boyfriend said to you. even if it takes multiple tries to do it, you will shake this, and i bet you'll find that you're still very much intact and present. everyone reading this thread has your back.
I don't think it was shitty, it's probably how he really feels. When you're not an addict, and you're in a relationship to someone who is, it's very frustrating, and you begin to realize they'll never break free of their chains, or the odds of them ever doing so are so slim to none that optimism is foolish to present to the other person.
I do believe that the partner should be supportive though, and perhaps bottleofsun would fare better being single while trying to stay clean.