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March Getting Clean Thread v. If I can do it, you can too!

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Cool post Evel.

You remind me that it is important to be able to demonstrate concrete progress on the path of whatever challenges us, as opposed to living in our imaginary ideas of progress.

I have been keeping a detailed log of my dosage, and from it I can see that it is pretty easy to fool myself into thinking I'm making progress, when in fact, a brief look at the numbers shows that I have to try harder.

Today I really felt like shit when I woke up. I could barely get downstairs to take my medicine and then lay on the couch for an hour. I sure hope that tapering pays off in the end by softening the acutes when I jump off. Otherwise all this sickness and pain for weeks will have been for naught.
 
i got 2 months and 8 days sober off all opiates except suboxone but in regards to suboxone, im prescribed 8mgs a day and im only taking 2mgs 2X a day and i feel fine off that. i also will be celebrating 90 days of no alcohol on tuesday the 25th. feels good.

I still smoke weed and occasionally order small amounts of etizolam. I can eliminate the etiz if i have to, nbd. but the weed is a hard one and my counselor told me if my medicaid wants to know why ive been getting subs while pissing dirty for weeds and that they want to stop covering it then they will just tell them that we are adddressing the problem then ill stop immediately.

i told my counselor i should stop before that happens but now that i know they wont immediately terminate me it makes me wanna push the limits. she agrees that alot of people would think that way. i told her weed just mellows me out and i dont have as much anxiety, sleep good, have an appetite. I did tell her i gotta slow down a bit so i guess i might try to cut my consumption downa bit soon.

i plan on storing away like 45 strips of subs and make em last 3 months. my 3 months of subs at IOP are up in like 2 weeks but i have proof to my counselor that im on 4 waiting lists for docs so shes gonna keep giving them to me every week. i only use 3.5 a week and get 7 so if i stay there for another month or 2 ill just drop the sub program and do only counseling and groups at my own will but still take subs. its a lot of restrictions but i cant make it there 3 sometimes 4X a week so i just gotta gather some subs. i wanna hop off in 3 months, maybe less but im not goiing to that program for that long doing a piss test every week at rando, so i gotta stockpile my own and just go as a regular outpatient client.

idk, ill figure something out but thats where im at so far.
 
Got my wisdoms out yesterday had a chance to get pain meds and decided to play it safe and just take motrin. Going on 6 months clean/sober im not trying to risk that slippery slope..

Im moving back to Columbus tomorrow, my hometown. Its where i did all my using and partying, and i don't have much of a support group there so im low key nervous.. i plan on hitting meetings daily, starting a strict workout regiment and i plan to spend most of my time w/ family or at work.

I hope everyone is doing alright. one moment one hour one day at a time.
 
Hiya TheAgnostic. Well done on six clean. That's really ace. And you did good in not getting those pain meds - so hats off to you.
I like your thinking in going to meetings, if they're for you. Please come here for support too if it helps you, whatever helps keep on with it. The move may be a test for you but I think you can do it as long as you are honest with yourself n keep up the support ie meetings n what-not.

All the best,
Evey xxxx
 
TheAgnostic said:
Got my wisdoms out yesterday had a chance to get pain meds and decided to play it safe and just take motrin. Going on 6 months clean/sober im not trying to risk that slippery slope..

Im moving back to Columbus tomorrow, my hometown. Its where i did all my using and partying, and i don't have much of a support group there so im low key nervous.. i plan on hitting meetings daily, starting a strict workout regiment and i plan to spend most of my time w/ family or at work.

I hope everyone is doing alright. one moment one hour one day at a time.
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Yeah that was a good move. I know a lot of people who ended up full on using again, after starting with just a few pills from shit like that. Congrats on being able to refrain and the 6 months clean.
 
I haven't posted anything because I did use on my bday. I am fighting the urge to get into using a lot so I am doing what I can to workout etc. I don't think it's a relapse I would consider it as a recreational use but still not an excuse right? I hope everyone is going strong <3
 
I don't think it's a relapse I would consider it as a recreational use but still not an excuse right?
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I don't think that this holds water, particularly pharmacologically. It's a common myth that addicts always return to prior patterns of usage extremely quickly following each relapse. Take it as a slip-up and then move on from it.

ebola
 
Hiya Ebola, those forums look interesting under your name - I been checking some of those out lately.
Nice to hear your input here :)
Oxy that's ace mate - well done, you. Did you not say you'd never done more than 6 days before? If it wasn't you I apologise but if it was, then that's double n to be proud of.
You're doing great n I wish you all the best. It's obvious from your posts that you love your daughter very much n want the best for her.
And your commitment is ace, I must be difficult when she doesn't understand why you can't stay but by doing this you are getting closer to having her again, I'm sure.

As for me, I'm seeing the doctor on 15 April and I'm going to be reducing suboxone from 12 mg to 10 mg. I WILL do this. I need to do this. I've been having thoughts about going back to my DOC lately as old feelings resurface. Will find a way through all of that.

Maya - it's ok. You're human. You're doing something about it now n that's what matters. You're being honest with us - and most importantly, with yourself.

Evey xxxx
 
^^ I would never advocate either for or against getting on or off suboxone, I think it should be up to the individual no matter what - however I just wanted to point out that it might not be the best time to start stepping down if you're having cravings and thoughts of going back on your DOC. Just something to think about, that's all.
 
CaseFace said:
^^ I would never advocate either for or against getting on or off suboxone, I think it should be up to the individual no matter what - however I just wanted to point out that it might not be the best time to start stepping down if you're having cravings and thoughts of going back on your DOC. Just something to think about, that's all.
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Im having the thought that once my child is an adult i can go back to my DOC. SHE's the only reason I've stopped wanting - n my parents n no money but deep down i never stopped. Anyway I will do what I need to now get back on my feet. I don't know why I'm thinking this way now.

Evey xxxx
 
Thanks Evey, appreciate it!! I am actually being hard on myself right now lol!!!
 
^Yeah that's true.. I am working my ass off again to make up for that day, this time triple the effort.
 
Whew. Very rough day with the cravings during a stressful problem. Getting a little better now. Hanging in there tonight.

Peace everyone.
 
Eveleivibe said:
Hiya Ebola, those forums look interesting under your name - I been checking some of those out lately.
Nice to hear your input here :)
Oxy that's ace mate - well done, you. Did you not say you'd never done more than 6 days before? If it wasn't you I apologise but if it was, then that's double n to be proud of.
You're doing great n I wish you all the best. It's obvious from your posts that you love your daughter very much n want the best for her.
And your commitment is ace, I must be difficult when she doesn't understand why you can't stay but by doing this you are getting closer to having her again, I'm sure.

As for me, I'm seeing the doctor on 15 April and I'm going to be reducing suboxone from 12 mg to 10 mg. I WILL do this. I need to do this. I've been having thoughts about going back to my DOC lately as old feelings resurface. Will find a way through all of that.

Maya - it's ok. You're human. You're doing something about it now n that's what matters. You're being honest with us - and most importantly, with yourself.

Evey xxxx
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Yeah that was me, my 4 1/2 or so years of use I've never been clean over a week so I'm proud of myself. I gotta be commited, I wanna be committed but I can't go back to ever usin again. Shit got bad this time but next time it'll be hell on earth and then some more.
 
Mr.scag addiction warps your mind so much that the DOC becomes more important to the person than harm reduction. Scary but it's true as you yourself will probably be aware.
Its one of the reasons I went on ++++++++.
Edit: i hope that doesn't come across wrong I don't mean it in an offensive way. It's just true xxxx
 
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