Mania vs Hypomania and Benzos

[DexterMeth]

I can't touch kratom or etizolam. I always abuse the hell out of both of them. Etizolam is too short lasting imo, more akin to alprazolam, even though it's metabolite is active and works for some 6-8 (?) hours after. It blacks me out far too easily, and this is because of the fast rise in tolerance + how short a time it lasts, so I always have to end up taking more and more. Hopefully you won't get to the point to where the etiz doesn't even really work anymore, but you take it so you don't have to detox.

It'll make your eyes wiggle at higher doses, as possibly will kratom.

 

[RobotRipping]

i've never blacked out on it, even at 10mg+, just fell asleep for a while. I don't abuse kratom, if i take too much i just get sick so it works for me. Abusing either substance is just not worth the high so i don't really have any desire to take huge doses and get fucked up, i just take enough to stay functional. I only use etizolam 3x/day. I have abused it but it's just boring on its own. I was smoking 5-meo-dalt while on it and that was amazing and incredibly fiendish but if i stay away from stims then i should be okay.

I've had double vision from etizolam by itself and the eye wiggles from kratom too, together in high doses it's almost impossible to see properly lol but i don't bother binging on either anymore, just pointless IMO.

I think the etizolam will stay working as long as i don't abuse it. My doses are like 4-6mg/day, and i don't plan to increase, though i do plan to decrease down to 1mg 3x day and stay at that with my kratom doses 12-15g/day.

It's a great combo. I'm starting school tomorrow and need to function socially and academically, so kratom helps greatly with this and etizolam balances me out. I don't get fucked up at all from either of them. It's not an ideal route to go down but i've tried everything, literally everything and this works for me and i'll keep going with it until it doesn't work and then i'll find something else, probably do this cycle the rest of my life, it's not that bad really though, especially if i'm progressing in my life and working towards bettering myself.

worst comes to worst i can get on tricyclic AD and seroquel if mania becomes an issue. I don't really get depressed though so i doubt i'm bipolar, i don't know what's wrong with me but i will be seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist soon enough and maybe they can give me a label lol. I bet i could get diagnosed with tons of disorders depending on my mood and the day i go in.

thanks for the reading and replying.

edit: started school and it has been great; meds are holding me extremely well, i am sociable, likeable, and not out of control manic or anything. I can focus in 3 hour lab classes without issue and function like a normal human being (or perhaps a slightly more effective one). All i can hope is that this keeps up.

 

[CfZrx]

I think if you're prone to mania in the first place and you use anything that supresses stress and anxiety, and then abrubtly stop, you could go manic if you're prone to that sort of thing to begin with.

^Oh yeah, hypomania is great. I'm pleasant, sociable, I'm full of energy, I can sleep only 4 hours a night and then I'm ready to go! It kind of turns you into the guy thats just walking down the street on a nice day whistling to himself, and makes people say, "what's that guy so happy about!"....I'm also very calm, rational and insightful when I'm in that state of mind to the point where people call me asking for advice about their lives, and I'm happy to listen and give it to them! It's like a "calm" energy that's really better than any drug I can think of!

the funny thing about it, when I'm in that state, it's kind of strange but nothing really bothers me that much! I can put anything into perspective! People could die, I could get robbed or crash my car, and I'm just like, "such is life!"....

Oh Yeah, I've had strings of years that were like that, but I've always had to eventually pay with "major depression" for awhile, but that only lasts a few months and then it's back to Mr. cheerful! lol

I've had psychiatrist tell me I was hypomanic that were'nt really even concerned, they just wanted to keep an eye on it to make sure it didn't progress into mania, which it hardly ever does for me....

but I swear, I know I sound like a flake, but read about kundalini, you can actually raise and lower your moods with different chanting and meditating techniques, it's amazingly interesting to me....The whole feeling of energy starting at the base of your spine and moving up to your brain, the opeening of different chakras, these are things that happen kind of "randomly" with drugs, but the same states can be achieved by learning how to meditate on the different chakras....You can actually put yourself into a benzo like state or an amphetamine-like state or a "psychedelic" state naturally...It takes practice to do, but it's fascinating...

I'm not a "new age" weirdo at all, but I've experienced it and it's just amazing...It's hard to stick with though...it takes discipline and it can trigger psychosis if you don't know how to bring it back down....

Damn, BH, that was really helpful! I am inspired to work on achieving the benzo or upper feeling from focused meditation Thanks

 

[BC21206]

I created this account specifically to thank you for your comments on this thread. I have been misdiagnosed with a variety of disorders. Recently after the process of elimination began to wonder if perhaps the benzo I'd been on and off for over a decade might relate to triggering my cycles and at the very least making me more susceptible. I was recently diagnosed with hypomania and have been on Lamictal. The verdict is still out on the results, but this comment in particular made me fully comprehend the accuracy of my new diagnosis. Into my 30's now, after 3 years of Suboxone treatment I've been off for 10 months, your comments resonated with me and I'm so very grateful to you for sharing. Can't thank you enough, /B.

 

[BC21206]

Yeah, with real hypomania, there's no anxiety or self doubt, it's just pure energy and confidence....It's not without a price, but any agitation or fear or depression goes out the window, you feel like you're in the "zone", although you may be kinda losing it! Other people close to you see it, and later on you look back and your like, "I said what?! I did what?!"...I'll tell anyone the most personal shit about myself and I have no fear of anything, at the time it feels amazing, but when you come down, pure regret...It's some crazy shit!

Sorry, in reference to. ^