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Making Progress

Donnie C

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 5, 2009
Messages
145
Location
PA
I'm coming up strong, swallowed the pills, defying gravity... lying in my bed, but I'm still... looking for thrills. I'm that chilled guy crying inside and I'm just dying to find that missing piece of my mind.
Jesus give a sign? In the form of a rhyme and let me wallow in my hollowness and borrowed sands of time. This is the sorrow of a man, morral fibre? not a strand... it just snapped like rubber bands or my hand with a shot or a dram...
...so here i am, tell me your plans. I think of galaxeys you span, so I wonder if you'll answer. They say you love a chancer, so you like a fucking bastard? God will make me morral... if I go ahead and ask her.
From the mountains of Alaska back to sunny Glesga, you favour my endevours... I dont expect anything lesser and you from me, make incredeble feats, together we can not be beat cause nothing else is stopping me.
DMT and Stevie Ray Vaughn, I'll see you later!... so long! and mate that dose was kinda strong. I know I boast but... i was gone. So a toast to passers of the bong and thats a metaphore for knowledge we forgot to pass em on.

I think I'm making progress, toke... but maybe smoke less.

I'm coming back now, fuck all those pills. I'll get my act sorted out and head back from the hills. The fact that I was ill never mattered to me, I could be splattered on the road killed or ran out the scene and i would laugh at you... cause I will do nothig but dream. So I'll be huffing and puffing until I say what I mean and you'll sit and you'll listen... make a desision, is he... a living inspiration, visionary trapped in the scheme?
 
anyone feelin this?...

Just experimenting with some rhyme schemes.
 
Yeah...I feel it.

Suggestion:It might be read more as a rhymes if you cut it into lines like a poem rather than prose.:)
 
Suggestion:It might be read more as a rhymes if you cut it into lines like a poem rather than prose.:)

This works very well as a prose-poem, I think. Often writers will label their poetry as prose-poetry when it's really just prose. This is a good example of a prose-poem defining itself. The key is the language and sound, not the structure or form.
 
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