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making a bet with an eight year old

Mehm said:
^^You must have missed the part where I said that the mom absent mindedly approved of the bet. To this end, I would be a shitty sitter if all I did was make sure the kids don't hurt themselves. Part of my job description is to teach, not just supervise.
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No, I caught that; I'm just taking everything you've related to us with a grain of salt. This is your side of the story only and I believe there's more to what happened than what you've shared. It's irrelevant that the mother "approved" of the bet, my point is that you seem determined to teach the child some kind of lesson and it is not your place. You're a babysitter, no more, no less.
 
^^god forbid an adult teaches a kid a lesson.. I mean wtf, srsly


and you're calling me a liar too? dude, she isn't even mad at me, what's your problem?
 
On second thought, you're right in saying that there is a bit more to the story, because there is (as always) 8)

However, I don't really think the extra tidbit that was cut for clairity is of too huge an importance.

Basically, when he paid me the 20, he also paid me another 14 for a package of paintballs that I bought him (again with the mother's apporval...he won't stop talking about paintballing 8( :D )). So, his mom (actually) originally heard, "mehm made me pay him 34 dollars because I ate sugar." Since she had forgoten about the paint balls and the bet, she didn't put two and two together, and thought I was royally fleecing her son. That is why she was so mad originally. Now that she knows the whole story, she isn't mad at all (that's what she has told me several times anyways).

If I encountered the same situation in the future, I wouldn't make a money bet. However, I don't regret what I did for one second.

peace
 
Mehm said:
Personally, I feel that the mom's outrage is a reflection of her own addiction to sugar (the amount of snacks and sweets around their house and her office is somewhat absurd). My bet with her son represents her inability to control her own life choices.
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So why didn't you make a bet with the adult, in that case?

8 year olds have a really difficult time estimating things. Have you ever seen them guess in contests like "How many jellybeans are in this jar?" Or asked them how old they think a random adult is? Do you remember how different your perception of time was when you were that age?

If you were able to avoid sweets for a month as a 3rd grader, I'm very happy for you. Go buy yourself a sugar-free cookie and send me the bill. But to set up a child who is surrounded by treats, is permitted to eat them at will, and expect him to have better self control than most adults in that situation is ridiculous.

And gambling is illegal for minors. You're a wonderful role model.
 
^^ Ha.

Who seriously thinks eight year olds are that stupid? You're acting as if he's four or something.
 
I can't believe you actually took and kept the money. The kid's eight for christ sakes... When I was eight, having $20 was like being the richest, coolest guy on the block.
 
Mehm said:
^^god forbid an adult teaches a kid a lesson.. I mean wtf, srsly
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It's not your place! How many times do I need to repeat myself? You're a babysitter- you watch the kids, make sure they're safe while the parents are at work, etc. and then go home. When you have your own kids you can teach them all kinds of bullshit "lessons" but until then I'd suggest reassessing your position.
 
you were in no position to take the money. it's not really the kid's money, the kid is 8 (!!!) years old and in no way capable of taking full responsibility for his bet, and it is not your job to teach him lessons anyway.

very inappropriate to take the money. even if you took it, you should have given it back to the mother straight-away.
 
paradoxcycle said:
It's not your place! How many times do I need to repeat myself?
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i'm intrigued pdx. you believe that the only people from whom a child should ever learn anything under any circumstances are (its own) parents (and, presumbly teachers)?

alasdair
 
^^I'm not going to speak for paradoxcycle, but as a parent I'll speak for myself. It's not the fact that he was trying to "teach" the kid about what's good or bad to eat; what would piss me off is that he challenged the kid to completely cut out sweets, and for a decent amount of time. I'm going to assume that this was without any knowledge of upcoming events, such as birthday parties, school events, family functions... It's really unrealistic to expect a child to win a bet like this, and *not* unrealistic for an 8 year old to jump at the chance of winning $20, which is A LOT for someone that age to be wagering.

Would I care if someone decided to educate my children on refined sugar and risks associated with its excessive intake? Hell no. But to just present all sweets as evil and try to bribe a kid into giving them up cold-turkey for a month seems inappropriate to me. Taking $20 from him on top of that just makes it worse.

It seems like *possibly* good intentions with mostly underlying greedy intentions, i.m.o. I'd be just as irritated if the bet was to give up fast-food restaurants or pizza for that long, because once in a while it's necessary for my schedule. Presenting the pro's and con's educationally is fine, but bribing someone elses child really crosses the line.
 
^ See I don't see the situation like that at all - but these differences of opinion are a very good reason why babysitters, aunt, uncles etc should keep their nose out of trying to teach someone else's kid life lessons.

Mehm thinks that sugar is bad, the mother obviously doesn't share the same conviction. It's just sending conflicting messages to the child.

Mehm, I don't think what you did is wrong, and I think it's important that kids learn to honour their bets, but I do think you were overstepping your bounds as a babysitter. It's not your place to teach the kid lessons.
 
I totally commend you on your intent... you truly meant well, and I as a parent of a couple of kids older than 8 years old, would have really appreciated your effort in trying to get my kid to eat better, and be aware of his health.

On the other hand, I would have really been shocked and a little bit pissed off, if the babysitter actually took $20.00 from my kid because he lost a bet. Eight year olds have absolutely no concept of money, because they rarely purchase things, and rely on mom and dad $100% for their needs. $20.00 to an 8 year old, is like $100.00 to an adult. I'm sure that money, was allowance money, given to him by his mother, in the first place. Honestly, don't quit the job over something this trivial, which you initiated in the first place. A child of 8 would have done wonderful on a point/reward system to reach such goal. Money, and its value, is still way over their heads, but not to the parent, who probably sees it as you taking advantage of their child, and THEIR (the parents) money, since it was given to the child by mom in the first place. I think you expected way too much, and then held the kid accountable for something he couldn't possibly uphold at that age.

Do the right thing, return the $20.00, and instead, take it as a learning experience. Point systems, charting and rewards in this situation would be much more appropriate, understood, and enjoyed rather than a monetary bet. An 8 year old is only 1 year beyond the legal definition of the "age of reason". One of my kids is 13, and he STILL has no idea of the value of money, or self restraint for that matter. Please give back that $20.00. I can see why the mom is upset. You meant well though, but it wasn't a fair bet, even if you didn't recognize that. :)

Edit: Teach him by example. When you are babysitting, eat healthy, and show him by example, all the alternatives to sugar that there are. Maybe it will rub off on his mom! :D
 
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alasdairm said:
i'm intrigued pdx. you believe that the only people from whom a child should ever learn anything under any circumstances are (its own) parents (and, presumbly teachers)?
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Not necessarily, no. But I believe in this situation he overstepped his boundaries. It really depends on the person I suppose but ultimately the parents should have the final call.
 
I guess I felt ok with it at the time because, like I said, I told the mom that her son and I were having a bet over sugar. While she didn't enquire futher, I probably should have told her the terms (I figured she would have asked if she was interested).


As for returning the money, what is wrong with paying him 7.00 an hour (my wage) to clean my car? That way he gets his money back, learns about the economy, and understands the value of his money. I completely agree with all of you that I shouldn't have made a cash bet (just what I'm used to from my child hood I guess), but now that I have, is giving the money back straight up sending the right message? I don't think so.

On a related note, I don't really care if it was the mother's money originally because she A. gave it to her son for chores or as a present and B. raised a kid that is completely addicted to sugar..so she is partly responsible for him loosing the bet. Hell, for all I know she probably encouraged him to eat cake and candy saying that it is ok to loose the bet if he really wants to eat sugar.

paradoxycle said:
It's not your place! How many times do I need to repeat myself? You're a babysitter- you watch the kids, make sure they're safe while the parents are at work, etc. and then go home. When you have your own kids you can teach them all kinds of bullshit "lessons" but until then I'd suggest reassessing your position.
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I guess we'll have to remain in disagreement on this one..it takes a village to raise a child sort of thing. If she doesn't like it, she can fire me.
 
yo. just thought I'd tell ya'll that after looking at my own childhood (always walking around casinos, watching gambling, making bets with family etc.) and comparing it to the kid in question, it was a preatty unfair bet for somonewith his experience. So, I gave the money back to his mom.

thanks for the adivce ya'll, I really do appreciate it.

peace
 
elemenohpee said:
Yeah, stupid americans. I mean there's no stupid people anywhere else, its just because he happens to live in the US. 8(
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Well, let's face it, you do seem to have a large percentage of real retards living there. If someone asked this in the European Discussion forum, they would get laughed out of the place.
 
^^is that because a lot Europeans are ivory tower snobs?

It was a bet, not that big of a deal 8)
 
Treacle said:
Well, let's face it, you do seem to have a large percentage of real retards living there. If someone asked this in the European Discussion forum, they would get laughed out of the place.
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What kind of ridiculous generalization is that? It's on par with my saying all Brits have bad teeth. No offense, but you sound like a fool.
 
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