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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Lucid dreaming and paranoid shitzoprhenia

Wise420

Wise420

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
1,283
Location
Australia
So i'll try to keep this short..

For the past 3 months now, everyday and all day Ive been abusing xanax bars. I would probabably say I would eat roughly between 6-10 mg per day, depending on what was planned.

I finally decided to stop the bars last week and I was off them clean for 6 days untill I had this dream the other night. I woke up beleiving everything in these dreams where so real to me, that they were, even though alot of things in these stories where over the top and dodgy as to read to begin with, this is what a typcal suffer goes through after a few studys I read.

I went 6 whole days with no bars, finally getting over the insominia with poor sleeping patterns. For some reason( maybe due to being the weekend) I decide to go to a mates place late at night to start on dosing. Shortcut... I ended up getting followed home by this guy I was hanging with at this party( he carrys knifes and rolls people in general, scummy bloke). He ended up breaking into my lower house and starting a fire, or so I thought. I ended up calling fire fighters along with the cops once I noticed my laundry was half lite up on fire(which wasnt the case at all). Worth throwing in, that during this time he stabbed my brother and step father and killed them, but then brought them back to life which at the time seemed normal to me. why wouldnt it be? I had just seen these things with my own eyes, and they were real.

I cant explain what I even did over 2 whole nights because I thought I was out getting wasted off Heroin, cannabis and cocaine, along with those bars.

Sunday morning hits and ive sobered up completely now. I get on facebook and have 20+ msges from this guy who rolled me friday saying hes gonna come up to my place today at 1 pm and start the same shit(once i read this i was holding a 5ft metal axe with me close, sussing out all the windows and locks on my doors). I ended up speaking to my mate about this hip hop band we saw(never happend) and hes like what you talking about man? This is when things clicked for me, that maybe this WHOLE weekend I had just remember, never actually happend.. And it appears this way, after I asked mum about the original fire and she said there was none, there was also no cop statement which I remember giving..

So I read into Lucid dreaming/paranoid scitzophrenia and come up with some pretty solid spot on advice. I cant see a psychologist or psychiatrist untill wednesday so thought id throw this up and get people opinions on it. As far as having PS in my family, theres no documentation of any kind after speaking to my mum( im 19 btw). Now im affraid of going to sleep sober because of this last dream I had.

Has anyone else gone through after stopping xanax and going through their first week of withdrawals?

Any input highly appreciated, thanks.
 
dude
wayyy too much xanax.
shit.
i'm confused though.

"I went 6 whole days with no bars, finally getting over the insominia. For some reason( maybe due to being the weekend) I decide to go to a mates place late at night to start on dosing. Shortcut... I ended up getting followed home by this guy I was hanging with at this party( he carrys knifes and rolls people in general, scummy bloke). He ended up breaking into my lower house and starting a fire, or so I thought. I ended up calling fire fighters along with the cops once I noticed my laundry was half lite up on fire(which wasnt the case at all). Worth throwing in, that during this time he stabbed my brother and step father and killed them, but then brought them back to life which at the time seemed normal to me. why wouldnt it be? I had just seen these things with my own eyes, and they were real."
this was the dream..
were you sleeping the whole weekend? like in bed, tucked in
or were you out and about?
and were the fb messages real or lucid dream?
 
ee I dont know wheather this weekend just happend or not. It appears it hasnt, but when I think about what I was doing instead all I can remember is waking up feeling groggyish then going back into town for the day and night to get fucked up again. I dont remember staying in bed though. And these facebook msges turned out to be fake.

Worth mentioning before I abused the xanax I had a slight/severe case of anxiety/stress caused by heavy pot use at a younger age. I use to be on adhd meds during primary school because I was so hyper all the time, now im the completele opposite some 5 years later. My psychologist said she thinks me going through my schooling years induced these anxious thoughts, when I was prettttty certtain the weed use caused it(esepcially after reeading so many similar cases here on BL). I also mentioned to her I used a drug forum site and she didnt know what a forum was, so things were left there..

Going back to see her wednesday, even though shes got my refered to another psych, that appointment isnt till 2-3 weeks away, and thats just to long.

Edit- I just relised it's only saturday, so it was just the one night without them. Makes more sense now.
 
I didn't took my benzo either last night since I was very drunk and decided it's better not to take it and even quit it. In that drunk state that I was It only helped me sleep for a few hours, then I woke up again and I had to struggle to get back to sleep, but maybe that was probably because I was very thirsty too.I was never on a high dose as you were. Maybe suddenly stopping 6-10 mg per day of Xanax witch I believe is stronger than what I take ( Medazepam ) caused those vivid dreams , since benzos affect sleep too.

You know that state when your almost awake and can dream with your eyes almost open ? I think this is what happened to you, your body got addicted to the benzo and could not get in a deep sleep state without it.
 
Ok so again after beleving these fucked up dreams, it appear's whatever I come up with is turning out to be fake....

Psychology appnt not untill wednesday, simply cant waiti that long without not knowingly what the deal is.


Does anyone else have anything to add?? Similar experiences etc etc. I am in serious need of help.
 
well if you went one night, then that makes a lot more sense than a whole weekend gap
have you been diagnosed with ps?
or just symptoms
because going off benzos can slice you with anxiety that you didn't know you had because it's been dulled
also, it fucks with your sleep
like darklane said, maybe you were just in that state when you're caught between dream and waking
that can be especially true if you're cutting out something that normally helps you sleep
but how do you feel now? like since you've woken up and realized that you're dreaming
you seem to realize that a lot of these symptoms have to do with cleansing from benzos
or do you think it's more?
you know best, man
but seeing a psych is probably a good idea atm, especially if you've been abusing shit
 
a decent benzo withdrawal will give you symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia; it will also make your dreams insanely vivid and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. I'm not entirely sure you were in withdrawal though. I get pretty crazy on high doses of benzos + psychedelics/stimulants and have weird experiences; just sounds like you were really fucked up. A psych visit can't hurt and with some time you'll probably get a handle on what's really happening. Avoid any violence, you don't want to end up swinging an axe at invisible people, or real people without knowing what's real or not. Probably wouldn't hurt to have someone you can trust around to help you figure out what's going on.
 
You can say way too many "xanax" or you can say way too many "drugs" in general.

You clarified to us first an addiction to xanax, and mentioned also using heroin, pot, and cocaine. How regularly do you use these drugs?

Also, having that type of episode to me sounds like some shitty paranoid side effect of the mass of drugs you are taking at once. I can't just assume you are schizophrenic or something. Maybe its being elicited but thats for a dr to decide. I'd tend to think maybe all those drugs are just triggering a psychotic paranoid state. Does not have to be schizophrenia imo. More of a drug induced psychosis type. Have you ever experienced this before you started using all these drugs? (and then just stopping/etc)
 
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