RainbowWarrior
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2010
- Messages
- 325
Nice reports
Would you mind us moving this to our Trip Reports forum so it can be read by people looking for trip reports?
No not at all, although it is not really a trip report till now... well it is, as the whole life is nothing but a trip, but all this happened weeks after my last use of LSD or any other psychedelic apart from cannabis...
But i'll try to bring into shape what never really can be expressed and writ a trip report...
My first trip with LSD:
Ok so let's start at the begining, i was invited at a friends house to eat with the whole family and later go on to a party...
So we had a very nice meal with his wife and kids and went off... we drove out of the city to where the party should be, when we arrived there was nobody there except the people living there. Here i should add that the location was something like a commune - with a "puplic" area in the first floor, the place had 2 big rooms: 1 for the music, and 1 whith a bar and a lot of couches to chill out...
One of the first things i noticed while having a drink and small talk with the hosts was a big orange sign on which was written: "THIS IS NOT A BAR" ... i wouldn't really understand that until a few hours later...
so we arrived as the first ones at the place, and even the one who organized the whole thing wasn't there yet... we started to smoke some joints and set the place up a little bit for later... at this point i already was told it would not be a normal party but a rave, so i was already strongly thinking about taking psychedelics this evening... so i checked out the souroundings of the house and saw that there were some nice spots in nature close by, so it really fitted my needs for my plans...
Sometime later the first other guests arrived and everybody already seemed to know eachother for the most part, those who didn't were introduced... i as well was introduced to everybody else (I'm doing some time abroad atm for my studies
) i found it interesting to already notice a very nice atmosphere before any drugs (other than cannabis) were taken... there was some kind of collective anticipation, but very relaxed...we then continued to set everything up, in the room for the music there were carpets put everywhere on the floor and in the hallway from the music-room to the bar-room somebody put up a white plastic foil - which use i also would only understand later on...
at about 10 o clock the whole thing began to start then and most people started sharing drinks in which they had dropped liquid lsd, i was given 1 drop on my hand by one of my friends who took me there and swallowed it. I was nervous, not too much but noticeably - i had not taken acid before afterall and the setting was nice but still kind of unfamiliar...
i did some things to distract me until the effects would start to kick in, so i wandered around the location and talked to some folks there, etc... about an hour later i was in the bar and now it was really starting. Everything around started to move and glow - something i already was very familiar with from my previous (20+) shroom experiences... I told this to my 2 friends with which i was sitting at a bar having a drink, the only answer i got was the question wether my drink contains alcohol, after denying i found out why she asked :D she pulled out a small veile of liquid lsd and gave it to her friend to put it in the drink...
In this moment i already realised that the trip was now really there and more than just like a mellow shroom trip like i thought at first... but now i wanted to go for it and so took some sips from my drink which now contained this mystical acid.
From this point on it gets a little hard to remember and get into chronological order... i was in the music room when the acid started to really come on... 1st the strong desire to laugh - laugh about all this nonsense that we think is oh so important in our daily lifes
the laughing set free the full visual potential of the trip, it was getting really intense, so intense that i had to sit down, which more resulted in lying down... for the next 30 minutes (could as well have been a whole lifetime who knows :D ) i was just lying there watching the whole dance floor with all the people melt into one, until everything would join and the whole universe would be one with me who was lying heavily on drugs in this crazy room...fantastic, words can never even come close to express that feeling of really knowing everything is one!After some time i realised i should be dancing, because dancing seemed the one thing which makes the most sense... everything is dancing! so why shouldn't i dance and celebrate? So i let myself go and flow with the music, this electrical music really can take you on a ride
The next scene is where the whole thing became to get a little unpleasant for me... at this rave i already had noticed one girl before that i thought was strange and kind of "evil" looking (this was before i took anything, she also resembled somewhat the stereotyp of what a heavy junky looks like)... well it hadn't really mattered to me before as i normally can very well ignore people that i feel are not on the same wavelength...
But she came over to me at the dancefloor and ask me to put down some cloth which was attached at the ceiling, not a big deal normally. So i tried to reach for it - but well on acid (i was already aproaching the peak) such easy things can get very difficult. Well i didn't manage to do so and told her, in this moment with a real suprising speed she took me and lifted me up so that i'd reach the holder with which the cloth was attached. It may not sound that bad, but this moment was a real shock for me, i didn't have a chance to realise what was happening until it was already over... and it was obviously not about getting the cloth down, but about giving me the shock - and this realisation was way worse than the moment itself
there was somebody trying to scare me, thinking behind my back about how to get me... you can see how this can really get to you in a trip i think...Well for the moment, i was rational enough to know that a change of the room would be good in order to get my thoughts in some other directions. So i went into the bar room and sat at the bar where i also found my friend with whome i came to the party, we talked a little and i rolled a joint which we then smoked - my friend left after a while for the other room while i stayed at the bar. After that joint things were getting even more intense, strong visual effects, and then i started to get this clear moments with deep insights one sometimes is lucky enough to catch on a trip. I remember being amazed by how rational i still could analyse all these astract thoughts that were now completely free of any linguistic boundaries. Somehow i chased one thought a whole while until realising it's a thought that has always been there in me, i only didn't pay attention! this was the very moment when my ego just got taken away from me (ego death really somehow describes it) i not only felt that everything is one, i was everything! and i realised that my ego consious of course is bound to my body and will die with it, there is still a universal consiousness that always has been part of me (or i always part of it? probably both - like always just stupid linguistic games)
I can't really tell you how long i was gone, but what was really the most interesting part (or the one that taught me the most) was that i could see my ego coming back - being put together again like a puzzle, and i could see which parts of the puzzle i like and which i don't and that i can substitute the parts that i don't like for others that i like... it was basically realising my own strength and powers over myself (but in a total different way than rationally thinking i am in control of myself - it's not thinking it's knowing)
At this time fear came back to me - i realised that not everybody in the room had good intentions towards the others. I thought hearing conspirative thoughts and laughters, well paranoia - if you ever felt it you know what i mean... it got to a point where i was so scared i couldn't move - because i thought every movement of me would catch the attention of one of this evil beings around me, i thought if i would now go to the toilet or outside they would kill me...
and then i saw the light! i saw that there are people who were glowing from the inside, and they were able to communicate even with those that i thought were pure evil (because i couldn't understand them) i saw that nothing can ever be as strong as the light of love, and that the question is not wether there is a force who is tending the light on the end of the tunnel (see fear and loathing for reference
) but that we ourselves can be the very light at the end of the tunnel if we want to! It is so hard to put in words but so obvious once you have seen it...after that the worst part of fear was over, yet there were still some moments when paranoia was crawling back on me... at one point where i thought i couldn't stand it any longer and was short before another psychotic attack i told my friend who had reappeared at my side about it, and asked him to care for me a while. This was were i was really amazed by the power of sharing, share your fears and they will go away, share your love and it will spread! i thought about the slogan: "SHARING IS CARING" that i happened to see everyday more on the internet and realised the deep truth hidden in those words
I began to relax from this point on and just let myself flow... most of the time i stayed in the bar... in one moment i remember looking again on the big orange sign that still stated: "THIS IS NOT A BAR" i had to laugh really hard on this one, and you'll understand it if you'll ever find yourself in a "not-bar" crowded with 50-10 acid heads :D i also went back dancing for a while and experienced the pure joy of being alive and expressing the apreciation about it...
When i started to really come down a little i went outside for a little while to try and think and get myself together a little, it worked out well and the rest of the trip was completely controlled by me and very exciting and nice...
at about 6 o clock my friend told me that he will go back to the city now and that he'll take me if i want to. I was still triping but as i said very controlled now so i decided to go back with him... well we ended up in a police control at the highway :D but suprisingly i had no problems at all in handling the situation despite the visuals i had while responding the police officer...
back home i smoked a joint, wondered when the trip will stop and eventually went to sleep after an hour realising that the joint had only brought on the acid once again with suprising intensity... i woke up 7 hours later still mildly triping, went for a long 2-3 hour walk in a nearby park enjoying life more than ever
well since then i haven't been the same anymore as this thread shows you, but it also really took me a while to remember all of the trip and learn what i was told this day. So some weeks later i had this intense moment of clarity, and since then everything makes as much sense as it did in my peak experiences with psychedelics
i think to now understand the nature of the to sides (sights / points of view) and somehow seem able to use both sides acording to my needs...don't know wether i'll take psychedelics again - atm i really don't feel the desire to do so, as i feel i already learnt more than one can fulfil in a lifetime, but still i always liked psychedelics and maybe i'll do some acid again when i progressed enough in the other (rational) world... but at this point no (2 days ago i was at a party and some friends went on to a rave after and asked me to come, i didn't go, although i think next time i'll go without having taken a drug other than cannabis)
don't know wether anybody could read my confused stuff until the end, but rethinking that experience and writing it down bring me all the way back and now i'm triping :D
oh yeah i forgot about the white plastic foil i mentioned earlier: it was used to write with led lights on it, really incrdible thing with those tracers of light that are visible for what seemed like minutes...
cheers, gonna have to smoke a joint of some indica now to bring me back a little - should be sleeping by now as i have to go to university tomorow morning... good night
