Okay I will "try" to keep this very short... So far I have only told my parents about this problem, and although they are supporting, it doesn't solve the problem I am experiencing.
First of all sorry for my bad english, its not my native language.
I took LSD on 28 July this year, so 15 weeks ago - and it was LSD I am 99% sure (topgear). I was very eager to try it, been planning to try it for years.
My prior experience with substances include: XTC (once), DMT (breakthrough once), weed (2-3 years).
And I have been reading about LSD and how it can bring up mental disorders in persons already predisposed (usually because of genetics), or that already have latent mental disorder. And I was so sure of myself that it is impossible to happen to me, I was convincing people who were not sure if they should try it too etc. I was thinking of mental disorder such as schizophrenia as one where you completely lose all sense of reality (and I was kinda content with that, because I thought at the time that I wouldn't notice the transition - or wouldn't know what's happening around me if I somehow became insane.)
The Experience
There were 4 of us.. It started with laughing, mild hallucinations, full hallucinations then amazement, we talked, we were exploring the house, listening to music etc. Sometimes we would go outside, and it was the best feeling - so liberating... After 5 hours the hallucinations kinda ended, and everyone started some normal everyday talk, and my friends appeared to me as if they had come off the trip. We decided that we feel normal enough to walk to the nearby park, and while there - they continued with the normal talk but I still was feeling the effects, and slightly not "my normal self" as if I was was still under the effects (something like an MDMA comedown)... And I don't know how but an anxiety started to grow inside me that I was the only one that the drugs didn't wore off for, and started thinking negative thoughts (that I am going to end up forever on trip, like the crazy people I have researched) and had a growing anxiety that was so unbearable that I had to tell my friends.. to which they reacted surprised, and slightly panicked. I asked some basic questions, explaining how I feel, basically trying to relate, and I received mixed responses. After that we went to town to get food and got back to the house 7-8 hours after ingestion, and I immediately asked online - and received very reassuring responses, saw a graph and according to it I was at about 30% of the peak experience (aka still under the effects of lsd). After that I was more relaxed, and through talk, I was beginning to think that I have had a bad trip or something like that. Then 1 guy from the group and another friend who wasn't present came and we stayed for about 4-5 hours more, we were talking about what happened etc. I had hard time falling asleep even though I was dead tired, and the dreams in the next days were very mindfuckery in nature.
Days 4-Now
Next few days I was feeling quit normal, a bit different, but not like during the trip. And one day at work I had a massive panic attack, that made me very scared - and I had to tell my father, he was very reassuring, and understanding, we talked for a while and the anxiety kinda went away. The panic attacks are always connected to bad thoughts - that I will end up schizophrenic, i over analyze myself if I am normal, how do others perceive me, thinking if I would have done this thing pre-lsd etc. Reading about schizophrenia online and sometimes I would see symptoms that make me think that I have them, and sometimes like on bluelight psychidelic crisis wiki article - it explains that it's just anxiety. Sometimes I think that all this paranoia that I create myself might be the mental disorder itself.
Weed Relationship
After the LSD I didn't smoke weed at all, I was afraid that it might bring reoccurrance of the fears.. I have smoked only a few times in the 3 months that followed, and it felt familiar, it made me confident that I wouldn't experience a bad trip ( before that when I smoked weed, bad trips were welcome, i enjoyed them, it didn't matter for me because most of the time i would laugh at how crazy the ideas were, and most often i wouldn't think bad things - it was like a thrill, and I liked outside the box thinking.) But in the last 2 weeks I was smoking about almost everyday and ended up smoking while I had anxiety 2 days ago, and was having panic attacks whole night that I would become insane etc. And a certain hissing in my ears was the major thing why I had these thoughts that these were early symptoms of schizophrenia or whatever.
I then found that this paragraph on the wiki that was kinda reassuring even though it uses words such as "stigmatized, implying"
Psychological research has looked at the tinnitus distress reaction (TDR) to account for differences in tinnitus severity.[19] Research has stigmatized people with severe tinnitus by implying they have personality disorders, such as neuroticism, anxiety sensitivity, and catastrophic thinking, which all predispose increased TDR.[25][26][27] These findings suggest that at the initial perception of tinnitus, conditioning links tinnitus with negative emotions, such as fear and anxiety from unpleasant stimuli at the time. This enhances activity in the limbic system and autonomic nervous system, thus increasing tinnitus awareness and annoyance.[28]
Another source for massive panic attack and fear was when I remembered my first time smoking weed, thinking that I am going to end up insane and in think delusional thoughts and be stuck in a loop. My first time was enjoyable from my point of view at that time.. but now I view at as temporary psychosis, basically I was creating theory upon theory and conspiracies in my mind, while my friend who was also high was explaining that there are no theories or conspiracies... and on the comedown I realized how delusional I was thinking - but at that time it was amazing to me, and since then I have always tried to replicate that experience but I wasn't able to - I was always kind of aware of what was happening.
TLDR version
Has anyone had a bad LSD trip - developed anxiety thinking that they will become crazy, and develop tinnitus as a cause of self worrying.. also has anyone had a weed trip experience where they were so far gone, that they didn't realize until the the effect of the drug wore off somewhat.
First of all sorry for my bad english, its not my native language.
I took LSD on 28 July this year, so 15 weeks ago - and it was LSD I am 99% sure (topgear). I was very eager to try it, been planning to try it for years.
My prior experience with substances include: XTC (once), DMT (breakthrough once), weed (2-3 years).
And I have been reading about LSD and how it can bring up mental disorders in persons already predisposed (usually because of genetics), or that already have latent mental disorder. And I was so sure of myself that it is impossible to happen to me, I was convincing people who were not sure if they should try it too etc. I was thinking of mental disorder such as schizophrenia as one where you completely lose all sense of reality (and I was kinda content with that, because I thought at the time that I wouldn't notice the transition - or wouldn't know what's happening around me if I somehow became insane.)
The Experience
There were 4 of us.. It started with laughing, mild hallucinations, full hallucinations then amazement, we talked, we were exploring the house, listening to music etc. Sometimes we would go outside, and it was the best feeling - so liberating... After 5 hours the hallucinations kinda ended, and everyone started some normal everyday talk, and my friends appeared to me as if they had come off the trip. We decided that we feel normal enough to walk to the nearby park, and while there - they continued with the normal talk but I still was feeling the effects, and slightly not "my normal self" as if I was was still under the effects (something like an MDMA comedown)... And I don't know how but an anxiety started to grow inside me that I was the only one that the drugs didn't wore off for, and started thinking negative thoughts (that I am going to end up forever on trip, like the crazy people I have researched) and had a growing anxiety that was so unbearable that I had to tell my friends.. to which they reacted surprised, and slightly panicked. I asked some basic questions, explaining how I feel, basically trying to relate, and I received mixed responses. After that we went to town to get food and got back to the house 7-8 hours after ingestion, and I immediately asked online - and received very reassuring responses, saw a graph and according to it I was at about 30% of the peak experience (aka still under the effects of lsd). After that I was more relaxed, and through talk, I was beginning to think that I have had a bad trip or something like that. Then 1 guy from the group and another friend who wasn't present came and we stayed for about 4-5 hours more, we were talking about what happened etc. I had hard time falling asleep even though I was dead tired, and the dreams in the next days were very mindfuckery in nature.
Days 4-Now
Next few days I was feeling quit normal, a bit different, but not like during the trip. And one day at work I had a massive panic attack, that made me very scared - and I had to tell my father, he was very reassuring, and understanding, we talked for a while and the anxiety kinda went away. The panic attacks are always connected to bad thoughts - that I will end up schizophrenic, i over analyze myself if I am normal, how do others perceive me, thinking if I would have done this thing pre-lsd etc. Reading about schizophrenia online and sometimes I would see symptoms that make me think that I have them, and sometimes like on bluelight psychidelic crisis wiki article - it explains that it's just anxiety. Sometimes I think that all this paranoia that I create myself might be the mental disorder itself.
Weed Relationship
After the LSD I didn't smoke weed at all, I was afraid that it might bring reoccurrance of the fears.. I have smoked only a few times in the 3 months that followed, and it felt familiar, it made me confident that I wouldn't experience a bad trip ( before that when I smoked weed, bad trips were welcome, i enjoyed them, it didn't matter for me because most of the time i would laugh at how crazy the ideas were, and most often i wouldn't think bad things - it was like a thrill, and I liked outside the box thinking.) But in the last 2 weeks I was smoking about almost everyday and ended up smoking while I had anxiety 2 days ago, and was having panic attacks whole night that I would become insane etc. And a certain hissing in my ears was the major thing why I had these thoughts that these were early symptoms of schizophrenia or whatever.
I then found that this paragraph on the wiki that was kinda reassuring even though it uses words such as "stigmatized, implying"
Psychological research has looked at the tinnitus distress reaction (TDR) to account for differences in tinnitus severity.[19] Research has stigmatized people with severe tinnitus by implying they have personality disorders, such as neuroticism, anxiety sensitivity, and catastrophic thinking, which all predispose increased TDR.[25][26][27] These findings suggest that at the initial perception of tinnitus, conditioning links tinnitus with negative emotions, such as fear and anxiety from unpleasant stimuli at the time. This enhances activity in the limbic system and autonomic nervous system, thus increasing tinnitus awareness and annoyance.[28]
Another source for massive panic attack and fear was when I remembered my first time smoking weed, thinking that I am going to end up insane and in think delusional thoughts and be stuck in a loop. My first time was enjoyable from my point of view at that time.. but now I view at as temporary psychosis, basically I was creating theory upon theory and conspiracies in my mind, while my friend who was also high was explaining that there are no theories or conspiracies... and on the comedown I realized how delusional I was thinking - but at that time it was amazing to me, and since then I have always tried to replicate that experience but I wasn't able to - I was always kind of aware of what was happening.
TLDR version
Has anyone had a bad LSD trip - developed anxiety thinking that they will become crazy, and develop tinnitus as a cause of self worrying.. also has anyone had a weed trip experience where they were so far gone, that they didn't realize until the the effect of the drug wore off somewhat.
God Bless!