I am shpongled
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 9, 2007
- Messages
- 637
2 hits pink panther blotter - T+6:00
Closing my eyes, I envisioned five-dimensional knots, grids, multicolored explosions of energies, textures and emotions. My skin disintegrated. I was reaching the top of my peak.
Suddenly I felt an extreme pressure. It came from the core of my body and spread to my brain and everything around me. I could feel my body and soul flatten as if in a trash compactor. I imagined God's heel crushing me between a boot and the ground.
I lied down and covered myself in blankets. My heart and lungs ceased to function, and I died. But, I wasn't sad.
I envisioned a giant flower made of magma, flying through a dark tube. At the center of the flower was our campfire. Each petal represented one person. One of the petals (me) continuously flaked off and fell into oblivion. Some of the others seemed to look back and notice, but they could not help but fly forward.
The conversation around me continued to go on. My friends were sarcastically joking and laughing, unaware that I had died.
As they spoke, I imagined their faces speaking to one another. Their faces and torsos made up facets of a spinning diamond that I was viewing from the inside. With each comment, I could glance into their thoughts and perceptions. For moments at a time, I became them and felt as if I had lived their entire lives. This was reincarnation.
Their lives continued after I had died. I saw the campfire from above, and my lifeless body disappeared. Though I had disappeared, the system continued to function. I was in awe at how simple and pattern-based each component was. Every participant was automatic; they were thoughtful, but this thought was a based on deterministic pattern.
I got up and moved towards the fire. The boundaries of my senses moved from my eyes and skin into deep inside my body, down to my feet, into the earth and sprouted up into the trees and bodies of my friends.
I shook my head and tried to speak, but instead fell into deep introspection. What was my soul but simple inner monologue? And what were my words but echoes of things I have heard? Every imaginable interaction between two people - from small talk to sex - seemed like a mechanism as robotic as the beating of a heart.
For the first time in my life, I was truly humbled. My ego was destroyed.
~~~~
That morning I found I had aimlessly driven myself to another town, miles away from where I live. I believe this was a combination of sleep deprivation and deep, meaningful contemplation. I found that my persistent migraine photopsia, which had lasted for several months, had disappeared. I am still struggling to piece together my identity and everything I learned from that night.
Closing my eyes, I envisioned five-dimensional knots, grids, multicolored explosions of energies, textures and emotions. My skin disintegrated. I was reaching the top of my peak.
Suddenly I felt an extreme pressure. It came from the core of my body and spread to my brain and everything around me. I could feel my body and soul flatten as if in a trash compactor. I imagined God's heel crushing me between a boot and the ground.
I lied down and covered myself in blankets. My heart and lungs ceased to function, and I died. But, I wasn't sad.
I envisioned a giant flower made of magma, flying through a dark tube. At the center of the flower was our campfire. Each petal represented one person. One of the petals (me) continuously flaked off and fell into oblivion. Some of the others seemed to look back and notice, but they could not help but fly forward.
The conversation around me continued to go on. My friends were sarcastically joking and laughing, unaware that I had died.
As they spoke, I imagined their faces speaking to one another. Their faces and torsos made up facets of a spinning diamond that I was viewing from the inside. With each comment, I could glance into their thoughts and perceptions. For moments at a time, I became them and felt as if I had lived their entire lives. This was reincarnation.
Their lives continued after I had died. I saw the campfire from above, and my lifeless body disappeared. Though I had disappeared, the system continued to function. I was in awe at how simple and pattern-based each component was. Every participant was automatic; they were thoughtful, but this thought was a based on deterministic pattern.
I got up and moved towards the fire. The boundaries of my senses moved from my eyes and skin into deep inside my body, down to my feet, into the earth and sprouted up into the trees and bodies of my friends.
I shook my head and tried to speak, but instead fell into deep introspection. What was my soul but simple inner monologue? And what were my words but echoes of things I have heard? Every imaginable interaction between two people - from small talk to sex - seemed like a mechanism as robotic as the beating of a heart.
For the first time in my life, I was truly humbled. My ego was destroyed.
~~~~
That morning I found I had aimlessly driven myself to another town, miles away from where I live. I believe this was a combination of sleep deprivation and deep, meaningful contemplation. I found that my persistent migraine photopsia, which had lasted for several months, had disappeared. I am still struggling to piece together my identity and everything I learned from that night.
