stonedxixam
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 29, 2008
- Messages
- 53
That should say my FIRST POSITIVE trip with LSD..
"Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo."
Man the past 48 hours of my life have been so fucking intense. I tripped acid about a month ago for the first time. In my head, I have this attitude...a credo so to speak:: "Go for broke or go the fuck home...". I had 4 hits of acid that day, and 1 ditsy girl to share it with. I ended up downing around 2 1/2 hits...boy oh boy was that a fucking mistake. I was completely depersonalized, I could not form any rational thoughts whatsoever, and my mind was literally just FUCKED. It was a miserable experience and I was glad when it was finally over.
After a few weeks of debating, I decided I'd give the great LSD one last shot. So much hype around it, I mean this drug nearly changed the fucking country. Or at least that's what people would have you believe...and...well, I believe it. I received 4 hits of some Hoffman blotter (if you don't know who Albert Hoffman is, WIKI that shit motherfuckers...). I did one hit Friday night, not really knowing what to expect. To my surprise and utter delight, it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.
I walked outside somewhere around 3 AM Saturday morning, still tripping but for sure coming down pretty hard. I'd wasted the majority of my trip sitting in this room staring at WinAmp's Milkdrop like a retard while listening to songs I've heard 2,000 times (*not an actual figure*), yet those songs never get old. They are my comfort songs. Mostly older shit. Nearly all older shit. Milkdrop was just fucking amazing on acid, but I kind of felt like I'd cheated myself by not spending more time outside.
When I walked out there Saturday morning, I looked up at the night sky, and I could literally see so so many stars. More stars/planets/clusters than I'd ever witnessed in my life. And what's weird is I could actually SEE the distance between myself and those stars. It's really hard to explain to someone who's never done acid, but man oh man. It was truly an amazing sight to see. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Somewhere out there, there very well could be an intelligent life form (well, at least as intelligent as homo sapiens, which isn't saying much) staring back at that same night sky, looking at a little dot of light that just happens to be Earth. Wondering, just as I was, if there was someone else out there looking back. It was a truly wonderful thing to experience, to be able to stop going from A to Z. To be able to stop and recognize that there are other letters in between, and that there is so many little things going around you that seem insignificant, but are in reality responsible for your existence.
Not many people share my enthusiasm for space. It's one thing that baffles me. How could you NOT look up at the night sky and be completely fucking amazed at what you are seeing? Are you that fucking dense? Blah.
I digress, LSD really allowed me to do some introspective thinking about my life. I came to some realizations about myself that I have been ignoring for so long. Things that have hampered my evolution as an adult male. My dependance on my family, despite my long held belief otherwise...my lack of ambition, my dwelling on the past instead of the present and more importantly the future. My drug addiction, the way I treat people around me...I am not the person I want to be. I really am an asshole.
I'm ready to change that, but I know realistically this is something that will not change overnight. It's going to take one thing that I currently lack in my life, discipline. Forcing myself to do things that I otherwise would not do, not because I have to, but because I MUST in order to better myself as a human being. I need to set some new goals for myself, and take steps forward in order to accomplish those goals. I have to start living life...
The guy who hooked me up with the 'Cid has changed my life, whether he realizes it or not. It's fucking insane how these little pieces of paper, so fucking little, pack such a punch that one little piece can change your entire perspective on life as well as change the way you think about other people. I no longer consider myself a misanthrope. Misanthropes are bitter people, miserable people who bring nothing but misery with them wherever they go. I don't want to be that guy anymore...
Last night I attempted to recreate the magic of Friday night, but I just sort of felt more weirded out than anything. Mild hallucinations, but no overwhelming euphoria and sense of well-being that I had the previous evening. It was still and all and fun experience, but I now realize that these sort of experiences should definitely be limited to once or twice a year. Just to keep yourself in check. Just to set the ego aside, do some introspective thinking...and to see the little things in life that make existance so fucking wonderful for what they are, as opposed to neglecting them due to ignorance.
I hope everyone had a good weekend, and if you are reading this walk outside tonight. Look up at the night sky. Really look at it. You'll be pleasantly surprised if you look with the right eyes...
"Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo."
Man the past 48 hours of my life have been so fucking intense. I tripped acid about a month ago for the first time. In my head, I have this attitude...a credo so to speak:: "Go for broke or go the fuck home...". I had 4 hits of acid that day, and 1 ditsy girl to share it with. I ended up downing around 2 1/2 hits...boy oh boy was that a fucking mistake. I was completely depersonalized, I could not form any rational thoughts whatsoever, and my mind was literally just FUCKED. It was a miserable experience and I was glad when it was finally over.
After a few weeks of debating, I decided I'd give the great LSD one last shot. So much hype around it, I mean this drug nearly changed the fucking country. Or at least that's what people would have you believe...and...well, I believe it. I received 4 hits of some Hoffman blotter (if you don't know who Albert Hoffman is, WIKI that shit motherfuckers...). I did one hit Friday night, not really knowing what to expect. To my surprise and utter delight, it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.
I walked outside somewhere around 3 AM Saturday morning, still tripping but for sure coming down pretty hard. I'd wasted the majority of my trip sitting in this room staring at WinAmp's Milkdrop like a retard while listening to songs I've heard 2,000 times (*not an actual figure*), yet those songs never get old. They are my comfort songs. Mostly older shit. Nearly all older shit. Milkdrop was just fucking amazing on acid, but I kind of felt like I'd cheated myself by not spending more time outside.
When I walked out there Saturday morning, I looked up at the night sky, and I could literally see so so many stars. More stars/planets/clusters than I'd ever witnessed in my life. And what's weird is I could actually SEE the distance between myself and those stars. It's really hard to explain to someone who's never done acid, but man oh man. It was truly an amazing sight to see. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Somewhere out there, there very well could be an intelligent life form (well, at least as intelligent as homo sapiens, which isn't saying much) staring back at that same night sky, looking at a little dot of light that just happens to be Earth. Wondering, just as I was, if there was someone else out there looking back. It was a truly wonderful thing to experience, to be able to stop going from A to Z. To be able to stop and recognize that there are other letters in between, and that there is so many little things going around you that seem insignificant, but are in reality responsible for your existence.
Not many people share my enthusiasm for space. It's one thing that baffles me. How could you NOT look up at the night sky and be completely fucking amazed at what you are seeing? Are you that fucking dense? Blah.
I digress, LSD really allowed me to do some introspective thinking about my life. I came to some realizations about myself that I have been ignoring for so long. Things that have hampered my evolution as an adult male. My dependance on my family, despite my long held belief otherwise...my lack of ambition, my dwelling on the past instead of the present and more importantly the future. My drug addiction, the way I treat people around me...I am not the person I want to be. I really am an asshole.
I'm ready to change that, but I know realistically this is something that will not change overnight. It's going to take one thing that I currently lack in my life, discipline. Forcing myself to do things that I otherwise would not do, not because I have to, but because I MUST in order to better myself as a human being. I need to set some new goals for myself, and take steps forward in order to accomplish those goals. I have to start living life...
The guy who hooked me up with the 'Cid has changed my life, whether he realizes it or not. It's fucking insane how these little pieces of paper, so fucking little, pack such a punch that one little piece can change your entire perspective on life as well as change the way you think about other people. I no longer consider myself a misanthrope. Misanthropes are bitter people, miserable people who bring nothing but misery with them wherever they go. I don't want to be that guy anymore...
Last night I attempted to recreate the magic of Friday night, but I just sort of felt more weirded out than anything. Mild hallucinations, but no overwhelming euphoria and sense of well-being that I had the previous evening. It was still and all and fun experience, but I now realize that these sort of experiences should definitely be limited to once or twice a year. Just to keep yourself in check. Just to set the ego aside, do some introspective thinking...and to see the little things in life that make existance so fucking wonderful for what they are, as opposed to neglecting them due to ignorance.
I hope everyone had a good weekend, and if you are reading this walk outside tonight. Look up at the night sky. Really look at it. You'll be pleasantly surprised if you look with the right eyes...
