IGNVS
Bluelighter
8( 8( 8( 8( 8( 8( 8( 8( 8( 8( 8(
this was my first experience with LSD
Dose
~1.2 hit white blotter (cut by yours truly from a strip of the stuff)
.1 sliver off of another hit of white blotter
1 hit of purple blotter (from a freind that lives in texas)
set/setting
Destin, Florida... august the tenth 07
me and two other freinds would drop (they had 1 hit each of the white blotter) and sleep in a tent we would set up on the beach. me and freind (L) drove here from sunny orlando
for six hours to meet with freind (D), and his family, who came to Destin on vacation from texas. late thursday on the way (and only miles from the hotel) we had an encounter with the 5-0, after barley geting away and learning how to drive a stickshift in 20 seconds I quickly blazed the expereince out of our memory, and long into the night. a quick rest and a sunny morning later i met D's parents, brothers, sister, extended family and grandparents (1 hotel room + a beach house, for his cousins and grandparents). we killed the day until it was time to drop around 6 (for the sunset of course). D's parents blaze, but their not cool with other drugs (good thing well be sleeping on the beach, haha). we kept the acid in the hotel refridgerator, which kinda sketched me out, but it was all good. . my set was excited and releived i still had the acid (the cops didnt want to search our car after my freind searched for over an hour for his paperwork). all will be good, i have a clear mind, weve finaly made it to Destin! the beach is absolutly beautiful, this weekend is gonna kick asssssss.
Chronometer
T-30 to 10 : set up tent and go up to the hotel room to get the cid
T+0 : 6pm ~1.3 white blotters under the tounge
T+10mins : walk down to the tent on the beach, tell B (D's bro) to leave
T+25mins : swallow blotter, something feels special.
T+45mins : bite into purple blotter. ive waited 2 hours right? !Damn thats bitter!
T+time starts illuding me ~ an hour now : back up in the hotel room (D's parents want us to eat with the fam... riiigggghhhhhttttttttt... good thing when we get up there their already gone). my this towel is playfull!.. woah. that curtain just moved
T+5 minutes later : IGNVS in wonderland
.... lets go back down to the beach (first we hit up the pool, water and psychedelics go together, they were made for eachother)
T+2hrs : hookah set up, tent check, water check, sand...sandy, time... not. things are realy moving all over the place now, hold still damnit! definatly tripppinngggggggggg hard (haha)
T+2hrs~45mins : sunset is amazing! the waves are moving so fast, this sand is so fun, my thoughts are flowinggggggg so easily, i wish i had my guitar
T+3 : Leftovers! who wants to eat? D does. back up to the hotel room. hey isnt crossing trafic on acid suposed to be hard?
T+nowimfucked : "hey mr, need some glowsticks..how bout a strobe light?" "(to D and L (whos (sweaty) face happens to be dripping to the floor, oh and WOW this table is fucking cool, the walls, o. m. g. best visuals ever (almost on par with DMT, a bit slower though)))... your freind is trippin on something eles, are you on XTC?, no seriously what did you take?" "im bakkkd"
in an atempt to fix my paranoia on the beach i decide to invite B to help me make decisions.
T+3 +a bowl of spagheti, a walk to the beach - paranoid/mindfuck+ 10000elevator rides = : this sand, eternal moments, deep deep thoughts, increasingly intense visuals, crabs, hookah smoking, communication without verbal representation, slllowwwllly loosing ego (didnt know thats what it was yet though).
(just now checked what time i called some freinds to put a T+ and their calls are not in my log, turns out i didnt talk to either of them. damn just found that out)
T+4hrs 45mins : back to the hotel. the hotel room i like the hotel room, paranoia in the tent, paranoia in the hotel is asleep, nope "what are you guys doing coming back and forth, i think you all should sleep up here". back to the beach. (thanks alot B, you fucking stoned 15 yr old (hes tripping on life harder than im tripping on acid)
T+-+-+- its reaaall late, cant we stay here forever? i could stand in the surf for the rest of eternity, these crab hunters dont mind my eyes as big as the ocean. but i sure dont want any cops smelling our hotboxed tent.
how the fuck did we pack up this tent? ok. back up to the hotel room.
T+ 5hrs 25mins : "hey what are you kids doing here" *i knew we shouldnt have gone this way, D! the pool is closed! "were going back to the hotel" *confusion* make it stop! everything will just be better when we get back to the fucking hotel! "you kids should go around this way theres no gate over there" THANK YOU ... *ow, whats tha owwww fuck fuck fuck* gates grass saws. you can do anything your always working remember? FUCK YOU why did you send us this way security guard? "my bad, heh heh, didnt know it would be that deep"
T+ 5hrs 40mins : back in the hotel, time to get some sleep? oh fuck. shower? write? wheres a pen? kinda... lets watch tv. at this point the acid was kicking my ass up and down in and out and in directions unknown to monkey and man. we couldnt find the remote so the tv was stuck on the main channle where breif infomercials and a woman telling us our options on the tele. if you are ever in this position put your head between you knees and kiss you ass goodbye. the tv kept repeating itself. repeating itself. repeating itself. i am going insaine. the visuals were still as intense as ever and growing when i fought it. i wanted this to be over. NOW.
T+ 6 hrs : freinds are asleep. ENTER THE VOID. writhing body, unsatisfaction, gritty sand taste. my body becomes a tounge tasting tipsy textiles of the hotel room before i completely loose myself and give in to blackness. this part of my trip reminds me of the old man and the sea, where he is fighting the sword fish (my ego) for a long fucking time. i loose consciousness,
T+ ~12hrs : and awake to find that the picture on the wall can hold its shape. thank GOD. but why am i still not satisfied? im still feeling the acid quite a bit, and do for the rest of the day. my body slowly puts itself back together. nerve by nerve my senses slowly return to normal.
Visuals
near the begining of the trip i had the "classic" acid type visuals you would think of when someone describes lsd to you before you actualy do it. dancing furnature, lamp posts, curtains, "playfull" towels dancing around. all that and a bag of chips. down at the beach the first few times the waves would twist and warp and move reallll fast. at first looking up into the sky over the ocean was the most amazing thing. the stars and nebulas and galaxies i could see. no moon. everything was moving in the sky. back at the hotel things would be sliding all over the place with a jewel like apearence to them, colors were similar, but more intense, and sometimes diferent. i had the worst case of synethsesia ever, sounds and feelings took on a visual aspect.
paterns. everything was like smoothe geometric paterns moving over themselves melting and twisting all over. when i was in the shower the water would hit my body and swirl into my skin, my skin was like plated armour on a knight made of fantastic colors and changing paterns! the color white was an interesting color, and colors similar to white, cream, or off white. words dont do them good. paterns paterns paterns. in the sand i drew paterns and all of the foot prints in the sand were moving around in a paterned way. i could have watched them forever. crabs were still crabs tho. nothing special about white crabs. faces though, oh faces took on the strangest twisted expressions and apearencees. many times it was quite scary. when D's mom was questioning me i looked to see if i was the only one that looked fucked up, and when i looked at L his face was contorted and moving in a very scary way and driping to the floor.. i almost said, his face is melting and your telling me IMMM the one tripping. LOL. when i was writing a poem (which i will post as soon as it araives from texas via myspace) the colors of the ink would turn a neon blue and float off the page in a paterned way. one writing i traced the paterns and wound up scribiling out the whole writing. it was very beautiful. when i watched tv the man on one side of the boflex comercial would move real fast, and on the other real slow (i think part of it may be due to him actualy doing that in the comercail to show how fast and efficeint the boflex is compared to the other product, fuckers). the tv lady had arms that were biger than her face, and the proportions of people were constantly changing, now that fucks with your head. the coolest thing i saw was probably the couch i was sleeping on, the patern on it looked like it was geting more intense and growing deeper and deeper fractaly at the rate of something that something driped with H2SO4 would melt away, and it looked like it was melting away, with every layer deeper and more sophisticated.
with my eyes closed i saw things too. at one point in the tent D moved and i simultaniously saw him in three places when i closed my eyes, once over me leaning over, once checking outside, once standing up strait. the coal on top of the hooka was simpily magical and kept shooting sparks everywhere, i cannot describe the visuals from that. when i was entering the void, with my eyes closed i could see a never ending diamond shaped blackness in my right eye, and in my left those evermelting lines crawling around and changing shape and color. when my head was strait looking at the celing (eyes closed) i saw this emerging patern changing morphing melty droopy crawling all over itself. it represented things, ill get into that in a bit. every visual would constantly move like a reaction with no equilibrium. there were pleanty of others that i simpily cannot describe, and others i cannot describe not only for the visual factor, but also the mixing of senses. simpily amazing visuals.
Sounds
3 words for ya--choped and skewed. that and sound distortion that stretches to your wildest imaginations. for the first time in my life i could hear my voice the way other people heard it, like i was another individual listening to myself. i also spoke with a rather british tinge to my voice, and along with other things messing with my mind i proceded to talk similarly to john lennon when he fucks with people. (damn i understand that guy so good now, the essence of his speach and thought process is that of lsd, everything about the man). yeh? yeah. other people might talk and their voice would be super fast and high pitch. then a second later super low pitch and fast, or slow depending on how my mind was working at the time. the tv lady kept saying things backwards and the voice did not match up with her lips. when people spoke i had no idea what they were trying to say half the time. my language was not. the sounds i made made perfect sense though, and i could speak perfect glinglilsh. colors were sounds too. and i had a certain tune playing through my mind the whole trip (tell ya later). that kind of drove things for me.
Feeling/taste
i would feel something on one part of my body and expereince it somewhere eles completly, sometimes i didnt even know where it is or what body part i didnt know i had. taste, hunger, and feeling all blended together as one supersense, and hunger blended with the feeling of quest and satisfaction (later, not gonna explain it now). sand was a prevailing concept in my tounge. shells, waves, tents, cloth, clothing, air, everything. the mix of marijuana and tobacco we were smoking tasted like the word hhttttKarmAkthhhhhh (the word Karma, but with a prevailing sence of going ttttthhhhhh) or turkish sh sh sh sh. it was also the color brown, with a hint of pale creamy yellow sand. nasty but interesting taste. the taste of the cold bed sheets in the hotel drove me completely insaine. my body was a tounge. they kept falling on me from every direction. did i have sand in my mouth? i actualy didnt mind the feeling of sand, i prefered the feeling of the beach to the hotel now. another interesting thing was i was afraid to touch myself sometimes because i feared i was dirty (and felt dirty) on parts of my body that wernt actualy dirty, then got the greatest pleasure after touching my arm and feeling so smooth in another part of my body.
the water was awesome. i didnt want to put my head under, but when i did it felt amazing. the whole time i was at conflict with the sense of feel, it confused me more than anything. it tricked me more than anything eles. this sense proceeded well into the next day, where i could hardly eat anything because it tasted so bad, but i was still hungry, just as soon as i got the food i was no longer hungry. ill have to explain this further when i talk about my satisfaction sense. remember i also felt colors and sounds and heard and saw my feeling.
thoughts
oh boy howmai gonna explain this. listen to john lennon interviews, when hes not making any sense at all (but only making sense that way). lets start with a concept, you would think of something, and suddenly start a long list of words off of it that had everything and nothing to do at all with the thing you were starting with. they would also rhyme (at least at the time). eventualy things got realy goofy. as you got further and further from game reality the more sense things would make and the less sence you would be making. the deepest most philisophical thoughts you could imagine would present themselves to you from seemingly nowhere. damn i wish i had my guitar on this trip! everything had a perculiar curiosity about it. my sense of time was completly shot, sometimes things felt as if they were going in reverse. confusion crept in if you tried to hold something steady or bring your thoughts together for more than a picosecond. conclusions were made and minds were opened. communication was effortless, unless you were making an effort to talk. when i was strugling with my ego it led me to interesting places and lonliness that my mind couldnt before imagine. these thoughts led me to other things. i find now it is imposible to explain all of or any for that matter of my thoughts while on lsd because i would have to map out my entire mind for you to come close to the understanding of its networking on psychedelic drugs.
sense of work, feeling digestion, satisfaction, the search for love, within you and without you... in essence everything
early on while i was in the tent contemplating, living, breathing, digesting, i found my headspace geting further and further from my freinds, and more focused on myself. i started freaking a little bit, realizing what i was in for, so i called my freinds and talked to them for a while (i actualy didnt, as my records just told me). i felt bad that i was calling them for a come down. and when i would stop tripping as intensely i would want to trip more, then when i was tripping harder i wanted to trip less. this observation led me to drive myself to look for something to occupy this body and mind with. when i would find it i would look for something eles. i denied. as paranoia crept in me further and further i found myself strugling more and more. confusion took over. the logical desisions i was making before were torn apart by fear, confusion, and now this new sense that got mixed in with my quest for satisfaction : hunger. i was starving for something. what? food? no. fuck. how do i feed myself not food? going back and forth to the hotel didnt work. i found myself in a rather pacing state. a man at war with himself. i made desisions that were hurting my freinds, driving them back and forth with me. i saw myself as a decision maker, the one who was keeping the group together. something was telling me if we split one of us would wake up dead. they had apointed me their psychotic leader. our "guide" was more clueless than i was. were fucked. back in the hotel i was beging for the rise of the sun and the end of the confusion, the end of MY hunger. the conclusion to this freakout can be found here : http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=337498 post number two.
so it realy did turn out good.
much needed.
extension, commentary, and reflection
i had daft punk's harder better faster stronger stuck in my head throughout the entire trip. this greatly effected every aspect of the trip. in the sand while i was making paterns it was to the music. the essence of the visuals was that of the way the voice breaks down further and further until you cant understand the words, but only hear the beautiful music they make. the visuals, the thoughts, the sounds, the... WORK. the last words of the song effected me greatly while i was realizing things in the void. our work is never over. damn. thats fucking deep. think about it, and please read that link i gave yall! thats the most important part of this trip report! i just cant explain the impact of that song. it was the essence of my body's chemical reactions, and it helped me "work it out" and accept things.
for days after i found and explored a wonderful new world as i was peiced back together. everything took on new meaning, some things seemed completly absurd, others more practical. i learned more in that night than i had my entire life. i realized that this whole damn world is just tripping itself into existance. i realized how sad it is that a majority of people living today are tripping over their thoughts more than people tripping on drugs. so many people are living, breathing, working, for the same force that kills steals and destroys, and keeps them all so soo blind. now that ive been introduced to my mind, i find life will be a constant working strugle, and satisfaction to help others, and put myself before them. i have found sight and cycles. i have found love.
LSD is a wonderful tool if given to the right mind, and a terrible weapon to others. im not sure if i will ever again partake in its ingestion and experience, unless i find the need to, and if it is in gods will. im sure my second expereince will be much more beautiful than the first, much diferent, and much better thought out. im still finding things and learning every day, still making realizations and questioning things, or rather leting answers come to me :D. i wish you all have the opertunity in your lives to expereince an awakening like this, be it through lsd or other methods, just remember it dosnt need to be through drugs!
i would like to thank everyone on bluelight that has contributed to the knowledge of these substances, and continued on in conversations even at their darkest. people here realy do great work. thank you.
i just have to add this funny quote at the end. it was a clip from a conversation me and B were having.
B-" your eyes look so big i could swim in them"
Me-"reaaally?"
B-" yeah, i could swim in them"
Me- " .." (thinking, word after word, cant explain cannntt explain)
B-"..."
...
Me-" uhp.. uh.. mm. yeah. er.. well.. yeah,.... IM SWIMMING IN THEM!"
PEACE N LOVE
stay cool
- fire in the void
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
roacode_sublingual
this was my first experience with LSD
Dose
~1.2 hit white blotter (cut by yours truly from a strip of the stuff)
.1 sliver off of another hit of white blotter
1 hit of purple blotter (from a freind that lives in texas)
set/setting
Destin, Florida... august the tenth 07
me and two other freinds would drop (they had 1 hit each of the white blotter) and sleep in a tent we would set up on the beach. me and freind (L) drove here from sunny orlando
for six hours to meet with freind (D), and his family, who came to Destin on vacation from texas. late thursday on the way (and only miles from the hotel) we had an encounter with the 5-0, after barley geting away and learning how to drive a stickshift in 20 seconds I quickly blazed the expereince out of our memory, and long into the night. a quick rest and a sunny morning later i met D's parents, brothers, sister, extended family and grandparents (1 hotel room + a beach house, for his cousins and grandparents). we killed the day until it was time to drop around 6 (for the sunset of course). D's parents blaze, but their not cool with other drugs (good thing well be sleeping on the beach, haha). we kept the acid in the hotel refridgerator, which kinda sketched me out, but it was all good. . my set was excited and releived i still had the acid (the cops didnt want to search our car after my freind searched for over an hour for his paperwork). all will be good, i have a clear mind, weve finaly made it to Destin! the beach is absolutly beautiful, this weekend is gonna kick asssssss.Chronometer
T-30 to 10 : set up tent and go up to the hotel room to get the cid
T+0 : 6pm ~1.3 white blotters under the tounge
T+10mins : walk down to the tent on the beach, tell B (D's bro) to leave
T+25mins : swallow blotter, something feels special.
T+45mins : bite into purple blotter. ive waited 2 hours right? !Damn thats bitter!
T+time starts illuding me ~ an hour now : back up in the hotel room (D's parents want us to eat with the fam... riiigggghhhhhttttttttt... good thing when we get up there their already gone). my this towel is playfull!.. woah. that curtain just moved
T+5 minutes later : IGNVS in wonderland
.... lets go back down to the beach (first we hit up the pool, water and psychedelics go together, they were made for eachother)
T+2hrs : hookah set up, tent check, water check, sand...sandy, time... not. things are realy moving all over the place now, hold still damnit! definatly tripppinngggggggggg hard (haha)
T+2hrs~45mins : sunset is amazing! the waves are moving so fast, this sand is so fun, my thoughts are flowinggggggg so easily, i wish i had my guitar
T+3 : Leftovers! who wants to eat? D does. back up to the hotel room. hey isnt crossing trafic on acid suposed to be hard?
T+nowimfucked : "hey mr, need some glowsticks..how bout a strobe light?" "(to D and L (whos (sweaty) face happens to be dripping to the floor, oh and WOW this table is fucking cool, the walls, o. m. g. best visuals ever (almost on par with DMT, a bit slower though)))... your freind is trippin on something eles, are you on XTC?, no seriously what did you take?" "im bakkkd"
in an atempt to fix my paranoia on the beach i decide to invite B to help me make decisions.
T+3 +a bowl of spagheti, a walk to the beach - paranoid/mindfuck+ 10000elevator rides = : this sand, eternal moments, deep deep thoughts, increasingly intense visuals, crabs, hookah smoking, communication without verbal representation, slllowwwllly loosing ego (didnt know thats what it was yet though).
(just now checked what time i called some freinds to put a T+ and their calls are not in my log, turns out i didnt talk to either of them. damn just found that out)
T+4hrs 45mins : back to the hotel. the hotel room i like the hotel room, paranoia in the tent, paranoia in the hotel is asleep, nope "what are you guys doing coming back and forth, i think you all should sleep up here". back to the beach. (thanks alot B, you fucking stoned 15 yr old (hes tripping on life harder than im tripping on acid)
T+-+-+- its reaaall late, cant we stay here forever? i could stand in the surf for the rest of eternity, these crab hunters dont mind my eyes as big as the ocean. but i sure dont want any cops smelling our hotboxed tent.
how the fuck did we pack up this tent? ok. back up to the hotel room.
T+ 5hrs 25mins : "hey what are you kids doing here" *i knew we shouldnt have gone this way, D! the pool is closed! "were going back to the hotel" *confusion* make it stop! everything will just be better when we get back to the fucking hotel! "you kids should go around this way theres no gate over there" THANK YOU ... *ow, whats tha owwww fuck fuck fuck* gates grass saws. you can do anything your always working remember? FUCK YOU why did you send us this way security guard? "my bad, heh heh, didnt know it would be that deep"
T+ 5hrs 40mins : back in the hotel, time to get some sleep? oh fuck. shower? write? wheres a pen? kinda... lets watch tv. at this point the acid was kicking my ass up and down in and out and in directions unknown to monkey and man. we couldnt find the remote so the tv was stuck on the main channle where breif infomercials and a woman telling us our options on the tele. if you are ever in this position put your head between you knees and kiss you ass goodbye. the tv kept repeating itself. repeating itself. repeating itself. i am going insaine. the visuals were still as intense as ever and growing when i fought it. i wanted this to be over. NOW.
T+ 6 hrs : freinds are asleep. ENTER THE VOID. writhing body, unsatisfaction, gritty sand taste. my body becomes a tounge tasting tipsy textiles of the hotel room before i completely loose myself and give in to blackness. this part of my trip reminds me of the old man and the sea, where he is fighting the sword fish (my ego) for a long fucking time. i loose consciousness,
T+ ~12hrs : and awake to find that the picture on the wall can hold its shape. thank GOD. but why am i still not satisfied? im still feeling the acid quite a bit, and do for the rest of the day. my body slowly puts itself back together. nerve by nerve my senses slowly return to normal.
Visuals
near the begining of the trip i had the "classic" acid type visuals you would think of when someone describes lsd to you before you actualy do it. dancing furnature, lamp posts, curtains, "playfull" towels dancing around. all that and a bag of chips. down at the beach the first few times the waves would twist and warp and move reallll fast. at first looking up into the sky over the ocean was the most amazing thing. the stars and nebulas and galaxies i could see. no moon. everything was moving in the sky. back at the hotel things would be sliding all over the place with a jewel like apearence to them, colors were similar, but more intense, and sometimes diferent. i had the worst case of synethsesia ever, sounds and feelings took on a visual aspect.
paterns. everything was like smoothe geometric paterns moving over themselves melting and twisting all over. when i was in the shower the water would hit my body and swirl into my skin, my skin was like plated armour on a knight made of fantastic colors and changing paterns! the color white was an interesting color, and colors similar to white, cream, or off white. words dont do them good. paterns paterns paterns. in the sand i drew paterns and all of the foot prints in the sand were moving around in a paterned way. i could have watched them forever. crabs were still crabs tho. nothing special about white crabs. faces though, oh faces took on the strangest twisted expressions and apearencees. many times it was quite scary. when D's mom was questioning me i looked to see if i was the only one that looked fucked up, and when i looked at L his face was contorted and moving in a very scary way and driping to the floor.. i almost said, his face is melting and your telling me IMMM the one tripping. LOL. when i was writing a poem (which i will post as soon as it araives from texas via myspace) the colors of the ink would turn a neon blue and float off the page in a paterned way. one writing i traced the paterns and wound up scribiling out the whole writing. it was very beautiful. when i watched tv the man on one side of the boflex comercial would move real fast, and on the other real slow (i think part of it may be due to him actualy doing that in the comercail to show how fast and efficeint the boflex is compared to the other product, fuckers). the tv lady had arms that were biger than her face, and the proportions of people were constantly changing, now that fucks with your head. the coolest thing i saw was probably the couch i was sleeping on, the patern on it looked like it was geting more intense and growing deeper and deeper fractaly at the rate of something that something driped with H2SO4 would melt away, and it looked like it was melting away, with every layer deeper and more sophisticated.
with my eyes closed i saw things too. at one point in the tent D moved and i simultaniously saw him in three places when i closed my eyes, once over me leaning over, once checking outside, once standing up strait. the coal on top of the hooka was simpily magical and kept shooting sparks everywhere, i cannot describe the visuals from that. when i was entering the void, with my eyes closed i could see a never ending diamond shaped blackness in my right eye, and in my left those evermelting lines crawling around and changing shape and color. when my head was strait looking at the celing (eyes closed) i saw this emerging patern changing morphing melty droopy crawling all over itself. it represented things, ill get into that in a bit. every visual would constantly move like a reaction with no equilibrium. there were pleanty of others that i simpily cannot describe, and others i cannot describe not only for the visual factor, but also the mixing of senses. simpily amazing visuals.
Sounds
3 words for ya--choped and skewed. that and sound distortion that stretches to your wildest imaginations. for the first time in my life i could hear my voice the way other people heard it, like i was another individual listening to myself. i also spoke with a rather british tinge to my voice, and along with other things messing with my mind i proceded to talk similarly to john lennon when he fucks with people. (damn i understand that guy so good now, the essence of his speach and thought process is that of lsd, everything about the man). yeh? yeah. other people might talk and their voice would be super fast and high pitch. then a second later super low pitch and fast, or slow depending on how my mind was working at the time. the tv lady kept saying things backwards and the voice did not match up with her lips. when people spoke i had no idea what they were trying to say half the time. my language was not. the sounds i made made perfect sense though, and i could speak perfect glinglilsh. colors were sounds too. and i had a certain tune playing through my mind the whole trip (tell ya later). that kind of drove things for me.
Feeling/taste
i would feel something on one part of my body and expereince it somewhere eles completly, sometimes i didnt even know where it is or what body part i didnt know i had. taste, hunger, and feeling all blended together as one supersense, and hunger blended with the feeling of quest and satisfaction (later, not gonna explain it now). sand was a prevailing concept in my tounge. shells, waves, tents, cloth, clothing, air, everything. the mix of marijuana and tobacco we were smoking tasted like the word hhttttKarmAkthhhhhh (the word Karma, but with a prevailing sence of going ttttthhhhhh) or turkish sh sh sh sh. it was also the color brown, with a hint of pale creamy yellow sand. nasty but interesting taste. the taste of the cold bed sheets in the hotel drove me completely insaine. my body was a tounge. they kept falling on me from every direction. did i have sand in my mouth? i actualy didnt mind the feeling of sand, i prefered the feeling of the beach to the hotel now. another interesting thing was i was afraid to touch myself sometimes because i feared i was dirty (and felt dirty) on parts of my body that wernt actualy dirty, then got the greatest pleasure after touching my arm and feeling so smooth in another part of my body.
the water was awesome. i didnt want to put my head under, but when i did it felt amazing. the whole time i was at conflict with the sense of feel, it confused me more than anything. it tricked me more than anything eles. this sense proceeded well into the next day, where i could hardly eat anything because it tasted so bad, but i was still hungry, just as soon as i got the food i was no longer hungry. ill have to explain this further when i talk about my satisfaction sense. remember i also felt colors and sounds and heard and saw my feeling.
thoughts
oh boy howmai gonna explain this. listen to john lennon interviews, when hes not making any sense at all (but only making sense that way
). lets start with a concept, you would think of something, and suddenly start a long list of words off of it that had everything and nothing to do at all with the thing you were starting with. they would also rhyme (at least at the time). eventualy things got realy goofy. as you got further and further from game reality the more sense things would make and the less sence you would be making. the deepest most philisophical thoughts you could imagine would present themselves to you from seemingly nowhere. damn i wish i had my guitar on this trip! everything had a perculiar curiosity about it. my sense of time was completly shot, sometimes things felt as if they were going in reverse. confusion crept in if you tried to hold something steady or bring your thoughts together for more than a picosecond. conclusions were made and minds were opened. communication was effortless, unless you were making an effort to talk. when i was strugling with my ego it led me to interesting places and lonliness that my mind couldnt before imagine. these thoughts led me to other things. i find now it is imposible to explain all of or any for that matter of my thoughts while on lsd because i would have to map out my entire mind for you to come close to the understanding of its networking on psychedelic drugs. sense of work, feeling digestion, satisfaction, the search for love, within you and without you... in essence everything
early on while i was in the tent contemplating, living, breathing, digesting, i found my headspace geting further and further from my freinds, and more focused on myself. i started freaking a little bit, realizing what i was in for, so i called my freinds and talked to them for a while (i actualy didnt, as my records just told me). i felt bad that i was calling them for a come down. and when i would stop tripping as intensely i would want to trip more, then when i was tripping harder i wanted to trip less. this observation led me to drive myself to look for something to occupy this body and mind with. when i would find it i would look for something eles. i denied. as paranoia crept in me further and further i found myself strugling more and more. confusion took over. the logical desisions i was making before were torn apart by fear, confusion, and now this new sense that got mixed in with my quest for satisfaction : hunger. i was starving for something. what? food? no. fuck. how do i feed myself not food? going back and forth to the hotel didnt work. i found myself in a rather pacing state. a man at war with himself. i made desisions that were hurting my freinds, driving them back and forth with me. i saw myself as a decision maker, the one who was keeping the group together. something was telling me if we split one of us would wake up dead. they had apointed me their psychotic leader. our "guide" was more clueless than i was. were fucked. back in the hotel i was beging for the rise of the sun and the end of the confusion, the end of MY hunger. the conclusion to this freakout can be found here : http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=337498 post number two.
so it realy did turn out good.
much needed.
extension, commentary, and reflection
i had daft punk's harder better faster stronger stuck in my head throughout the entire trip. this greatly effected every aspect of the trip. in the sand while i was making paterns it was to the music. the essence of the visuals was that of the way the voice breaks down further and further until you cant understand the words, but only hear the beautiful music they make. the visuals, the thoughts, the sounds, the... WORK. the last words of the song effected me greatly while i was realizing things in the void. our work is never over. damn. thats fucking deep. think about it, and please read that link i gave yall! thats the most important part of this trip report! i just cant explain the impact of that song. it was the essence of my body's chemical reactions, and it helped me "work it out" and accept things.
for days after i found and explored a wonderful new world as i was peiced back together. everything took on new meaning, some things seemed completly absurd, others more practical. i learned more in that night than i had my entire life. i realized that this whole damn world is just tripping itself into existance. i realized how sad it is that a majority of people living today are tripping over their thoughts more than people tripping on drugs. so many people are living, breathing, working, for the same force that kills steals and destroys, and keeps them all so soo blind. now that ive been introduced to my mind, i find life will be a constant working strugle, and satisfaction to help others, and put myself before them. i have found sight and cycles. i have found love.
LSD is a wonderful tool if given to the right mind, and a terrible weapon to others. im not sure if i will ever again partake in its ingestion and experience, unless i find the need to, and if it is in gods will. im sure my second expereince will be much more beautiful than the first, much diferent, and much better thought out. im still finding things and learning every day, still making realizations and questioning things, or rather leting answers come to me :D. i wish you all have the opertunity in your lives to expereince an awakening like this, be it through lsd or other methods, just remember it dosnt need to be through drugs!
i would like to thank everyone on bluelight that has contributed to the knowledge of these substances, and continued on in conversations even at their darkest. people here realy do great work. thank you.
i just have to add this funny quote at the end. it was a clip from a conversation me and B were having.
B-" your eyes look so big i could swim in them"
Me-"reaaally?"
B-" yeah, i could swim in them"
Me- " .." (thinking, word after word, cant explain cannntt explain)
B-"..."
...
Me-" uhp.. uh.. mm. yeah. er.. well.. yeah,.... IM SWIMMING IN THEM!"
PEACE N LOVE
stay cool
- fire in the void
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