Hey fellows/fellas, long time no post. I haven't had any worthwhile experiences to report, UNTIL NOW.
Last night, ~20:00 it was raining hard. I was alone and listening to music, having a smoke when R stopped by. He was soaken wet, as he lives about a half mile away. "R!" i say, "what brings you this far in the rain buddy?"
"Well pal, I have a present for us. I've decided I want to take a journey; I'm ready again. My main goal is for spiritual reasons but I also want to have a good time listening to your tasteful collection of music," he said, with a tone of voice forced to be calm, as he was excited and nervous. R had a very bad trip about a year back; supposedly he tried to hurt himself because he was so intoxicated on cid and beer, and was going through huge mood swings in a bad atmosphere; a party with drunk people.
He pulls out 7 little cm^2 pieces of pinkish purple paper with blue wavy lines on it. He excitedly says that it is called "electromagnetica" and the wavy lines were EM waves, drawn correctly with the separate E and M fields perpendicular. Very cool! I love that kinda stuff, especially to contemplate how amazing light is when tripping. This was by far the coolest idea I've seen for blotter.
We make some small preparations such as getting music setup and doing some cleanup. I take 3, he takes 4, at 21:00. He had no idea how strong they were, it was a new batch and the person who he got it from gave him a discount to be his "guinea pig" with it to let him know what its like.
I pull the curtains aside on my big window and dim the lights, turn on my novelties (laser pod, lightning lamp, lava lamp, waterfall, SA-laser). not the strobe light though). Very soon I feel a zzizzy vibe in me. This word I made up to describe the onset of trypts. "I feel zizzy!" R laughs, maybe to humor me. Then he reports his is also coming up...
The comeup was steep. I was getting nervous, but trying not to be. I just didn't expect it to be an ego-loss experience tonight, as I've been pretty tired and strung out from studies. I wasn't prepared and naturally a little resistant. My nervousness was temporarily replaced with wonder and awe looking at all the 3-d geometrics forming on my ceiling, in the gentle orangish light of the lava lamp. We both said "Wow" about the same time.
Then, very unexpectedly, a loud thud on my door. I said "shhh!" and ignored it. Then a louder thump. I was frightened. There was no way for me to tell who it was. Then a very loud, threatening knock. R runs into my closet/bedroom and hides under the bed. I go over to the door and yell, "who is it?"
No answer. Then an attempt to turn the knob. I had it locked. I am in survival mode now, but just barely. I am almost too out of it to think. Everything is glowing and swirling, I barely know who I am, or who R is and what hes doing here, and I surely don't know what this knocking is about.
"Go away or I'm calling the cops! I have a baseball bat and gun fucker!" I yell. The nervousness in my voice was obvious. I try looking under the door. I only see darkness. They walk away. I try to look out the windows to see them but don't. This put us both in a very uneasy mood the rest of the night. I figured out later that someone tracked me down who owned a wireless network I tampered with and sort of accidently screwed up. Oops!
We sit there, curtains all closed up, in the dark. Trance plays very quietly; we are afraid to turn it up to a more pleasant volume; we are paranoid. The acid then peaks, and horror unleashes. R starts making silenced panicked cries. I start shivering. I think of what a horrible world we live in. That we are all most likely accidents; a super-evolved chemical fluke first arising almost 4 billion years ago. All the horrible atrocities, all the ignorant religions, and all the evil peoples energy was entering my consciousness at a violent rate. I wanted to take it all in then sacrifice myself, almost like a Jesus, dying for everyones sin. This idea seemed almost logical, but I knew not to go that far.
"This life.. can be good.." I said out loud. "Its not all bad, its what we make it. We can make good out of the bad". Saying this helped about 1%. R then stood up and yelled, "I can't take it anymore! Where is he? Get him! Let's beat!" then he picks up my baseball bat. I stand up and gently snatch it. "Whoever it was is probably gone, don't worry."
He then picks up a coaster and throws it at my lightning lamp. Later he said it was because he felt evil vibes from it and thought it had some connection with the "electromagnetic" name of the blotter, synergizing badly. I want to just be alone now, and maybe take a shower but R is out of it. I am too. I am getting horrible, detailed images just bursting around in my head. I lay down on the floor and hold my head. What a nightmare, i think. "But it will be over, i promise" I say aloud, to both of us.
Soon, the intensity wears down along with our adrenaline/fear. I take a shower. In there, the water felt like it was soaking into me and my brain. It felt more odd than pleasant. I heard strange yells and voices that caused me to turn the water off a few times to make sure R was ok. After getting dressed, I did feel better, but this trip was a dud spiritually or with anything beneficial, so I pull us out each 3 ambien. We pop the 30mg and almost right away get very talkative and relaxed. Then blankness... I woke up at 14:00 feeling absolutely horrible and finding there was 7 more ambien missing. The place was trashed, mostly with food items half eaten. R soon wakes up also, only recalling me trying to give him more ambien, and him accepting just 2, and me saying "fine more for me!" and popping 5, then soon passing out flat on the floor.
Well, it wasn't a great trip, but a strange one. After recovering I realized, hey there probably isn't a god, and I am atheist for sure instead of agnostic, but that doesn't mean I am not good or can't feel happy and with purpose. I can try to make good, and try to have faith in myself instead of a God, especially not a vengeful Christian bs God. I can't have faith in humans though, our species won't be alive for too many more generations. I still believe there could be an afterlife, since consciousness might be electrical and we come part of some vast electric field or something! Who knows!
Last night, ~20:00 it was raining hard. I was alone and listening to music, having a smoke when R stopped by. He was soaken wet, as he lives about a half mile away. "R!" i say, "what brings you this far in the rain buddy?"
"Well pal, I have a present for us. I've decided I want to take a journey; I'm ready again. My main goal is for spiritual reasons but I also want to have a good time listening to your tasteful collection of music," he said, with a tone of voice forced to be calm, as he was excited and nervous. R had a very bad trip about a year back; supposedly he tried to hurt himself because he was so intoxicated on cid and beer, and was going through huge mood swings in a bad atmosphere; a party with drunk people.
He pulls out 7 little cm^2 pieces of pinkish purple paper with blue wavy lines on it. He excitedly says that it is called "electromagnetica" and the wavy lines were EM waves, drawn correctly with the separate E and M fields perpendicular. Very cool! I love that kinda stuff, especially to contemplate how amazing light is when tripping. This was by far the coolest idea I've seen for blotter.
We make some small preparations such as getting music setup and doing some cleanup. I take 3, he takes 4, at 21:00. He had no idea how strong they were, it was a new batch and the person who he got it from gave him a discount to be his "guinea pig" with it to let him know what its like.
I pull the curtains aside on my big window and dim the lights, turn on my novelties (laser pod, lightning lamp, lava lamp, waterfall, SA-laser). not the strobe light though). Very soon I feel a zzizzy vibe in me. This word I made up to describe the onset of trypts. "I feel zizzy!" R laughs, maybe to humor me. Then he reports his is also coming up...
The comeup was steep. I was getting nervous, but trying not to be. I just didn't expect it to be an ego-loss experience tonight, as I've been pretty tired and strung out from studies. I wasn't prepared and naturally a little resistant. My nervousness was temporarily replaced with wonder and awe looking at all the 3-d geometrics forming on my ceiling, in the gentle orangish light of the lava lamp. We both said "Wow" about the same time.
Then, very unexpectedly, a loud thud on my door. I said "shhh!" and ignored it. Then a louder thump. I was frightened. There was no way for me to tell who it was. Then a very loud, threatening knock. R runs into my closet/bedroom and hides under the bed. I go over to the door and yell, "who is it?"
No answer. Then an attempt to turn the knob. I had it locked. I am in survival mode now, but just barely. I am almost too out of it to think. Everything is glowing and swirling, I barely know who I am, or who R is and what hes doing here, and I surely don't know what this knocking is about.
"Go away or I'm calling the cops! I have a baseball bat and gun fucker!" I yell. The nervousness in my voice was obvious. I try looking under the door. I only see darkness. They walk away. I try to look out the windows to see them but don't. This put us both in a very uneasy mood the rest of the night. I figured out later that someone tracked me down who owned a wireless network I tampered with and sort of accidently screwed up. Oops!
We sit there, curtains all closed up, in the dark. Trance plays very quietly; we are afraid to turn it up to a more pleasant volume; we are paranoid. The acid then peaks, and horror unleashes. R starts making silenced panicked cries. I start shivering. I think of what a horrible world we live in. That we are all most likely accidents; a super-evolved chemical fluke first arising almost 4 billion years ago. All the horrible atrocities, all the ignorant religions, and all the evil peoples energy was entering my consciousness at a violent rate. I wanted to take it all in then sacrifice myself, almost like a Jesus, dying for everyones sin. This idea seemed almost logical, but I knew not to go that far.
"This life.. can be good.." I said out loud. "Its not all bad, its what we make it. We can make good out of the bad". Saying this helped about 1%. R then stood up and yelled, "I can't take it anymore! Where is he? Get him! Let's beat!" then he picks up my baseball bat. I stand up and gently snatch it. "Whoever it was is probably gone, don't worry."
He then picks up a coaster and throws it at my lightning lamp. Later he said it was because he felt evil vibes from it and thought it had some connection with the "electromagnetic" name of the blotter, synergizing badly. I want to just be alone now, and maybe take a shower but R is out of it. I am too. I am getting horrible, detailed images just bursting around in my head. I lay down on the floor and hold my head. What a nightmare, i think. "But it will be over, i promise" I say aloud, to both of us.
Soon, the intensity wears down along with our adrenaline/fear. I take a shower. In there, the water felt like it was soaking into me and my brain. It felt more odd than pleasant. I heard strange yells and voices that caused me to turn the water off a few times to make sure R was ok. After getting dressed, I did feel better, but this trip was a dud spiritually or with anything beneficial, so I pull us out each 3 ambien. We pop the 30mg and almost right away get very talkative and relaxed. Then blankness... I woke up at 14:00 feeling absolutely horrible and finding there was 7 more ambien missing. The place was trashed, mostly with food items half eaten. R soon wakes up also, only recalling me trying to give him more ambien, and him accepting just 2, and me saying "fine more for me!" and popping 5, then soon passing out flat on the floor.
Well, it wasn't a great trip, but a strange one. After recovering I realized, hey there probably isn't a god, and I am atheist for sure instead of agnostic, but that doesn't mean I am not good or can't feel happy and with purpose. I can try to make good, and try to have faith in myself instead of a God, especially not a vengeful Christian bs God. I can't have faith in humans though, our species won't be alive for too many more generations. I still believe there could be an afterlife, since consciousness might be electrical and we come part of some vast electric field or something! Who knows!
