runmercirun
Bluelighter
Long read! If you just want to read about the Wal-Mart part, it is italicized. Notes (at bottom of report) I wrote while tripping are italicized too.
Moved to a new area, spent a month looking for lucy, shits not as easy to find as it is on the east coast. But it was definitely worth the wait.
Setting: Outside, rainy, muddy, cloudy, fuck I hate rain but it was the only day that worked out for the two others that were tripping with me. Also took place in a sober friends house and Wal-Mart. We were expecting just to chill with each other and our sitter, turns out to be a small house party with a lot more people than expected.
4:30 - Dropped two hits, other two friends (C and M, first time trippers) dropped 1.5 in our friends living room. I was really skeptical about these hits; I had no intention of tripping. I thought they were duds, but boy was I wrong. We chilled and waited, anxious and excited. There were bad vibes in the house while we were coming up, our sitter and his gf had gotten into a fight, kind of put me off.
5:15 - The unfamiliar 6th sense acid gives me started kicking in. My body was buzzing. My stomach felt hollow. Colors were vibrant and everything was unexplainably clear. I went to the bathroom to check my pupils and they were huge. I was so happy. Yes yes this acid is legit!
5:40 - Straight lines do not exist. Everything is breathing, wobbling, growing, and coming to life. My thoughts are racing a little too fast for my liking. My hands are shaking. My vocabulary only existed of "I'm tripping soo hard" & "Shit look at that!"
6:00 - I'm starting to become uncomfortable in the house. We go outside, things only get more intense. My friends are freaking out about their visuals and new sounds they hear. C is saying that it isn’t anything that he expected. I am at loss for words. Things are floating and morphing and swirling. There weren't outlines of anything; everything was just a continuous strip of colors. I could hear my friends breathing as if they were breathing right in my ear. The rain clouds were moving at an impossible speed. The road was rising into the grass; it looked like the ocean rising onto a shore.
6:30 - I go into the house; I need to sit down somewhere. I had never had visuals so extreme, I felt like it was too much. I go into a spare bedroom and lay down. EVERYTHING is pulsing like a strobe light, and with each pulse the color of everything changes. Blue, red, green, blue, red, green. My heart was beating fast. The house was starting to get crowded and I could hear every word every one said, but the words didn't make sense. My friend M came in and sat with me because he was overwhelmed too, while C was enjoying the shit out of it at the party going on in the next room. A sober friend, named A, came in. He knew we were tripping but messed with us anyways, saying things that didn't make sense and continually mindfucking us. Douche bag.
7:00 - A says he's going to Wal-Mart and invited us. If I hadn't totally been out of it, I wouldn't have gone. But the room was scaring me, and it was too wet to sit outside, so I thought a car ride would be a nice break. I don't know how I had the ability to use my legs to get up and into the car because my body felt so heavy and hard to control. C, M, and I pile into the back. We’re too close together, I feel like I’m going to explode.
7:20 - We're in wal-mart. This is where ego death occurred. It was cool at first because everything was so bright and colorful. The tiles on the floor were rippling and wobbling. I felt like I was walking on top of water. We're all following A to get whatever he needs; I look over at C who looks like he's in some sort of shock. He's walking slow, then fast, slow, fast. I ask him if he's ok and I shouldn't have done that because he got all paranoid. I started wondering if I looked like he did. I got scared. Everybody in this store is going to know I took acid. At that moment the world started to vibrate, all of my surroundings were vibrating with sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings. Total sensory overload.
Then all of a sudden I lost complete control of every part of my being. I wasn't walking anymore, I didn't have a body. I was just an idea, floating in a never ending amount of aisles. I could see C and M walking beside me, but they didn't look familiar. I couldn't think anymore, my mind was blank. Nothing seemed real or made any sense to me. I felt like I was stuck in my mind, in a terrible, terrible maze of colorful aisles that all looked the same. M and C had just become parts of my imagination, along with everybody else in the store. C and M constantly kept asking if I was ok, but I wouldn't answer them. They were just parts of something that I dreamed up, it'd be pointless to talk to things that I made up. M came up to me and put his arm around me, trying to comfort me, but it wasn't really M! It was all made up! I told him to leave me alone.
Everything that I had ever experienced in life was made up. I tried to remember yesterday, last summer, home, me. I couldn't remember. I just existed in every moment. There wasn't a past or a future. Just a moment and that's all I was, a second on the clock. I didn't want to see M and C anymore, I hated them, this, being stuck. I floated apart from my crowd, I needed to get out. I knew there was more to life than aisles of color. I knew I had a life before this, I knew that I had existed at some point.
I became aware of my body and took my phone out of my pocket; I looked through the contacts, my calendar, notes, web history. YES. I did exist. Here is proof! But what if I just made this phone up too? What if nothing in this phone means anything? I was considering calling the contact that said Mom just to make sure she gave birth to me. I needed to know I existed. But instead I called C (THANK GOD) and said “C? C? Where are you? I’m at wal-mart. I don’t know where I am.” He and M found me standing in the middle of an aisle. Even though I thought they were just figments of my imagination, I didn’t want to be alone. I immediately told them we had to get out. C kept repeating ‘Yeah, this is too much; it’s too much, we need to get out.’ We walked around some more, scared shitless, and finally found the exit. But even when I got outside, I didn’t feel any different. I was still not existing. I lit a cigarette and began typing a note in my phone. Anything that I felt was a thought, I wrote down. I continued writing in my phone throughout the night (I’ll post it at the bottom of this report). C called A, he said that he left. WHAT....No...Why would A leave us here? Wal-mart would forever be my reality. C and M started to freak out. I felt like any emotion I couldn’t show, C and M were acting it out for me, still a part of my imagination. A ended up pulling up, laughing hysterically. I wasn’t relieved or mad, I wasn’t anything. I was still stuck in my mind.
7:40 – I don’t remember much about the ride home, accept that the ceiling of the car was stretched 5 feet over my head. Oh yeah, and we got pulled over. But it didn’t mean anything to me. These cops weren’t real. They couldn’t do anything but stick me in a fake jail cell, which didn’t seem too bad at the time. The cop’s lights flashing behind us while we were parked turned everything I looked at red and blue. I kept getting myself stuck in time loops too. I would look at C and he would say, “Guys, guys, I have weed on me. I HAVE WEED ON ME, what do I do?!!!”, then I would look over at him again and he’d have the same face on, with the same panicked tone and say again, “Guys, guys, I have weed on me. I HAVE WEED ON ME, what do I do?!!!” This happened about six times, and then his sentence changed to, “I’m ready for this trip to end”, which he repeated every time I looked over at him. Then I actually registered the sentence. I was on a drug. I snapped myself back into reality remembering I had taken acid a few hours ago. HOLY FUCK THIS IS REAL AND THERE’S A COP AND THERE’S THREE PEOPLE ON ACID IN THE BACK. I started panicking, picturing myself in jail, a fugitive, shunned by my family. WHY DID I TAKE ACID, WHY DO I DO DRUGS? FUCK. After coming to reality my brain shut down. The next thing I remember is hovering over a toilet, puking my brains out.
8:00 – back at the house, sitting in the bathroom. I’m shaken up beyond belief. After puking I feel much better. I plug some music into my ears and watch the bathroom dance to the sounds of Eskmo. Every object is either shivering or dripping. The ceiling is dipped low, the walls are bending. I look into the mirror and the person I see looks so much different than the person I usually see. I felt like I was seeing myself for the very first time, with every imperfection on my body magnified. I put my arms straight up above my head and brought them down to my hips, fascinated with how long the trails were.
8:15 – I go to lie down in the spare bedroom again. I had lost the ability to form complete sentences so going into the living room with a bunch of conversing people would have been pointless. Visuals were just as intense as the first time I laid in this room, if not worse. I really wanted to turn it off. Turn off all the blinking, wiggling, growing, and morphing going on around me. I typed on my phone the thoughts that were going through my head. I couldn’t talk, but god damnit I was thankful I could type. I closed my eyes and let go of everything. There were millions of colors creating the most beautiful patterns behind my eyelids. I felt like I was melting into the bed, sinking farther and farther. My mind was blank again, only the colors existed, but I didn’t mind it. I was starting to enjoy my trip.
8:45 – The party left to go to another party. C left with them, but me and M stayed with the house to ourselves. Nothing to crazy happened here, drew some pictures, smoked a bunch, and ate some plums. I felt so much more relaxed now, and happy. We went for a walk and everything about outside was absolutely beautiful in every single way possible. I felt like I knew the answer to everything and that I could control everything too. If I wanted the wind to blow, it would blow. If I wanted the grass to grow, it would grow. At one point when I was by myself I held my arms out while the wind blew, had the perfect Pheonix tune on, had the biggest smile on my face,and felt at one with nature. I understood everything about the world for a second and loved everything about it.
9:00 – 3:00 – Nothing really worth reporting. Everyone came back from the other party and I felt a whole lot better being around people than before. Spent the night chillen with people and watching movies. I got used to the wiggling and rippling of everything after awhile. Took about 2 hours for me to fall asleep.
Probably the most intense trip I’ve ever had and I’ve had much more than just two hits before. I really enjoyed the ego-death experience. Well....not while it was happening, but ya know, I’m thankful for it. I felt like a new person the next day, cleansed almost. Thanks for reading if you made it the whole way through!
This is what I typed in my phone throughout the night (Names changed to letters):
“Toomuchtoomuch pulsing, colors, vibrations, colors, meltingg, I don’t know I feel like I’m thinking everything doesn’t make sense. I want to feel real again. I can’t find my way out of walmart, I got lost too many aisles why the fuck does walmart have so many aisles, found C and M, outside of walmart.. WHAT ARE WE DOING RIGHT NOW..sketchy.....are you ok? Are you ok? Are you ok? Police...food...blue red blue red A? Where are we? Who are we?? LSD. Nothing is making sense...............I just want sleep, nothing. Emptiness makes sense. The empty spaces! That’s where happiness is. Find it. Be happy. Your phones still wiggling. Words are rippling. Time keeps repeating itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. You see? These letters are floating and growing. Like everything else. C left. M is here. There are so many colors. Too many. Someone just called, you are scared. It’ll be ok, just relax.
Acid is about BEING IN THE MOMENT. BE IN IT. NO PLANS.
I’m on another level of existence, I’m controlling you! All of you hahahaha now stay there dude. Locked out.
You’re not in control now asshole. Noooooo.
I’m chill now. Kinda. No. Um....... “
Moved to a new area, spent a month looking for lucy, shits not as easy to find as it is on the east coast. But it was definitely worth the wait.
Setting: Outside, rainy, muddy, cloudy, fuck I hate rain but it was the only day that worked out for the two others that were tripping with me. Also took place in a sober friends house and Wal-Mart. We were expecting just to chill with each other and our sitter, turns out to be a small house party with a lot more people than expected.
4:30 - Dropped two hits, other two friends (C and M, first time trippers) dropped 1.5 in our friends living room. I was really skeptical about these hits; I had no intention of tripping. I thought they were duds, but boy was I wrong. We chilled and waited, anxious and excited. There were bad vibes in the house while we were coming up, our sitter and his gf had gotten into a fight, kind of put me off.
5:15 - The unfamiliar 6th sense acid gives me started kicking in. My body was buzzing. My stomach felt hollow. Colors were vibrant and everything was unexplainably clear. I went to the bathroom to check my pupils and they were huge. I was so happy. Yes yes this acid is legit!
5:40 - Straight lines do not exist. Everything is breathing, wobbling, growing, and coming to life. My thoughts are racing a little too fast for my liking. My hands are shaking. My vocabulary only existed of "I'm tripping soo hard" & "Shit look at that!"
6:00 - I'm starting to become uncomfortable in the house. We go outside, things only get more intense. My friends are freaking out about their visuals and new sounds they hear. C is saying that it isn’t anything that he expected. I am at loss for words. Things are floating and morphing and swirling. There weren't outlines of anything; everything was just a continuous strip of colors. I could hear my friends breathing as if they were breathing right in my ear. The rain clouds were moving at an impossible speed. The road was rising into the grass; it looked like the ocean rising onto a shore.
6:30 - I go into the house; I need to sit down somewhere. I had never had visuals so extreme, I felt like it was too much. I go into a spare bedroom and lay down. EVERYTHING is pulsing like a strobe light, and with each pulse the color of everything changes. Blue, red, green, blue, red, green. My heart was beating fast. The house was starting to get crowded and I could hear every word every one said, but the words didn't make sense. My friend M came in and sat with me because he was overwhelmed too, while C was enjoying the shit out of it at the party going on in the next room. A sober friend, named A, came in. He knew we were tripping but messed with us anyways, saying things that didn't make sense and continually mindfucking us. Douche bag.
7:00 - A says he's going to Wal-Mart and invited us. If I hadn't totally been out of it, I wouldn't have gone. But the room was scaring me, and it was too wet to sit outside, so I thought a car ride would be a nice break. I don't know how I had the ability to use my legs to get up and into the car because my body felt so heavy and hard to control. C, M, and I pile into the back. We’re too close together, I feel like I’m going to explode.
7:20 - We're in wal-mart. This is where ego death occurred. It was cool at first because everything was so bright and colorful. The tiles on the floor were rippling and wobbling. I felt like I was walking on top of water. We're all following A to get whatever he needs; I look over at C who looks like he's in some sort of shock. He's walking slow, then fast, slow, fast. I ask him if he's ok and I shouldn't have done that because he got all paranoid. I started wondering if I looked like he did. I got scared. Everybody in this store is going to know I took acid. At that moment the world started to vibrate, all of my surroundings were vibrating with sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings. Total sensory overload.
Then all of a sudden I lost complete control of every part of my being. I wasn't walking anymore, I didn't have a body. I was just an idea, floating in a never ending amount of aisles. I could see C and M walking beside me, but they didn't look familiar. I couldn't think anymore, my mind was blank. Nothing seemed real or made any sense to me. I felt like I was stuck in my mind, in a terrible, terrible maze of colorful aisles that all looked the same. M and C had just become parts of my imagination, along with everybody else in the store. C and M constantly kept asking if I was ok, but I wouldn't answer them. They were just parts of something that I dreamed up, it'd be pointless to talk to things that I made up. M came up to me and put his arm around me, trying to comfort me, but it wasn't really M! It was all made up! I told him to leave me alone.
Everything that I had ever experienced in life was made up. I tried to remember yesterday, last summer, home, me. I couldn't remember. I just existed in every moment. There wasn't a past or a future. Just a moment and that's all I was, a second on the clock. I didn't want to see M and C anymore, I hated them, this, being stuck. I floated apart from my crowd, I needed to get out. I knew there was more to life than aisles of color. I knew I had a life before this, I knew that I had existed at some point.
I became aware of my body and took my phone out of my pocket; I looked through the contacts, my calendar, notes, web history. YES. I did exist. Here is proof! But what if I just made this phone up too? What if nothing in this phone means anything? I was considering calling the contact that said Mom just to make sure she gave birth to me. I needed to know I existed. But instead I called C (THANK GOD) and said “C? C? Where are you? I’m at wal-mart. I don’t know where I am.” He and M found me standing in the middle of an aisle. Even though I thought they were just figments of my imagination, I didn’t want to be alone. I immediately told them we had to get out. C kept repeating ‘Yeah, this is too much; it’s too much, we need to get out.’ We walked around some more, scared shitless, and finally found the exit. But even when I got outside, I didn’t feel any different. I was still not existing. I lit a cigarette and began typing a note in my phone. Anything that I felt was a thought, I wrote down. I continued writing in my phone throughout the night (I’ll post it at the bottom of this report). C called A, he said that he left. WHAT....No...Why would A leave us here? Wal-mart would forever be my reality. C and M started to freak out. I felt like any emotion I couldn’t show, C and M were acting it out for me, still a part of my imagination. A ended up pulling up, laughing hysterically. I wasn’t relieved or mad, I wasn’t anything. I was still stuck in my mind.
7:40 – I don’t remember much about the ride home, accept that the ceiling of the car was stretched 5 feet over my head. Oh yeah, and we got pulled over. But it didn’t mean anything to me. These cops weren’t real. They couldn’t do anything but stick me in a fake jail cell, which didn’t seem too bad at the time. The cop’s lights flashing behind us while we were parked turned everything I looked at red and blue. I kept getting myself stuck in time loops too. I would look at C and he would say, “Guys, guys, I have weed on me. I HAVE WEED ON ME, what do I do?!!!”, then I would look over at him again and he’d have the same face on, with the same panicked tone and say again, “Guys, guys, I have weed on me. I HAVE WEED ON ME, what do I do?!!!” This happened about six times, and then his sentence changed to, “I’m ready for this trip to end”, which he repeated every time I looked over at him. Then I actually registered the sentence. I was on a drug. I snapped myself back into reality remembering I had taken acid a few hours ago. HOLY FUCK THIS IS REAL AND THERE’S A COP AND THERE’S THREE PEOPLE ON ACID IN THE BACK. I started panicking, picturing myself in jail, a fugitive, shunned by my family. WHY DID I TAKE ACID, WHY DO I DO DRUGS? FUCK. After coming to reality my brain shut down. The next thing I remember is hovering over a toilet, puking my brains out.
8:00 – back at the house, sitting in the bathroom. I’m shaken up beyond belief. After puking I feel much better. I plug some music into my ears and watch the bathroom dance to the sounds of Eskmo. Every object is either shivering or dripping. The ceiling is dipped low, the walls are bending. I look into the mirror and the person I see looks so much different than the person I usually see. I felt like I was seeing myself for the very first time, with every imperfection on my body magnified. I put my arms straight up above my head and brought them down to my hips, fascinated with how long the trails were.
8:15 – I go to lie down in the spare bedroom again. I had lost the ability to form complete sentences so going into the living room with a bunch of conversing people would have been pointless. Visuals were just as intense as the first time I laid in this room, if not worse. I really wanted to turn it off. Turn off all the blinking, wiggling, growing, and morphing going on around me. I typed on my phone the thoughts that were going through my head. I couldn’t talk, but god damnit I was thankful I could type. I closed my eyes and let go of everything. There were millions of colors creating the most beautiful patterns behind my eyelids. I felt like I was melting into the bed, sinking farther and farther. My mind was blank again, only the colors existed, but I didn’t mind it. I was starting to enjoy my trip.
8:45 – The party left to go to another party. C left with them, but me and M stayed with the house to ourselves. Nothing to crazy happened here, drew some pictures, smoked a bunch, and ate some plums. I felt so much more relaxed now, and happy. We went for a walk and everything about outside was absolutely beautiful in every single way possible. I felt like I knew the answer to everything and that I could control everything too. If I wanted the wind to blow, it would blow. If I wanted the grass to grow, it would grow. At one point when I was by myself I held my arms out while the wind blew, had the perfect Pheonix tune on, had the biggest smile on my face,and felt at one with nature. I understood everything about the world for a second and loved everything about it.
9:00 – 3:00 – Nothing really worth reporting. Everyone came back from the other party and I felt a whole lot better being around people than before. Spent the night chillen with people and watching movies. I got used to the wiggling and rippling of everything after awhile. Took about 2 hours for me to fall asleep.
Probably the most intense trip I’ve ever had and I’ve had much more than just two hits before. I really enjoyed the ego-death experience. Well....not while it was happening, but ya know, I’m thankful for it. I felt like a new person the next day, cleansed almost. Thanks for reading if you made it the whole way through!
This is what I typed in my phone throughout the night (Names changed to letters):
“Toomuchtoomuch pulsing, colors, vibrations, colors, meltingg, I don’t know I feel like I’m thinking everything doesn’t make sense. I want to feel real again. I can’t find my way out of walmart, I got lost too many aisles why the fuck does walmart have so many aisles, found C and M, outside of walmart.. WHAT ARE WE DOING RIGHT NOW..sketchy.....are you ok? Are you ok? Are you ok? Police...food...blue red blue red A? Where are we? Who are we?? LSD. Nothing is making sense...............I just want sleep, nothing. Emptiness makes sense. The empty spaces! That’s where happiness is. Find it. Be happy. Your phones still wiggling. Words are rippling. Time keeps repeating itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. You see? These letters are floating and growing. Like everything else. C left. M is here. There are so many colors. Too many. Someone just called, you are scared. It’ll be ok, just relax.
Acid is about BEING IN THE MOMENT. BE IN IT. NO PLANS.
I’m on another level of existence, I’m controlling you! All of you hahahaha now stay there dude. Locked out.
You’re not in control now asshole. Noooooo.
I’m chill now. Kinda. No. Um....... “
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
