mr light
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2006
- Messages
- 92
A little background first. I recently broke up with my girlfriend and have battled addiction to opiates, although stepping down from 40-80mg of oxy per day (more if i had money) to a few spoonfuls of kratom 3 times a day (the transition was smooth surprisingly). So, addiction was a drag, lighting up my day with joy for about an hour or so total, feeling lousy and miserable for the rest.
I had promised an acquaintance that I'd trip with him, since he was excited when i told him. I shouldn't have told him. I was uninhibited because i had just gotten high with him after he injected me with 40mg oxy. He got real excited and asked when we could, i said soon, maybe the weekend of the 13th or so. he planned for then but i couldn't make it. Then he asked if his girlfriend could join in. I didn't know her but said ok since she seemed like an ok person.
I put it off that weekend, making an excuse. But then on the day of the 26th I decided it might be good for me. I haven't tripped in about a year, and it was good acid. Last time i'd had it, i'd taken 2 hits and was hearing voices and seeing full blown hallucinations in the dark such as lizard like animals. I thought this could be my cleansing period; a time to wipe the dew and webs from my withered eye.
So, I met him at his house about 7pm friday. I had 7 hits with me and planned on us taking 3 each and the first-time girl 1. He lives 2 towns over in a small village with woods. Its seclusion is attractive to a trip like this. I asked about exploring the woods some before we took them in case we are back there when its darker. We do this for a bit. Theres some nice trails, plants, etc.
We socialize minimally, mostly just saying how we are excited to do this. My mindstate was one of anxiety and discomfort about tripping with people I didn't know well and feeling lousy cause my kratom had faded some. I've known the guy for years but mainly for getting stuff. Finally at 8:30 we take our doses. We sit on the porch and I begin to feel it very soon...
Warm vibes shot up and down my back and I felt something happening in my stomach. I then felt adrenaline-like movement in my head and mind. An hour later, I am tripping hard. I hear the guy, J, say a few times "wow this is goood accidd" everytime he said it, his voice sounded lower and more distorted. I started to get the fear. This sucked. I was getting headfucked around people I don't want to be with and I have so much lousy stuff going on in my life, and these thoughts were intensifying. Spending many months with a girl i really loved, so connected, then lost. I could feel the hole in my heart get larger and larger.
I told them i was taking a walk in the woods, although it was pitch black. They look at me strangely and say ok, be careful. I go in not to far on a small path and just sit. Soon I hear horrible voices that I couldn't understand. They were dark and chanting sounding.
*
I may edit this to include more detail later but I can't now, i am still shook up going over this stuff. It was just a drug, just a trip but my mind hasn't stabilized yet. I had snapped, ran through the woods screaming. I called my ex's name and yelled other jibbrish I was told. J ran towards me right away. He was tripping very hard but the stress caused him to sober up some. He found me lying on the ground with my face bleeding horribly. I had ran right smack into a tree. I remember only flashes of this part, but I do remember laying there, the most pain being on my chin although I had a broken nose. I was crying and spitting blood from my smashed lips.
He ran and grabbed somas and xanax and fed me some. I gladly accepted, but kept asking him for painkillers. He said he didn't have any but i didnt believe him and kept on asking and begging. He gave me paper towels and led me into the bathroom so i could clean up. I did and planned to go to the hospital in the morning. I was about to go just then cause i felt so insane. The visuals were absolutely horribly beautiful. So real. The twisting and melting and warping was intense, but the mind effects were much greater. Time seemed uncomprehendable, space seemed connected to everything like a 3d sheet (cant describe it anyway else) and my body sensations were so warped. Pain was amplified in such an odd way, it hurt worse but also felt a little separated from me.
Then the 2.5mg xanax and 2 somas kicked in. I felt good, relaxed, mellow, talkative. A great transition. The pain subsided some. I didn't dread the upcoming hospital trip as much. The bleeding subsided. I don't remember much else except talking a good bit and actually enjoying the music.
I went to the hospital about 10am. I told them I fell due to drinking alcohol. They bandaged my nose and chin and rx'd me 12 vicodin.
I knew not to trip in a lousy mood but thought i could improve it. It didn't work out. Lots of bad things happened mentally, horrible visions and thoughts but i'm still piecing them together. I will try to complete this report someday. Thanks for reading.
I had promised an acquaintance that I'd trip with him, since he was excited when i told him. I shouldn't have told him. I was uninhibited because i had just gotten high with him after he injected me with 40mg oxy. He got real excited and asked when we could, i said soon, maybe the weekend of the 13th or so. he planned for then but i couldn't make it. Then he asked if his girlfriend could join in. I didn't know her but said ok since she seemed like an ok person.
I put it off that weekend, making an excuse. But then on the day of the 26th I decided it might be good for me. I haven't tripped in about a year, and it was good acid. Last time i'd had it, i'd taken 2 hits and was hearing voices and seeing full blown hallucinations in the dark such as lizard like animals. I thought this could be my cleansing period; a time to wipe the dew and webs from my withered eye.
So, I met him at his house about 7pm friday. I had 7 hits with me and planned on us taking 3 each and the first-time girl 1. He lives 2 towns over in a small village with woods. Its seclusion is attractive to a trip like this. I asked about exploring the woods some before we took them in case we are back there when its darker. We do this for a bit. Theres some nice trails, plants, etc.
We socialize minimally, mostly just saying how we are excited to do this. My mindstate was one of anxiety and discomfort about tripping with people I didn't know well and feeling lousy cause my kratom had faded some. I've known the guy for years but mainly for getting stuff. Finally at 8:30 we take our doses. We sit on the porch and I begin to feel it very soon...
Warm vibes shot up and down my back and I felt something happening in my stomach. I then felt adrenaline-like movement in my head and mind. An hour later, I am tripping hard. I hear the guy, J, say a few times "wow this is goood accidd" everytime he said it, his voice sounded lower and more distorted. I started to get the fear. This sucked. I was getting headfucked around people I don't want to be with and I have so much lousy stuff going on in my life, and these thoughts were intensifying. Spending many months with a girl i really loved, so connected, then lost. I could feel the hole in my heart get larger and larger.
I told them i was taking a walk in the woods, although it was pitch black. They look at me strangely and say ok, be careful. I go in not to far on a small path and just sit. Soon I hear horrible voices that I couldn't understand. They were dark and chanting sounding.
*
I may edit this to include more detail later but I can't now, i am still shook up going over this stuff. It was just a drug, just a trip but my mind hasn't stabilized yet. I had snapped, ran through the woods screaming. I called my ex's name and yelled other jibbrish I was told. J ran towards me right away. He was tripping very hard but the stress caused him to sober up some. He found me lying on the ground with my face bleeding horribly. I had ran right smack into a tree. I remember only flashes of this part, but I do remember laying there, the most pain being on my chin although I had a broken nose. I was crying and spitting blood from my smashed lips.
He ran and grabbed somas and xanax and fed me some. I gladly accepted, but kept asking him for painkillers. He said he didn't have any but i didnt believe him and kept on asking and begging. He gave me paper towels and led me into the bathroom so i could clean up. I did and planned to go to the hospital in the morning. I was about to go just then cause i felt so insane. The visuals were absolutely horribly beautiful. So real. The twisting and melting and warping was intense, but the mind effects were much greater. Time seemed uncomprehendable, space seemed connected to everything like a 3d sheet (cant describe it anyway else) and my body sensations were so warped. Pain was amplified in such an odd way, it hurt worse but also felt a little separated from me.
Then the 2.5mg xanax and 2 somas kicked in. I felt good, relaxed, mellow, talkative. A great transition. The pain subsided some. I didn't dread the upcoming hospital trip as much. The bleeding subsided. I don't remember much else except talking a good bit and actually enjoying the music.
I went to the hospital about 10am. I told them I fell due to drinking alcohol. They bandaged my nose and chin and rx'd me 12 vicodin.
I knew not to trip in a lousy mood but thought i could improve it. It didn't work out. Lots of bad things happened mentally, horrible visions and thoughts but i'm still piecing them together. I will try to complete this report someday. Thanks for reading.
