punktuality
Bluelighter
Drug: Liquid lsd
Dose: Not sure, lots! – maybe 10 hits ? 1000ug
This report is easily the most intense experience of my life. I respected lsd before for its ability to change ones perception but I am now totally humbled by what it has the power to do in very high doses.
We had spent the night at the local pool hall and my mate heard a weather report that said it was going to be -6c in the morning. From experience we knew that cold frosty mornings/nights were perfect for tripping and we conveniently happened to have some liquid lsd in our refrigerator. It was around midnight when we decided to trip and everyone decided to take a large dose, which admittedly I wasn’t really that keen for as I was not in the best mood. There was 5 of us. J, S, P, G and myself and J got out 5 sugar cubes and dropped 5 drops onto each. However when he got to the 5th cube he only got 2 drops out and the bottle was empty. The ”empty” (yeah right!) bottle still had residue on the inside that you couldn’t squeeze out. It was a tiny plastic bottle used for mint breath drops so I was offered to “eat the bottle.” J had previously “eaten” another bottle and said there was a lot in there still so I cut the tiny bottle in half with a knife and chewed on it for about 10 minutes. Everyone else had there cube and S also had the extra cube with 2. So everyone had 5 except for S who had 7 and me who had the bottle.
I soon realised that there was an insane amount still in the bottle when heavy visuals started happening in as little as 15 minutes. It felt like I was “peaking” after 30-40 minutes. It was a cold night and G (our neighbour) ran home to quickly get a scarf and poncho and cloak. After seeing that G had this cloak P decided he needed his “cloak” too which he had at home. He called a taxi and planned to get his cloak and drive his own car back to J’s place. This seemed a bit odd but he asked if anyone wanted to come along for the ride. By this time I was already pretty messy. Besides the usual “melting walls” and “sliding floors” I was getting quite intense colour shifts that were unlike anything I had seen before. I was volunteered to go with P on this adventure so we hastily ran out to the taxi and in no time were at P’s house. We crept inside quietly like ninja’s to get P’s stuff and quickly came back outside. By this time the ground was swirling with the most intense fractal geometrical patterns I had ever seen. The world was exploding in life. P wasn’t tripping quite as hard as me and although we probably shouldn’t have driven we got in his car. It was extremely cold and his windows were all iced up. We sat inside the car with the engine running but didn’t move as the awesome icy refracting patterns on the windscreen were just so awesome. We must have sat there for 15 minutes laughing our asses of at the fact we were just sitting there transfixed by a windscreen. P put the window demister on and scraped off some ice from outside but visibility was still not good enough to drive. Not that we were too upset by this. Eventually the ice melted and we were on our way.
Again the return trip seemed to take no time at all and when we returned it seemed like insanity had broken loose. A couple of other friends had dropped past and the house was full of people. A friend of S was there and came up to me and said “sorry I forgot your name” to which I replied “come on! Even I can remember my own name!” and everyone lost it and burst out laughing. By now my concentration span was about 3 seconds and conversation was not an option. I was tripping harder than everyone else (who were off the planet regardless) and I suggested we go outside as the cramped insides of the house was getting too much for me. I walked outside and across to the parkland and was breath taken by the frost covered ground. It was like silver. The grass swirled and spiralled across the reflective glistening sweeping ground. The others soon joined me outside and we decided we should climb a mountain that is just near our house. We walked up the road on our way to the mountain base and ran into some crazy drunk guy. He thought we looked pretty crazy people and thought we were stoned and tried to ask us for weed which was weird. We told him we were going to climb the mountain to which he replied “No way!...I bet one of you wont make it back alive!!”….. that was the weirdest thing to hear and we laughed our asses of and went on our way to the mountain which normally takes 10 minutes to climb and isn’t exactly known for taking lives.
At this point reality started to slip away totally. Normally on acid (highest dose prior to this was 5 drops) I have got amazingly changed “perspective” on the world but at the end of the day everything was still “real” and tangible. From this point on I was honestly not sure what part of my experience was real and tangible and which was just a construct of my mind.
I remember climbing up an alleyway before the mountain which had stairs and rails and covered in trees and plants… it seemed to go on forever and it seemed like I was climbing through it for hours (its probably only 15 metres) S ran down and made some crazy incoherent noise as he was tripping harder than he ever had too although nowhere like what I was about to experience. He snapped me out of my infinite stairway dream and raced me to the top. We the were at the base of the mountain and getting up was really a bit of a blur. I remember climbing again for what seemed like forever (actually forever in an infinite kind of way) The long grass underfoot was entangling me. The grass no longer looked anything like “grass” or any earthbound form of vegetation. It was actually bright neon pink in colour and seemed to be laid our in patterns one might make in one of those spirograph things. I kept climbing, but in hindsight the thing that seemed really strange was the fact that I wasn’t put off by this pink grass which was more a part of my mind than reality but I just smoothly fell into a mindset of accepting this new reality as truth. By the time I was at the top of the mountain I was barely cognitive of any sense of self. I have experienced ego-loss before on lsd… a humbling feeling of oneness with the world but I experienced total and utter ego-death while there. I was no longer myself. I just was. The others seemed like ghosts wisping past me and any conversation was totally lost on me as my mind was busy building a new reality in front of me.
I honestly can’t remember everyone else leaving but at some point I realised I (whatever “I” was) was alone. Apparently when the others left I told them I would stay for a while but I have no recollection of that which scares me a bit. I don’t think they realised how distorted my reality was at this point. With no company to latch me to any lingering traces of the real world my mind went on a journey through “forever”. I remember being wrapped in a scarf that G must have given to me which felt like a warm vine entangling me. It was more apart of me than a piece of clothing. I remember looking out over the mountain at the city lights which my mind recognised more in terms of “concept” than as actual tangible objects. I turned around and more hills and a beautiful landscape scene greeted me. I kept looking from the lights to the hills back and forward in a looping cycle that seemed more like a dream than a real world event. The grass was still pink and seemed like nylon cord more than organic. The city lights seemed like ribbons of light, most concept of streetlights was lost on me.
While looking around at the alien scene in front of me my mind raced and thought about things in a way I have never experienced and find hard to verbalise. I went into deep thought and pondered life and death… I pondered reality… I even pondered the concept of a “concept” for a while. I was not thinking in a normal conscious sense, I was far beyond any cognition of the normal world which included my mind. Looping concepts ran through my head, not in chronological time but rather in the form of pure thought. Ideas and loops like:
Life – death – birth – mother – father - life – death – birth – mother – father etc. etc.
Food – Warm – Air – Live - Food – Warm – Air – Live – etc etc.
While this was happening I was aware of little or no visual or physical stimulus whatsoever. I was in a dreamland of the mind and this is where “I” (whatever that might have been) seemed to exist. Eventually I broke out of this repetitive chain of loops. As I came out of this bizarre and alien state of mind tiny traces of the real world started to creep in. J called me and said I should come down because they were making some special tea. I had no idea how long I had been up there.
I looked around me at the grass and the trees...every leaf and every loop in the grass looked like an "eye" looking at me...like a full on detailed eye. A sea of litterally a million eyes was looking directly at me. It was slightly unerving...yet after what I had just been through seemed perfectly reasonable. The eyes looking at me where almost a visual metaphor that the world was alive and interconnected...everything around me was aware of my presence....it also made me aware of "myself" for the first time in what must have been hours. I was "looking" at these eyes with my own set of eyes...I had two of these eyes that I was looking at.
I was still half in this dream world but made a conscious decision to walk down the mountain back to the house. Making a conscious decision was quite a task considering I had just been trying to work out what the hell consciousness was. I walked down the steep hill a different way to the one we came and it seemed to go on forever like the way up even though it was just a short walk. I arrived at a barbed wire fence and considered jumping it but my sensibility which had only just started to find root again decided I would probably hurt myself. I carefully examined the fence and squeezed through two non barbed wires unscathed. Finally I got to the bottom of the hill and hit a road. It was so relieving after having seriously been considering that this walk might in fact go on “forever”. I realised where I was and started walking the road back home. The moon was in the sky and was insanely bright. The moon has been out during the day lately and it was like watching a “moonrise”. I was totally amazed with how bright it was even though it was now daylight. It was right at the end of the horizon I was walking towards and seemed to totally suck me towards it. The strange thing was that as I was walking and reality came flooding back it was the real world that started to seem “alien”…When on lsd (lower doses) you get a certain clarity in your vision that makes the real world seem crystal clear but my view of the world now almost seemed “too clear”…there was so much clarity and detail that it seemed like a dream, I was amazed at how beautiful the world is. I always appreciated the world and how amazing it could be but this new perception took it to a whole new level. Wow. After a few minutes I turned down the street towards my house and saw the other guys sitting out in the park watching the sun and the clouds. They cheered as I walked toward them and I breathed a sigh of relief as confirmation of reality had been achieved. We went inside and the house was warm. I sat down and just rested for a good while and tried to assemble the mess that was my mind back together. The events on the mountain really did seem to deconstruct my mind and as I came too I had to reconstruct it from scratch. It is a totally overwhelming experience to say the least and not for the faint of heart or mind, but was totally amazing. I talked with the guys for a while about what exactly happened last night and they filled me in on some points that I really couldn’t remember. I had a cup of coffee and walked outside again. I was still tripping very hard visually but I was cool with that, my mind had been exhausted and I was just glad that my mind had stopped racing. I decided I needed sleep, or at very least to lay down and rest. My body and mind were both just totally depleted of energy. I went into my room and turned the heater on and crashed. I don’t think I actually slept, my mind was still too active, but the rest did wonders. When I got up I walked out and had a chat with J who told me more about the time he had done the bottle himself. I never realised how intense it was but he described his time as “a battle with reality” which definitely rang true and gave me some needed conformation that I didn’t in fact loose my mind up on that hill last night.
The rest of the day was quiet although we were all still quite “aware” and in good spirits. We went out to dinner and drinks that night with friends which was awesome. No-one was tripping but we were all still in a very silly mood. At dinner we drew soy sauce art in our bowls and pretended we were fish inside the glass window of the restaurant. The cool thing is the people at dinner that had no idea what we were up to the night before got totally into our crazy antics and had an awesome time. It’s so reassuring to know that people are capable of being silly and enjoying life. It really gave me hope that one day people would realise what an awesome and amazing world we live in and that it’s important to have fun and not take it all too seriously.
I wrote down a few words in a book I keep summarising my experience and view of the world and reality:
There “is” a certain place where ones mind is free to float in an infinite sea of forever. Ones “mind” is as much a reality as the physical world that we cling to. The mind and the physical are not two separate entities on different planes of existence. There is an infinite fractal architecture linking the mind and the body woven into itself forever. The entity we know as consciousness is a combination of our minds taking stock of the “real world” and the real world creating tangible realisations of what the mind would perceive to be “true”. The concept of forever lends itself to an infinite void of conceptualisation that can only be countered by stopping to realise the moment that is “now”
That night lsd really handed my mind to me on platter and let me see inside. It was an amazing experience to have total ego-death and to question ideas like “self” “I” and “real” with total conviction. But it is also an experience that gave me a huge appreciation and respect for the drug. High dose lsd is not for those with weak minds but in the right conditions with right mind set it can be amazing. And it was.
large doses should definately not be a regular thing but for experienced and careful users can be valuable. I dont think i will be having lsd for a while... I have no need, i think I have gained everything I can out of it.
edit: i just added the bit about the "eyes"... I only just remembered them and it seemed to significant to leave out.
Dose: Not sure, lots! – maybe 10 hits ? 1000ug
This report is easily the most intense experience of my life. I respected lsd before for its ability to change ones perception but I am now totally humbled by what it has the power to do in very high doses.
We had spent the night at the local pool hall and my mate heard a weather report that said it was going to be -6c in the morning. From experience we knew that cold frosty mornings/nights were perfect for tripping and we conveniently happened to have some liquid lsd in our refrigerator. It was around midnight when we decided to trip and everyone decided to take a large dose, which admittedly I wasn’t really that keen for as I was not in the best mood. There was 5 of us. J, S, P, G and myself and J got out 5 sugar cubes and dropped 5 drops onto each. However when he got to the 5th cube he only got 2 drops out and the bottle was empty. The ”empty” (yeah right!) bottle still had residue on the inside that you couldn’t squeeze out. It was a tiny plastic bottle used for mint breath drops so I was offered to “eat the bottle.” J had previously “eaten” another bottle and said there was a lot in there still so I cut the tiny bottle in half with a knife and chewed on it for about 10 minutes. Everyone else had there cube and S also had the extra cube with 2. So everyone had 5 except for S who had 7 and me who had the bottle.
I soon realised that there was an insane amount still in the bottle when heavy visuals started happening in as little as 15 minutes. It felt like I was “peaking” after 30-40 minutes. It was a cold night and G (our neighbour) ran home to quickly get a scarf and poncho and cloak. After seeing that G had this cloak P decided he needed his “cloak” too which he had at home. He called a taxi and planned to get his cloak and drive his own car back to J’s place. This seemed a bit odd but he asked if anyone wanted to come along for the ride. By this time I was already pretty messy. Besides the usual “melting walls” and “sliding floors” I was getting quite intense colour shifts that were unlike anything I had seen before. I was volunteered to go with P on this adventure so we hastily ran out to the taxi and in no time were at P’s house. We crept inside quietly like ninja’s to get P’s stuff and quickly came back outside. By this time the ground was swirling with the most intense fractal geometrical patterns I had ever seen. The world was exploding in life. P wasn’t tripping quite as hard as me and although we probably shouldn’t have driven we got in his car. It was extremely cold and his windows were all iced up. We sat inside the car with the engine running but didn’t move as the awesome icy refracting patterns on the windscreen were just so awesome. We must have sat there for 15 minutes laughing our asses of at the fact we were just sitting there transfixed by a windscreen. P put the window demister on and scraped off some ice from outside but visibility was still not good enough to drive. Not that we were too upset by this. Eventually the ice melted and we were on our way.
Again the return trip seemed to take no time at all and when we returned it seemed like insanity had broken loose. A couple of other friends had dropped past and the house was full of people. A friend of S was there and came up to me and said “sorry I forgot your name” to which I replied “come on! Even I can remember my own name!” and everyone lost it and burst out laughing. By now my concentration span was about 3 seconds and conversation was not an option. I was tripping harder than everyone else (who were off the planet regardless) and I suggested we go outside as the cramped insides of the house was getting too much for me. I walked outside and across to the parkland and was breath taken by the frost covered ground. It was like silver. The grass swirled and spiralled across the reflective glistening sweeping ground. The others soon joined me outside and we decided we should climb a mountain that is just near our house. We walked up the road on our way to the mountain base and ran into some crazy drunk guy. He thought we looked pretty crazy people and thought we were stoned and tried to ask us for weed which was weird. We told him we were going to climb the mountain to which he replied “No way!...I bet one of you wont make it back alive!!”….. that was the weirdest thing to hear and we laughed our asses of and went on our way to the mountain which normally takes 10 minutes to climb and isn’t exactly known for taking lives.
At this point reality started to slip away totally. Normally on acid (highest dose prior to this was 5 drops) I have got amazingly changed “perspective” on the world but at the end of the day everything was still “real” and tangible. From this point on I was honestly not sure what part of my experience was real and tangible and which was just a construct of my mind.
I remember climbing up an alleyway before the mountain which had stairs and rails and covered in trees and plants… it seemed to go on forever and it seemed like I was climbing through it for hours (its probably only 15 metres) S ran down and made some crazy incoherent noise as he was tripping harder than he ever had too although nowhere like what I was about to experience. He snapped me out of my infinite stairway dream and raced me to the top. We the were at the base of the mountain and getting up was really a bit of a blur. I remember climbing again for what seemed like forever (actually forever in an infinite kind of way) The long grass underfoot was entangling me. The grass no longer looked anything like “grass” or any earthbound form of vegetation. It was actually bright neon pink in colour and seemed to be laid our in patterns one might make in one of those spirograph things. I kept climbing, but in hindsight the thing that seemed really strange was the fact that I wasn’t put off by this pink grass which was more a part of my mind than reality but I just smoothly fell into a mindset of accepting this new reality as truth. By the time I was at the top of the mountain I was barely cognitive of any sense of self. I have experienced ego-loss before on lsd… a humbling feeling of oneness with the world but I experienced total and utter ego-death while there. I was no longer myself. I just was. The others seemed like ghosts wisping past me and any conversation was totally lost on me as my mind was busy building a new reality in front of me.
I honestly can’t remember everyone else leaving but at some point I realised I (whatever “I” was) was alone. Apparently when the others left I told them I would stay for a while but I have no recollection of that which scares me a bit. I don’t think they realised how distorted my reality was at this point. With no company to latch me to any lingering traces of the real world my mind went on a journey through “forever”. I remember being wrapped in a scarf that G must have given to me which felt like a warm vine entangling me. It was more apart of me than a piece of clothing. I remember looking out over the mountain at the city lights which my mind recognised more in terms of “concept” than as actual tangible objects. I turned around and more hills and a beautiful landscape scene greeted me. I kept looking from the lights to the hills back and forward in a looping cycle that seemed more like a dream than a real world event. The grass was still pink and seemed like nylon cord more than organic. The city lights seemed like ribbons of light, most concept of streetlights was lost on me.
While looking around at the alien scene in front of me my mind raced and thought about things in a way I have never experienced and find hard to verbalise. I went into deep thought and pondered life and death… I pondered reality… I even pondered the concept of a “concept” for a while. I was not thinking in a normal conscious sense, I was far beyond any cognition of the normal world which included my mind. Looping concepts ran through my head, not in chronological time but rather in the form of pure thought. Ideas and loops like:
Life – death – birth – mother – father - life – death – birth – mother – father etc. etc.
Food – Warm – Air – Live - Food – Warm – Air – Live – etc etc.
While this was happening I was aware of little or no visual or physical stimulus whatsoever. I was in a dreamland of the mind and this is where “I” (whatever that might have been) seemed to exist. Eventually I broke out of this repetitive chain of loops. As I came out of this bizarre and alien state of mind tiny traces of the real world started to creep in. J called me and said I should come down because they were making some special tea. I had no idea how long I had been up there.
I looked around me at the grass and the trees...every leaf and every loop in the grass looked like an "eye" looking at me...like a full on detailed eye. A sea of litterally a million eyes was looking directly at me. It was slightly unerving...yet after what I had just been through seemed perfectly reasonable. The eyes looking at me where almost a visual metaphor that the world was alive and interconnected...everything around me was aware of my presence....it also made me aware of "myself" for the first time in what must have been hours. I was "looking" at these eyes with my own set of eyes...I had two of these eyes that I was looking at.
I was still half in this dream world but made a conscious decision to walk down the mountain back to the house. Making a conscious decision was quite a task considering I had just been trying to work out what the hell consciousness was. I walked down the steep hill a different way to the one we came and it seemed to go on forever like the way up even though it was just a short walk. I arrived at a barbed wire fence and considered jumping it but my sensibility which had only just started to find root again decided I would probably hurt myself. I carefully examined the fence and squeezed through two non barbed wires unscathed. Finally I got to the bottom of the hill and hit a road. It was so relieving after having seriously been considering that this walk might in fact go on “forever”. I realised where I was and started walking the road back home. The moon was in the sky and was insanely bright. The moon has been out during the day lately and it was like watching a “moonrise”. I was totally amazed with how bright it was even though it was now daylight. It was right at the end of the horizon I was walking towards and seemed to totally suck me towards it. The strange thing was that as I was walking and reality came flooding back it was the real world that started to seem “alien”…When on lsd (lower doses) you get a certain clarity in your vision that makes the real world seem crystal clear but my view of the world now almost seemed “too clear”…there was so much clarity and detail that it seemed like a dream, I was amazed at how beautiful the world is. I always appreciated the world and how amazing it could be but this new perception took it to a whole new level. Wow. After a few minutes I turned down the street towards my house and saw the other guys sitting out in the park watching the sun and the clouds. They cheered as I walked toward them and I breathed a sigh of relief as confirmation of reality had been achieved. We went inside and the house was warm. I sat down and just rested for a good while and tried to assemble the mess that was my mind back together. The events on the mountain really did seem to deconstruct my mind and as I came too I had to reconstruct it from scratch. It is a totally overwhelming experience to say the least and not for the faint of heart or mind, but was totally amazing. I talked with the guys for a while about what exactly happened last night and they filled me in on some points that I really couldn’t remember. I had a cup of coffee and walked outside again. I was still tripping very hard visually but I was cool with that, my mind had been exhausted and I was just glad that my mind had stopped racing. I decided I needed sleep, or at very least to lay down and rest. My body and mind were both just totally depleted of energy. I went into my room and turned the heater on and crashed. I don’t think I actually slept, my mind was still too active, but the rest did wonders. When I got up I walked out and had a chat with J who told me more about the time he had done the bottle himself. I never realised how intense it was but he described his time as “a battle with reality” which definitely rang true and gave me some needed conformation that I didn’t in fact loose my mind up on that hill last night.
The rest of the day was quiet although we were all still quite “aware” and in good spirits. We went out to dinner and drinks that night with friends which was awesome. No-one was tripping but we were all still in a very silly mood. At dinner we drew soy sauce art in our bowls and pretended we were fish inside the glass window of the restaurant. The cool thing is the people at dinner that had no idea what we were up to the night before got totally into our crazy antics and had an awesome time. It’s so reassuring to know that people are capable of being silly and enjoying life. It really gave me hope that one day people would realise what an awesome and amazing world we live in and that it’s important to have fun and not take it all too seriously.
I wrote down a few words in a book I keep summarising my experience and view of the world and reality:
There “is” a certain place where ones mind is free to float in an infinite sea of forever. Ones “mind” is as much a reality as the physical world that we cling to. The mind and the physical are not two separate entities on different planes of existence. There is an infinite fractal architecture linking the mind and the body woven into itself forever. The entity we know as consciousness is a combination of our minds taking stock of the “real world” and the real world creating tangible realisations of what the mind would perceive to be “true”. The concept of forever lends itself to an infinite void of conceptualisation that can only be countered by stopping to realise the moment that is “now”
That night lsd really handed my mind to me on platter and let me see inside. It was an amazing experience to have total ego-death and to question ideas like “self” “I” and “real” with total conviction. But it is also an experience that gave me a huge appreciation and respect for the drug. High dose lsd is not for those with weak minds but in the right conditions with right mind set it can be amazing. And it was.
large doses should definately not be a regular thing but for experienced and careful users can be valuable. I dont think i will be having lsd for a while... I have no need, i think I have gained everything I can out of it.
edit: i just added the bit about the "eyes"... I only just remembered them and it seemed to significant to leave out.
Last edited:
).
