neurofall
Bluelighter
Hi all,
Introduction and Background
My first experience with any drug of any sort was with cocaine about 3 years during my 3rd year of varsity. I took it occasionally but i suspect the quality was terrible because it never did much except to give me a slight rush and put me a little on edge. It did manage to sober me up completely if i took it while i was drunk. ADVANTAGES! :D
Last year, through a friend, we found another dealer and tried CAT (methcathione) which had a much more profound effect on me, basically amped me up, gave me lots of energy and lots of talking and a feeling of empathy with others.
Recently i started taking ecstacy from a new dealer (he has these green kangaroos and white kangaroos) The first time was quite good but i didn't feel that much of a rush or euphoria, although i did dance for almost 8 hours.
The pills that he had most recently looked a lot like these:
http://www.ecstasydata.org/viewtablet.php?ID=1073
On my last visit to him i decided to get a hit of acid as well just for curiosity sake with no real plans to ever take it. Stockpiling you could call it. YEAH RIGHT!
The Unsuspected Trip:
I have no real idea why i decided to take the acid that evening - The only explanation i have is curiosity and some boredom. Well curiosity almost killed the cat this time!
The deceivingly little piece of blotter paper was yellow with a red heart on it. It looked, well, harmless
I remember thinking to myself "How can something so little be dangerous, lets try it out" At this point i was ignoring all advice from Forums i read on LSD and other drugs.
Using my scissors i cut off about 1/3 of the blotter and put it under my tongue just before i went to bath. After about 10minutes of the blotter under my tongue i decided whatever was soaked in is now gone and flushed it away.
Back at my PC in my room i decided that i was sold a dud and might as well try the rest. I dropped the remainig two thirds of the heart and started watching two and a half men TV series on my PC (It's mindless and helps to pass the time)
-- I started feeling something about 30miutes later and i had this incredible mood lift. I couldn't stop myself from smiling and everything on the tv show was very funny. :D
I decided that i would feel even better with a white kangaroo hopping inside me and swallowed a pill. (I believe this is called candy flipping)
About 1 hour later i was still feeling great and started to get that euphoria, tired, comfortable feeling when this feeling of unease hit me. My vision was a bit unusual and the monitor seemed to be blurring and unblurring itself. My Pupils were huge!
I had no sense of how much time had passed but i was feeling pretty tired from a long day and decided to get some sleep. At this point i got much more than i bargained for!
Tripping Bigtime!
The shadow from the lamp on the ceiling was "breathing" almost. It would get darker and darker and then lighten. Controlling this was impossible but i tried for quite a few minutes. I kept noticing small things like a mark on the ceiling which i would stare at for muinutes on end. The curtains (blue and gold) were weaving a little on their own and i almost had a radial view of sorts.
I even tried playing some Quake 3 to keep me occupied- Wow! The game was difficult to play but my aim was almost psychic in a way - Besides the fact that i would get distracted becuase the wall textures were changing color hues and the graphics were pixellating..
At some point during this i decided to close my eyes to get some sleep - CRAP that was a mistake.
When i closed my eyes reality would melt away so to speak, i couldn't hold onto anything to anchor myself to reality. Kaleidoscopes of unusual colours and shapes, two and a half men pictures and lots of sexual kaleidoscopes formed as well.
It's difficult to describe but it was as if reality no longer existed. With my eyes closed whatever i "saw" was real. The more i "watched" the more real it seemed. As this point i was freaking out a bit and i would keep opening my eyes to stop the hallucinations.
One of my ex gf's once told me about her brother who took too much acid and ended up losing his mind. I recalled her saying "he went on a trip and never came back". I became paranoid of this happening to me and everytime i felt myself getting carried away with my eyes closed i would open my eyes to assure myself of reality.
My subconcious evidently expanding on this fear and whenever i closed my eyes i had visualisations of my soul being ejected and other versions of me being injected back into the mould. I had nightmares that i might end up in a continous gladiatoral pit or running a gauntlet in my mind, never to escape back to my body but being trapped in my mind.
I tried taking some Aterax (Benzodiaprene) to try and calm myself down and not sure what effect this had on me except to make me more tired.
The rest of the night was spent trying to sleep in intervals of 15 minutes (I kept opening my eyes to stop the trip from carrying me away) and heavily sweating and drinking lots of water and weird visits to the bathroom.
Some very weird google searches during my trip but i remember reading a page about bad trips and it advised turning on some music i like, counting breaths, and telling oneself "I am immortal, this will pass"
I guess that helped because it got me through the night...
The 8 hours that passed felt like a week to me and i finally fell asleep without visuals at about 5-6am. The next day was equally terrible, i felt uncomfortable in my skin, naesous, couldn't handle large crowds... All in all i regretted it 8)
2 Days later i'm now asking myself "Should i do it again?" :D
Some questions and reflection:
Thanks for reading my story if you've read so far... I'd very much like to receive some feedback - Has anyone experienced something like this?
Most of all i'd like to know, is it possible for someone to take and acid trip and not "come back" ? This was my biggest fear and kept me from enjoying the experience. I feel like if i accepted the visuals and let myself be carried away with my eyes closed i would never have returned to the land of the living so to speak. Is this just paranoia or can it happen?
Can you really lose yourself, get psychosis and lose your identity?
Any advice for me for my next trip if i decide to take it ??
substancecode_LSD
substancecode_Acid
substancecode_Ecstacy
substancecode_MDMA
_combo_
categorycode_solo
categorycode_indoors
categorycode_lowdose
categorycode_difficult
categorycode_recreational
categorycode_powerful
explevel_firsttime
Introduction and Background
My first experience with any drug of any sort was with cocaine about 3 years during my 3rd year of varsity. I took it occasionally but i suspect the quality was terrible because it never did much except to give me a slight rush and put me a little on edge. It did manage to sober me up completely if i took it while i was drunk. ADVANTAGES! :D
Last year, through a friend, we found another dealer and tried CAT (methcathione) which had a much more profound effect on me, basically amped me up, gave me lots of energy and lots of talking and a feeling of empathy with others.
Recently i started taking ecstacy from a new dealer (he has these green kangaroos and white kangaroos) The first time was quite good but i didn't feel that much of a rush or euphoria, although i did dance for almost 8 hours.
The pills that he had most recently looked a lot like these:
http://www.ecstasydata.org/viewtablet.php?ID=1073
On my last visit to him i decided to get a hit of acid as well just for curiosity sake with no real plans to ever take it. Stockpiling you could call it. YEAH RIGHT!
The Unsuspected Trip:
I have no real idea why i decided to take the acid that evening - The only explanation i have is curiosity and some boredom. Well curiosity almost killed the cat this time!
The deceivingly little piece of blotter paper was yellow with a red heart on it. It looked, well, harmless
I remember thinking to myself "How can something so little be dangerous, lets try it out" At this point i was ignoring all advice from Forums i read on LSD and other drugs.Using my scissors i cut off about 1/3 of the blotter and put it under my tongue just before i went to bath. After about 10minutes of the blotter under my tongue i decided whatever was soaked in is now gone and flushed it away.
Back at my PC in my room i decided that i was sold a dud and might as well try the rest. I dropped the remainig two thirds of the heart and started watching two and a half men TV series on my PC (It's mindless and helps to pass the time)
-- I started feeling something about 30miutes later and i had this incredible mood lift. I couldn't stop myself from smiling and everything on the tv show was very funny. :D
I decided that i would feel even better with a white kangaroo hopping inside me and swallowed a pill. (I believe this is called candy flipping)
About 1 hour later i was still feeling great and started to get that euphoria, tired, comfortable feeling when this feeling of unease hit me. My vision was a bit unusual and the monitor seemed to be blurring and unblurring itself. My Pupils were huge!
I had no sense of how much time had passed but i was feeling pretty tired from a long day and decided to get some sleep. At this point i got much more than i bargained for!
Tripping Bigtime!
The shadow from the lamp on the ceiling was "breathing" almost. It would get darker and darker and then lighten. Controlling this was impossible but i tried for quite a few minutes. I kept noticing small things like a mark on the ceiling which i would stare at for muinutes on end. The curtains (blue and gold) were weaving a little on their own and i almost had a radial view of sorts.
I even tried playing some Quake 3 to keep me occupied- Wow! The game was difficult to play but my aim was almost psychic in a way - Besides the fact that i would get distracted becuase the wall textures were changing color hues and the graphics were pixellating..
At some point during this i decided to close my eyes to get some sleep - CRAP that was a mistake.
When i closed my eyes reality would melt away so to speak, i couldn't hold onto anything to anchor myself to reality. Kaleidoscopes of unusual colours and shapes, two and a half men pictures and lots of sexual kaleidoscopes formed as well.It's difficult to describe but it was as if reality no longer existed. With my eyes closed whatever i "saw" was real. The more i "watched" the more real it seemed. As this point i was freaking out a bit and i would keep opening my eyes to stop the hallucinations.
One of my ex gf's once told me about her brother who took too much acid and ended up losing his mind. I recalled her saying "he went on a trip and never came back". I became paranoid of this happening to me and everytime i felt myself getting carried away with my eyes closed i would open my eyes to assure myself of reality.
My subconcious evidently expanding on this fear and whenever i closed my eyes i had visualisations of my soul being ejected and other versions of me being injected back into the mould. I had nightmares that i might end up in a continous gladiatoral pit or running a gauntlet in my mind, never to escape back to my body but being trapped in my mind.
I tried taking some Aterax (Benzodiaprene) to try and calm myself down and not sure what effect this had on me except to make me more tired.
The rest of the night was spent trying to sleep in intervals of 15 minutes (I kept opening my eyes to stop the trip from carrying me away) and heavily sweating and drinking lots of water and weird visits to the bathroom.
Some very weird google searches during my trip but i remember reading a page about bad trips and it advised turning on some music i like, counting breaths, and telling oneself "I am immortal, this will pass"
I guess that helped because it got me through the night...
The 8 hours that passed felt like a week to me and i finally fell asleep without visuals at about 5-6am. The next day was equally terrible, i felt uncomfortable in my skin, naesous, couldn't handle large crowds... All in all i regretted it 8)
2 Days later i'm now asking myself "Should i do it again?" :D
Some questions and reflection:
Thanks for reading my story if you've read so far... I'd very much like to receive some feedback - Has anyone experienced something like this?
Most of all i'd like to know, is it possible for someone to take and acid trip and not "come back" ? This was my biggest fear and kept me from enjoying the experience. I feel like if i accepted the visuals and let myself be carried away with my eyes closed i would never have returned to the land of the living so to speak. Is this just paranoia or can it happen?
Can you really lose yourself, get psychosis and lose your identity?
Any advice for me for my next trip if i decide to take it ??
substancecode_LSD
substancecode_Acid
substancecode_Ecstacy
substancecode_MDMA
_combo_
categorycode_solo
categorycode_indoors
categorycode_lowdose
categorycode_difficult
categorycode_recreational
categorycode_powerful
explevel_firsttime
Last edited by a moderator:
- It was my first trip and i knew i should have had a sitter but the music did help and counting the breaths helped to calm me...
-- The paranoia just seemed so real!
