gotpancakes
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2015
- Messages
- 1
This will be sort of long winded for a number of reasons. First off, this is the first time I am getting the opportunity to sit down and document my experience fully in writing. Secondly, although I have told a few close friends about the experience, nothing beats just getting all the words down in writing and it helps that I'm anonymous. Thank you for those who take the time to read as it may provide some insights for those who, like me, aren't used to the psychedelic experience. But I think it may help regular users understand how some of us finally jump ship and why we all experience the other side in radically different ways. It truly is unexplainable until you sink your teeth in for yourself.
Back Story: I'm 24, graduated from college a year ago and now going through an interesting transitionary phase in my life. Leaving behind or at the very least redirecting the motivation/practice of a lot of what I have grown up believing. Specifically, the Christian faith. In short I spent this past year in part as a "faithless missionary". Recently I had to take a long road trip cross country and ended up stopping in Denver to visit friends who had recently moved there. Knowing that I had been opening up my thoughts and beliefs, tearing down walls, my buddy decided we should go camping and offered the opportunity for us to drop acid. Now, conceptually I have been interested in psychedelics for quite a long time. It's always been intriguing to me that we have substances that help us remove ourselves from our narrow mind's eyes brought on by years conditioning and development in maturity. I have believed that when used at the right time and with responsibility some drugs offer great introspection, seeing things with a sort of removed objectiveness. Hell, even cannabis can allow users to see through bullshit around us.
The Pre-Trip: We smoked a good bit the days leading up to our camping trip, something I had not done in about 6months prior. Although he would bring it up the LSD in conversation a few times, I didn't respond much. Truth be told, as interested I was in partaking in the trip (by this point I had already verbally committed) I was very nervous. I was afraid of what I had stored up in that brain of mine, what lies I had built up about myself, what I would be confronted with. I also had a good amount of time to do some online research before I got into Denver (mostly this forum, thanks for being a great resource by the way) and because of that I had built up a good deal of skepticism about what we would be taking. I mean fuck man, how can we be 100% sure what we are putting into our bodies these days. The acid culture from what I have come to understand had something very special going for them in late 60's/early 70's in regards to purity. Anyway, we finally got out into the woods and the first night was mostly spent setting up camp, smoked a few j's and generally just bullshitting around.
The next morning came and it wasn't until he broke out the acid. I strictly use "acid" instead of LSD because I'm not sure what it was although I was told it was LSD (I'll explain that briefly. His connect was camping with us and was a legit cannabis grower with pretty well established grow in the Denver area so I do throw a little a little credibility towards his source vs. some rando street dealer. I was very aware how easy it is these days to be sold RC's, something I didn't want to fuck with, so I factored a good bit of things in.
The Substance: Two white, thicker than normal pieces of paper about half the size of my pinky nail. Tasteless, no bitterness nor was there numbing. So far, so good from what I understand. Now, I'm the kinda guy who if he goes into something, he's going all the way. I wanted the full experience and wanted to know how many micrograms I would be taking in (was hoping to receive around 150mics. No such information was available to me.
What threw me off was the 2 blotters instead of a full one tab. I was told that the second one was "more visual" and that there are "different kinds of acid that have different effects." At that point it was too late but I was definitely calling bullshit. I knew enough at that point to know that LSD-25 is LSD-25, no variations unless it's something else.
The Trip: I kept the blotters under my tongue for about 30ish minutes before deciding to swallow and was told it would take about 45min for it to kick in and that it would come in waves. I decided to relax in my hammock until I started noticing anything and did so for at least an hour.
The first thing I noticed was my social awareness went into hyperdrive, something similar to over analytical thinking when stoned. I got out of my hammock with ease and leaned on it around the fire, simply observing my 2 friends who were also tripping. A slight feeling of euphoria came on and felt very relaxed. One friend began to laugh uncontrollably while the other took advantage of his giggles and sort of provoked them for about 40min off and on. Now, while standing there I found my self interestingly removed from the situation in a very observatory manner as if I was reading their interactions from a 3rd person POV in a book. I was emotionally there THERE (laughing when I found something to be funny) but I was also very not "in their midst". I didn't like what my friend was doing, making him laugh at any movement, almost "puppetizing" his emotions. I didn't find it to be fair for his experience. Kind of asshole-ish if you ask me. I knew and felt that if I stayed there any longer, I would fall into either the same trap or something worse, it made me very un-easy. I decided to take a hike by myself and explore my own world. This was a term I coined during my trip and a concept I couldn't let go of.
2 Hours in I walked about 100 yards out of the camp sight into the woods and found myself visualizing what I believed could have been a trail or path of sorts hundreds of years before. There was in my eyes this un-natural way the grass/rocks and trees where laid out and that over time erosion and natural growth eventually took over. I decided to follow this path for another 200+ yards until I looked down at the grown and really began to notice the topography. Lots of green (grass) and grey (rocks/dirt) and THEN a shit ton of color made itself available for me to notice. It was as if I had lived my life not really noticing how truly beautiful and available color is on the ground in the form of flowers and other plants. For whatever reason, I decided to start collecting these individual plants. White, red wine, blue, purple, yellow, orange, I had a had a world of color in my hand.
At some point I just stopped and reflected on who I am and became self aware of something I had not before really identified with: I am at my core, a very peaceful person. I do not wish to bring harm to others nor do I/should I feel guilty about anything in my past as it relates to my relations with others. A lot of stress left me at that moment as I came to understand that I am, for the most part, a person who generally seeks to love others and put them in the best position to succeed at whatever that are after in this life. I did not feel "peaceful" or have this extreme euphoria of good happy feelings. It was more like I just personified myself as peace at my core.
I felt nervous at some point about being far from my friends. Not that I thought I was going to get lost or anything, rather, I was afraid of them worrying about me and creating some ordeal of me being lost. So rather than going any further and causing a frenzy on their end, I decided to head back. Mind you, this is in the mountains, so although I was 300ish yards away, I could still hear them pretty well. About halfway down I discovered they were on their way looking for me and then shit got weird. I began to sneak around them undetected and spy on them in a goofy hide and sneak sort of way. They didn't know this as I was really into being alone at that time so I continued to follow them around, it was hilarious to me. I then started think about how sad it was that they were too preoccupied with my situation that they couldnt enjoy their own experience for themselves. At that moment the phrase "Explore your own world." came to mind. I began to really appreciate that we all come from different walks of life and our individual world views allow us to see things in either slightly or sometimes drastically different lenses. Unfortunately, like my friends in that moment, we get caught up in the lives or agendas of others. Our lives are so short and valuable, why waste any time over extending ourselves into shit that doesn't matter in the long run. I'm still having trouble putting these thoughts into words but needless to say, my mind was exploding with this discovery.
Eventually I got about 5 feet from them and they still handnt noticed me! They then decided to turn back with one of them saying that I was "probably on the top of the mountain having an amazing spiritual experience." I almost blew my cover b/c he was so right, I was, but I was literally close enough to spit on him.
Visuals: Not a whole lot of weird visuals or anything as popularized by movies/television/media. I saw colors as vibrant as ever and in general i felt like I had HD Vision. Things just popped unlike ever before. When I closed my eyes however, it was a ton of red, green, blue Xish patterns that kept going in a loop in front of a bright white background.
I wrapped around our campsite up to higher ground where they eventually spotted me. I should have been more cautious than I was and surprisingly my friends weren't worried but I was literally rock climbing on the edge of the mountain side where a 45 foot drop awaited me had I slipped. I got to the top and started looking at the clouds, this was when the HD vision really came into play. They felt so close and real.I feel like we normally just look at the clouds and think "oh hey, clouds" in a 2-D head space. But FUCK MAN these clouds were gorgeous. The same thing can be said about the fire later on that night. I kept buring sticks and grabbing the end and staring at the fire and blowing on their embers for hours. Reason for which I will now explain.
Night came and things got sort of unpleasant for me. My friend kept antagonizing the other into laughing over and over again like before. It was as if he held the trigger to the gun and kept firing in a very sadistic way. This made me very anxious and uneasy about the whole situation and kept me from engaging with him in any meaningful way. I felt that for some reason I had centered myself with the experience if that makes sense and could easily step away from their non-sense in a very calm and collected manner. This is why I spent so much time enraptured by the fire. Whereas for them, they were stuck in this very (i guess) happy but unhealthy, anxious laughing. The kind of laughing you do when you're faking but I believe they were genuine, it was just lasting waaaay to long for me and I was able to calmly remove myself from it. I wanted no part.
I unfortunately didn't have service and no music on my iPhone so I was really really pissed I couldn't enjoy my favorite jams, it's something that has made smoking weed so enjoyable for me. I spent the rest of the night in my hammock, couldn't fall asleep. My brain just raced anxiously until probably 4-5am (we dropped at around 1pm) and then I woke and everything was pretty normal, pretty tired though.
Thanks to those who took the time to read. It's been about a month since then and I'm still reflecting on the experience. I still don't know for sure what I took but I feel pretty confident it was LSD considering some of the factors available to me. I feel like my experience was on the edge of breaking through to a full dosage so I would like to get my hands on more soon. My buddy said he'd like to send me a tab and half for my birthday in a couple weeks. He said this go around he got his hands on much better than the stuff I took. Said he took it while at a Red Rocks edm concert and it was wild.
I wanted to ask, when would be a good time to drop again? From what I understand shrooms and acid aren't substance you take on a regular basis. So should I wait a while? I'm planning on getting a test kit to be sure of what I'm taking this go around. Any feedback, info or whatever you think may be helpful moving forward is greatly appreciated. I don't plan on using psychedelics much more often moving forward but opening that door has definitely wedged it open for a little while longer.
Back Story: I'm 24, graduated from college a year ago and now going through an interesting transitionary phase in my life. Leaving behind or at the very least redirecting the motivation/practice of a lot of what I have grown up believing. Specifically, the Christian faith. In short I spent this past year in part as a "faithless missionary". Recently I had to take a long road trip cross country and ended up stopping in Denver to visit friends who had recently moved there. Knowing that I had been opening up my thoughts and beliefs, tearing down walls, my buddy decided we should go camping and offered the opportunity for us to drop acid. Now, conceptually I have been interested in psychedelics for quite a long time. It's always been intriguing to me that we have substances that help us remove ourselves from our narrow mind's eyes brought on by years conditioning and development in maturity. I have believed that when used at the right time and with responsibility some drugs offer great introspection, seeing things with a sort of removed objectiveness. Hell, even cannabis can allow users to see through bullshit around us.
The Pre-Trip: We smoked a good bit the days leading up to our camping trip, something I had not done in about 6months prior. Although he would bring it up the LSD in conversation a few times, I didn't respond much. Truth be told, as interested I was in partaking in the trip (by this point I had already verbally committed) I was very nervous. I was afraid of what I had stored up in that brain of mine, what lies I had built up about myself, what I would be confronted with. I also had a good amount of time to do some online research before I got into Denver (mostly this forum, thanks for being a great resource by the way) and because of that I had built up a good deal of skepticism about what we would be taking. I mean fuck man, how can we be 100% sure what we are putting into our bodies these days. The acid culture from what I have come to understand had something very special going for them in late 60's/early 70's in regards to purity. Anyway, we finally got out into the woods and the first night was mostly spent setting up camp, smoked a few j's and generally just bullshitting around.
The next morning came and it wasn't until he broke out the acid. I strictly use "acid" instead of LSD because I'm not sure what it was although I was told it was LSD (I'll explain that briefly. His connect was camping with us and was a legit cannabis grower with pretty well established grow in the Denver area so I do throw a little a little credibility towards his source vs. some rando street dealer. I was very aware how easy it is these days to be sold RC's, something I didn't want to fuck with, so I factored a good bit of things in.
The Substance: Two white, thicker than normal pieces of paper about half the size of my pinky nail. Tasteless, no bitterness nor was there numbing. So far, so good from what I understand. Now, I'm the kinda guy who if he goes into something, he's going all the way. I wanted the full experience and wanted to know how many micrograms I would be taking in (was hoping to receive around 150mics. No such information was available to me.
What threw me off was the 2 blotters instead of a full one tab. I was told that the second one was "more visual" and that there are "different kinds of acid that have different effects." At that point it was too late but I was definitely calling bullshit. I knew enough at that point to know that LSD-25 is LSD-25, no variations unless it's something else.
The Trip: I kept the blotters under my tongue for about 30ish minutes before deciding to swallow and was told it would take about 45min for it to kick in and that it would come in waves. I decided to relax in my hammock until I started noticing anything and did so for at least an hour.
The first thing I noticed was my social awareness went into hyperdrive, something similar to over analytical thinking when stoned. I got out of my hammock with ease and leaned on it around the fire, simply observing my 2 friends who were also tripping. A slight feeling of euphoria came on and felt very relaxed. One friend began to laugh uncontrollably while the other took advantage of his giggles and sort of provoked them for about 40min off and on. Now, while standing there I found my self interestingly removed from the situation in a very observatory manner as if I was reading their interactions from a 3rd person POV in a book. I was emotionally there THERE (laughing when I found something to be funny) but I was also very not "in their midst". I didn't like what my friend was doing, making him laugh at any movement, almost "puppetizing" his emotions. I didn't find it to be fair for his experience. Kind of asshole-ish if you ask me. I knew and felt that if I stayed there any longer, I would fall into either the same trap or something worse, it made me very un-easy. I decided to take a hike by myself and explore my own world. This was a term I coined during my trip and a concept I couldn't let go of.
2 Hours in I walked about 100 yards out of the camp sight into the woods and found myself visualizing what I believed could have been a trail or path of sorts hundreds of years before. There was in my eyes this un-natural way the grass/rocks and trees where laid out and that over time erosion and natural growth eventually took over. I decided to follow this path for another 200+ yards until I looked down at the grown and really began to notice the topography. Lots of green (grass) and grey (rocks/dirt) and THEN a shit ton of color made itself available for me to notice. It was as if I had lived my life not really noticing how truly beautiful and available color is on the ground in the form of flowers and other plants. For whatever reason, I decided to start collecting these individual plants. White, red wine, blue, purple, yellow, orange, I had a had a world of color in my hand.
At some point I just stopped and reflected on who I am and became self aware of something I had not before really identified with: I am at my core, a very peaceful person. I do not wish to bring harm to others nor do I/should I feel guilty about anything in my past as it relates to my relations with others. A lot of stress left me at that moment as I came to understand that I am, for the most part, a person who generally seeks to love others and put them in the best position to succeed at whatever that are after in this life. I did not feel "peaceful" or have this extreme euphoria of good happy feelings. It was more like I just personified myself as peace at my core.
I felt nervous at some point about being far from my friends. Not that I thought I was going to get lost or anything, rather, I was afraid of them worrying about me and creating some ordeal of me being lost. So rather than going any further and causing a frenzy on their end, I decided to head back. Mind you, this is in the mountains, so although I was 300ish yards away, I could still hear them pretty well. About halfway down I discovered they were on their way looking for me and then shit got weird. I began to sneak around them undetected and spy on them in a goofy hide and sneak sort of way. They didn't know this as I was really into being alone at that time so I continued to follow them around, it was hilarious to me. I then started think about how sad it was that they were too preoccupied with my situation that they couldnt enjoy their own experience for themselves. At that moment the phrase "Explore your own world." came to mind. I began to really appreciate that we all come from different walks of life and our individual world views allow us to see things in either slightly or sometimes drastically different lenses. Unfortunately, like my friends in that moment, we get caught up in the lives or agendas of others. Our lives are so short and valuable, why waste any time over extending ourselves into shit that doesn't matter in the long run. I'm still having trouble putting these thoughts into words but needless to say, my mind was exploding with this discovery.
Eventually I got about 5 feet from them and they still handnt noticed me! They then decided to turn back with one of them saying that I was "probably on the top of the mountain having an amazing spiritual experience." I almost blew my cover b/c he was so right, I was, but I was literally close enough to spit on him.
Visuals: Not a whole lot of weird visuals or anything as popularized by movies/television/media. I saw colors as vibrant as ever and in general i felt like I had HD Vision. Things just popped unlike ever before. When I closed my eyes however, it was a ton of red, green, blue Xish patterns that kept going in a loop in front of a bright white background.
I wrapped around our campsite up to higher ground where they eventually spotted me. I should have been more cautious than I was and surprisingly my friends weren't worried but I was literally rock climbing on the edge of the mountain side where a 45 foot drop awaited me had I slipped. I got to the top and started looking at the clouds, this was when the HD vision really came into play. They felt so close and real.I feel like we normally just look at the clouds and think "oh hey, clouds" in a 2-D head space. But FUCK MAN these clouds were gorgeous. The same thing can be said about the fire later on that night. I kept buring sticks and grabbing the end and staring at the fire and blowing on their embers for hours. Reason for which I will now explain.
Night came and things got sort of unpleasant for me. My friend kept antagonizing the other into laughing over and over again like before. It was as if he held the trigger to the gun and kept firing in a very sadistic way. This made me very anxious and uneasy about the whole situation and kept me from engaging with him in any meaningful way. I felt that for some reason I had centered myself with the experience if that makes sense and could easily step away from their non-sense in a very calm and collected manner. This is why I spent so much time enraptured by the fire. Whereas for them, they were stuck in this very (i guess) happy but unhealthy, anxious laughing. The kind of laughing you do when you're faking but I believe they were genuine, it was just lasting waaaay to long for me and I was able to calmly remove myself from it. I wanted no part.
I unfortunately didn't have service and no music on my iPhone so I was really really pissed I couldn't enjoy my favorite jams, it's something that has made smoking weed so enjoyable for me. I spent the rest of the night in my hammock, couldn't fall asleep. My brain just raced anxiously until probably 4-5am (we dropped at around 1pm) and then I woke and everything was pretty normal, pretty tired though.
Thanks to those who took the time to read. It's been about a month since then and I'm still reflecting on the experience. I still don't know for sure what I took but I feel pretty confident it was LSD considering some of the factors available to me. I feel like my experience was on the edge of breaking through to a full dosage so I would like to get my hands on more soon. My buddy said he'd like to send me a tab and half for my birthday in a couple weeks. He said this go around he got his hands on much better than the stuff I took. Said he took it while at a Red Rocks edm concert and it was wild.
I wanted to ask, when would be a good time to drop again? From what I understand shrooms and acid aren't substance you take on a regular basis. So should I wait a while? I'm planning on getting a test kit to be sure of what I'm taking this go around. Any feedback, info or whatever you think may be helpful moving forward is greatly appreciated. I don't plan on using psychedelics much more often moving forward but opening that door has definitely wedged it open for a little while longer.
