tastethealex
Bluelighter
I posted this originally on another forum, it was spread out throughout the "Trip" as I wrote this while in the midst of my adventure. Enjoy.
Entry #1
I warn you now this is going to be a long entry... This adventure is merely in the middle of a long needed vacation from reality... the Vacation didn't get off to a great start, but the experience has turned for the better and I only see good in the future...
at around 3pm thursday afternoon I received a special letter in the mail... this letter contained a very special friend of mine I have recently come to love probably way more than I should... this friend was LSD...
almost immediately after opening I placed a tab on the tip of my tongue... I almost instantly regretted this situation knowing I was going to be the only one frying, not to mention the only one who has ever done acid in the group of friends I was to be spending my day with... however IDGAFAS and decided to embark upon the momentous journey...
I relax in my back yard watching the water flow through the various levels of our water fall leading to a koi pond in the center of our yard. very calm and relaxing, I feed my fish as I watch them swim in endless circles weaving between the the lilies and plants we have growing in the pond, content on what a beautiful day it is and preparing my mind for the journey to come... About an hour passes by and I start to notice the little hints that my normal state of mind is beginning to fade away. and so I get into my old roommates care and we head back to his apartment we throw on some music and begin to play geometry wars, so far so good. my other roommate gets home having just finishing up his last class for the summer we decided we wanna go stop by a clinic and pick up some weed, informing him of my quickly fading sense of reality we head out. being I'm the only one who has a current recommendation I must go in alone. we go to the closest clinic to our house which is in a small community on the border of LA and OC this clinic isn't like most clinics, its a by word of mouth patient referral only. so while walking up I get stopped by the security guard asking if I have been there before, cause well If I hadn't then I would not be allowed to enter, so far so good... no sooner do I walk through those clinic doors my first tab hits me...overcome by paranoia that they will know I'm under the influence of something I should not be, I make my purchase and leave... my friend is down the street getting gas already I notice my concept of time has left me... how long had it been since I was in the clinic... how long was I in there... how long have I been walking down this road under the freeway intersection... I begin to feel alone... I think to myself the drugs are starting to sink in, get ahold of yourself, so I begin to watch the tracers of the cars flying past as I compile the sounds of everything around me into natures own sound tract of life... I find my way back to the car, my friends immediately knowing things have changed for me seeing the big grin i have on my face....
We get back to the apartment and pack a few bowls, all sounded like fun and games... little did i know what lay ahead... At this point, my stoned roommates decide they want to watch the DNC, me being in my own little world go along with it soon realizing the mistake I made.... Politics and Acid don't mix.. I have never been so bored... slowly slipping to the dark dark boredom i grab for my headphones and throw on some shpongle, close my eyes and let my mind carry me away... why did I do this? Why have I been doing so much acid lately? Where is my life going? what do I have to show for myself? so many questions going through my mind and no way to answer them, what will people think of me? further and further i bury myself in these questions of guilt and remorse not knowing how long its been or how much longer it will last... my mind wants to cry out for this all to be over, too much input and not enough to possess it all at once, I cant handle this, what am I going to do... I break the chain of thought enough to get myself together and step outside for a smoke... I gaze in the window to see my 2 roommates high as a kite looking half dead with their eyes glued on the political television which is making no sense to me at all at the moment, I don't knwo how much time has passed by but luckily i have managed to make it through this trial of torment by reminding my self I'm frying and all will come back to reality soon enough...
sometime after dark my friend jon shows up, this is good, a familiar face amongst my raving friends, he will understand what it is I am going through, although he has never tried acid, hes seen people under the influence before, so finally i felt safe and at peace again, we smoke a few more bowls and start playing some video games... the frame rates have slown down to proportions I have never before seen, we are playing Soul Caliber 4, and I am tearing shit up... never before has one move flowed so smoothly into the next completing combo after combo, seeing the moves they throw in and avoid them as if this was a battle for my own life, many games go by, feeling much accomplished having won several more than I had lost, my spirits began to lift up, eventually we are gamed out so we decide to throw in a movie, we decide to watch Princess Mononoke a great movie, which ending went extremely well to the Deadmau5 playlist I have playing on my headphones..., movies over and its time to head home....
My friend drops me off at home around 2am, knowing I have to get up in a few hours to catch a train to the Valley as I do every weekend i decide to pop another tab do a load of laundry and watch some cartoons while listening to music... such a great idea, as I slowly begin to melt away back into my bliss and escape from reality... I notice a light from under the door as my father gets up to get ready for work... I continue to watch cartoons as I am in the TV room away from him no need to worry, then the door opens, he steps inside grabs a pair of socks makes brief eye contact shuts the door and leaves... all sounds well, however that moment when eye contact was made felt like an eternity, all the doubt and shame previously having gone through my head during the day once again returning then vanishing within a fraction of a second yet leaving a deep enough impact to feel for the next 30 minutes or so... I decide to take a step outside and smoke a cigarette and listen to some music.
music, it makes my brain smile, i almost instantly forget everything bad that has ever happened in my life and let the music take over, I begin to let it flow through my body as I notice I begin to dance, with my cat now weaving continuously between my legs i feel at one with the music, nature, and the whole universe as I stare into the heavens and let loose, dancing under the stars listening to my headphones playing some amazing psytrance before i know its light out, how long have I been out here dancing, who cares? it felt right, it felt good, this is merely the middle of what is the greatest vacation I have ever taken from reality...
I come back inside to realize my mom is in the shower... I wonder if she saw me dancing outside??? anywho, time to calm a bit relax, and prepare my mind for tab #3 my final boarding place for this journey, I write this now while my mom gets ready, and having a conversation with her about the train and my plans for the week I needed to kill some time, I will be taking my last tab of the journey around 8am, begin my walk to the train station and board my train and head out to the valley by 8:40, listen to some great music and watch the world go by...
I cant wait to see where this goes... I feel better now than i have in years, I put a couple tabs aside one for this weekend, and another one for next weekend, then I will be taking a break for a bit to let my mind recompile itself, unless of course I manage to pull my life together before I run out... in which case only time will tell....
This is all for now... I must shower and prepare for the day ahead... I will report on how my last tab wen when i have come to and sobered up, till them... PLUR
Entry 2
Tab 3 - The Train
threw the third tab in my mouth roughly 7:30am, hopped in the shower and began my day, now psyched on the day ahead lyes a journey I had no idea I was getting myself into...
The walk -
Its roughly 8am and I have to begin my mile and a half walk to the train station feeling more of a comedown from the previous tab I venture out into the day with a backpack full of lantern fuel and a bag full of clothes for the weekend... all feels normal as my walk begins... slowly i start to notice reality slow down and the music bumps up, Deadmau5 for the next 3 hours full blast in my ears non stop, like a personal sound system bumpin in my ears the bass peaks the perfect note and i notice as I almost stumble, but more like take a step into this new world with no boundaries... everything flows now, the music is messaging my brain and my vision shakes with every beat, i close my eyes as i walk and imagine the trail ahead, the visions in my mind flow with the reality i have now created, I cant wait for what lyes ahead...
The Train station -
I go into the little cafe because i need to break a $20, so I buy a fruit cup, and some gummie savers, I've really been craving fruit lately, as i sit waiting for the train to arrive I savor every piece of freshly cut fruit, shortly as i reach the bottom of the cup the train arrives, the moment I have been waiting for...
The Train -
I find a place to sit, some where tucked alone so as not to create too much commotion, im in my own world right now and do not need to be disturbed... as I look around at the people surrounding me I notice so many happy faces, people coming together for a moment and respecting each other completely for the small moment they travel through space in this capsule... I notice a pretty face a few rows up and notice shes not smiling... I catch a glimpse of a quick smile, this made my day, it looked absolutely beautiful, at that moment the whole world was happy, or at least in her world, that smile screamed it out loud, but it was gone and over all too soon, I gaze out the window and watch the world pass by, as everything moves along to the beats messaging the deepest insides of my brain...
I arrive at union and switch trains, this second train is empty, aside from one girl sitting on the far end of the train, I can only catch a glimpse of her sleeve if I slightly leaned to the left, I lean my head back and melt into my surroundings, the music which is stimulating my brain in areas I never knew possible, my mind was beginning to get gently fucked, reality becomes surreal and I prepare for the day that lies ahead as my train nears its destination
The Hellos -
I arrive at my friends school where I great some fellow raver friends of mine, my weekend has officially begun, this overwhelming power of joy surrounds me this is what I live for at this moment, the reason I make it through my weeks, my platform, my home, this is where i feel I am me...
the Mind Fuck -
We head down to my friends older brothers apartment, very nice by the way, and we smoke a couple bowls, thinking things would stay as they are, boy was I in for a whole new world of visuals, sound, outer body experience, you name it, i flew through a portal to a new dimension... i could no longer make sence of anything going on in reality, I had completely entered a new dimension, colors started bleeding out of the walls, the floors, my arms, anything my eyes could catch glimpse of, creating its own rhythm the patters shifted and moved and everything began to move as I look outside and see the clouds take shape and then start dancing with each other, fractals raining out of the sky... what is this feeling where have I taken myself? I realize now that #3 is peaking, and much much stronger than the previous 2 of the night, not too sure how i managed to remain cool, no one at this point even pondering if I am frying, my mindfuck is under complete control, in and out of this tunnel through dimensions I never knew possible, remembering my shroom high where I lost all reality, this had by far surpassed those lines and continued skipping down the road to the unknown...
Reality? -
slowly I begin to feel the heat overwhelm me and reality slowly begins to sink back into the back of my mind, we get some food, and venture into the dollar store where i find this small backpack which would be a perfect replacement for the bag ive currently been taking to parties... we get back to my friends house (my home away from home) and we eat, reality takes another bite and i begin to relax.. however it is still hot, so nothing a quick shower cant fix... the water hitting my face rinsing off the grime and the sweat from the heat brings me new birth to what I can only at this moment manage to call a reality, although still much further away from this world i grasp its concepts, and at this moment, ask myself, to I call it a day and go to sleep now, of do I overcome the boundaries , relax take it easy find a party for the night and prep for tab 4?
right now, only time will tell, I must now get some rest ass my fry has reached hour 24 and in no way have i come down, yet at least ive began to notice im coming back...
Entry 3
the adventure continues!
the nap-
after I posted, i let my mind wind down and i prepared for rest, i wanted to go out still so i couldn't exactly sleep, i lay on the floor listening to music, i begin to melt into the floor and leave my body, i took a step into the dream world, however i was still awake, listening to the music, time went by like nothing, before i knew it 2 hours had past, my friend washed his car and cut hit hair, showered, etc... when this was done i felt refreshed, slightly on the comedown, but still feeling the remains of my fry I notice how many people I know and look forward to seeing every chance i get are going, a few worlds slipped to my friend hinting at going and the decision was made, were going, my adventure is not yet over...
TAB 4-
we get our shit packed and head out to meet a couple friends, and i place tab #4 on my tongue... we arrive to pick up our friend, unfortunately they didn't have their IDs and couldn't come along, and so we head out... at this point my tracers are beginning to come back and the melody of life begins to flow a bit stronger, i know at this point as soon as i get in that door and the music hits we I'll be gone... boy was I right...!
the party -
as soon as I get in i begin to see familiar comforting faces, on the way out of the car I run into Lokimon, say hello, and continue on inside, spoof was at the door giving out the 21+ wristbands upon entry i head to the back and am spotted by Lawless!, boy was this a good surprise, friends i wasn't expecting to see even being there. i weave around to see who I know and here goes my shout outs: Fizzy, Masq, Apollo, Jordan, Intel, Psilo, Boss, sorry if I missed anyone. this was exactly what i needed to finish my journey, good music, good faces, good vibes. i step into the music, and let it take over, like on the train only this time i can feel it so much better, throughout my whole body, i once again loose track of time and can no longer tell if my eyes are open or closed, my mind is only seeing what it wants, i leave my body once again and travel to the fifth dimension, I relive my journey over and over, discussing with myself how I felt and the experience I learned, what was my over all quest, has it been accomplished? is this everything I wanted it to be, exactly what I had hopped and foreseen, only better, because this time its really happening?
Yes.
Dance...
as i snap back to reality and instantly begin to dance every time, i know and love that I have accomplished everything I had hoped, and even more, Mission success!
my journey is complete... as my energy begins to run low due to the lack of sleep, the dancing, the 30+ hours of frying, and by the time I get to sleep it will have been just over 36 hours, I say my goodbyes, every one seeming to be so understanding, jordan sneaking in a couple pics before we head out, its still fairly early, but my night is done, i have accomplished all that I needed, we head back, grab something to drink smoke a bowl and go home, i sit here now as i wind down, no music playing the tv softly in the back but my mind is still bumping a good beat, I look forward to a good sleep and a great tomorrow where i can reflect on my journey and take in everything I learned from it...
what I accomplished -
the main thing I would like to point out about what lead my and inspired my journey, at moon drop I dropped my first tab, since then i have dropped (including this journey) 8 tabs, moon drop was just under 1 month ago, I felt I may end up with an addiction to a powerful substance if I didn't do something soon, I saw the opportunity and i pushed my boundaries, much further than I thought I could, I need to take this for all its worth do everything I could all at once, get it out, get over it. I now have complete respect for LSD, it broke me down, it brought me back up, i controlled it, leaving no one i didn't want knowing what i was doing questioning my sobriety or the hint that I may be under any substance, I controlled it, lost in my mind, complete sense of reality shattered as I dazed at the fractals the shards of this shattered reality is creating, and remained looking normal. I have a tab saved for one more day in the near future, and then I'm taking a break, sober rave on sunday (sober meaning pot is still allowed, just no hard substance.) I no longer feel the need for acid, ive seen what it can do and I respect it.
What I learned about myself -
always be happy, there's never a good enough reason to be sad. and on a deeper level, i lived my life before day by day always trying to figure out how im going to be the person I want to be and not truly concentrating on getting accomplished what i really need to be doing with my life. today i realized, I am exactly who I have always wanted to be, If there's a will, there's a way! a saying i have recently been realizing my whole life has evolved around, when i want something bad enough, I always find a way, weather i have to sacrifice something in order to get what i want, i will accept what I must and get where I need to be, I need to stop worrying about trying to be someone i created in my head, realize I already am that person, now just take care of life, the rest will come together as it should.
thank you again to everyone I saw tonight, you mean more to me then you all may know, I don't think i would have gotten all i needed from this experience if i didn't have people like you accepting my presence with open minds, open hearts and open arms, thank you again, you all made everything worth while....
I am going to sleep now, watch the visions i know i will see, as the effects still linger, looking forward to sobriety in the morning, let my brain rest, reflect, relax, gnight world thank you for letting me have this journey, I will never forget it!
Entry #1
I warn you now this is going to be a long entry... This adventure is merely in the middle of a long needed vacation from reality... the Vacation didn't get off to a great start, but the experience has turned for the better and I only see good in the future...
at around 3pm thursday afternoon I received a special letter in the mail... this letter contained a very special friend of mine I have recently come to love probably way more than I should... this friend was LSD...
almost immediately after opening I placed a tab on the tip of my tongue... I almost instantly regretted this situation knowing I was going to be the only one frying, not to mention the only one who has ever done acid in the group of friends I was to be spending my day with... however IDGAFAS and decided to embark upon the momentous journey...
I relax in my back yard watching the water flow through the various levels of our water fall leading to a koi pond in the center of our yard. very calm and relaxing, I feed my fish as I watch them swim in endless circles weaving between the the lilies and plants we have growing in the pond, content on what a beautiful day it is and preparing my mind for the journey to come... About an hour passes by and I start to notice the little hints that my normal state of mind is beginning to fade away. and so I get into my old roommates care and we head back to his apartment we throw on some music and begin to play geometry wars, so far so good. my other roommate gets home having just finishing up his last class for the summer we decided we wanna go stop by a clinic and pick up some weed, informing him of my quickly fading sense of reality we head out. being I'm the only one who has a current recommendation I must go in alone. we go to the closest clinic to our house which is in a small community on the border of LA and OC this clinic isn't like most clinics, its a by word of mouth patient referral only. so while walking up I get stopped by the security guard asking if I have been there before, cause well If I hadn't then I would not be allowed to enter, so far so good... no sooner do I walk through those clinic doors my first tab hits me...overcome by paranoia that they will know I'm under the influence of something I should not be, I make my purchase and leave... my friend is down the street getting gas already I notice my concept of time has left me... how long had it been since I was in the clinic... how long was I in there... how long have I been walking down this road under the freeway intersection... I begin to feel alone... I think to myself the drugs are starting to sink in, get ahold of yourself, so I begin to watch the tracers of the cars flying past as I compile the sounds of everything around me into natures own sound tract of life... I find my way back to the car, my friends immediately knowing things have changed for me seeing the big grin i have on my face....
We get back to the apartment and pack a few bowls, all sounded like fun and games... little did i know what lay ahead... At this point, my stoned roommates decide they want to watch the DNC, me being in my own little world go along with it soon realizing the mistake I made.... Politics and Acid don't mix.. I have never been so bored... slowly slipping to the dark dark boredom i grab for my headphones and throw on some shpongle, close my eyes and let my mind carry me away... why did I do this? Why have I been doing so much acid lately? Where is my life going? what do I have to show for myself? so many questions going through my mind and no way to answer them, what will people think of me? further and further i bury myself in these questions of guilt and remorse not knowing how long its been or how much longer it will last... my mind wants to cry out for this all to be over, too much input and not enough to possess it all at once, I cant handle this, what am I going to do... I break the chain of thought enough to get myself together and step outside for a smoke... I gaze in the window to see my 2 roommates high as a kite looking half dead with their eyes glued on the political television which is making no sense to me at all at the moment, I don't knwo how much time has passed by but luckily i have managed to make it through this trial of torment by reminding my self I'm frying and all will come back to reality soon enough...
sometime after dark my friend jon shows up, this is good, a familiar face amongst my raving friends, he will understand what it is I am going through, although he has never tried acid, hes seen people under the influence before, so finally i felt safe and at peace again, we smoke a few more bowls and start playing some video games... the frame rates have slown down to proportions I have never before seen, we are playing Soul Caliber 4, and I am tearing shit up... never before has one move flowed so smoothly into the next completing combo after combo, seeing the moves they throw in and avoid them as if this was a battle for my own life, many games go by, feeling much accomplished having won several more than I had lost, my spirits began to lift up, eventually we are gamed out so we decide to throw in a movie, we decide to watch Princess Mononoke a great movie, which ending went extremely well to the Deadmau5 playlist I have playing on my headphones..., movies over and its time to head home....
My friend drops me off at home around 2am, knowing I have to get up in a few hours to catch a train to the Valley as I do every weekend i decide to pop another tab do a load of laundry and watch some cartoons while listening to music... such a great idea, as I slowly begin to melt away back into my bliss and escape from reality... I notice a light from under the door as my father gets up to get ready for work... I continue to watch cartoons as I am in the TV room away from him no need to worry, then the door opens, he steps inside grabs a pair of socks makes brief eye contact shuts the door and leaves... all sounds well, however that moment when eye contact was made felt like an eternity, all the doubt and shame previously having gone through my head during the day once again returning then vanishing within a fraction of a second yet leaving a deep enough impact to feel for the next 30 minutes or so... I decide to take a step outside and smoke a cigarette and listen to some music.
music, it makes my brain smile, i almost instantly forget everything bad that has ever happened in my life and let the music take over, I begin to let it flow through my body as I notice I begin to dance, with my cat now weaving continuously between my legs i feel at one with the music, nature, and the whole universe as I stare into the heavens and let loose, dancing under the stars listening to my headphones playing some amazing psytrance before i know its light out, how long have I been out here dancing, who cares? it felt right, it felt good, this is merely the middle of what is the greatest vacation I have ever taken from reality...
I come back inside to realize my mom is in the shower... I wonder if she saw me dancing outside??? anywho, time to calm a bit relax, and prepare my mind for tab #3 my final boarding place for this journey, I write this now while my mom gets ready, and having a conversation with her about the train and my plans for the week I needed to kill some time, I will be taking my last tab of the journey around 8am, begin my walk to the train station and board my train and head out to the valley by 8:40, listen to some great music and watch the world go by...
I cant wait to see where this goes... I feel better now than i have in years, I put a couple tabs aside one for this weekend, and another one for next weekend, then I will be taking a break for a bit to let my mind recompile itself, unless of course I manage to pull my life together before I run out... in which case only time will tell....
This is all for now... I must shower and prepare for the day ahead... I will report on how my last tab wen when i have come to and sobered up, till them... PLUR
Entry 2
Tab 3 - The Train
threw the third tab in my mouth roughly 7:30am, hopped in the shower and began my day, now psyched on the day ahead lyes a journey I had no idea I was getting myself into...
The walk -
Its roughly 8am and I have to begin my mile and a half walk to the train station feeling more of a comedown from the previous tab I venture out into the day with a backpack full of lantern fuel and a bag full of clothes for the weekend... all feels normal as my walk begins... slowly i start to notice reality slow down and the music bumps up, Deadmau5 for the next 3 hours full blast in my ears non stop, like a personal sound system bumpin in my ears the bass peaks the perfect note and i notice as I almost stumble, but more like take a step into this new world with no boundaries... everything flows now, the music is messaging my brain and my vision shakes with every beat, i close my eyes as i walk and imagine the trail ahead, the visions in my mind flow with the reality i have now created, I cant wait for what lyes ahead...
The Train station -
I go into the little cafe because i need to break a $20, so I buy a fruit cup, and some gummie savers, I've really been craving fruit lately, as i sit waiting for the train to arrive I savor every piece of freshly cut fruit, shortly as i reach the bottom of the cup the train arrives, the moment I have been waiting for...
The Train -
I find a place to sit, some where tucked alone so as not to create too much commotion, im in my own world right now and do not need to be disturbed... as I look around at the people surrounding me I notice so many happy faces, people coming together for a moment and respecting each other completely for the small moment they travel through space in this capsule... I notice a pretty face a few rows up and notice shes not smiling... I catch a glimpse of a quick smile, this made my day, it looked absolutely beautiful, at that moment the whole world was happy, or at least in her world, that smile screamed it out loud, but it was gone and over all too soon, I gaze out the window and watch the world pass by, as everything moves along to the beats messaging the deepest insides of my brain...
I arrive at union and switch trains, this second train is empty, aside from one girl sitting on the far end of the train, I can only catch a glimpse of her sleeve if I slightly leaned to the left, I lean my head back and melt into my surroundings, the music which is stimulating my brain in areas I never knew possible, my mind was beginning to get gently fucked, reality becomes surreal and I prepare for the day that lies ahead as my train nears its destination
The Hellos -
I arrive at my friends school where I great some fellow raver friends of mine, my weekend has officially begun, this overwhelming power of joy surrounds me this is what I live for at this moment, the reason I make it through my weeks, my platform, my home, this is where i feel I am me...
the Mind Fuck -
We head down to my friends older brothers apartment, very nice by the way, and we smoke a couple bowls, thinking things would stay as they are, boy was I in for a whole new world of visuals, sound, outer body experience, you name it, i flew through a portal to a new dimension... i could no longer make sence of anything going on in reality, I had completely entered a new dimension, colors started bleeding out of the walls, the floors, my arms, anything my eyes could catch glimpse of, creating its own rhythm the patters shifted and moved and everything began to move as I look outside and see the clouds take shape and then start dancing with each other, fractals raining out of the sky... what is this feeling where have I taken myself? I realize now that #3 is peaking, and much much stronger than the previous 2 of the night, not too sure how i managed to remain cool, no one at this point even pondering if I am frying, my mindfuck is under complete control, in and out of this tunnel through dimensions I never knew possible, remembering my shroom high where I lost all reality, this had by far surpassed those lines and continued skipping down the road to the unknown...
Reality? -
slowly I begin to feel the heat overwhelm me and reality slowly begins to sink back into the back of my mind, we get some food, and venture into the dollar store where i find this small backpack which would be a perfect replacement for the bag ive currently been taking to parties... we get back to my friends house (my home away from home) and we eat, reality takes another bite and i begin to relax.. however it is still hot, so nothing a quick shower cant fix... the water hitting my face rinsing off the grime and the sweat from the heat brings me new birth to what I can only at this moment manage to call a reality, although still much further away from this world i grasp its concepts, and at this moment, ask myself, to I call it a day and go to sleep now, of do I overcome the boundaries , relax take it easy find a party for the night and prep for tab 4?
right now, only time will tell, I must now get some rest ass my fry has reached hour 24 and in no way have i come down, yet at least ive began to notice im coming back...
Entry 3
the adventure continues!
the nap-
after I posted, i let my mind wind down and i prepared for rest, i wanted to go out still so i couldn't exactly sleep, i lay on the floor listening to music, i begin to melt into the floor and leave my body, i took a step into the dream world, however i was still awake, listening to the music, time went by like nothing, before i knew it 2 hours had past, my friend washed his car and cut hit hair, showered, etc... when this was done i felt refreshed, slightly on the comedown, but still feeling the remains of my fry I notice how many people I know and look forward to seeing every chance i get are going, a few worlds slipped to my friend hinting at going and the decision was made, were going, my adventure is not yet over...
TAB 4-
we get our shit packed and head out to meet a couple friends, and i place tab #4 on my tongue... we arrive to pick up our friend, unfortunately they didn't have their IDs and couldn't come along, and so we head out... at this point my tracers are beginning to come back and the melody of life begins to flow a bit stronger, i know at this point as soon as i get in that door and the music hits we I'll be gone... boy was I right...!
the party -
as soon as I get in i begin to see familiar comforting faces, on the way out of the car I run into Lokimon, say hello, and continue on inside, spoof was at the door giving out the 21+ wristbands upon entry i head to the back and am spotted by Lawless!, boy was this a good surprise, friends i wasn't expecting to see even being there. i weave around to see who I know and here goes my shout outs: Fizzy, Masq, Apollo, Jordan, Intel, Psilo, Boss, sorry if I missed anyone. this was exactly what i needed to finish my journey, good music, good faces, good vibes. i step into the music, and let it take over, like on the train only this time i can feel it so much better, throughout my whole body, i once again loose track of time and can no longer tell if my eyes are open or closed, my mind is only seeing what it wants, i leave my body once again and travel to the fifth dimension, I relive my journey over and over, discussing with myself how I felt and the experience I learned, what was my over all quest, has it been accomplished? is this everything I wanted it to be, exactly what I had hopped and foreseen, only better, because this time its really happening?
Yes.
Dance...
as i snap back to reality and instantly begin to dance every time, i know and love that I have accomplished everything I had hoped, and even more, Mission success!
my journey is complete... as my energy begins to run low due to the lack of sleep, the dancing, the 30+ hours of frying, and by the time I get to sleep it will have been just over 36 hours, I say my goodbyes, every one seeming to be so understanding, jordan sneaking in a couple pics before we head out, its still fairly early, but my night is done, i have accomplished all that I needed, we head back, grab something to drink smoke a bowl and go home, i sit here now as i wind down, no music playing the tv softly in the back but my mind is still bumping a good beat, I look forward to a good sleep and a great tomorrow where i can reflect on my journey and take in everything I learned from it...
what I accomplished -
the main thing I would like to point out about what lead my and inspired my journey, at moon drop I dropped my first tab, since then i have dropped (including this journey) 8 tabs, moon drop was just under 1 month ago, I felt I may end up with an addiction to a powerful substance if I didn't do something soon, I saw the opportunity and i pushed my boundaries, much further than I thought I could, I need to take this for all its worth do everything I could all at once, get it out, get over it. I now have complete respect for LSD, it broke me down, it brought me back up, i controlled it, leaving no one i didn't want knowing what i was doing questioning my sobriety or the hint that I may be under any substance, I controlled it, lost in my mind, complete sense of reality shattered as I dazed at the fractals the shards of this shattered reality is creating, and remained looking normal. I have a tab saved for one more day in the near future, and then I'm taking a break, sober rave on sunday (sober meaning pot is still allowed, just no hard substance.) I no longer feel the need for acid, ive seen what it can do and I respect it.
What I learned about myself -
always be happy, there's never a good enough reason to be sad. and on a deeper level, i lived my life before day by day always trying to figure out how im going to be the person I want to be and not truly concentrating on getting accomplished what i really need to be doing with my life. today i realized, I am exactly who I have always wanted to be, If there's a will, there's a way! a saying i have recently been realizing my whole life has evolved around, when i want something bad enough, I always find a way, weather i have to sacrifice something in order to get what i want, i will accept what I must and get where I need to be, I need to stop worrying about trying to be someone i created in my head, realize I already am that person, now just take care of life, the rest will come together as it should.
thank you again to everyone I saw tonight, you mean more to me then you all may know, I don't think i would have gotten all i needed from this experience if i didn't have people like you accepting my presence with open minds, open hearts and open arms, thank you again, you all made everything worth while....
I am going to sleep now, watch the visions i know i will see, as the effects still linger, looking forward to sobriety in the morning, let my brain rest, reflect, relax, gnight world thank you for letting me have this journey, I will never forget it!
