It was in June of 2010 that I dropped Lucy with my best friend. This was my 3rd time trying it. Each dose getting progressively stronger. Trip number 3, 4 hits of Lucy later I was floating in a world...another world. We put on some Pink Floyd about 30 minutes after dropping. I love love love Pink Floyd so it seemed only fitting. We thought The Wall would contribute to the journey quite nicely.
Not much can be remember from my come up other than the sinking feeling that I was about to embark on a journey of madness in another world. The Wall may have been a large culprit in this feeling. She (my best friend) was on one couch and I was on the other. Frequent bouts of giggling and snickers ensued during the first hour/hour and a half.
The second album of The Wall was reaching its climactic end. 'Comfortably Numb' began to play. My body began to sink into the couch. I was, at that point, letting Lucy take me by the hand. Just gave in to the insanity. Lose myself. "There is no pain you are receding. A distant ship's smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves. You're lips move, but I can't hear what you say...Now I've got that feeling once again. I can't explain, you would not understand. This is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb." I was gone. Left to another place. Before I knew it, I came to the realization that, in that moment, this was what life was about.
'The Trial' was now playing in my head. Wicked song sober; terrifyingly beautiful hand-in-hand with Lucy. "Good morning, Worm, your honor..." I was going mad. Descending deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. I was losing my mind. Myself. My being. Essence. "Crazy. Over the rainbow. I am crazy. Bars in the window. There must have been a door there in the wall when I came in. Crazy! Over the rainbow [she] is crazy!" I kept repeating over and over in my head...I am crazy. Going crazy. This is such beautiful madness. This is what it's all about! The meaning to everything! I was quickly spiraling downward.
The final song came on in the distance. I could faintly hear it 'Outside the Wall.' I was standing outside looking in. "All alone, or in twos the ones who really love you." My friends. This was all I could think. Being in this...moment?...with my friends. My friends. My friends. I was aware that I was grinning maniacally. I felt this immense feeling welling up inside of me. A build up. Before the release of my essence. It wasn't until the glorious explosion that is 'Speak to Me, Breath' from Dark Side of the Moon happened that I plummeted back to this world, to my mind, body, couch, this living room...that I felt peace with this new world I had ventured to. Everything was right. It was no easy journey, but I survived and with this journey learned everything and nothing!
"Long you live and high you fly. Smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry. All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be." This. This is life. What I live for. In this moment, this lyric became me. It embodied all that I was. I cried.
All of this happened in a span of very few hours. It felt like an eternity. The rest of my trip was equally maginficent, but that journey during the deepest part of my peak was needed to travel to the other side of my trip. It was a gateway of a sort. It was then that my best friend and I could travel together. And this we did...and shared much more than simple giggles and gibberish. We were on another plane together. We knew what the other was feeling and thinking. It was, to say the least, amazing. I would have never wanted that afternoon to be any other way.
Not much can be remember from my come up other than the sinking feeling that I was about to embark on a journey of madness in another world. The Wall may have been a large culprit in this feeling. She (my best friend) was on one couch and I was on the other. Frequent bouts of giggling and snickers ensued during the first hour/hour and a half.
The second album of The Wall was reaching its climactic end. 'Comfortably Numb' began to play. My body began to sink into the couch. I was, at that point, letting Lucy take me by the hand. Just gave in to the insanity. Lose myself. "There is no pain you are receding. A distant ship's smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves. You're lips move, but I can't hear what you say...Now I've got that feeling once again. I can't explain, you would not understand. This is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb." I was gone. Left to another place. Before I knew it, I came to the realization that, in that moment, this was what life was about.
'The Trial' was now playing in my head. Wicked song sober; terrifyingly beautiful hand-in-hand with Lucy. "Good morning, Worm, your honor..." I was going mad. Descending deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. I was losing my mind. Myself. My being. Essence. "Crazy. Over the rainbow. I am crazy. Bars in the window. There must have been a door there in the wall when I came in. Crazy! Over the rainbow [she] is crazy!" I kept repeating over and over in my head...I am crazy. Going crazy. This is such beautiful madness. This is what it's all about! The meaning to everything! I was quickly spiraling downward.
The final song came on in the distance. I could faintly hear it 'Outside the Wall.' I was standing outside looking in. "All alone, or in twos the ones who really love you." My friends. This was all I could think. Being in this...moment?...with my friends. My friends. My friends. I was aware that I was grinning maniacally. I felt this immense feeling welling up inside of me. A build up. Before the release of my essence. It wasn't until the glorious explosion that is 'Speak to Me, Breath' from Dark Side of the Moon happened that I plummeted back to this world, to my mind, body, couch, this living room...that I felt peace with this new world I had ventured to. Everything was right. It was no easy journey, but I survived and with this journey learned everything and nothing!
"Long you live and high you fly. Smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry. All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be." This. This is life. What I live for. In this moment, this lyric became me. It embodied all that I was. I cried.
All of this happened in a span of very few hours. It felt like an eternity. The rest of my trip was equally maginficent, but that journey during the deepest part of my peak was needed to travel to the other side of my trip. It was a gateway of a sort. It was then that my best friend and I could travel together. And this we did...and shared much more than simple giggles and gibberish. We were on another plane together. We knew what the other was feeling and thinking. It was, to say the least, amazing. I would have never wanted that afternoon to be any other way.
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