mountainrange
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2014
- Messages
- 47
Hey guys, so my first thread if you don't count the introduction.
On Sunday (yesterday for most people) I embarked on my second ever LSD trip. We had planned to go venturing into an area well known with walkers and mountaineers, the terrain isn't too tough but sure is a challenge. You need to be fit at the very minimum! So as your mind probably creates for you, hills upon hills rolling into the backdrop, sheep gracing the lands and beautiful scenery. Idyllic. And it was, in every way.
It's winter however, the winds were up and it rains continuously at different times of the day, some powerful showers and some drizzle, the weather report for the area depicted snow and boy, it snowed but fortunately not for that long. Before I continue, I want to say my thread is not a statement, I'm not writing a trip report or trying to state anything, it is a question or furthermore a request for advice. Seeing as you will read later on how my trip panned out, you may want to give me some advice or relate to me, and I look forward to that
We came prepared that day, three layers of reasonable clothing, I came equipped with a big thick insulated coat with a long top beneath that with another top beneath that and a vest underneath, gloves and three pairs of socks under a pair of trainers. The trainers, not such a good idea. Never go out into the wilderness or into trekking territory wearing a pair of ADIDAS Ortholite ZR Racer's! When I say prepared, we prepared to be reasonably warm and to walk around whilst we were tripping. It turned out, the conditions and the location were far superior than us and our measly attempts at braving the location and the weather, mental note: if going walking/trekking/rambling - take proper gear. My friend came a little more under-prepared, wearing casual clothes and some new Timberland trainer boot-type things. City slicker gear. We both live in a city after all, only difference is I moved from the country to live in a city whereas my friend has lived in a city all his life. Perhaps my inside knowledge gave me an edge?
So we get there and as soon as we got off the train we arranged to consume the tabs. The tabs were 180ug each, pretty strong doses from what I heard as I've seen most doses ranging from 100-150ug per and these were 180. We got off the train and that is exactly what we did, putting one underneath our tongues and another on top (360ug in total per person), apparently according to my friend; it gets absorbed quicker. Strangely enough, I started feeling the effects within about 20-30 minutes. The sort of high feeling you get from maybe drinking a beer or two, slight inebriation. So we decided to leave the cafe and venture off. After a while we find a walking pattern, circling the area which is equal to that of a hamlet village in a rural town (UK, for all those that understand country towns). We then ventured to the side of a hill and there.... it hit us. BOOM.
I looked at the hills and everything had a frosting, like a vein of frosting on a frozen leaf. And I can remember hearing helicopter like noises almost like it was coming from the great skies above. Fast forward a bit and we are walking through the town again (we repeatedly walked the area about 5 times covering 4 miles according to my tracking utility). It then hit me that I felt really dissociative and people scared me, not because I was fearful of people but because I felt ashamed, I felt like I was a burden. Perhaps you can call it image preservation, you don't want to be seen acting a fool especially in the middle of nowhere because people get suspicious and phone the police. That was my main fear, two young men walking around erratically. We could of looked like opportunist thieves. I can remember feeling very ill at that point because I felt so paralysed by our choice of destination, not that it wasn't beautiful or out of the way but because it was surrounded by people who could judge us, or see us as a threat. I can remember cars driving past and me feeling insane, like they would stop and ask me if I was okay or take me to a mental institution. My clothes didn't feel comfortable either, I was walking around in a big coat that made me look weird, it makes me look fat and chubby and weird when I'm sober, that was amplified by the acid. Also I was wearing clothes you would walk down the street in and not around a national trust area. So that also didn't help. I just felt like I had lost complete control and I felt like a burden. I kept saying to my friend 'I bet we look like d*ckheads' and then I had conflicting thoughts. My mind wanted me to believe that I shouldn't be near people on this much acid, not because I'm a danger to them or myself but because I'm the sort of guy that wants to relax and not feel he has to protect himself or his thoughts, like.. you wouldn't trip balls in front of your family on Christmas Day (or I wouldn't anyway) and so I had that desire to just be free with my friend but instead, we wound up limited to where we could walk and we kept encountering people and I just kept feeling really virginal and childish sometimes like a flimsy insecure boy. I'm half through my twenties by the way and in life, very emotionally and mentally stable, I like to lead and not follow.
Because I was brought up in the country and my friend wasn't, I had sudden feelings of guilt and separation so I instantly started having childhood flashbacks and I felt like my former self as a child with an old friend walking the countryside like I used to do. You'd think this wouldn't bother me and in a way it didn't but also as a child I was very repressed, my mother especially didn't let me have much freedom and in fact I was very much a scared child, scared of getting beaten and things thrown at me. I wasn't abused so much as a child more, my mother had issues she could deal with half of the time and then the other times she just lost it. The country was new to him but something I used to enjoy everyday. The sheep, the smell of cow sh*t, the fields and the smell of the grass and all the cobbled walls, the vistas. I kept trying to explain to him that it felt so good to be able to get back to this, but also I started relating to my childhood because of that. My childhood was great but my connection with my parents; not so great now. I have issues with them, a very possessive controlling and violent mother with a very soft hearted father. And that started to show, I felt like a child again but not always in a good way. I wanted to feel proud of where I was and what I was doing, instead I just felt really weird and at times, completely insane. Like I'd really, almost, lost it. So my main highlights of the trip were that of; childishness, powerlessness, dependability, weakness. The sort of feelings you can relate to as a child growing up, obviously as all children are dependent and very much fragile until they grow into adults. That was me that very day.
It didn't help that we had a time limit and my mind was rushing to do all these things before we tripped. Where to go, what to do. And the sun sets really early so we only had a good 8 hours to do everything. We didn't end up doing much apart from staring at hillsides and looking in awe which I really enjoyed but I also felt fearful, fearful of my surroundings and fearful of others. Almost like my biggest insecurity right then was ACTUALLY BEING THERE RIGHT THEN. The trip became a desperate bid to regain control and slowly but surely I did and I guided my friend back to town before it went dark at which it did at amazing pace. Luckily for us, if we dropped earlier we'd of been out there in the freezing cold all night trying to find our way back.
So my question, does this sound typical of a bad trip? I enjoyed the trip now thinking about it, my friend I have only known for a few months and maybe that was a key part because I didn't feel like I trust or rely on him. Now it's different, we connected and we really helped each other. In fact, we both felt like kids at times, like we were on one big school trip walking the countryside. It was fantastic but also eye-opening, I wouldn't like to experience that kind of trip again so how would I go about making sure it doesn't happen? Choose a more closed in atmosphere? Stay away from civilization? Choose a better buddy to trip with? Choose a better location? I'm feeling now, I woke up feeling a little dissociative but now I'm feeling fine, I'm back to my bouncy jesting self. No permanant damage but is this how bad trips fuck people up permanantly? If so, mannnn.. I don't want to happen for sure. Perhaps I took too much too quickly? We took both tabs immedietly at the same time? Perhaps take one to take another afterwards? One tab was enough before for me, it took longer to kick in because I swallowed it straight away but I had a more uplifting pleasant trip where I discussed everything and anything and felt happy, this trip I was on edge, happy one minute and then completely out of it. I thought at times I'd never come out of it.
Any help with this? Thanks guys.
On Sunday (yesterday for most people) I embarked on my second ever LSD trip. We had planned to go venturing into an area well known with walkers and mountaineers, the terrain isn't too tough but sure is a challenge. You need to be fit at the very minimum! So as your mind probably creates for you, hills upon hills rolling into the backdrop, sheep gracing the lands and beautiful scenery. Idyllic. And it was, in every way.
It's winter however, the winds were up and it rains continuously at different times of the day, some powerful showers and some drizzle, the weather report for the area depicted snow and boy, it snowed but fortunately not for that long. Before I continue, I want to say my thread is not a statement, I'm not writing a trip report or trying to state anything, it is a question or furthermore a request for advice. Seeing as you will read later on how my trip panned out, you may want to give me some advice or relate to me, and I look forward to that
We came prepared that day, three layers of reasonable clothing, I came equipped with a big thick insulated coat with a long top beneath that with another top beneath that and a vest underneath, gloves and three pairs of socks under a pair of trainers. The trainers, not such a good idea. Never go out into the wilderness or into trekking territory wearing a pair of ADIDAS Ortholite ZR Racer's! When I say prepared, we prepared to be reasonably warm and to walk around whilst we were tripping. It turned out, the conditions and the location were far superior than us and our measly attempts at braving the location and the weather, mental note: if going walking/trekking/rambling - take proper gear. My friend came a little more under-prepared, wearing casual clothes and some new Timberland trainer boot-type things. City slicker gear. We both live in a city after all, only difference is I moved from the country to live in a city whereas my friend has lived in a city all his life. Perhaps my inside knowledge gave me an edge?
So we get there and as soon as we got off the train we arranged to consume the tabs. The tabs were 180ug each, pretty strong doses from what I heard as I've seen most doses ranging from 100-150ug per and these were 180. We got off the train and that is exactly what we did, putting one underneath our tongues and another on top (360ug in total per person), apparently according to my friend; it gets absorbed quicker. Strangely enough, I started feeling the effects within about 20-30 minutes. The sort of high feeling you get from maybe drinking a beer or two, slight inebriation. So we decided to leave the cafe and venture off. After a while we find a walking pattern, circling the area which is equal to that of a hamlet village in a rural town (UK, for all those that understand country towns). We then ventured to the side of a hill and there.... it hit us. BOOM.
I looked at the hills and everything had a frosting, like a vein of frosting on a frozen leaf. And I can remember hearing helicopter like noises almost like it was coming from the great skies above. Fast forward a bit and we are walking through the town again (we repeatedly walked the area about 5 times covering 4 miles according to my tracking utility). It then hit me that I felt really dissociative and people scared me, not because I was fearful of people but because I felt ashamed, I felt like I was a burden. Perhaps you can call it image preservation, you don't want to be seen acting a fool especially in the middle of nowhere because people get suspicious and phone the police. That was my main fear, two young men walking around erratically. We could of looked like opportunist thieves. I can remember feeling very ill at that point because I felt so paralysed by our choice of destination, not that it wasn't beautiful or out of the way but because it was surrounded by people who could judge us, or see us as a threat. I can remember cars driving past and me feeling insane, like they would stop and ask me if I was okay or take me to a mental institution. My clothes didn't feel comfortable either, I was walking around in a big coat that made me look weird, it makes me look fat and chubby and weird when I'm sober, that was amplified by the acid. Also I was wearing clothes you would walk down the street in and not around a national trust area. So that also didn't help. I just felt like I had lost complete control and I felt like a burden. I kept saying to my friend 'I bet we look like d*ckheads' and then I had conflicting thoughts. My mind wanted me to believe that I shouldn't be near people on this much acid, not because I'm a danger to them or myself but because I'm the sort of guy that wants to relax and not feel he has to protect himself or his thoughts, like.. you wouldn't trip balls in front of your family on Christmas Day (or I wouldn't anyway) and so I had that desire to just be free with my friend but instead, we wound up limited to where we could walk and we kept encountering people and I just kept feeling really virginal and childish sometimes like a flimsy insecure boy. I'm half through my twenties by the way and in life, very emotionally and mentally stable, I like to lead and not follow.
Because I was brought up in the country and my friend wasn't, I had sudden feelings of guilt and separation so I instantly started having childhood flashbacks and I felt like my former self as a child with an old friend walking the countryside like I used to do. You'd think this wouldn't bother me and in a way it didn't but also as a child I was very repressed, my mother especially didn't let me have much freedom and in fact I was very much a scared child, scared of getting beaten and things thrown at me. I wasn't abused so much as a child more, my mother had issues she could deal with half of the time and then the other times she just lost it. The country was new to him but something I used to enjoy everyday. The sheep, the smell of cow sh*t, the fields and the smell of the grass and all the cobbled walls, the vistas. I kept trying to explain to him that it felt so good to be able to get back to this, but also I started relating to my childhood because of that. My childhood was great but my connection with my parents; not so great now. I have issues with them, a very possessive controlling and violent mother with a very soft hearted father. And that started to show, I felt like a child again but not always in a good way. I wanted to feel proud of where I was and what I was doing, instead I just felt really weird and at times, completely insane. Like I'd really, almost, lost it. So my main highlights of the trip were that of; childishness, powerlessness, dependability, weakness. The sort of feelings you can relate to as a child growing up, obviously as all children are dependent and very much fragile until they grow into adults. That was me that very day.
It didn't help that we had a time limit and my mind was rushing to do all these things before we tripped. Where to go, what to do. And the sun sets really early so we only had a good 8 hours to do everything. We didn't end up doing much apart from staring at hillsides and looking in awe which I really enjoyed but I also felt fearful, fearful of my surroundings and fearful of others. Almost like my biggest insecurity right then was ACTUALLY BEING THERE RIGHT THEN. The trip became a desperate bid to regain control and slowly but surely I did and I guided my friend back to town before it went dark at which it did at amazing pace. Luckily for us, if we dropped earlier we'd of been out there in the freezing cold all night trying to find our way back.
So my question, does this sound typical of a bad trip? I enjoyed the trip now thinking about it, my friend I have only known for a few months and maybe that was a key part because I didn't feel like I trust or rely on him. Now it's different, we connected and we really helped each other. In fact, we both felt like kids at times, like we were on one big school trip walking the countryside. It was fantastic but also eye-opening, I wouldn't like to experience that kind of trip again so how would I go about making sure it doesn't happen? Choose a more closed in atmosphere? Stay away from civilization? Choose a better buddy to trip with? Choose a better location? I'm feeling now, I woke up feeling a little dissociative but now I'm feeling fine, I'm back to my bouncy jesting self. No permanant damage but is this how bad trips fuck people up permanantly? If so, mannnn.. I don't want to happen for sure. Perhaps I took too much too quickly? We took both tabs immedietly at the same time? Perhaps take one to take another afterwards? One tab was enough before for me, it took longer to kick in because I swallowed it straight away but I had a more uplifting pleasant trip where I discussed everything and anything and felt happy, this trip I was on edge, happy one minute and then completely out of it. I thought at times I'd never come out of it.
Any help with this? Thanks guys.
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