StrutterGear
Bluelight Crew
Friday, 12PM.
Me and my co tripper finally found some decent acid, and decided it was time to push our limits. At 12PM Friday afternoon we double-dropped our two tabs, and set off for Greenwich (London). This was the first time I had tripped outside of the house boundary, and I was incredibly excited. Me and my housemate walked around the sweeping green spaces, admiring the beauty of the architecture around Greenwich Park. The onset was quite quick; my first acid trip it took me hours to start going full visuals, but this only took around 40 minutes. I had fasted the day beforehand for maximum tripping potential, I really wanted to push my limits this time.
The giggles soon began to set in and our legs started to go wobbly. We went to grab a coffee and have a smoke before we entered the musuem, and chatted a while. The trip had begun, drinking the coffee was hard. The sugar in it seemed to trickle down my throat and made me gag. Cottonmouth sets in, my nose started running. My friend hands me a tissue to wipe my nose and we burst out laughing: "what am I your fucking mother?
". There are a lot of schoolkids and mum's with prams around giving us dodgy looks, so we decide to move into the musuem and browse the displays.
One of the paintings of two ships in a storm is almost alive, the waves seem to crash over the boats and ripple away to the side of the picture frame. It's a shame I don't get to see the side of London more, the exhibits were beautiful, especially the paintings. Really makes you think about the talent it takes to create them.... We spitball about how London has changed so much over the past centuries, wondering what it'd be like in the 1800's. We start getting a bit disorientated so decide to leave after around half an hour, and my friend says he's going to take me to see the best view of London, atop Observatory hill.
Around 2PM
I'm really starting to come along now, and the hallucinations are amazing. Colours are so rich, the air so clean, it almosts stings my lungs as I take a deep breath. We climb observatory hill, and look out over London... I'll never forget this part of my acid adventure for as long as I live, and even for all the nastiness that occured later, I thanked my friend profusely for showing me it. It was like a postcard picture; the sun shone behind us through the trees, gleaming off the dew-laden grass and across the horizon. You could of stretched a banner across the sky that said "welcome to London", it was photo perfect. No noise, just the beautiful side of the greatest city in the world. I just stood there, gob-smacked. This is why I wanted to do acid, to get a real understanding of the sure beauty of my surroundings.
We stood and joked about how "American" the scene was, like a welcome to California advert. We were about to leave when a group of three Spanish girls asked us to take a picture, and panic set in. I could not work a camera, I couldn't even begin to comprehend what they were asking of me. Such a simple task, and it seemed nigh on impossible! "Errr, I'm not very good at taking pictures, I'll drop it or something", but they insisted we take it. Kind of rude thinking about it, it was kind of like they thought we were photographer staff or something. Luckily my friend grew some balls and took the picture without dropping it, we didnt need to have to explain we were tripping our balls off. "That'll be a fiver" I joked, and my friend walked off in tears of laughter. We walked away briskly, laughing all the way back down the hill to the park....
My ego death
At around 4pm, we decided we should start heading home, because the visuals were becoming a bit much. Unfortunately, from Greenwich to where I live is basically one long road that takes around 40 minutes to walk. One long road through busy towns with narrow pavements and alot of traffic, and we live at the top of a hill, giving the illusion you're closer to home than you really are. My friend suggested we walk rather than bus or tube in case it got too much for us, and I agreed. We picked up a can of Coke each (with much difficulty I might add) but eventually managed to keep it together in a corner shop and set off for home.
About 10 minutes into the journey, I start becoming very disorientated, and kind of lose where I am. I'm still with my friend but my grip on reality is starting to get loose, I cross roads without any real appreciation for oncoming traffic, I'm playing a dangerous game. The busy town centre starts to bug us out; we should of stayed in the park longer. I need to sit down as the cold air penetrates my lungs, and from there everything turned to hell. We decided we should take a bus to get out of the area quickly, but my friend had no money left on his Oyster card. He had to walk all the way back to the shop, and left me at the bus stop (we definitely should of stayed together).
Half an hour seemed to pass.... Where is my friend? He left in such an odd fashion... I begin to panic... I have no idea how to get home from here and I'm tripping hard. Have I just lost the game? I've taken too much acid, and now my mind has crumbled. My friend was never there was he? He was just my subconcious companion to guide me through my trip, only to leave me to die. I wait and I wait and I wait.... And I wait some more. I'm truely fucked and I'm getting odd looks from people around the bus stop. In what seems like an hour later, he suddenly appears in my peripheral vision. I almost let a tear in relief, I'm not imagining it, I'm just on acid, I'm going to be fine... He asks if I'm okay because I looked worried. There was no use in bugging him out further too, so I lied - "I'm fine". He said he was only ten minutes, and much to my disbelief he was right.
We decided to carry on walking, and I put my headphones in to try and calm myself down - dubstep is my healer.... Wrong... It's just making this trip wilder, pedestrians faces bulge and eyes join together, everybody looked like a shemale; I just keep my head down and try to carry on. The panic from earlier still hasnt passed, and I really have no clue where I am, whenever I ask my friend how long till home he just says "10 minutes" every time. We fall into a communication loop, I cant seem to get any words out other than "yea" and "okay". I still think this guy is a hallucination, this isnt my friend, he's saying the same thing over and over and over. My heart feels like it's being stamped on and it thunders against my chest as I walk. I stutter "W..where.. is Sophie? (my missus' name), if this guy was real he'd know who she is! He replies "what?", and carries on muttering. What am I going to do? My girlfriend doesnt know I'm on acid, and if my family finds out I'm fucked.... "You're son was hospitalised due to walking in front of traffic whilst on LSD", just what I need. I have to trust my instincts, I'm on drugs, everything will be okay. If I have to carry on walking all day I will get home....
After what seemed an eternity of walking, we reach the top of the hill and I begin to recognise my area. Relief washes over me.... My heart begins to slow.... My lungs no longer seize.... As I enter through the front door of our house, I crack a smile... "I made it".
Back home (around 5-6pm)
A real awkwardness has set in, and everything seems grey... I want my girlfriend to be here, to make it all go away, but shes away for the weekend. Conversation with my housemate is so tough, he mutters to himself and makes incredibly odd comments, and I begin to get uncomfortable. We're best mates but I think this acid really brang out the weird in both of us. I felt he too had experienced ego death at some point today but I couldnt pinpoint where, maybe I was too fucked to notice. His normal bravado had gone, his happy-go-lucky self was replaced with an empty shell, he seemed almost like a helpless child. Even if I had decided the man before me was not a hallucination now, he certainly wasnt the best friend I knew this morning. He had experiemented with acid himself early in the week, and I think he had a weird experience. He muttered depressive and manic thoughts and I really began to get worried about him, he just seemed really... well, sad.
Around 8pm
I decide to go to the pub with him to keep an eye out for him, and conversation continues to be awkward all night. I knew none of his friends and I was still tripping, as was he. Its beginning to come in short waves now. I cant wait to go home to try and turn around this trip, the awkwardness of conversation is just making everything grey and ugly. The pub had deer heads on the walls and some of the most unfortunate looking people I have met in a long time, why do I see them all when I'm on acid?!
We eventually got home around 10 and chilled in my other housemates room, continuing awkward, disjointed conversation. I left around 4am to go to bed, knowing I couldnt go to sleep but still exhausted. I left my friend to his own thoughts, playing on my conscience. I should be with him making sure he's okay, but I just cant hold his hand anymore.... The nightmare ended around 7am, where I finally managed to empty my mind, and lay awake with my eyes closed in total darkness... and fell asleep....
All in all, I think I'm going to leave acid for a while, and the planning of my next trip will be much better... I feel fragile and upset today, I've had ego death on ketamine/nitrous + MDMA combos before but nothing like that. I know I have a friend for life with my housemate, my buddy, my tripping companion. My real and hallucinated guide, it says volumes for how much I trust him and enjoy his company. Hopefully next trip will be as pleasant all the way through.
Thank you for reading, if there are any questions feel free to comment below, feedback appreciated
Peace,
J
EDIT 25/12/2011 :: Probably a bit late but cleared up grammatical errors and the like.
Me and my co tripper finally found some decent acid, and decided it was time to push our limits. At 12PM Friday afternoon we double-dropped our two tabs, and set off for Greenwich (London). This was the first time I had tripped outside of the house boundary, and I was incredibly excited. Me and my housemate walked around the sweeping green spaces, admiring the beauty of the architecture around Greenwich Park. The onset was quite quick; my first acid trip it took me hours to start going full visuals, but this only took around 40 minutes. I had fasted the day beforehand for maximum tripping potential, I really wanted to push my limits this time.
The giggles soon began to set in and our legs started to go wobbly. We went to grab a coffee and have a smoke before we entered the musuem, and chatted a while. The trip had begun, drinking the coffee was hard. The sugar in it seemed to trickle down my throat and made me gag. Cottonmouth sets in, my nose started running. My friend hands me a tissue to wipe my nose and we burst out laughing: "what am I your fucking mother?
". There are a lot of schoolkids and mum's with prams around giving us dodgy looks, so we decide to move into the musuem and browse the displays.One of the paintings of two ships in a storm is almost alive, the waves seem to crash over the boats and ripple away to the side of the picture frame. It's a shame I don't get to see the side of London more, the exhibits were beautiful, especially the paintings. Really makes you think about the talent it takes to create them.... We spitball about how London has changed so much over the past centuries, wondering what it'd be like in the 1800's. We start getting a bit disorientated so decide to leave after around half an hour, and my friend says he's going to take me to see the best view of London, atop Observatory hill.
Around 2PM
I'm really starting to come along now, and the hallucinations are amazing. Colours are so rich, the air so clean, it almosts stings my lungs as I take a deep breath. We climb observatory hill, and look out over London... I'll never forget this part of my acid adventure for as long as I live, and even for all the nastiness that occured later, I thanked my friend profusely for showing me it. It was like a postcard picture; the sun shone behind us through the trees, gleaming off the dew-laden grass and across the horizon. You could of stretched a banner across the sky that said "welcome to London", it was photo perfect. No noise, just the beautiful side of the greatest city in the world. I just stood there, gob-smacked. This is why I wanted to do acid, to get a real understanding of the sure beauty of my surroundings.
We stood and joked about how "American" the scene was, like a welcome to California advert. We were about to leave when a group of three Spanish girls asked us to take a picture, and panic set in. I could not work a camera, I couldn't even begin to comprehend what they were asking of me. Such a simple task, and it seemed nigh on impossible! "Errr, I'm not very good at taking pictures, I'll drop it or something", but they insisted we take it. Kind of rude thinking about it, it was kind of like they thought we were photographer staff or something. Luckily my friend grew some balls and took the picture without dropping it, we didnt need to have to explain we were tripping our balls off. "That'll be a fiver" I joked, and my friend walked off in tears of laughter. We walked away briskly, laughing all the way back down the hill to the park....
My ego death
At around 4pm, we decided we should start heading home, because the visuals were becoming a bit much. Unfortunately, from Greenwich to where I live is basically one long road that takes around 40 minutes to walk. One long road through busy towns with narrow pavements and alot of traffic, and we live at the top of a hill, giving the illusion you're closer to home than you really are. My friend suggested we walk rather than bus or tube in case it got too much for us, and I agreed. We picked up a can of Coke each (with much difficulty I might add) but eventually managed to keep it together in a corner shop and set off for home.
About 10 minutes into the journey, I start becoming very disorientated, and kind of lose where I am. I'm still with my friend but my grip on reality is starting to get loose, I cross roads without any real appreciation for oncoming traffic, I'm playing a dangerous game. The busy town centre starts to bug us out; we should of stayed in the park longer. I need to sit down as the cold air penetrates my lungs, and from there everything turned to hell. We decided we should take a bus to get out of the area quickly, but my friend had no money left on his Oyster card. He had to walk all the way back to the shop, and left me at the bus stop (we definitely should of stayed together).
Half an hour seemed to pass.... Where is my friend? He left in such an odd fashion... I begin to panic... I have no idea how to get home from here and I'm tripping hard. Have I just lost the game? I've taken too much acid, and now my mind has crumbled. My friend was never there was he? He was just my subconcious companion to guide me through my trip, only to leave me to die. I wait and I wait and I wait.... And I wait some more. I'm truely fucked and I'm getting odd looks from people around the bus stop. In what seems like an hour later, he suddenly appears in my peripheral vision. I almost let a tear in relief, I'm not imagining it, I'm just on acid, I'm going to be fine... He asks if I'm okay because I looked worried. There was no use in bugging him out further too, so I lied - "I'm fine". He said he was only ten minutes, and much to my disbelief he was right.
We decided to carry on walking, and I put my headphones in to try and calm myself down - dubstep is my healer.... Wrong... It's just making this trip wilder, pedestrians faces bulge and eyes join together, everybody looked like a shemale; I just keep my head down and try to carry on. The panic from earlier still hasnt passed, and I really have no clue where I am, whenever I ask my friend how long till home he just says "10 minutes" every time. We fall into a communication loop, I cant seem to get any words out other than "yea" and "okay". I still think this guy is a hallucination, this isnt my friend, he's saying the same thing over and over and over. My heart feels like it's being stamped on and it thunders against my chest as I walk. I stutter "W..where.. is Sophie? (my missus' name), if this guy was real he'd know who she is! He replies "what?", and carries on muttering. What am I going to do? My girlfriend doesnt know I'm on acid, and if my family finds out I'm fucked.... "You're son was hospitalised due to walking in front of traffic whilst on LSD", just what I need. I have to trust my instincts, I'm on drugs, everything will be okay. If I have to carry on walking all day I will get home....
After what seemed an eternity of walking, we reach the top of the hill and I begin to recognise my area. Relief washes over me.... My heart begins to slow.... My lungs no longer seize.... As I enter through the front door of our house, I crack a smile... "I made it".
Back home (around 5-6pm)
A real awkwardness has set in, and everything seems grey... I want my girlfriend to be here, to make it all go away, but shes away for the weekend. Conversation with my housemate is so tough, he mutters to himself and makes incredibly odd comments, and I begin to get uncomfortable. We're best mates but I think this acid really brang out the weird in both of us. I felt he too had experienced ego death at some point today but I couldnt pinpoint where, maybe I was too fucked to notice. His normal bravado had gone, his happy-go-lucky self was replaced with an empty shell, he seemed almost like a helpless child. Even if I had decided the man before me was not a hallucination now, he certainly wasnt the best friend I knew this morning. He had experiemented with acid himself early in the week, and I think he had a weird experience. He muttered depressive and manic thoughts and I really began to get worried about him, he just seemed really... well, sad.
Around 8pm
I decide to go to the pub with him to keep an eye out for him, and conversation continues to be awkward all night. I knew none of his friends and I was still tripping, as was he. Its beginning to come in short waves now. I cant wait to go home to try and turn around this trip, the awkwardness of conversation is just making everything grey and ugly. The pub had deer heads on the walls and some of the most unfortunate looking people I have met in a long time, why do I see them all when I'm on acid?!
We eventually got home around 10 and chilled in my other housemates room, continuing awkward, disjointed conversation. I left around 4am to go to bed, knowing I couldnt go to sleep but still exhausted. I left my friend to his own thoughts, playing on my conscience. I should be with him making sure he's okay, but I just cant hold his hand anymore.... The nightmare ended around 7am, where I finally managed to empty my mind, and lay awake with my eyes closed in total darkness... and fell asleep....
All in all, I think I'm going to leave acid for a while, and the planning of my next trip will be much better... I feel fragile and upset today, I've had ego death on ketamine/nitrous + MDMA combos before but nothing like that. I know I have a friend for life with my housemate, my buddy, my tripping companion. My real and hallucinated guide, it says volumes for how much I trust him and enjoy his company. Hopefully next trip will be as pleasant all the way through.
Thank you for reading, if there are any questions feel free to comment below, feedback appreciated
Peace,
J
EDIT 25/12/2011 :: Probably a bit late but cleared up grammatical errors and the like.
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Chaos of the city can indeed become terrifying, and the loss of communication with trip buddy, ouch! 8(