Psyduck
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2008
- Messages
- 672
One hour after ingesting two hits of acid, the trip was coming up very intensely. I can only very vaguely remember what actually happened during the come-up. I was standing there, with a kiwifruit in my hand... the soft texture of the fruit sensing my hands, it was an incredible feeling, an overwhelming orgasmic feeling. I was looking at my hands and an extreme feeling of joy overcame me. I started crying for reasons beyond comprehension. These were not tears of sadness, these were tears of joy. I can't really explain, it made perfectly sense though.
Later on, I put some music on and started dancing. I got caught up in the rhythm... every move seemed to match the music. The room was in perfect harmony. After an hour or so, I decided to put on some music of Tool and get to the next level. I was experiencing the most extreme aesthetic experience now, this was just sublime. I feel the universe drifting towards a higher degree of perfection. The universe is creative and regenerating itself constantly to higher degrees of perfection. I was now "in" the flow of the universe.. I feel myself moving forward... the music keeps getting better, the universe is getting more perfect... I can't control the feelings any more and start screaming things like "fuck"... the universe is drifting towards more Perfection and Beauty... the universe is experiencing itself... this aesthetic experience is the universe experiencing its own perfection. The dynamic principle of this drift towards more perfections is The Divine... God is a dynamic principle that pulls the universe towards more perfection... God is not a transcendent being, but an immanent orientation of the universe towards Goodness, Beauty and Perfection. The universe does not consists of dead bits of matter moving in empty space without reason, but the universe is experiencing itself, always regenerating itself towards more perfection... we can experience the Beautiful and the Good: we can experience The Divine... I find myself in the flow of the universe, which is heading towards an Omega-point of highest perfection. I feel the universe drifting towards that point... we're moving towards an ultimate endpoint of perfection. In this end-point the universe experiences itself as a whole, and the universe and the Divine are united again.
Suddenly, I started to feel nauseous... this is too much to experience... I had to vomit... I vomited some food on the ground and also some blood. The vomit was lying there on the ground. For a moment I was very anxious because I thought I was in physical danger. But I got my mind together again and handled the situation very well. Nonetheless, it was very disturbing to see a floor full of vomit while tripping. I needed to get out, get some fresh air. I would clean up this shit later. When I passed by the pile of blood (separated from the vomit), I got caught up by the image. There was something mysterious about the blood. The thought that came in my mind now was "this is the blood of Jesus Christ". The image was irreducible, the blood was lying there, it was impossible to associate it with something else. I was actually no believer of Christianity, neither did I know a lot about Jesus. But this image... yes, this image was the blood of Christ lying there. I got strangely fascinated by the blood... I think at this moment I said "I believe in the Blood of Christ"... I still don't quite understand what it means to say "I believe" though. I could not not-believe, it was like being hit by a lightening. I can't justify it by reason.
I decided to sit down now. I took a chair and sat down next down the pile of blood. I think I stared at the blood for like 30 minutes. I tried to come up with an explanation now. The universe must consists out of "events" and every event is experiencing itself and creatively interacting with other events. The event of Jesus in the history of the universe was unique. It was a Singular event. Every human being, animal, plant, etc. (these are all events experiencing themselves) can experience the Good and the Beautiful at any time... but in the history of the universe the event of Jesus' existence was of such an intense nature in the creative development of the universe, that this event was able to experience the whole of the Divine, and not just a partial experience of the Good and the Beautiful. There was in the creative development of the universe one peak-experience where some event (i.e. Jesus) experienced the Divine. The Blood of Christ was a salvation of the Divine. My theory therefore is, that when an event in the universe over-experiences itself, i.e. when it reaches such a high level of perfection, one gets salvation by the Divine. This must have happened to me too, I was over-experiencing the universe during the trip. The crucifixion of Jesus Christ was the salvation that occurred when an event in the universe reached such a high level of the Good and Beautiful. The death of Jesus Christ was a singular event and the Blood of Christ during his crucifixion was a sign of salvation. This explanation might be far-fetched, you don't have to believe me, but this was what the pile of blood was saying to me. The image was irreducible.
Also, now when I think about it, another time when I was tripping, about a year ago, I was going to the bathroom, and walked into a piece of glass. My feet were bleeding then. I remember my foot being full of blood then. That moment too, I was strangely fascinated by the blood. I didn't quite understand it then. But the same thing must have happened. I was experiencing the universe so intensely that the Divine gave me a hint. Hence, to conclude “the Blood of Christ” meant for me that one can strive in life towards such a high degree of perfection until one gets salvation. I believe that every human being can strive in life towards a higher degree of perfection, and that one can get salvation in life. I also believe that the universe is striving towards higher degrees of perfection, and that in the end the universe experiencing itself is the divine experiencing itself completely.
The last part of my trip was not so interesting, I went outside and walked for about 2 hours. When I returned back to my apartment, I had to clean up the vomit of the floor. This was a really nasty job. Afterwards, I decided to take it easy, my mind was not ready to write something or to process language. I watched some movies and started drinking some beers until I fell asleep.
Later on, I put some music on and started dancing. I got caught up in the rhythm... every move seemed to match the music. The room was in perfect harmony. After an hour or so, I decided to put on some music of Tool and get to the next level. I was experiencing the most extreme aesthetic experience now, this was just sublime. I feel the universe drifting towards a higher degree of perfection. The universe is creative and regenerating itself constantly to higher degrees of perfection. I was now "in" the flow of the universe.. I feel myself moving forward... the music keeps getting better, the universe is getting more perfect... I can't control the feelings any more and start screaming things like "fuck"... the universe is drifting towards more Perfection and Beauty... the universe is experiencing itself... this aesthetic experience is the universe experiencing its own perfection. The dynamic principle of this drift towards more perfections is The Divine... God is a dynamic principle that pulls the universe towards more perfection... God is not a transcendent being, but an immanent orientation of the universe towards Goodness, Beauty and Perfection. The universe does not consists of dead bits of matter moving in empty space without reason, but the universe is experiencing itself, always regenerating itself towards more perfection... we can experience the Beautiful and the Good: we can experience The Divine... I find myself in the flow of the universe, which is heading towards an Omega-point of highest perfection. I feel the universe drifting towards that point... we're moving towards an ultimate endpoint of perfection. In this end-point the universe experiences itself as a whole, and the universe and the Divine are united again.
Suddenly, I started to feel nauseous... this is too much to experience... I had to vomit... I vomited some food on the ground and also some blood. The vomit was lying there on the ground. For a moment I was very anxious because I thought I was in physical danger. But I got my mind together again and handled the situation very well. Nonetheless, it was very disturbing to see a floor full of vomit while tripping. I needed to get out, get some fresh air. I would clean up this shit later. When I passed by the pile of blood (separated from the vomit), I got caught up by the image. There was something mysterious about the blood. The thought that came in my mind now was "this is the blood of Jesus Christ". The image was irreducible, the blood was lying there, it was impossible to associate it with something else. I was actually no believer of Christianity, neither did I know a lot about Jesus. But this image... yes, this image was the blood of Christ lying there. I got strangely fascinated by the blood... I think at this moment I said "I believe in the Blood of Christ"... I still don't quite understand what it means to say "I believe" though. I could not not-believe, it was like being hit by a lightening. I can't justify it by reason.
I decided to sit down now. I took a chair and sat down next down the pile of blood. I think I stared at the blood for like 30 minutes. I tried to come up with an explanation now. The universe must consists out of "events" and every event is experiencing itself and creatively interacting with other events. The event of Jesus in the history of the universe was unique. It was a Singular event. Every human being, animal, plant, etc. (these are all events experiencing themselves) can experience the Good and the Beautiful at any time... but in the history of the universe the event of Jesus' existence was of such an intense nature in the creative development of the universe, that this event was able to experience the whole of the Divine, and not just a partial experience of the Good and the Beautiful. There was in the creative development of the universe one peak-experience where some event (i.e. Jesus) experienced the Divine. The Blood of Christ was a salvation of the Divine. My theory therefore is, that when an event in the universe over-experiences itself, i.e. when it reaches such a high level of perfection, one gets salvation by the Divine. This must have happened to me too, I was over-experiencing the universe during the trip. The crucifixion of Jesus Christ was the salvation that occurred when an event in the universe reached such a high level of the Good and Beautiful. The death of Jesus Christ was a singular event and the Blood of Christ during his crucifixion was a sign of salvation. This explanation might be far-fetched, you don't have to believe me, but this was what the pile of blood was saying to me. The image was irreducible.
Also, now when I think about it, another time when I was tripping, about a year ago, I was going to the bathroom, and walked into a piece of glass. My feet were bleeding then. I remember my foot being full of blood then. That moment too, I was strangely fascinated by the blood. I didn't quite understand it then. But the same thing must have happened. I was experiencing the universe so intensely that the Divine gave me a hint. Hence, to conclude “the Blood of Christ” meant for me that one can strive in life towards such a high degree of perfection until one gets salvation. I believe that every human being can strive in life towards a higher degree of perfection, and that one can get salvation in life. I also believe that the universe is striving towards higher degrees of perfection, and that in the end the universe experiencing itself is the divine experiencing itself completely.
The last part of my trip was not so interesting, I went outside and walked for about 2 hours. When I returned back to my apartment, I had to clean up the vomit of the floor. This was a really nasty job. Afterwards, I decided to take it easy, my mind was not ready to write something or to process language. I watched some movies and started drinking some beers until I fell asleep.
. Been over 10 years since I have had 2 hits of acid that put me to that level. I don't even think the stuff being sold around here is even acid anymore, if most of the world...