aivlys
Greenlighter
This is my first ever trip report, although I have used drugs quite a lot for the last two years. I feel the need to describe & share this experience with you Bluelighters though, to see if some of you might have had similar experiences, or that is was just my head playing very funny tricks on me this time.
A little background info:
It was the third time I was going to take LSD, and I had been looking forward to it / mentally preparing for it all week, since my last trip of this summer had had a lot of (positive) impact on my life. I was going to a trance party with friends, among which my best friend P. P has been suffering from schizophrenia because of two bad LSD trips in the past (now it is well under control), but did not mind that I was going to use it. The others were using MDMA or alcohol, but have also tripped before. This was my first time tripping ‘alone’ (many people were tripping at the party). I really felt like it was something I needed to do at this point in my life, and at that night.
23.00
We arrived at the party, which was in a squat surrounded by water, very beautiful. The party had not really started, so we just walked around and chilled. My friend P had started drinking quite a lot (after taking 3 pills) and began talking to almost everybody in sight. I was a bit tired and anxious also, wanting to trip but hoping the party would be nice.
01.30
I took the LSD, which was a Hoffmann blotter (supposedly 200 microgram). I went to the chill-out and started talking to some people I knew from earlier parties. I ended up having a very nice conversation with a guy, and slowly felt the LSD starting to kick in. It was very nice; I was dancing, feeling happy, seeing beautiful colors and patterns and felt more understanding of everything etc.
03.00
From this point onwards everything started to get kind of blurry: I totally lost the sense of time, so that I felt it had already become morning like three times when it was only half past 3 at night, feeling like I had tripped for ages. Sometimes this could be pretty scary, but I knew it would all end at some point and just went with it.
What was very scary though, was P’s night. He was very drunk, but in a bad way, like I’ve never seen him before (and I’ve seen him in many states already). He kept asking me things and wanted to do some dance with him, which I really could not get at that moment, and I started to feel like I needed to have more control of myself to help him but could not. Later on he started to get angry with people over nothing, or very sad at once, and the night got really out of hand.
05.00
P had got worse and worse, he had kicked some things very violently, almost started to beat a dog that had bitten ours, wanted to jump in the water to kill himself, vomited heavily, started crying… It was terrible, and I started to feel like this happened because I had taken the LSD and he was having some sort of bad trip through it. I did not think of my trip as bad though, just very confusing with all this stuff happening. I stayed to help P as much as I could, together with some other people, tried to calm him down etc., but it was very strange to understand what was going on, what was real and what was part of the trip. For example, when we finally managed to bring P to the car to go sleep, we had to drag him along and he was saying in a very dramatic way that something was taking his energy away, looking me straight in the eyes.
I felt like I influenced everything that was happening, or it happened to show me what I had done, that our souls were so connected that if I was so up on acid, he had to be very down. This was very clear to me because when I was very happy dancing or talking to people and went to see where P was, every time he was worse until I stayed with him and it passed again. When he was alright again I lost track of him, felt alright with some other people, went to check on P and something more scary happened, like him almost jumping into the water to kill himself or vomiting so much that I saw blood coming out (which was a hallucination).
06.00
P finally fell asleep in the car after vomiting again. I stayed there because I was so scared he might otherwise die in his sleep. Other friends came to check sometimes also. Everything turned out fine, P slept very well for over 8 hours, woke up completely refreshed and without memory of the night before, and I was half sleeping and tripping and happy inside my own head after all the confusion of that night.
This continued until 2 or 3 in the afternoon, when I was still with a very nice afterglow, interpreting many things I saw that day in a different light, like they were all very meaningful to me and had messages.
The whole thing was scary but I also got the feeling many times that I had the power to change all that I wanted to change in my life & the world, depending on how I decided to think & feel about it. Like I was able to help P through this night and not flip out myself, but somehow I also felt sort of guilty for tripping, as if it was my LSD that caused it all. I felt however like this trip was inevitable, something my soul somehow needed as an experience to continue in life. I also felt that I could never do acid again or things might really go wrong, like the trip was a big warning or something. LSD is really very tricky!!
A little background info:
It was the third time I was going to take LSD, and I had been looking forward to it / mentally preparing for it all week, since my last trip of this summer had had a lot of (positive) impact on my life. I was going to a trance party with friends, among which my best friend P. P has been suffering from schizophrenia because of two bad LSD trips in the past (now it is well under control), but did not mind that I was going to use it. The others were using MDMA or alcohol, but have also tripped before. This was my first time tripping ‘alone’ (many people were tripping at the party). I really felt like it was something I needed to do at this point in my life, and at that night.
23.00
We arrived at the party, which was in a squat surrounded by water, very beautiful. The party had not really started, so we just walked around and chilled. My friend P had started drinking quite a lot (after taking 3 pills) and began talking to almost everybody in sight. I was a bit tired and anxious also, wanting to trip but hoping the party would be nice.
01.30
I took the LSD, which was a Hoffmann blotter (supposedly 200 microgram). I went to the chill-out and started talking to some people I knew from earlier parties. I ended up having a very nice conversation with a guy, and slowly felt the LSD starting to kick in. It was very nice; I was dancing, feeling happy, seeing beautiful colors and patterns and felt more understanding of everything etc.
03.00
From this point onwards everything started to get kind of blurry: I totally lost the sense of time, so that I felt it had already become morning like three times when it was only half past 3 at night, feeling like I had tripped for ages. Sometimes this could be pretty scary, but I knew it would all end at some point and just went with it.
What was very scary though, was P’s night. He was very drunk, but in a bad way, like I’ve never seen him before (and I’ve seen him in many states already). He kept asking me things and wanted to do some dance with him, which I really could not get at that moment, and I started to feel like I needed to have more control of myself to help him but could not. Later on he started to get angry with people over nothing, or very sad at once, and the night got really out of hand.
05.00
P had got worse and worse, he had kicked some things very violently, almost started to beat a dog that had bitten ours, wanted to jump in the water to kill himself, vomited heavily, started crying… It was terrible, and I started to feel like this happened because I had taken the LSD and he was having some sort of bad trip through it. I did not think of my trip as bad though, just very confusing with all this stuff happening. I stayed to help P as much as I could, together with some other people, tried to calm him down etc., but it was very strange to understand what was going on, what was real and what was part of the trip. For example, when we finally managed to bring P to the car to go sleep, we had to drag him along and he was saying in a very dramatic way that something was taking his energy away, looking me straight in the eyes.
I felt like I influenced everything that was happening, or it happened to show me what I had done, that our souls were so connected that if I was so up on acid, he had to be very down. This was very clear to me because when I was very happy dancing or talking to people and went to see where P was, every time he was worse until I stayed with him and it passed again. When he was alright again I lost track of him, felt alright with some other people, went to check on P and something more scary happened, like him almost jumping into the water to kill himself or vomiting so much that I saw blood coming out (which was a hallucination).
06.00
P finally fell asleep in the car after vomiting again. I stayed there because I was so scared he might otherwise die in his sleep. Other friends came to check sometimes also. Everything turned out fine, P slept very well for over 8 hours, woke up completely refreshed and without memory of the night before, and I was half sleeping and tripping and happy inside my own head after all the confusion of that night.
This continued until 2 or 3 in the afternoon, when I was still with a very nice afterglow, interpreting many things I saw that day in a different light, like they were all very meaningful to me and had messages.
The whole thing was scary but I also got the feeling many times that I had the power to change all that I wanted to change in my life & the world, depending on how I decided to think & feel about it. Like I was able to help P through this night and not flip out myself, but somehow I also felt sort of guilty for tripping, as if it was my LSD that caused it all. I felt however like this trip was inevitable, something my soul somehow needed as an experience to continue in life. I also felt that I could never do acid again or things might really go wrong, like the trip was a big warning or something. LSD is really very tricky!!
