Ancient Mariness
Bluelighter
I had tripped on mushrooms twice before and LSA (an extract I made from morning glory seeds) once before. I found the LSA trip to be very spiritual, and my mushrooms trips exciting and colorful. I decided to combine the two.
Saturday morning, I ground up 10 Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds in a coffee grinder and loaded the powder into empty capsules. I ended up with six pills. Though I was wearing rubber gloves, interacting with the seeds made me nauseous, and I had to lie down for awhile. I woke up a few hours later, and went shopping and to a Mongolian barbeque with my boyfriend. He bought me Animatrix and told me to watch it when I was tripping. I was in an excellent mood.
At eight pm, I took the LSA pills. I drank currant juice because it contains an MAO inhibitor. I popped in Animatrix and loved it. I planned to wait until I felt the effects of the LSA before I took the mushrooms. By 9:30, however, I still didn’t feel anything other than slightly stoned because I had smoked a bowl. I decided it was mushroom time. I ate three grams. It was the end of my bag, so many of them were tiny aborts.
My apartment was dark. I always have Christmas lights around my windowsill and several blacklights. Then I lit some candles, too. Usually I cannot stand the dark, so I was refreshed to have a different atmosphere going on. I stopped looking at the clock, so I have no more times to report.
It was probably twenty minutes after eating the mushrooms that I walked into my kitchen for something. Again, it was dark except for a red lightbulb. It was silent except for the flood creaking. I had an odd sensation that I was in my late grandmother’s kitchen, though they look nothing alike. I realized I was beginning to trip when I couldn’t take my eyes off a painting of a sailing ship on orange felt (a great thrift store find). It was popping out at me in the eerie red light. The pattered grating of my cabinets was compelling, almost to the point of being unbearable.
I returned to my living room and sat on my sofa. I thought about stuff and felt a little lost. I was at a point of half-tripping, half-wondering what the heck I was doing. The darkness scared me a little because I love color, but the swirls I was seeing on my tapestries were black without my overhead lamp on. (I know it sounds like I’m afraid of the dark, but I’m really not! I just have always preferred to have a lot of lights on.)
At some point, I put on sitar music and moved into my egg chair. I closed my eyes, and the music was now in my head. The colors were phenomenal. I laid back, eyes still closed, and began probing outward with my hands. When I ran my fingers along one of my wall tapestries, I heard every thread sing in my brain. I was completely disoriented, didn’t know where my body began or end. What was that strange thing I was feeling? Ah, it must be my computer speaker. I caressed it and felt thankful for technology. I had just watched Animatrix, after all. I stayed like this for a long time – sprawled in my egg chair, eyes closed, colors whirling, sounds in my brain, fingers amazed by whatever they stumbled across. It was the most purely psychedelic moment of my life.
There is no way I can explain this, but it happened the first time I was on LSA too. I begin to see the ways in which beauty and math are intertwined. I think about how complicated life is, and my brain sees fractals. I think about how complex a relationship is, then relate it to another, then another, and then another in an exponential way. I begin to feel math.
Around the same time, I began to lose the distinction between reality and fiction. I thought about my favorite characters, though Sherlock Holmes is the only one I can remember right now. I think to myself that fiction is real because it has meaning. I have always believed in Santa Claus. Though not a flesh and blood person, he’s a real entity in our minds and hearts at least. Basically, everything in the world seemed real and related in a special way. I even thought about several people that I don’t care for and made mental note that they were so special, too. Simply put, I was in a place of magic.
When the CD ended, I curled up in my egg chair like a baby. Tears flowed out of my eyes. I’m not sure why, but probably because I was overwhelmed by the complexity my brain had just dreamed up. I didn’t feel bad, but confused and childlike. I wanted someone to hold me. And that is what happened.
I don’t know what I think about God in general, but at that moment, God held me. I was wrapped up in my egg chair, but it felt like God’s hand. I was vaguely aware that my idea of God doesn’t fit with anyone else’s, so the name is rather a misnomer. But yet something powerful (probably a conglomeration of all out our energies) was cradling me and soothing me. I cried and felt so at peace. I have scarcely felt so safe and secure in my life. I talked to God a little, but did not expect an answer. I just wanted to be a child in strong arms. I felt blessed.
After what seemed like a long time, I began stretching my limbs out. “I want to live!” I said. I felt new energy and faith and goodwill and strength within me. I had been in the cradle of God, been completely revamped, and was now ready to go out into the world again. It was actually déjà vu, because I had felt that exact same way during my first mushroom trip too – that I was being allowed to take a break from reality in order to rev up my engine, and then I could go back and continue contributing to society, helping others, emanating loving-kindness, etc. A trip is my recharge.
I went into my bedroom and could not believe the clock – it was only midnight! I thought I had been gone for hours. I got out my journal and began to write, though it was silly because all my letters wobbled all over the place since I was still very much under the influence. My boyfriend called to check on me, and I was aware that I sounded very dumb and empty on the phone. I just didn’t have any words for what had happened. I wrote about four pages and slowly my perceptions began to fall back into place, though my letters wouldn’t stop jiggling, disappearing and reappearing too. At about one, I felt it was bedtime.
WRONG! This is the only thing I hate about mushrooms: they destroy my ability to breathe naturally. The second I laid down, my breathing abruptly stopped. “Oh great, this again…” It’s like my parasympathetic nervous system just forgets that part of its job is to breathe for me. So I have to concentrate on taking manual, shallow breaths. I kept waiting and waiting for my body to take over, but it simply didn’t. I was afraid to go to sleep and suffocate (plus how could I fall asleep anyway feeling as though I might die?), so I got up and began reading though I was dead tired. I stayed up until 9 am Sunday. Finally I nodded off and when I awoke several hours later, voila, I remembered how to breathe.
It was the most amazing trip of my life. The only drawback was the breathing thing.
substancecode_lsa
substancecode_lysergamides
substancecode_mushrooms
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
roacode_oral
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
_combo_
Saturday morning, I ground up 10 Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds in a coffee grinder and loaded the powder into empty capsules. I ended up with six pills. Though I was wearing rubber gloves, interacting with the seeds made me nauseous, and I had to lie down for awhile. I woke up a few hours later, and went shopping and to a Mongolian barbeque with my boyfriend. He bought me Animatrix and told me to watch it when I was tripping. I was in an excellent mood.
At eight pm, I took the LSA pills. I drank currant juice because it contains an MAO inhibitor. I popped in Animatrix and loved it. I planned to wait until I felt the effects of the LSA before I took the mushrooms. By 9:30, however, I still didn’t feel anything other than slightly stoned because I had smoked a bowl. I decided it was mushroom time. I ate three grams. It was the end of my bag, so many of them were tiny aborts.
My apartment was dark. I always have Christmas lights around my windowsill and several blacklights. Then I lit some candles, too. Usually I cannot stand the dark, so I was refreshed to have a different atmosphere going on. I stopped looking at the clock, so I have no more times to report.
It was probably twenty minutes after eating the mushrooms that I walked into my kitchen for something. Again, it was dark except for a red lightbulb. It was silent except for the flood creaking. I had an odd sensation that I was in my late grandmother’s kitchen, though they look nothing alike. I realized I was beginning to trip when I couldn’t take my eyes off a painting of a sailing ship on orange felt (a great thrift store find). It was popping out at me in the eerie red light. The pattered grating of my cabinets was compelling, almost to the point of being unbearable.
I returned to my living room and sat on my sofa. I thought about stuff and felt a little lost. I was at a point of half-tripping, half-wondering what the heck I was doing. The darkness scared me a little because I love color, but the swirls I was seeing on my tapestries were black without my overhead lamp on. (I know it sounds like I’m afraid of the dark, but I’m really not! I just have always preferred to have a lot of lights on.)
At some point, I put on sitar music and moved into my egg chair. I closed my eyes, and the music was now in my head. The colors were phenomenal. I laid back, eyes still closed, and began probing outward with my hands. When I ran my fingers along one of my wall tapestries, I heard every thread sing in my brain. I was completely disoriented, didn’t know where my body began or end. What was that strange thing I was feeling? Ah, it must be my computer speaker. I caressed it and felt thankful for technology. I had just watched Animatrix, after all. I stayed like this for a long time – sprawled in my egg chair, eyes closed, colors whirling, sounds in my brain, fingers amazed by whatever they stumbled across. It was the most purely psychedelic moment of my life.
There is no way I can explain this, but it happened the first time I was on LSA too. I begin to see the ways in which beauty and math are intertwined. I think about how complicated life is, and my brain sees fractals. I think about how complex a relationship is, then relate it to another, then another, and then another in an exponential way. I begin to feel math.
Around the same time, I began to lose the distinction between reality and fiction. I thought about my favorite characters, though Sherlock Holmes is the only one I can remember right now. I think to myself that fiction is real because it has meaning. I have always believed in Santa Claus. Though not a flesh and blood person, he’s a real entity in our minds and hearts at least. Basically, everything in the world seemed real and related in a special way. I even thought about several people that I don’t care for and made mental note that they were so special, too. Simply put, I was in a place of magic.
When the CD ended, I curled up in my egg chair like a baby. Tears flowed out of my eyes. I’m not sure why, but probably because I was overwhelmed by the complexity my brain had just dreamed up. I didn’t feel bad, but confused and childlike. I wanted someone to hold me. And that is what happened.
I don’t know what I think about God in general, but at that moment, God held me. I was wrapped up in my egg chair, but it felt like God’s hand. I was vaguely aware that my idea of God doesn’t fit with anyone else’s, so the name is rather a misnomer. But yet something powerful (probably a conglomeration of all out our energies) was cradling me and soothing me. I cried and felt so at peace. I have scarcely felt so safe and secure in my life. I talked to God a little, but did not expect an answer. I just wanted to be a child in strong arms. I felt blessed.
After what seemed like a long time, I began stretching my limbs out. “I want to live!” I said. I felt new energy and faith and goodwill and strength within me. I had been in the cradle of God, been completely revamped, and was now ready to go out into the world again. It was actually déjà vu, because I had felt that exact same way during my first mushroom trip too – that I was being allowed to take a break from reality in order to rev up my engine, and then I could go back and continue contributing to society, helping others, emanating loving-kindness, etc. A trip is my recharge.
I went into my bedroom and could not believe the clock – it was only midnight! I thought I had been gone for hours. I got out my journal and began to write, though it was silly because all my letters wobbled all over the place since I was still very much under the influence. My boyfriend called to check on me, and I was aware that I sounded very dumb and empty on the phone. I just didn’t have any words for what had happened. I wrote about four pages and slowly my perceptions began to fall back into place, though my letters wouldn’t stop jiggling, disappearing and reappearing too. At about one, I felt it was bedtime.
WRONG! This is the only thing I hate about mushrooms: they destroy my ability to breathe naturally. The second I laid down, my breathing abruptly stopped. “Oh great, this again…” It’s like my parasympathetic nervous system just forgets that part of its job is to breathe for me. So I have to concentrate on taking manual, shallow breaths. I kept waiting and waiting for my body to take over, but it simply didn’t. I was afraid to go to sleep and suffocate (plus how could I fall asleep anyway feeling as though I might die?), so I got up and began reading though I was dead tired. I stayed up until 9 am Sunday. Finally I nodded off and when I awoke several hours later, voila, I remembered how to breathe.
It was the most amazing trip of my life. The only drawback was the breathing thing.
substancecode_lsa
substancecode_lysergamides
substancecode_mushrooms
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
roacode_oral
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
_combo_
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