My lifechanging LSA experience
So I'm a 19-year-old college kid.
In October, me and 2 of my friends and another kid who we kinda knew gathered together to take morning glory seeds and try telepathy, cause me and one of the friends, T, had achieved it on an LSA trip the previous week and I was anxious to try it again.
T soaked his seeds in water and removed the seed coats cause he claims they make him nauseous and then we all ground up our seeds with a coffee grinder and put them on peanut-butter sandwiches. I took about 180 seeds. It was pretty hard to get down even though the peanut butter almost cancels out the taste. But the seeds are pretty nasty, anyhow.
This was a while ago so my timing may be off...
I guess I came up sometime from 30 minutes - an hour later. We were at T's house and some of his roomates were around, we were sitting around talking. I really wanted to talk about something really hardcore (God, Time, etc) or practice telepathy, but the other guys were talking about politics or something like that and I was very uninterested. I couldn't figure out a way to get them to change the topic, so I just kinda sat there and thought about things for a while...I don't remember at all what I started thinking about, but it probably had to do with the situation at hand, of course.
Eventually I began thinking very intensely and became scared of either having a heart attack or having my brain overheat from too much thought. We were all still sitting around in T's living room. I remember telling my friends that I was freakin' out but no one really seemed to care, or at least do anything about it. I remember trying to go to bed, but I couldn't fall asleep because when I tried, I became convinced that I would forget to keep my heart beating because I was thinking about things with my conscious AND my subconcious mind (whether this was true or not, I don't really know...but it was probably somewhat true, as seems to me to be the general case regarding psychedelics) and my mind wanders from my physical body when I sleep.
So I was alternating between lying and closing my eyes and then opening them again and feeling slightly better after having relaxed my brain (at least by cutting down on visual input) and then feeling bad again and trying to sleep again. This went on for a while.
I remember thinking that this night was surely going to change the future of everything. Either I would die, or me and all my friends would die, or maybe no one would die and something miraculous would happen.
So my thoughts were becoming very hardcore...focused on things that I could pinpoint and that seemed very important to me (such as death).
I felt like I was going to die for about two hours on-and-off, in total.
Eventually, one of the guys I was tripping with got sick and went outside to vomit. No one really seemed to care, and I instantly realized that I should go outside to help him or at least make sure he was alright. At this moment I had an epiphany.
I realized that by going outside and helping him I would also be helping myself get out of the room and change environment, etc. It would give me something to do besides think about things.
I realized, at this moment, that altruism was equal to selfishness, because this act was both selfish and altruistic at once.
Afterwards, the trip went fine, and me and two of the friends walked back to our houses. I haven't really been the same since.
I remember about a week later, I ran into a copy of Tao Te Ching at a friend's house, and I realized that I could finally understand it easily based on this newfound understanding that the most hardcore thing is a paradox. I guess I had found Tao.
Following this, I had a period of rather severe depression because I was trying to fight Tao instead of going with it because I felt constrained by it.
A while ago I have realized that you cannot go against Tao...I just lost the meaning of Tao when I became depressed.
Anyhow...heh...my dad needs the computer, so I'm going to leave...I've been feeling a lot better lately, and I really love the psychedelic experience and have learned how to handle it much better. I will post my recent LSD trip report soon, I hope. Love and peace to all reading this.
So I'm a 19-year-old college kid.
In October, me and 2 of my friends and another kid who we kinda knew gathered together to take morning glory seeds and try telepathy, cause me and one of the friends, T, had achieved it on an LSA trip the previous week and I was anxious to try it again.
T soaked his seeds in water and removed the seed coats cause he claims they make him nauseous and then we all ground up our seeds with a coffee grinder and put them on peanut-butter sandwiches. I took about 180 seeds. It was pretty hard to get down even though the peanut butter almost cancels out the taste. But the seeds are pretty nasty, anyhow.
This was a while ago so my timing may be off...
I guess I came up sometime from 30 minutes - an hour later. We were at T's house and some of his roomates were around, we were sitting around talking. I really wanted to talk about something really hardcore (God, Time, etc) or practice telepathy, but the other guys were talking about politics or something like that and I was very uninterested. I couldn't figure out a way to get them to change the topic, so I just kinda sat there and thought about things for a while...I don't remember at all what I started thinking about, but it probably had to do with the situation at hand, of course.
Eventually I began thinking very intensely and became scared of either having a heart attack or having my brain overheat from too much thought. We were all still sitting around in T's living room. I remember telling my friends that I was freakin' out but no one really seemed to care, or at least do anything about it. I remember trying to go to bed, but I couldn't fall asleep because when I tried, I became convinced that I would forget to keep my heart beating because I was thinking about things with my conscious AND my subconcious mind (whether this was true or not, I don't really know...but it was probably somewhat true, as seems to me to be the general case regarding psychedelics) and my mind wanders from my physical body when I sleep.
So I was alternating between lying and closing my eyes and then opening them again and feeling slightly better after having relaxed my brain (at least by cutting down on visual input) and then feeling bad again and trying to sleep again. This went on for a while.
I remember thinking that this night was surely going to change the future of everything. Either I would die, or me and all my friends would die, or maybe no one would die and something miraculous would happen.
So my thoughts were becoming very hardcore...focused on things that I could pinpoint and that seemed very important to me (such as death).
I felt like I was going to die for about two hours on-and-off, in total.
Eventually, one of the guys I was tripping with got sick and went outside to vomit. No one really seemed to care, and I instantly realized that I should go outside to help him or at least make sure he was alright. At this moment I had an epiphany.
I realized that by going outside and helping him I would also be helping myself get out of the room and change environment, etc. It would give me something to do besides think about things.
I realized, at this moment, that altruism was equal to selfishness, because this act was both selfish and altruistic at once.
Afterwards, the trip went fine, and me and two of the friends walked back to our houses. I haven't really been the same since.
I remember about a week later, I ran into a copy of Tao Te Ching at a friend's house, and I realized that I could finally understand it easily based on this newfound understanding that the most hardcore thing is a paradox. I guess I had found Tao.
Following this, I had a period of rather severe depression because I was trying to fight Tao instead of going with it because I felt constrained by it.
A while ago I have realized that you cannot go against Tao...I just lost the meaning of Tao when I became depressed.
Anyhow...heh...my dad needs the computer, so I'm going to leave...I've been feeling a lot better lately, and I really love the psychedelic experience and have learned how to handle it much better. I will post my recent LSD trip report soon, I hope. Love and peace to all reading this.
