Jamshyd
Bluelight Crew
Despite being severely depressive, these past couple of months I’ve been rather happy most of the time, probably due to making psycho-spiritual progress, of which this is the most recent development. This progress I am talking about is comprised of me coming in terms with my feminine side (I guess, what Jung would call the “Anima”). I had been very aware of this side for as long as I remember (especially being gay), but I have not experienced it as sublimely as I did in this period. This experience had few drug-related incidences, and is mostly due to my being acquainted with a very consciously masculine guy who seems to have brought Her out to the main stage, but She does not seem to be dependant on him. Drug-related highlights include a failed (as usual) experiment with MDMA, a beautiful experience with 2C-D and aforementioned guy that compensated for it, and now this.
I have had the materials to make Ayahuasca (which I prefer to call Yagé both because I like the sound of it and because I am not using B. caapi) for a while now, but I had been reluctant to try DMT (or any psychedelics) for a while due to my emotional fragility. Now I found that my Anima was confident enough to actually dabble in this very interesting drug, perhaps due to the female/male interaction of its components. I decided to start low – I took about 2g of Paganum harmala and 3g of very finely ground (to the point of forming wisps of green in the air upon opening the bag)Diplopterys cabrerana and steeped them both in boiling water and lemon juice for about 30mins, stirring frequently. I had previously experimented with up to 3g of harmala on its own, so I am rather familiar with its effects at this level, which are mild and subtle at the most. The brew emanated a very interesting vegetable smell besides the familiar harmala smell.
DAY 1
Although I had made up my mind to take only about a 1/3rd of that rectally, I decided I will taste it first, just to know what it tasted like. It definitely did not taste good, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as, say, Morning Glory seeds. I then poured 30ml in a measuring cup, and proceeded to take that rectally in 10ml increments. I took the first two increments 15mins apart, and then the last one 30mins later. Although I felt the familiar warm/floaty harmala effects, there was definitely something else present. The first effect I felt was, not surprisingly, a not-so pleasant stomach churning, but nothing I couldn’t handle. The headspace felt like Mushrooms more than anything else I had tried, however, unlike mushrooms, it felt extremely clean. So clean, in fact, that its tone was more like that of DPT, which I consider sacred. The experience lasted about 1.5 hours, and did not go beyond a + on a Shulgin scale. It made me feel welcome (again, unlike Shrooms) and put me in a good mood and a creative mindset for the rest of the day, which I used to write an article that had been developing in my mind recently.
I decided to leave the rest of the brew to soak overnight, and consume the rest of it tomorrow. Shortly after the experience, I decided to take my scheduled 5mg Diazepam. I am tapering a short benzo addiction and have successfully reached 5mg every 2 days with Diazepam
.
DAY 2
I decided to take about 100mg Codeine for some cold-like symptoms, which the codeine successfully obliterated, but did little more than that (in terms of psychoactive effects). However, I do suspect that this, plus the still-active metabolites of Diazepam, probably has contributed to a lowering of any psychedelic effects of today’s experience.
In the afternoon (about 24 hours since the last ingestion), I decided I wanted to take the rest of the brew. I had 70ml left – I found it funny how I had exactly 100ml to begin with. Before partaking I drank some Yunnan black tea/Gunpowder green tea mix, in which I threw a few ginger shavings in anticipation for any nausea that I will experience. I took the 70mg in 10mg portions, giving each a space of about 10mins, with a 20min break in the middle for a light meal of fish and rice.
There was some stomach discomfort, and a hint of nausea (of the opiate back-of-the-head-pain variety), but nothing too disturbing. The drug came on stronger this time, but nothing overwhelming, just enough for me to get acquainted with it. Again, this felt more like mushrooms than anything else, however, with a “purity” comparable to DPT. Unlike DPT, there was non of that Mantric Motorcycle Engine churning in my solar-plexus at AUM-speed. No, this had a creepy quietness to it that is more akin to shrooms and LSD.
It also felt very “vegetative,” in that it was extremely calm yet somehow perceived as extremely powerful at the same time. This thing loves music! I found myself drumming on my knees almost automatically! The drug was surprisingly clear-headed, a very solid ++ on the Shulgin scale, and gives a clear impression being, like DPT, a drug that jumps form a ++ to a ++++ without much bullshit.
This lasted about 2.5 hours (probably due to the slow consumption). The second hour I decided to meditate on my feminine side. I did not want any music but the drug seemed to demand it, so after much thought I decided to listen to DJ Cheb I Sabbah’s “Shri Durga,” conveniently enough. (Śri Durga is one of the main forms in which my anima presented herself). For scent I decided on Amber incense (my favourite) and for taste, half a glass of Chilean Red (being careful with MAOI restrictions) in Her honour which I am having as I type this report.
Needless to say, the meditation was very fruitful. What does She have to say, bearing in mind that all words are lies? “I am married to Nothing, for better or worse, till Death unites us!”
Love and Light.
I have had the materials to make Ayahuasca (which I prefer to call Yagé both because I like the sound of it and because I am not using B. caapi) for a while now, but I had been reluctant to try DMT (or any psychedelics) for a while due to my emotional fragility. Now I found that my Anima was confident enough to actually dabble in this very interesting drug, perhaps due to the female/male interaction of its components. I decided to start low – I took about 2g of Paganum harmala and 3g of very finely ground (to the point of forming wisps of green in the air upon opening the bag)Diplopterys cabrerana and steeped them both in boiling water and lemon juice for about 30mins, stirring frequently. I had previously experimented with up to 3g of harmala on its own, so I am rather familiar with its effects at this level, which are mild and subtle at the most. The brew emanated a very interesting vegetable smell besides the familiar harmala smell.
DAY 1
Although I had made up my mind to take only about a 1/3rd of that rectally, I decided I will taste it first, just to know what it tasted like. It definitely did not taste good, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as, say, Morning Glory seeds. I then poured 30ml in a measuring cup, and proceeded to take that rectally in 10ml increments. I took the first two increments 15mins apart, and then the last one 30mins later. Although I felt the familiar warm/floaty harmala effects, there was definitely something else present. The first effect I felt was, not surprisingly, a not-so pleasant stomach churning, but nothing I couldn’t handle. The headspace felt like Mushrooms more than anything else I had tried, however, unlike mushrooms, it felt extremely clean. So clean, in fact, that its tone was more like that of DPT, which I consider sacred. The experience lasted about 1.5 hours, and did not go beyond a + on a Shulgin scale. It made me feel welcome (again, unlike Shrooms) and put me in a good mood and a creative mindset for the rest of the day, which I used to write an article that had been developing in my mind recently.
I decided to leave the rest of the brew to soak overnight, and consume the rest of it tomorrow. Shortly after the experience, I decided to take my scheduled 5mg Diazepam. I am tapering a short benzo addiction and have successfully reached 5mg every 2 days with Diazepam
. DAY 2
I decided to take about 100mg Codeine for some cold-like symptoms, which the codeine successfully obliterated, but did little more than that (in terms of psychoactive effects). However, I do suspect that this, plus the still-active metabolites of Diazepam, probably has contributed to a lowering of any psychedelic effects of today’s experience.
In the afternoon (about 24 hours since the last ingestion), I decided I wanted to take the rest of the brew. I had 70ml left – I found it funny how I had exactly 100ml to begin with. Before partaking I drank some Yunnan black tea/Gunpowder green tea mix, in which I threw a few ginger shavings in anticipation for any nausea that I will experience. I took the 70mg in 10mg portions, giving each a space of about 10mins, with a 20min break in the middle for a light meal of fish and rice.
There was some stomach discomfort, and a hint of nausea (of the opiate back-of-the-head-pain variety), but nothing too disturbing. The drug came on stronger this time, but nothing overwhelming, just enough for me to get acquainted with it. Again, this felt more like mushrooms than anything else, however, with a “purity” comparable to DPT. Unlike DPT, there was non of that Mantric Motorcycle Engine churning in my solar-plexus at AUM-speed. No, this had a creepy quietness to it that is more akin to shrooms and LSD.
It also felt very “vegetative,” in that it was extremely calm yet somehow perceived as extremely powerful at the same time. This thing loves music! I found myself drumming on my knees almost automatically! The drug was surprisingly clear-headed, a very solid ++ on the Shulgin scale, and gives a clear impression being, like DPT, a drug that jumps form a ++ to a ++++ without much bullshit.
This lasted about 2.5 hours (probably due to the slow consumption). The second hour I decided to meditate on my feminine side. I did not want any music but the drug seemed to demand it, so after much thought I decided to listen to DJ Cheb I Sabbah’s “Shri Durga,” conveniently enough. (Śri Durga is one of the main forms in which my anima presented herself). For scent I decided on Amber incense (my favourite) and for taste, half a glass of Chilean Red (being careful with MAOI restrictions) in Her honour which I am having as I type this report.
Needless to say, the meditation was very fruitful. What does She have to say, bearing in mind that all words are lies? “I am married to Nothing, for better or worse, till Death unites us!”
Love and Light.
. 
. 
