Heyyyyy,
It's been awhile since I've been on. Last time I was on the xanax almost daily and occasionally the opiates. Long story short, my xanax guy down the hall moved out of state and fell off... I seemed to have no issue with withdrawl because I started to substitute with H.... I called up a acquatiencance looking for norco, oxy, roxy, etc and he could only get bags so I desperately agred because my bf and I were doing china white (fetanyl bags) here and there.
It's now been bout 2.5 months and H is destroying our relationship one day at a time... At first it was great cuz it was cheap and my guy dropped off so I never risked driving with it. I've been ith my bf coming on 2 yrs and long before us he has been battling opiate addiction on and off. Now, we are both feigns and everyday he comes home from work he goes right to the desk and starts doing his bags.. he no longer comes home and kisses me, and all oru affection has gone down the drains. the only times we fight is when it comes to drugs and we both are stingy with our stuff.
The sad thing is I'm so young, just turned 21, and he's 23. He's in the union and makes great money to support his habit and I make pretty good money and I'm still in school. All our spare cash goes to our addiction and we barely go out to the bars, and when we do my bf is nodding out. IT's pathetic and embarrasing. On Fri Sept 26 we went day 1 on drugs. We made it till that Wed.I got thru it with cutting 8mg subs and basically went through no withrdawls while he was sleeping, depressed and basically going through hell. I physically got over the opiates it was just the mentality. I snapped on Wed night bcuz that is my not to get drunk since I am off unit Saturday. He followed with me and now our tolerance has greatly increased and our relationship is taking a turn for the worse
IN past posts, I've mentioned how I do all housework(btw it is my aparmeent with all my furniture, tvs, silverware, etc is all my stuff.. lease is in my name) Anyway, he calims he needs bags to get thru work and be productive but he barely does help around the place unless I ask which is super annoying and getting on my nerves. I don't mind doing it, but i expect him to be more appreciative or atleast take me out on dates, buy me stuff for a "just bcuz" but it never happens.
I now feel in a trap with these bags that I mentally need them to keep up around household duties, and i need it to feel "awake" and "alive"... I have a sub appt beginning of nov and I know it will help bcuz my bf useed to b prescribed them & i made an appt for him.. It sucks cuz I feel like he loves this stuff more than me, even though he claims he doesnt.
The past week I feel so distant, disconnected, and disgusted with him. He comes home from work, gets higher, and then nods out until he goes to bed. I know I'm not perfect, but I need some advice... I say i'll leave him all the time, but for some freaking reason I feel like his mom and have this unconditional love and cannot leave him
It's been awhile since I've been on. Last time I was on the xanax almost daily and occasionally the opiates. Long story short, my xanax guy down the hall moved out of state and fell off... I seemed to have no issue with withdrawl because I started to substitute with H.... I called up a acquatiencance looking for norco, oxy, roxy, etc and he could only get bags so I desperately agred because my bf and I were doing china white (fetanyl bags) here and there.
It's now been bout 2.5 months and H is destroying our relationship one day at a time... At first it was great cuz it was cheap and my guy dropped off so I never risked driving with it. I've been ith my bf coming on 2 yrs and long before us he has been battling opiate addiction on and off. Now, we are both feigns and everyday he comes home from work he goes right to the desk and starts doing his bags.. he no longer comes home and kisses me, and all oru affection has gone down the drains. the only times we fight is when it comes to drugs and we both are stingy with our stuff.
The sad thing is I'm so young, just turned 21, and he's 23. He's in the union and makes great money to support his habit and I make pretty good money and I'm still in school. All our spare cash goes to our addiction and we barely go out to the bars, and when we do my bf is nodding out. IT's pathetic and embarrasing. On Fri Sept 26 we went day 1 on drugs. We made it till that Wed.I got thru it with cutting 8mg subs and basically went through no withrdawls while he was sleeping, depressed and basically going through hell. I physically got over the opiates it was just the mentality. I snapped on Wed night bcuz that is my not to get drunk since I am off unit Saturday. He followed with me and now our tolerance has greatly increased and our relationship is taking a turn for the worse
IN past posts, I've mentioned how I do all housework(btw it is my aparmeent with all my furniture, tvs, silverware, etc is all my stuff.. lease is in my name) Anyway, he calims he needs bags to get thru work and be productive but he barely does help around the place unless I ask which is super annoying and getting on my nerves. I don't mind doing it, but i expect him to be more appreciative or atleast take me out on dates, buy me stuff for a "just bcuz" but it never happens.
I now feel in a trap with these bags that I mentally need them to keep up around household duties, and i need it to feel "awake" and "alive"... I have a sub appt beginning of nov and I know it will help bcuz my bf useed to b prescribed them & i made an appt for him.. It sucks cuz I feel like he loves this stuff more than me, even though he claims he doesnt.
The past week I feel so distant, disconnected, and disgusted with him. He comes home from work, gets higher, and then nods out until he goes to bed. I know I'm not perfect, but I need some advice... I say i'll leave him all the time, but for some freaking reason I feel like his mom and have this unconditional love and cannot leave him
