cj
Bluelight Crew
This sucks. Heaven is becoming hell. Love replaced by distain. An eye roll instead of a smile. Arguments instead of laughter. Cold replaces heat. Death replacing life. Bicker over it all. Why? That's my question. Why?
The thought of you not being beside me is incomprehensible. I don't even want to imagine it. But hearing the disdain as you call me a self centered asshole is like a knife in my belly. It hurts. Tears or rage? What should I do my brain flashes at top speed. Rage. Nah walk away Andrew. Walk away. That's how I know it's bad. We don't even bother to fight.
If it doesn't work out I'm done with this life. I'm going back to shooting and I will make sure it's a quick end. I am sure my body won't take much more relentless use. Yeah live or die perhaps live and die. The death is just do you will maybe wonder what if? What if we put our swords down? What if I wasn't garbage? What if I kill myself tonight? Do I get to come back if you realize I am not so bad?
I could leave? But it's your money so I would feel I betrayed you. I still love you. We grew up. I wish we hadn't. It's not good. Mark my words and this is a promise if we don't make it I will not continue on alone. Forever or nothing for me. That's not a threat. Leave if you must but don't expect me too continue. Life is shit snyway
The thought of you not being beside me is incomprehensible. I don't even want to imagine it. But hearing the disdain as you call me a self centered asshole is like a knife in my belly. It hurts. Tears or rage? What should I do my brain flashes at top speed. Rage. Nah walk away Andrew. Walk away. That's how I know it's bad. We don't even bother to fight.
If it doesn't work out I'm done with this life. I'm going back to shooting and I will make sure it's a quick end. I am sure my body won't take much more relentless use. Yeah live or die perhaps live and die. The death is just do you will maybe wonder what if? What if we put our swords down? What if I wasn't garbage? What if I kill myself tonight? Do I get to come back if you realize I am not so bad?
I could leave? But it's your money so I would feel I betrayed you. I still love you. We grew up. I wish we hadn't. It's not good. Mark my words and this is a promise if we don't make it I will not continue on alone. Forever or nothing for me. That's not a threat. Leave if you must but don't expect me too continue. Life is shit snyway
