Love and Hate Relationship with Cocaine

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Anonymous2345123

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Ever since I've tried this drug at 25 I've been hooked. Even though I don't do it every day It makes its way into my dreams and when I do have the opportunity to do it - I don't stop until it's all gone. I am worried about the damage I am causing to my body. At the same time it momentarily takes me away from my depression. Can anyone relate?
 
The feel good feelings last for such a short amount of time and the addiction can get quite nasty - it's really not worth it. You are better off looking at other means to resolve your depression.

How long have you been depressed, and are you working with a doctor and a therapist?
 
I am only a Coke addict, when I have it on me :| I can stay away for however amount of time but it is a certainty that nothing will stop me from finishing however much I have when I get it..no matter how much..it's such a shitty drug tho..after the first hour I just turn into a mindless Coke snorting robot that talks twice as fast but I just can't put it down once I start
 
For me the agitation and absence of mind is too much. Also if i stay up too late i get flashbacks, people start reading me just like in acid and speak in code or metafors. It has been the worst curse and blessing i ever had, since i cant do any other drugs than MJ and shrooms, all else gives me this psychosis. Atleast i wont get to problems and wont mess my mind, but living in fear and not being able to do things i enjoy is a curse :( . I love taking coke with friends and hang out, but its all over for me :( .
 
I think most addicts have a love/hate relationship with their DOC. Cocaine was never my thing (a girl I liked in college invited me to a fleabag motel room for a weekend of cocaine and sex) as it made me manic and made trouble in the 'man department,' but man, opiates, benzos and alcohol...I hated that it was making me an irresponsible fuckup and impacting my family/social/professional life, but I didn't hate it more than I loved just blissfully nodding out.
 
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