dnb2012
Bluelighter
dont know if this is in the right place feel free to move if so...
about a week ago me and my partner now ex had a huge fall out. over the last few weeks maybe months she has been feeling really low about life, family friends etc it took her a while to tell me about it. but i knew exactly how she felt as i felt like few months ago but i managed to seek help and pick my self up and clear my act up. any to cut a long story short last weekend we had a bender on drugs two nights three days. we had babysitter for kids and got on it, between us both we have probelsm with drugs more her then me, as i can now say no to them just choose not to where has she thinks about and has to do it sort of become normality for her and because it made us closer, guess thats when u no u have problems when u take drugs to become closer to your partner, see we new that was a problem but for some reason we didnt act on that? anyway last monday after on few hours sleep she was saying she wasnt very well, i think i no why but didnt want to assume, so i kept trying to talk to her she was very short tempered with me struggled to talk to me, i was only asking things like are you oka? whats wrong? how can i help etc, any the day went on, i poppped home to ma mums just to get out the way for ten mins thinking myabe it was me doing this to her so i got the way before it esculated how ever that made escualte and she was sending me a lot of verbal and harsh messages calling me all names under sun saying she wants to die threatening to kill her self etc anyway after about an hour i went up and she had slightly calm down, so she was doing her thing on pc i was wtaching telly with our lil dude asking what she wants for tea her snpping saying ill do it me saying ill do it for ya etc, anyway i asked her something not too sure what no to be honest and i got answered yes, thats it so i said saracasticly well im glad we had this conversation and boom! she flipped never seen like that berfore throwing shit went to kitchen grabbed a big sharp knife out threathening to kill her self if i didnt leave if i did leave if i take baby with me if i didnt take him so either way she was gonna, then she was threatening to kill me and my mum cos i said im taking him u can fuck right off ya physco and she pinned me up in kitchen with knife saying call me that again ill stab u for 30 seconds of my life i thought she was gunna, any she backed off punching walls telling me how much she hated me etc which was head thrashing because we had a brilliant week, and was getting closer again because we only just been back together a few weeks, bare in mind she came back to me saying she loves me and misses me etc so why this? any way when she moved out the way i grabbed our son walked out shut the door but she slammed it as i walked out and then tried saying i did it, i rang the police more for her saftey then anything else but when i was on the phone to police she was purposly winding me up and succeed cos the whole convo got recored as u can imagine, so the police come she was aking for baby back i refused to give her him till social servies got involved, so police nicked us both, baby went to mums. then i got charged for section 4 and five public order act she didnt get fuck all, then my bail conditions was not to contact her or fuckk all. like a fool i did the next morning when i got out just saying sorry and stuff nothing threathening or badf and she read it insatntly naturally ignored it, so that day i got in touch with social services wanted advice where baby concerned as she is mentally unstable they said i can keep him as my name on birth certifcate and have any right to so i did, then i accidently sent thumbs up icon to her and she phoned coppers and breached me she tried pretending that she just seen the first message tho she didnt and i proved it, she only breached me because i kepy him, childish bitch! so i got locked up for night went to court next day then come home. took boy to school she picked him up and now will not let me see him, tho she has no right not to let me see him or have him, so again contacted social services and my solictor to get the ball rolling, i can prove things what im accusing her off. so since wednesday ive been lost anxious and aggitated slowly loosing my mind but i have good support and friends and family who are helping me. any body got any advice about anything to give? or maybe an opionion of why it happened in the first place? why did she want to get back with few weeks ago why would she let me in her dark secrets? what took curoage to tell me. so there must of been feelings there surley? right now im numb about it all, not hurt not thinking about her either, and starting to move on, so clearly i didnt love her if i can move on, so why did i go back to her? did i just do it for lil one?? why is she admant to get me sent down?? oh yeah 4got to say im on suspended sentence. im not all innocent in this ive had my dark days suicdes selfish acts n shit buty ive picked my self up now n got a better attitude in life stronger now then what i was, well i was stronger niot so strong now due to this. sorry if it all dont make sense just need to get it off my chest and writitng it as it comes to mind. cheers guys
about a week ago me and my partner now ex had a huge fall out. over the last few weeks maybe months she has been feeling really low about life, family friends etc it took her a while to tell me about it. but i knew exactly how she felt as i felt like few months ago but i managed to seek help and pick my self up and clear my act up. any to cut a long story short last weekend we had a bender on drugs two nights three days. we had babysitter for kids and got on it, between us both we have probelsm with drugs more her then me, as i can now say no to them just choose not to where has she thinks about and has to do it sort of become normality for her and because it made us closer, guess thats when u no u have problems when u take drugs to become closer to your partner, see we new that was a problem but for some reason we didnt act on that? anyway last monday after on few hours sleep she was saying she wasnt very well, i think i no why but didnt want to assume, so i kept trying to talk to her she was very short tempered with me struggled to talk to me, i was only asking things like are you oka? whats wrong? how can i help etc, any the day went on, i poppped home to ma mums just to get out the way for ten mins thinking myabe it was me doing this to her so i got the way before it esculated how ever that made escualte and she was sending me a lot of verbal and harsh messages calling me all names under sun saying she wants to die threatening to kill her self etc anyway after about an hour i went up and she had slightly calm down, so she was doing her thing on pc i was wtaching telly with our lil dude asking what she wants for tea her snpping saying ill do it me saying ill do it for ya etc, anyway i asked her something not too sure what no to be honest and i got answered yes, thats it so i said saracasticly well im glad we had this conversation and boom! she flipped never seen like that berfore throwing shit went to kitchen grabbed a big sharp knife out threathening to kill her self if i didnt leave if i did leave if i take baby with me if i didnt take him so either way she was gonna, then she was threatening to kill me and my mum cos i said im taking him u can fuck right off ya physco and she pinned me up in kitchen with knife saying call me that again ill stab u for 30 seconds of my life i thought she was gunna, any she backed off punching walls telling me how much she hated me etc which was head thrashing because we had a brilliant week, and was getting closer again because we only just been back together a few weeks, bare in mind she came back to me saying she loves me and misses me etc so why this? any way when she moved out the way i grabbed our son walked out shut the door but she slammed it as i walked out and then tried saying i did it, i rang the police more for her saftey then anything else but when i was on the phone to police she was purposly winding me up and succeed cos the whole convo got recored as u can imagine, so the police come she was aking for baby back i refused to give her him till social servies got involved, so police nicked us both, baby went to mums. then i got charged for section 4 and five public order act she didnt get fuck all, then my bail conditions was not to contact her or fuckk all. like a fool i did the next morning when i got out just saying sorry and stuff nothing threathening or badf and she read it insatntly naturally ignored it, so that day i got in touch with social services wanted advice where baby concerned as she is mentally unstable they said i can keep him as my name on birth certifcate and have any right to so i did, then i accidently sent thumbs up icon to her and she phoned coppers and breached me she tried pretending that she just seen the first message tho she didnt and i proved it, she only breached me because i kepy him, childish bitch! so i got locked up for night went to court next day then come home. took boy to school she picked him up and now will not let me see him, tho she has no right not to let me see him or have him, so again contacted social services and my solictor to get the ball rolling, i can prove things what im accusing her off. so since wednesday ive been lost anxious and aggitated slowly loosing my mind but i have good support and friends and family who are helping me. any body got any advice about anything to give? or maybe an opionion of why it happened in the first place? why did she want to get back with few weeks ago why would she let me in her dark secrets? what took curoage to tell me. so there must of been feelings there surley? right now im numb about it all, not hurt not thinking about her either, and starting to move on, so clearly i didnt love her if i can move on, so why did i go back to her? did i just do it for lil one?? why is she admant to get me sent down?? oh yeah 4got to say im on suspended sentence. im not all innocent in this ive had my dark days suicdes selfish acts n shit buty ive picked my self up now n got a better attitude in life stronger now then what i was, well i was stronger niot so strong now due to this. sorry if it all dont make sense just need to get it off my chest and writitng it as it comes to mind. cheers guys
