lost my job, out of drugs- now what

[tocooperate]

right so,

i lost my job a few weeks ago. i could lie and say it wasn't the drugs, cause it was- but i've never been successful at a professional job even before the drugs, so maybe it's just my personality. either way, i was actually kinda relieved cause it meant no more lying and covering up, i have things id rather be doing and it gave me the time to work on them... but the adderall was what was driving me to do those things and keeping me positive about this whole thing.

now ive run out for hte month early, and i'm freaking out, panic attacks every day cause i just don't understand how my adderall-self was prepared to handle all this stuff. im running out of money FAST, i haven't told ANYONE about losing my job cause im way too embarassd, FUCK. i understand the logic and i definitely have options but i'm a mess realizing what i've done to my life. half of me doesn't want to refill my prescription next week, but if i don't i'm going to be seriously screwed for a long time. i mean, i need the meds of course, but i fear ill start abusing them in this state. help please >_<

 

[Tommyboy]

Personally, I wouldn't take adderall in your current state. Whenever I have taken it while feeling down it made the situation a lot worse since I would concentrate on how bad things were. You are better off not getting your prescription filled if you are just going to abuse them.

 

[tocooperate]

but if i get it filled, i know i can at least work on the things i need to get done to get my life back to a better shape. without them i know ill do nbothing and i fear ill slip into a depression for months...

 

[laugh]

that sounds like the begging of a bad cycle tocooperate

id agree with tommyboy

not so long ago i had a similar issue to you but the problem was crystal not adderall. ended up moving and changing my scene, in uni now and going ok

everyday without i got stronger

i hope you feel better soon!!!

 

[Mel22]

but if i get it filled, i know i can at least work on the things i need to get done to get my life back to a better shape. without them i know ill do nbothing and i fear ill slip into a depression for months...

Maybe now that you're our of work for the moment, this is the best time to go through it.

Get clean, sort things out etc.

 

[Missykins]

It sounds like now is the time to get clean. Do you think you've hit bottom?

 

[xHippiexchildx]

Once you hit bottom.. the only thing you can do is go up..

Message me if you need to talk.