Could have sworn I made a decision,
yet here we go again.
Carnal pleasure's not peripheral,
carnal pleasure's the mission.
Thought I wanted more than this,
now I'm sick in spite of myself.
You, so eager to feed the greed in me,
to soothe the yearning's hell,
and it's just us now,
your mouth on me, my fingers in you,
time to waste
and hormone's spell.
Damn it all.
How this simplicity makes my mad mind still.
How the chaos builds to a static I can surf
down to instinct, where I find some focus,
a blessed single-pointedness.
Damn it all,
for however hypnotized by this dismal lullaby,
I surely cannot sleep soundly,
bug-eyed, envious of your smooth decent into slumber,
as I lie awake, pained by the truth,
cursing myself for another slip.
I thought a deeper need
was alive in me.
This is prison, not liberty.
Instruments played,
but there was no pluck of heartstrings.
I thought a higher yearning
was germinating,
but there's no hope for harvest now.
yet here we go again.
Carnal pleasure's not peripheral,
carnal pleasure's the mission.
Thought I wanted more than this,
now I'm sick in spite of myself.
You, so eager to feed the greed in me,
to soothe the yearning's hell,
and it's just us now,
your mouth on me, my fingers in you,
time to waste
and hormone's spell.
Damn it all.
How this simplicity makes my mad mind still.
How the chaos builds to a static I can surf
down to instinct, where I find some focus,
a blessed single-pointedness.
Damn it all,
for however hypnotized by this dismal lullaby,
I surely cannot sleep soundly,
bug-eyed, envious of your smooth decent into slumber,
as I lie awake, pained by the truth,
cursing myself for another slip.
I thought a deeper need
was alive in me.
This is prison, not liberty.
Instruments played,
but there was no pluck of heartstrings.
I thought a higher yearning
was germinating,
but there's no hope for harvest now.
