Its one of those days where I feel like im about to disperse. Like the bad ending of an acid trip where every half molecule in your body has a life of its own and is just about ready to run away from center. Maybe its cancer; maybe im not going to make it out of this one alive. Maybe all those cigarettes will catch up on me alot earlier than most people.
I figure all the damage gave me this ability to figure out when im closer to death. Touching base with mortality has always been my idea of a good time. Who would have known id turn out to be such a fucking weirdo. Too many of thses "within a moments time I accept the probability that I might die alone". People die young, its a fact. Ive never been part of the self preservation movement, the pleasures of life are all left to the imagination. Eternity be it the all too common "run on", its become political. Its indoctrinated that we all go somewhere.
Its ok, im not going to try to fix things like any male would do. Consolation is unexplainable comfort. It resonates with any mammals inherited altruism. Life cares regardless of what everyone tries to make out of the harmonius abstractions. In time life will let us go, its not there for us to wonder why. Its sustaining the very cycle we are a part of, maybe out of love? Who the fuck knows.
Distance is the hopeful distraction, something good might be closer the day after when everythings clear. Even more with the volitions, even control is indecisive. Even volition is too self - concious to say so. Wheres all the fun going to go either way? It looks like even the most confident blind eye is fearful of the outcome. The upshots of the though are painful in itself. Dare I say its your ticket home? Is grace willing to think it over? The thoughts there to subside itself to the intention. Once again it lacks the ability to retain. Its just telling us about the opportunity to start where we finish. Its rewarding every other fuckin day. Thats the face of destiny we all seen before, the distractions will never tell us what its becoming. Nonetheless its there and thats about as good as it gets.
Its emotions maybe stirring up the onset of something rebellious. We have imaginations to succeed over the recession of hope. In that event, I once found something that worked. Maybe one day acceptence compells me. The intellect thats been unremarked might prevail. Paranoia holds its ground, always watching its step.
The lost child is always halfway home no matter where they go.
I figure all the damage gave me this ability to figure out when im closer to death. Touching base with mortality has always been my idea of a good time. Who would have known id turn out to be such a fucking weirdo. Too many of thses "within a moments time I accept the probability that I might die alone". People die young, its a fact. Ive never been part of the self preservation movement, the pleasures of life are all left to the imagination. Eternity be it the all too common "run on", its become political. Its indoctrinated that we all go somewhere.
Its ok, im not going to try to fix things like any male would do. Consolation is unexplainable comfort. It resonates with any mammals inherited altruism. Life cares regardless of what everyone tries to make out of the harmonius abstractions. In time life will let us go, its not there for us to wonder why. Its sustaining the very cycle we are a part of, maybe out of love? Who the fuck knows.
Distance is the hopeful distraction, something good might be closer the day after when everythings clear. Even more with the volitions, even control is indecisive. Even volition is too self - concious to say so. Wheres all the fun going to go either way? It looks like even the most confident blind eye is fearful of the outcome. The upshots of the though are painful in itself. Dare I say its your ticket home? Is grace willing to think it over? The thoughts there to subside itself to the intention. Once again it lacks the ability to retain. Its just telling us about the opportunity to start where we finish. Its rewarding every other fuckin day. Thats the face of destiny we all seen before, the distractions will never tell us what its becoming. Nonetheless its there and thats about as good as it gets.
Its emotions maybe stirring up the onset of something rebellious. We have imaginations to succeed over the recession of hope. In that event, I once found something that worked. Maybe one day acceptence compells me. The intellect thats been unremarked might prevail. Paranoia holds its ground, always watching its step.
The lost child is always halfway home no matter where they go.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")