jeebus13
Bluelighter
I am lost in the dream
of really meaning something.
I had a dream that once
I was important-
I meant things to people and places and even things
the whole world accepted the gift of me.
I thought at first that it was
only a dream
but it seems truer than that...
like a memory of something
that hasn't happenned-
probably won't,
but I remember nonetheless.
I don't think that it's really
the kind of importance people usually talk about.
Not the peripheral significance
of being famous or being "everyone's friend"
more like being the one
the last one
that ever really cared about anything
besides themselves,
but cared immensely for that, too.
Maybe I'm just raving
and pretending to know what I write about,
but it feels so real.
Like a week-long deja vu.
Like it might actually have happenned before
and I forgot about it.
Like I forgot about caring.
I am lost
and I am dreaming the dream
of genuine care and awareness
and I am dreaming it sober
and I am awake in this dream
and all my fears are still with me,
but the volume is turned down to a muffled whisper,
and I think that I am remembering a dream
or dreaming a memory,
but isn't it the same in the end
and maybe I am the same
and I am fairly sure
that this is the end.
But I still dream.
of really meaning something.
I had a dream that once
I was important-
I meant things to people and places and even things
the whole world accepted the gift of me.
I thought at first that it was
only a dream
but it seems truer than that...
like a memory of something
that hasn't happenned-
probably won't,
but I remember nonetheless.
I don't think that it's really
the kind of importance people usually talk about.
Not the peripheral significance
of being famous or being "everyone's friend"
more like being the one
the last one
that ever really cared about anything
besides themselves,
but cared immensely for that, too.
Maybe I'm just raving
and pretending to know what I write about,
but it feels so real.
Like a week-long deja vu.
Like it might actually have happenned before
and I forgot about it.
Like I forgot about caring.
I am lost
and I am dreaming the dream
of genuine care and awareness
and I am dreaming it sober
and I am awake in this dream
and all my fears are still with me,
but the volume is turned down to a muffled whisper,
and I think that I am remembering a dream
or dreaming a memory,
but isn't it the same in the end
and maybe I am the same
and I am fairly sure
that this is the end.
But I still dream.
