lost all my friends to false accusation

[moosedog]

The other night, myself and another friend spent the night at a friend's house. We spent the evening smoking weed and drinking beers, and eventually we all went to pass out. I woke up the next morning and left with my other friend. About an hour later I get a call from the friend who's house I stayed at claiming his mother's purse looked rifled through and there was about $25 missing.

I have stolen minor things from friends in the past, and I have paid the price for it. I also always fessed up to what I did and took my punishment. This time, I didn't steal anything, but I really can't blame everyone for pointing the finger at me.

Now I am back to being the lowly thief whom everyone hates and doesn't want to hang out with. Just when I was getting my shit together, making amends, and had truly learned that stealing from your friends is one of the worst things you can do, I get hit with this.

Obviously, if I didn't have a past of being a thief, I wouldn't have been accused so immediately, but since I do, there was no investigation, no nothing, just a reasonable assumption that I did it, and now everyone hates me.

What the hell do I do now? Move away? Lay low until this dies down (no one will forget this, and no one believes me)?

I don't know what happened that night, but I have some ideas that involve foul play. That night was perfect for $25 to be missing from his mom's purse, I was spending the night! I could easily be pinned. The person who's house it was does not like me, and has always had a bit of a beef with me. I have a theory that he actually stole from his own mother to frame me, but this theory just seems preposterous to anyone who thinks I did it (aka: everyone).

I lost all my friends' respect in one fell swoop. My reputation is ruined. Now I am all alone, again.

 

[DXMkid420]

i would call him back and ask if you can talk to just him. if he says yes, tell him what really happend, be sincere, and just hope for the best. thats all you can do. if you really want to keep these ppl as a friend, mmake sure you tell them it wasnt you but you dont want all this drama, so just give him 25 bucks. its a small price to pay to keep your friends

 

[amapola]

Just out of curiosity how old are you? Also I'm sure there are some people out of the group who might believe you no? Maybe you could admit to something else you did in the past they don't know about to earn some trust and show them that you have changed to get them to believe you .

 

[badandwicked]

I think no way should you give them the money, thats almost an admission of guilt and will certainly be interpreted as such. Sorry to hear about this situation OP but as you say you've stolen from friends in the past so this is a kind of on-going karmic penance. Sucks. I'd contact each person individually who was present & tell them you feel like shit but you didn't do it. Don't make any counter accusations. After this maintain your silence & your dignity, even if these 'friends' fall by the wayside. Who ever did it won't be able to help themselves from doing it again, and when they do, you'll be vindicated.

 

[moosedog]

I am 22.

This guy never wants to see me again, or speak to me. In the past couple days I have kind of accepted it. I did nothing wrong and yet I get exiled from my group. I am starting to think that nature will run its course and those in the wrong will be punished, and I will come out of this ordeal a better person. Maybe...I am just depressed and I feel like binging on drugs, the only problem is, I have no money! I am always broke because I am unemployed, thus giving the accusing party more evidence that I did it. Also why I cant pay my ex-friend $25.

 

[amapola]

Hmmm maybe you can coerce your friends into listening to you and believing you by purposely feeding them information which they think they only accidentally stumbled upon and which they will therefore take as valid at face value. Here is an idea.

Create a profile at an open message board support and discussion site regarding mental illnesses. Then post on it for a few days regarding this issue and some others about depression etc. Send an email or text to one of your friends which you "didn't mean to send them" addressed to a fictional or real person you met on the board asking for help with something or other (make sure you include your username from the website). Your friend reads the message and is like what's going on. Then they check out the online forums and see what they think is you pouring your heart out on an internet message board about how you didn't steal it and how you've tried to change etc. Your friends contact you saying they saw everything and they believe you and you act all embarrassed and everyone is happy :D

If that is too elaborate for you then approach a few of them one by one (closest to you) and admitting to real or made up but plausible ways you have hurt them in the past that they don't know about as a gesture of good faith. Then stress that you didn't do this most recent crime and you have changed as evident by your willingness to tell the truth about these old things. If you had stole that guy's mom's money you would tell the truth now, like you just did about the old one they didn't even know about. Pretty simple and nothing to lose.

edit: in both of these cases the more embarrassing and outlandish you are the more plausible it should seem to them that you are honest as they will be thinking why would he be admitting something this bad/acting so messed up and emotional online, if it isn't true/he didn't want us to see.

edit2: also being 22 you can try and laugh off 20 bucks as a inconsequential amount that no one would bother to steal, but if that contradicts your previous behaviour then it will just seem suspicious.

 

[MeddieFrac]

Did his Mom notice that it was missing? Did he tell her that you did it?

This situation is real messed up bro and it is truly ridiculous that everyone now hates you over some bullshat like this. I mean, even if you did steal it, I don't think that warrants you to be exiled from a group of friends. I mean, who really cares, it's only 25 bucks, and they must be some self-righteous pricks to condemn you over 25 measly dollars.

Just lay low, it should blow over soon, and just remain adamant that you didn't do it, and they should soon all accept your claim that you are innocent. Sorry for the bad luck bro, just hang in there!

 

[sackynut]

Sorry to hear this, maybe you should find some more real people to hang with who dont steal money and frame it on their friends.

stealing stuff is one thing, framing someone, especially your friend is another.

Maybe you can try to appeal to the others and just forget kickin it with that guy? He sounds like a clown anyways

 

[badandwicked]

. I mean, even if you did steal it, I don't think that warrants you to be exiled from a group of friends. I mean, who really cares, it's only 25 bucks, and they must be some self-righteous pricks to condemn you over 25 measly dollars.

I'd care. It's nothing to do with the amount, it's about trust. And I don't consider myself self righteous.

 

[MeddieFrac]

I'd care. It's nothing to do with the amount, it's about trust. And I don't consider myself self righteous.

So if you found out that one of your good friends stole $25 from someone's mom, you would exile that person and not talk to them again? That's pretty messed up bro. I might trust my friend less, but there is no way I would do what the OP's friends are doing to him.

 

[badandwicked]

I didn't say i'd exile him, i said i'd care. Of course i'd forgive him if he was sincerely sorry. As far as his friends are concerned this isn't the first time he's done this, and they forgave him the 1st time. Thats the problem with breaking someones trust even one time, you're always a suspect 2nd time round.

 

[*=Regulator=*]

No way could I just let that go. Even if the people in the group didn't believe me, I'd at least make sure I told them as emphatically as possible that I did not do it and have absolutely no idea who did.

You mentioned that you've stolen in the past and when caught you admitted to it and apologised. Can you remind them that in the past you fessed up so there's no reason why you wouldn't do the same thing this time?

At least try to contact your friends and tell them you didn't do it. If they won't believe you and won't let you back into the group, there's not a lot you can do and they sound like pretty shitty friends.

Just to rule it out, is there any chance that when you were in a completely fucked up state you DID steal the money? Could you have done it and then forgotten about it because you were so fucked up?