Mental Health losing

[r3claim]

I used to compare myself to those I thought were insane, mentally unwell. And I would think I was somehow better for keeping my issues inside. I see now, that there’s no difference between me and a lunatic, when the only degree of separation between us is a fine layer cowardice keeping me alive.
I forget in my ‘normal’ moments what my minds default setting feels to be, but when my world comes crashing down for whatever reason, I see just how far I have gone. Intrusive isn’t the half of it, when it gets to the point of inescapability so bad you forget how to do anything but stare at your ceiling. Truth be told, it’s comforting to me, to feel horrible. And it makes me feel like I’m not alone when I consider what ending it would be like and I remember it runs in the family.
At the snap of a finger, nothing matters. Maybe it never did. And at another snap, I’ll be back to ‘normal’- can I ever consider myself sane or better if one second it’s pointless and the next I’m a coward? I think this mental battle is what always leads me back to self medicating, sober living is torture when my mind runs like this. Reaching out to people feels cheap, but I never want to be fully alone, in fact it’s my worst fear. But in the back of my mind, I kind of always know it’s only me, only I am here for myself, and I don’t even do a good job at it. Dunno, just writing this down before it’s gone I suppose

 

[M1sterEd]

It is true we are alone in our thoughts and thinking. We are likewise social creatures who yearns to share our life with other people of like mind.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts it is a brave thing you have done reaching out to me and others of like minds who perhaps relate to what you are experiencing.
We are the same but different isn’t it wonderful how we connect to so many people in good times and not so good times. Because we care.

 

[PtahTek]

there’s no difference between me and a lunatic

i do not see the two separable. that would create the need of denying a small part or facet of ones personality from shining. it is socially unacceptable. we "hide" it.
i like the idea that i am both sane and insane. the tame and feral. the light and darkness. i also like how they are all important for health. i find it comforting to know that i can be that monster if needed.
the whole world is nuts why we gotta stay sane?

all the above is just ponderings and personal perspectives to be taken with a grain of salt