This is not a poem, I just wanted some feedback from all the writers in here.
A couple of years ago I used to write constantly, it was my release, my way of processing everything that happened in my life. It was a very manic-depressive stage of my life- the up-and-down rollercoaster that was the course of my drug addiction(s). It was a very fucked-up period for me, often being in the depths of depression and sometimes suicidal....but DAMN could I write! My words had what I refer to as "oomph". You know, that feeling where your hand can't keep up with the thoughts pouring from your brain, the rhymes, images, metaphors come exploding from your pen without any effort at all. That rush of creativity circulating constantly in your veins like a drug.
Then somewhere along the way....it just stopped. When I was recovering from my addiction, I stopped coming to BL for a long time, and my pen dried up as well. Almost as if I was trading in creativity for normality, writing for my sanity. I worked so hard to have a normal, stable life again, and it sapped all the creativity out of my veins. I essentially stopped writing, and when I did write, it was almost as if I was forcing myself to, but it lacked that "oomph", that feeling, that extra something that it used to have. Maybe it was all the drama in my life that no longer existed, the self-destructive path I was hell-bent on, that had fueled my creativity, and in giving that up, I gave up my source of inspiration. But you shouldn't have to be wildly unstable and self-destructive in order to be a good writer, should you?
I'm trying to write again but the words don't flow like they used to, I *hate* that and I'm trying to get it back, but my "oomph" is gone. It's like a case of writer's block that has continued for about 2 years. My question is, has anyone out there experienced something similiar? Have you lost your creativity for a period of time and if you got it back, how did you do so? What do you think your creativity comes from/is fueled by to begin with? And do I have to be manic-depressive again in order to fulfill my dream of becoming a writer? Your thoughts on this are much appreciated!
~*~kimmy~*~
A couple of years ago I used to write constantly, it was my release, my way of processing everything that happened in my life. It was a very manic-depressive stage of my life- the up-and-down rollercoaster that was the course of my drug addiction(s). It was a very fucked-up period for me, often being in the depths of depression and sometimes suicidal....but DAMN could I write! My words had what I refer to as "oomph". You know, that feeling where your hand can't keep up with the thoughts pouring from your brain, the rhymes, images, metaphors come exploding from your pen without any effort at all. That rush of creativity circulating constantly in your veins like a drug.
Then somewhere along the way....it just stopped. When I was recovering from my addiction, I stopped coming to BL for a long time, and my pen dried up as well. Almost as if I was trading in creativity for normality, writing for my sanity. I worked so hard to have a normal, stable life again, and it sapped all the creativity out of my veins. I essentially stopped writing, and when I did write, it was almost as if I was forcing myself to, but it lacked that "oomph", that feeling, that extra something that it used to have. Maybe it was all the drama in my life that no longer existed, the self-destructive path I was hell-bent on, that had fueled my creativity, and in giving that up, I gave up my source of inspiration. But you shouldn't have to be wildly unstable and self-destructive in order to be a good writer, should you?
I'm trying to write again but the words don't flow like they used to, I *hate* that and I'm trying to get it back, but my "oomph" is gone. It's like a case of writer's block that has continued for about 2 years. My question is, has anyone out there experienced something similiar? Have you lost your creativity for a period of time and if you got it back, how did you do so? What do you think your creativity comes from/is fueled by to begin with? And do I have to be manic-depressive again in order to fulfill my dream of becoming a writer? Your thoughts on this are much appreciated!
~*~kimmy~*~
