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Looking for "the answer" - MERGED
- Thread starter jake99
- Start date
Lazyscience
Bluelighter
just stop taking all drugs altogether. youll feel shit for a week or two but once thats over, youve done it.
Sweet P
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2009
- Messages
- 5,243
I feel ya. I'm 25, unemployed (have been all my life), got few true friends, no hobbies or ambitions, and I'm unhealthy and mentally ill. I'm lucky that I do have a partner - I think she's the only thing in my life which gives me stability at the moment. Try not to worry too much about the future. What will be will be. And there could be something great just waiting around the corner!
Those people are not carefree...some just deal with things differently.
I know what you are saying though....(other paople living carefree) you gotta play with the cards oyu are dealt. I am just starting to realize this. I have noticed in the past few weeks, (while trying to be aware of what i'm thinking about), that I tend to fixate on the negative. What I don't have or what I think I need. Leads to stress and drug use. I even count on being stressed it's so a part of daily life for me. I have 40 2mg Xanax, some dex for when I need a lil pep, and a bunch of codeine for evenings. It was just tonight that I had this realization, none of these drugs are gonna help with my issues. WTF am I doing. Im just keeping myself in a rut.
You mention trying to keep a job you hate...I do too man, and you know what keeps me going? Old people respect that shit. Sounds corny but it works. Those ancient old people who remember work before there was huge mass production and convenience. You might feel like you are doing bitch work but that old coot probably did too and hes gotten this far and built that much character. Just keep at that shit and try to do or learn a couple things a week. Read somethoing you normally wouldn't. Try and meet people (i use church sometimes, im not religious, but they are good for networking) The more you learn and the more connections you have the more opportunities there are to get the fuck out of that rut.
Drugs make me lose sight of the finish line, so I end up racing around without direction. (LOST)
Stay Positive
I know what you are saying though....(other paople living carefree) you gotta play with the cards oyu are dealt. I am just starting to realize this. I have noticed in the past few weeks, (while trying to be aware of what i'm thinking about), that I tend to fixate on the negative. What I don't have or what I think I need. Leads to stress and drug use. I even count on being stressed it's so a part of daily life for me. I have 40 2mg Xanax, some dex for when I need a lil pep, and a bunch of codeine for evenings. It was just tonight that I had this realization, none of these drugs are gonna help with my issues. WTF am I doing. Im just keeping myself in a rut.
You mention trying to keep a job you hate...I do too man, and you know what keeps me going? Old people respect that shit. Sounds corny but it works. Those ancient old people who remember work before there was huge mass production and convenience. You might feel like you are doing bitch work but that old coot probably did too and hes gotten this far and built that much character. Just keep at that shit and try to do or learn a couple things a week. Read somethoing you normally wouldn't. Try and meet people (i use church sometimes, im not religious, but they are good for networking) The more you learn and the more connections you have the more opportunities there are to get the fuck out of that rut.
Drugs make me lose sight of the finish line, so I end up racing around without direction. (LOST)
Stay Positive
lasthurrah19
Bluelighter
You are where you are now... I'm in the same boat. Guilt sucks but if you can somehow say - okay, I've made my mistakes. What can I do to make myself content for today? Or if I can't be content today, make some goals - like getting off subs altogether - and then try to appreciate what you've accomplished just by having a plan to be more content. Reward yourself. I mean look, you've already stopped doing dope! That's HUGE. Suboxone is next to get off of. Once you get over this hurdle, sure there will always be problems in life (that's life), but you can wake up from the night mare. But you have to wake yourself up, no one's going to be able to do it for you. Being stuck in the past keeps you, well, stuck. You did the best you could with the situation you were in and the skills you had at the time. Now it's time to learn and use some new skills.
Fear is part of life for EVERYBODY. The key is to feel it and do what you need to do anyway. Taking risks is hard, but good risks are healthy. What have you got to lose? Talk to your fear... like for example, "I'm afraid of going back to school? Why - because I'm afraid I'll get overwhelmed with new people and a new routine. Next fear - keeping up with school work. But in reality, I've always been able to do it. And then what if I do? I'll flunk out and have to go back to what I was doing before." When I let my fear run all the way through in my head - like in NA when they say run the tape through - I usually find that, at some point, it is unrealistic. The key is realize what an unrealistic fear is, and then walking through it, even though the fear is there.
Here's a crappy version of a story on a worksheet I have from my IOP group therapy (spliced from a few different websites - I really wish I had the original with me right now):
Suppose we are walking down the country road at night. We look down at the ground and suddenly we see a snake and become frightened. Then we turn our flashlight on it. We look again and we see that there is only a rope, no snake. The rope was there all along, never a snake, but the rope appeared to us to be a snake because our sight was obscured by the darkness, because we did not focus our light on it. As a result of seeing a snake we became filled with fear and worry. When we found that it was only a rope, the appearance of the snake dissolved.
We come across and step on snakes of various colors and stripes everyday. Almost all of them are silly old pieces of rope. For instance, how often have we assumed someone is guilty before we know the facts? How many of us suffer from a fear of an illness than from the illness itself? More of us suffer from the fear of an event than the event itself! Do we behave like this out of fear, paranoia, an inferiority complex or a lack of trust and insecurity? Or do we behave like this out of ignorance and misunderstanding?
The key is to learn to differentiate between the rope or what is real and the snake, or what is our imagination. The key is to find ways to change fear into curiosity.
Is fear necessary? A person who has no fear at all or one who has too much fear has a serious problem. A balance is needed. No one takes FEAR seriously. Most want to believe it is a good thing to help keep us safe. But, in reality, we fail to realize that it seriously hinders the realization of our full innate potential which prevents us from doing many new things.
There are as many people in the world that can turn a snake into a rope as there are people who can routinely turn a rope into a snake. How we confront a problem is up to us because every problem can be turned into a disaster, a bigger more venomous cobra, or seen as a challenge or opportunity to be faced head-on and dealt with.
Hope some of this made sense and maybe helped a bit.
missunderstood
Bluelighter
This was good advice for all of us on this thread I get allot of help from all of you thank you. Stay strong. Life is full of changes.
missunderstood
Bluelighter
missunderstood
Bluelighter
hahaha what the hell?
missunderstood
Bluelighter
Hey I had a pretty harsh day myself. But it is ALL good Jake just haven't got a chance to do anything on my comp. Sorry I am back things are going the way I plannaed