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looking for guidance from other opiate kickers

P

phillyjen

Greenlighter
Joined
May 18, 2010
Messages
19
Location
In transition
Hi

The main reason I came into this forum is to get advice on how to continue in my life post-opiates....I have used opiates daily for 15 years -- started with Lorcets and then graduated to heroin (initially sniffing and then shooting), with a few weeks clean here and there (as a result of rehab and/or methadone/suboxone programs). I recently had to go to North Carolina for a few weeks (where I didn't know anywhere to cop) so I took some fentanyl patches and suboxone with me (was a little afraid of the suboxone since I experienced precipitated withdrawal in the past when I took it TOO SOON) -- and was able to smoothly transition from the fentanyl to the suboxone.

Problem is that I moved and no longer have a program to go to (my name is a misnomer -- I know longer live in Philly) -- I took my last 4 mg of suboxone 2 days ago and have slight withdrawal (tummy problems, runny nose, sneezing in threes). I want to try to live without any DAILY crutch (dope, suboxone, methadone)....but my biggest fear is that of the unknown. Is this the worst of the withdrawals? I read a post that said exercise will help, so I'll try that. Anyhow, the withdrawal symptom I fear most is the debilitating suicide-inducing DEPRESSION...after 15 years of abuse, it's going to be a while before my brain is right again. Luckily, I don't know where to cop here (and I'm not actively looking) because I would DEFINITELY relapse.

Sorry this is long but I am looking forward to learning from those who have gone through this before....but I do miss my H (unfortunately!!)
 
Hi, welcome to Bluelight :)

You won't get the exposure you want here in New Member Introductions. Maybe try reading The Dark Side sub forum, and do some searches in there. The advanced search engine is really good!
 
Thank you for the advice...I have been looking in other sections of this site for info...I was just giving (extensive) background of what lured me here ;)
 
You need to taper down with Suboxone, unless you can manage to stop where you are now.

Overalll I understand where you're coming from, I just think 15 years of use might take more Suboxone than others, but it's really up to you.
 
hey welcome to BL, if you need any help thru this process feel free to shoot me an email [email protected]. kicking a long dope habit can be very draining both physically and mentally. Sadly you are probably just experiencing the beginning of withdrawls. You will most likely peak out in 3 or 4 days, and the whole physical process shouldn't last more than another 12 days or so.

The best thing to do is get lots of rest, drink fluids (gatorade or juice is good for the electrolytes), and let somebody know what you are going through for the support...trust me if you can be supported throughout this process it makes it a lot easier than feeling like you have to go through hell alone. You could pick up some 5-htp and melatonin from the store which will help you sleep and improve some of the depression a bit if you do not want to use drugs through the process.

If you can see a doctor and be honest, usually a short script for klonopin or ativancan take the edge off of WDs or even a bottle of subs for teh procss...shit im having a hard time typing the rest of this as i have not yet fixed my own dope habit for good yet. Good luck and ask for help when you need it, you'll get through this!
 
Captain.Heroin thought this might be more suited for TDS and I agree.

I think you'll get more support there. take care, OP

-> TDS
 
Heavenly333 said:
Would an anti- depressant help him with the depression after with draw?
Click to expand...

Yes (I think he's a she though lol, hence the "Jen" part) it will help a lot.

When I got off poppies the first time around I was put on Lexapro and don't remember dealing with any depression at all tbo.
 
yes and AD will help trendously. heroin is the best anxiolytic/antidepressant there is, and since you have a propensity towards it i assume you have underlying issues that you were self medicating with it. god knows i was.

i take 10mg of lexapro and it totally takes away my anxiety which is severe. no need for benzos. and it augments my mood so that i can actually enjoy life! that in combo with a low dose of bupe is really a wonderful thing. still, those first 6 months/year, whatever are fucking rough with cravings, bordeom, and just using dope in lieu of the basic joys/neccesities of life. i mean i would put dope before eating, having a place to live, and other basic drives that ensure survival. oh, sex, thats one too. it took me a while to get used to showering once a day after years of addiction and living homeless. holding down a job and waking up before noon too. when you get low enough with dope to where you are on the street, like i was, you really really have to make a huge effort to just endure the smallest challenges without running to dope. fuck im tired. ill continue later.
 
getting clean is the easy part. the PAWS is what does you in.

the best thing is to structure your life post opiates. the more you have a schedule, the less you will be sitting around thinking of a 'fix'...

it's really important to get a routine down. get up at the same time every day, exercise is key, having someone that can listen to you bitch is key as well (im not talking a sponsor or AA/NA).

just someone that will be sympathetic to your new life post opiates..

i found that quitting fent was the easy part... the PAWS did me in for so long...

routine, routine, routine.... and eventually it will fade away.

i've been on cymbalta, and other SSRI's for almost 20 yrs now... they helped a great deal with the PAWS...

but getting yourself a schedule will keep you from relapse... almost certain.
 
Moving was the best thing you could've done for yourself. Don't befriend anyone who does anything! This is the only thing that helped me sober up; the only thing that worked.

Good luck staying clean.
 
lol, "user name here", moving to charleston, sc was good for you drug-wise? that's probably the first time i've ever heard anyone say that! it's my favorite city in the world though- beautiful, historic, fun, so many cool people. what part of town are u in? i miss it...

to the OP, are you living in NC now? there are a lot of really good areas with a lot of really supportive people/facilities for this kind of thing, depending where you are. if not, i'm sure u can find something comparable in your region. if u are in nc though, pm me if u like, and i can recommend some things in like the rdu/chapel hill, greensboro, charlotte, or asheville areas
 
stray cat said:
lol, "user name here", moving to charleston, sc was good for you drug-wise? that's probably the first time i've ever heard anyone say that! it's my favorite city in the world though- beautiful, historic, fun, so many cool people. what part of town are u in? i miss it...
Click to expand...

Haha, I know there are a lot of drugs here with it being a port city and all, but I have been careful about who I befriend here. On occasion I will crave something but even if I truly wanted to follow through and find a drug, I wouldn't even know where to begin looking.

I live in West Ashley right now but my s.o. and I are getting a place by Aug. 9th (when my current lease ends) and we are looking at moving to James Island or Mt. Pleasant since they are a little closer to the Citadel.

I'm going to miss it when we move to Quantico, VA in one year. This is by far my favorite place in the whole wide world, and I've been all over... This is my home now. I have never been so content in a place before, and I feel so happy here, it's awesome.

Where do you live now? Why'd ya move away? It's going to be so hard to move but I've gotta make sacrifices :P
 
hi jen , good to hear your taking steps to get your life in order.your story is similar to mine in that i was also a long term doper(13 years) and have now been clean for almost 1 year.what helped me was a sub taper followed by a 10 day tramadol taper,starting at 500mg dropping 50mg every day.i know a lot of people hate tramadol but for me it was better than subs and surprisingly easy too taper.it is vital to get a hold of benzos for this period,be carefull not to swap one for the other.the month after this is always going too be tough and perhaps a short course of ssris would be helpfull.you hear alot about paws hitting people for months but not everybody is the same.after about a month i felt reborn,you might be the same.after this it is vital to build in some structure too your life,to take up the time spent previously chasing dope.go too meetings if you find this helpfull,do everything you can too stay away from drugs and drug people because you will be weak,try and get a job you can bear,enjoy the money you previously spent on dope! good luck, stay strong and you will find a whole new life out there,all the questions you will want to ask can be found here on bluelight,ask and will be helped!! again good luck !!! ...erik...
 
Thanks SO MUCH for all the advice....I'm not in NC anymore -- I messed up so bad that I was unemployed for 8 mos (too apathetic to get a new job) and just got one recently (hence the short time in NC)....my financial situation was ridiculous so I came back to my hometown (in NW PA) rather than return to Philly...even though I was a LONG TERM dope user, my family either never found out or was in complete denial...I really don't know anyone here anymore (except former high school friends that knew me pre-using) -- so the support/confidante thing is something that may be lacking unless I go to an NA meeting (which I am reluctant to do -- not a big town, so I'm not sure how "anonymous" it would be).

I do have a job, but I work entirely from home -- the boredom tends to set in and that is when I get into trouble (craving-wise)...

Anyhow, I will use as much of your advice as I can and try to glean as much support from BL as possible...it seems like a GREAT resource and I'm going to try REALLY hard to stay clean...
 
Hey Im from Philly too and was addicted to dope for 2 years. Everyday I would drive 45 minutes to North philly and cop my dope on street corners, dodging thieves and cops the whole time and thankfully being smart enough not to get busted, some pretty bad close calls though..like walking down the street and a van full of cops pull up behind you and start searching you. That happened twice and once they found a crackpipe, once they found used needles..Each time they thankfully just broke the shit and told me never to come back, I dont "belong there". Maybe you can relate to this?

What saved me was suboxone..I've been clean from dope for 5 months now and take 4mg when I wake up, the cravings have gone away almost completely. If suboxone helps you as you say I would look for a Doc in your new area and get a script.

Good luck
 
Georgie25 said:
Everyday I would drive 45 minutes to North philly and cop my dope on street corners, dodging thieves and cops the whole time and thankfully being smart enough not to get busted, some pretty bad close calls though..Maybe you can relate to this?
Click to expand...

YES...I can relate -- I went to North Philly pretty much every day for 15 years to cop...was pulled over a couple of times, but I never got arrested (or had my car impounded), thank goodness -- but they did arrest my passenger twice. Unfortunately, that didn't wake me up...the cravings were too great! Thank you for the advice regarding the Suboxone...it's been 4 days now and I'm still kind of at the same level of withdrawal -- but when I'm not working I try to surround myself with people -- being "social" is a distraction from my withdrawal symptoms. However, this is usually at a bar so I may be swapping one problem for another! Damn addictive personality...
 
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