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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

looking for an answer

abadchoice

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 1, 2011
Messages
20
hey there guys...this next section is a post that happened in MAY of 2010

"""Hello peeps....saturday(MAY 2010) i took a vasodiolator/fatburner to excersice around 630pm.... saturday night(10pm) sunday morning(8am) we had a hard party for a friend ... got very drunk and made "a bad choice" and did some cocaine(almost about a 20's worth) ... woke up sunday afternoon still drunk and it went away around 5pm...panic attack came in around 8pm ...my first one :/ ... fell asleep by 11pm ... woke up monday(13-14 hours of sleep) feeling really light headed/brainfoggish/weird vision ... thinking it was still part of the hangover...tuesday same thing light headed/dreamy feeling ...its wednesday now same thing...my anxiety is gone though but still have the lightheaded feeling...like the just woke up groggy feeling ...is this a normal feeling(the lightheaded/foggy/weird vision/heavy eyed) after having a panic attack...or could it have been the mixture of booze coc and pre workout drink?....im just a tad scared...any advice suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks"""

Here is NOW 2012

Now heres a little history of my usage .... 2008-2011 i used X every other weekend and the cocaine came in around the end of 2009 used every other aswell and sometimes coctailed both including booze....mostly cocaine and booze....I did use alot of vaso dialators for lifting weights for about 2 years on and off....after the MAY 2010 incident i got a couple of blood tests came out normal...semi low vitamin D but that was taken cared of with vitamins....went to a psych and told me i mostly now have anxiety which i dont feel that much anymore but what i still do feel now is the blurry heavy/fatigued eye feeling sometimes feeling not real but get a hold of myself quickly with the deep thoughts of regreting that night trying to find out something wrong with me... thinking i will never feel like myself again or normal like i did before the MAY 2010 incident....I ocasionally drink coffee or a monster(not much i cut down alot) to help me up due to insomnia....makes me feel jittery and panicky but tolerable not like the first few i had in MAY 2010. I did get my eyes checked came out with astigmatism and myopia and now wear contacts...but the "weird" vision is still there. I told a doctor the story and he tried prescribing me Lexapro due to POSSIBLE low serotonin levels. I refused due to many stories that i have heard and people i knew that made symptoms worse in the long run and other side effects of the SSRI. I stand here now looking for an answer. I honestly try to think positive and live my normal life with my family and my fun job that i love to do...makes me so happy at times but most of the time these thoughts are there and dont go away and the vision deal too which makes me think things arn't real at times and gets a bit scary 8( .... it's been 17 months! It has gotten better but its there really bothering me and frustrating and just blah :( .... forgot to say that i havnt done X in about 14 months and i did try cocaine 2 more times after just to see if it would be the same as the MAY 2010 incident but nothing happened the next day...not panic attack or anything....been clean for 2 months and planning to keep it that way for good :) ....anyone have any thoughts or opinions .... am I going crazy? .... any good or bad comments are welcome....thanks for reading this and i apologize for my grammar and spelling English is not my first language hehe.
 
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Hmm, this is very puzzling indeed.

Could you explain this vision abnormality in any other way? I know it must be very hard to put into words so others can begin to understand what exactly your feeling.

By chance is it temporary disorientation more mentally but that also distorts your field of vision for very brief moments?

There is a chance that this could allow stem from an underlying anxiety/depression. Its hard for me to way much more without fully understanding what your experiencing. I do know that anxiety as well as depression can cause very odd somewhat disturbing mental/physical symptoms.

One other quick question? Aren't fat burning suppplements usually vasoconstrictors, not dialators. I know with pre-workout the purpose besides a bit of energy is to increase blood flow, via a few mechanisms, but I believe most fat burners have mild to moderate vasoconstriction.
 
Well the ones I would take I think were vaso dialators examples like NO Xplode and Jack3d and such.

Let me try to explain it a little bit more. You know when you first wake up after sleeping alot where you feel groggy and spaced out and swollen eyes with a bit of cloudiness in your brain? It kind of feels like that but through out the whole day. When I force my eyes wide open my eye lids feel as if they were heavy and a bit swollen. The thing that really gets to me is thinking about what is wrong with me that if this vision thing would go away I believe my problems and negative thoughts would just go away. I do have redness on my eyelids with a bit of crusties. Ive had that for about 4 years already. The more i touch them or clean them i mean the more read they get. I recently started to put erythromycin for about a week now and a while back about 2 years ago i use to put hydrocortisone 1% cream on the eyelids for the itchiness but would you really think this could be from all that and not from the incicent in MAY 2010?

I forgot to add that the night i got that panic attack I was fine. My girlfriend at the time who is now my fiance had left around 4-5pm feeling extremely sad cause i would only see her on weekends but that was that....I ordered a pizza and a movie and a soon as the pizza got here...i took my first chomp and my appetite just went away in an instant! and i started to feel weird and nervous/paranoid. Had to step out side and kind of felt sad and just mainly scared. I got a hold of myself went inside just laid down and felt really weird and zoned out and thats when i just fell asleep and woke up with all this crap.
 
I would recommend you find a GOOD new doctor who has experience with hard to diagnose/hard to treat problems, an opthamologist and definitely a good therapist too. This is a complicated issue and there could be so many different causes and factors at play.

Interestingly I have had weird vision problems since a traumatic incident that happened around the same time as your's too.
 
Ive been looking and researching but ah man its tough. Is it like a stoned feeling but your not stoned kind of vision? lol
 
Yeah that's what my vision is like too. Except I haven't noticed much redness and itchiness on my eyelids, at least not constantly.

I know, it's really hard to find a good and knowledgeable doctor. There are SO many different things that could be causing or worsening your problems. Anxiety or PTSD, retinal problems, diabetes, injury, maybe some allergies or infections...

Have you been to an opthamologist? You should really see an opthamologist and get some tests done to rule out other causes.

Here's a link to check out: Can anxiety cause blurred vision?
 
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