EllenCherryCharles
Greenlighter
So, given that I have been using Bluelight for as long as I have been using illicit substances, it is kind of a shock that I am just now joining as a member.
A little about myself: I am a 25 y/o female from the Baltimore area. I'm a former heroin addict (bad luck for a Baltimore native) and the only person I know who went through a methadone detox in a period of 3 months - I just knew that my options were to use it to flush the junk out of my system or be on it for the rest of my life. I have an extremely addictive personality and it was immediately clear to me that any strict adherence to the methadone program would leave me on it for an indefinite period of time - something I knew I absolutely did not want.
I have a plethora of mental health issues resulting from an extremely abusive childhood and adolescence (daughter of a parent formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, brutal parental divorce after a 25 year marriage, molested by 4 different people and sexually abused from the age of 3 up until 16 - who WOULDN'T suffer mentally after all of that?)
It has been two years since I was on the methadone program and its been a difficult road ever since. It usually cycles through about a few months at a time - some periods I feel happy and content, but the minute depression sets in I find my cravings harder and harder to resist. Anyone who has ever had a heroin habit and also dealt with depression knows that the absolute relief you get from a nice big shot of dope is the BEST cure for depression.... until its not.
Anyway, I'm hoping to connect with other people who have had similar problems as well as ask a few questions of my own that I've been searching the forums for answers to. Thank you to everyone at bluelight who has provided non-judgmental, open-minded, educated answers to our drug related questions for the past decade.
A little about myself: I am a 25 y/o female from the Baltimore area. I'm a former heroin addict (bad luck for a Baltimore native) and the only person I know who went through a methadone detox in a period of 3 months - I just knew that my options were to use it to flush the junk out of my system or be on it for the rest of my life. I have an extremely addictive personality and it was immediately clear to me that any strict adherence to the methadone program would leave me on it for an indefinite period of time - something I knew I absolutely did not want.
I have a plethora of mental health issues resulting from an extremely abusive childhood and adolescence (daughter of a parent formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, brutal parental divorce after a 25 year marriage, molested by 4 different people and sexually abused from the age of 3 up until 16 - who WOULDN'T suffer mentally after all of that?)
It has been two years since I was on the methadone program and its been a difficult road ever since. It usually cycles through about a few months at a time - some periods I feel happy and content, but the minute depression sets in I find my cravings harder and harder to resist. Anyone who has ever had a heroin habit and also dealt with depression knows that the absolute relief you get from a nice big shot of dope is the BEST cure for depression.... until its not.
Anyway, I'm hoping to connect with other people who have had similar problems as well as ask a few questions of my own that I've been searching the forums for answers to. Thank you to everyone at bluelight who has provided non-judgmental, open-minded, educated answers to our drug related questions for the past decade.
