bedbugger1970
Greenlighter
I am 43 yrs old. I have struggled with my addiction since the age of 9 . Jails , rehabs , hospitals , religion , 12 step programs , have been apart of my life since the age of 14 . I managed to stay clean for 6 yrs but that was when I was a teenager . When I was twenty I took that first drink and before I knew it my whole life has passed me by . Don't get me wrong, I've had just as much success as I have failure. I have traveled the country and experienced a lot of things , partied with some famous people and even became one in my own mind. I have always been able to hold a job. After all I have to support my habits. There was a time that I was a persistent felon that didn't get caught. I continue to strive for recovery and I slip sometimes , I just know in my heart that I don't want be spiritually, morally, and financially bankrupt again. being clean for just one day and maybe the next , could maybe get through the week is not out of my grasp. I say to any one such as myself , that FREEDOM from active addiction is possible for anyone ... even me . 5 years ago my heart crashed because I was on a speedball binge for almost 2 weeks . Had a friend not gotten me to the hospital that night , I wouldn't be here. one week later I was right back to my lifestyle. 90 days ago I checked myself in rehab , again... I managed to stay clean for 2 and half months this time . I'm high at this moment , but I will say this..I know I'm going to be ok , because my desire to be clean is greater than my obsession to get high. I thank everyone on this site for being here . because some of the info. I used on here might have saved my life at one time. Even tonight when I stuck that needle in my arm. I believe that it is not the last one that will kill me...Its the first one that gets me started.
