Hi all, I'm a 40 yo white male, i work in the IT industry. I think like most we found this site for research on our drug use or even support when we didn't have drugs. I'm your typical story, chronic back pain, was over prescribed meds, which led me down a nasty road of trying everything i could get my hands on (mostly opiates) which lead me to H. It was one of those oh this is awesome only do it a couple days a week, then it turned into full blown getting pay day loans, out so much i couldn't pay for them or get any more money for my habit. That was the first time i got clean... I was clean for almost a year, and then now i'm back at it. right now on day 3 of a forced detox from a 3 week binge. Wanting to stay clean, but as you all know, the next bag is always your last right? Let me preface also that I don't nearly have a habit now like i did a year ago, but i can feel it's grip slowly encapsulating me. I keep lying to myself saying i'll just do this on the recreational side and as we all know there's nothing recreational about the H... I know I'll use again, because i have 2g's waiting for me tomorrow. I'm also a secret addict, really no one knows what i do. Well.. knows the extent of what i do. there's only a couple of friends (who only do it when i have it) that know i do it, but not to the extent of how much i do it. My wife doesn't even know. Anyway to get me through my WD's i usually read this forum at work to get inspiration / advice. Anyway, I know this is not a new story but it's mine. I want to get clean again, and i know i will.. it's just a matter of time... you would think having friends die from this exact thing would be a wake up call, but it hasn't been... anwyay, good to finally be here for real and hoping to help use this as a live journal of use and hopefully to help lift from the fog.
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NMI Moderators: M!$TER-ED
Long time reader, first time poster
- Thread starter HeronRon
- Start date
Hey, HeronRon, welcome to Bluelight.
I'm glad you've made the decicion to come forward and become an active member, all are welcome. It sounds like you also have a working knowledge of the site and where to find things, etc. but if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. I'm sure someone will be happy to point you in the right direction.
See you around Bluelight !